Hell is a Martial Artist
by Ozzallos
Summary: When the Grand Demoness of Hell finds a new play toy, she gets more than she bargained for with Ranma Saotome, gender cursed heir of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.
1. Chapter 1

_Forward—This idea has actually been on the drawing board for a bit, but I've held off because of the recent glut in Ranma/Hild fiction. Regardless, the idea was too persistent to put off any longer. Nick and Sarah, enjoy._

* * *

**Hell is a Martial Artist  
_Chapter I_ **

"**D**on't be so grumpy. It was just a harmless joke."

Belldandy, Goddess first Class, Second category unlimited didn't look grumpy per se. In fact, many of her closest acquaintances would swear that it was all but impossible for the Goddess of the Present to even emote grumpiness. Be that as it may, the brunettes face wasn't exactly the picture of happiness at the moment, and the elegant blue and white robes she wore seemed to emphasis that fact, fluttering to an invisible breeze as if agitated itself.

"I'm afraid this goes far beyond a mere joke, Hild-sama." The Goddess accused solemnly, floating across from her adversary while people went about their business below, as if four women weren't floating above their heads having a conversation.

"You turned Keiichi into a nymphomaniac." The white haired woman beside Belldandy stated flatly, no more amused than her sister. Besides, that was her job, Urd thought to herself silently.

"You're just a big meanie, Hild!" Skuld rounded out the condemnations, waving her long hammer at the Grand Mistress of Hell in a menacing fashion. Granted, Keiichi wasn't first on her list of favorite people, but nobody deserved to be turned into a lust starved automaton.

"_Pah_-lease." Hild rolled her eyes. All in all, she looked much like her white haired daughter, save the red star on her forehead and liberal state of dress, which was even _more_ revealing than that of her daughter's deep blue body wrap. Urd's plunging V neck had little on the pink on black vinyl dress Hild wore, which left absolutely _nothing_ to the imagination.

The Daimakaichō smiled impishly. "Besides, you really need to loosen up, Bell-chan. Nothing a nice roll in the hay wouldn't cure."

"Release the spell, Hild-sama." Belldandy ordered in no uncertain terms as a light blue aura manifested itself around her. Beside her, Urd began to crackle with electricity while the black haired Goddess of the future pulled a Skuld Bomb from subspace.

"Enough with the meddling, _Mother._" There was no mistaken the frigid tone Urd used when addressing Hild, causing the demoness to frown. "Turn him back."

The well tanned women shook her head, clearly disappointed with the situation. "Daughter, I would think you of _all people_ would appreciate my efforts in this romantic endeavor."

"Assuming your intentions were something this side of pure." The Goddess returned testily. "maybe if you weren't such an egomaniacal, self serving, demonic..."

Hild smiled, waving the comments aside. "Now, now. Flattery will get you everywhere."

A ball of power began to coalesce into Belldandy's palm, and she pointed it into the parcel of sky the demoness currently occupied. "This is your last warning, Hild-sama. Please turn Keiichi back before--"

_"AAAHHHHaaaaAAAAHHH!!!"_

**BOOOooMM!**

The bolt of mana wavered with the distraction as a blue blur streaked through their altitude from on high and impacted into the park below with jarring force and angry cloud of debris that sent rock flying. From there, the blue projectile dug a fifty foot trench across the greenery and promptly annihilated one of the districts many fountains, which promptly exploded into a geyser of cold water. The Demon Mistress blinked, looking up from the sky and down to the trail of ruin below as mortals fled for their lives. Normally Kami-sama wasn't quite this obvious in sending reinforcements. Then again... Hild stared at the goddess trio hovering across from her and noted their own stunned expressions. No, they clearly hadn't been expecting this either.

Three divine beings and one damned watched curiously as the plume of dust cleared and the rubble around what was left of the fountain shift. From it, crawled a slight redheaded girl, appearing to shake off the effects of her entrance.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..." She complained, rising to her feet and dislodging bits of embedded concrete, dirt and grass in the process. "Stupid tomboy... Didn't have to get so upset. It was only a picture."

She paused mid thought, looking around to find the park around her deserted. Then, as if she had sensed them, turned her attention skyward to make complete eye contact with the women floating above him. She registered mild shock for a moment, then cocked her head curiously.

"Eh, Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."

* * *

**L**ousy day. 

No, Ranma Saotome amended as he brooded on the Tendo's rooftop. Make that an _epically_ lousy day. It was bad enough that he had to hide from his own mother every time she made a visit. Thanks to her old man and the pact, he had to reckon with being a man among men or face seppuku. Hard to be a man among men when you were cursed to become a cute redhead at the drop of a hat, also thanks to her old man. The martial artist shivered as visions of a katana wielding Nodoka Saotome flashed through his brain, standing beside him in judgment.

Oh yeah. Love that man among men stuff.

Topping this wonderful day off was the appearance of Kumon Ryu, who had assumed his identity in order to obtain the other half of the Saotome sen-ken arts. The confrontation with him revealed the curse and strengthened his position with her mother, forbidding contact with her entirely until Ranma could master the Yamasen-ken's opposite school.

And what that gain him? Ranma thought to herself bitterly. More time with his mother as 'Ranko' and the ever present threat of a beheading. Yay. It was hard enough keeping hope alive that a real cure existed as everything up to this point had turned out to be a fraud, trick or just plain didn't work. Ranma let out another sigh and stared into the blue, cloudless sky one last time. Enough moping. If he was ever going to master the Umisen-ken arts, he need to practice_ hard_ and the only way to do that was to do so in a high threat environment.

Which is why Ranma walked to the edge of the roof and dropped down into Akane's bedroom.

He balanced at the window sill a moment before activating the technique by concentrating on the ki within his body and inverting its natural flow. While the process wasn't painful, it was somewhat disorientating as all traces of his existence were removed from the world. In reality, he knew that he wasn't invisible but imperceptible, the difference being that people were no longer encouraged to notice him due to the unnatural flow of his ki into the world around him. Regardless of the terminology used, Ranma Saotome was now running under full stealth as he entered his fiancées room and began to sneak around, removing items from the desk beside her bed at speeds that would make greased lightning envious. Pencils, notepads a couple books and various other supplies were liberated from the desk in short order until he happened upon a picture of Akane and her mother.

_Well that's where she gets the smile from_, Ranma noted as he fingered it gently. Very cute. At least when she's not cooking, swimming, doing martial arts or pounding my face into the earth, he amended with a wry grin. At least she--

"Ranma, what are you doing?"

The Saotome's gut imploded as he realized the distraction had cost him concentration and the stealth, revealing his presence to the girl who had just walked into the room. He turned around, picture in hand, to find Akane Tendo with a neutral expression on her face. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all? "Eh..heh... Just practicing..."

"The Umisen-ken?" She asked, calmly crossing the threshold into her room.

"Uh, yeah."

Akane nodded as it were a given, noting the items stuffed into the dark green curtain beside him and the picture in hand. "Are those...?"

The pigtailed boy began to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Um..."

"And is that my picture of my mother in your hand?"

"Er...," Ranma stammered as the picture was replaced in its proper spot so fast that it appeared to have teleported.

"Ranma, what did I tell you," her calm demeanor suddenly evaporated, instantly replaced by a bright red aura and a scowl across her face. "ABOUT NOT PRACTICING IN MY ROOM?!"

The martial artists eyes widened at the abrupt shift in attitude and watched in horror as a glowing fist reared back, cocked, and streaked for him in the form of a vicious uppercut.

_WHAaM!_

Ranmna Saotome was fifty feet up and through the roof before regaining his senses, rapidly gaining altitude through a lazy spiral. Fortunately for the martial artist, the Saotome branch of Anything Goes was a predominately aerial school, and he righted himself within a few seconds with a couple of bodily twists as the dojo rapidly diminished in size.

_Damn_, he groused internally. Damn, damn, damn_, damn_! Of course, it had been his fault, Ranma realized as his spiraling arc passed through three hundred meters and began to flatten out. Even so, she didn't have to get so violent over a stupid picture. It wasn't as if his mother, art or manhood were at stake, nosiree. The Saotome ground his teeth together in frustration as he passed a seagull and watched the city below. _Well, I'm out of Nerima_, he realized as his decent began. Looks like Juuban to the east, which would make this Chiba, I guess. Great, a new distance record for the gorilla.

At least it was looking as if he was going to land in a park, he noted with little humor. Grass and dirt was always better than concrete, right? Committed to his finally approach, Ranma began to harden his body with ki and braced for impact. Might as well give the little kids some warning too.

_"AAAHHHHaaaaAAAAHHH!!!"_

**BOOOooMM!**

The grass and dirt performed as advertised, absorbing a good chunk of Ranma's deceleration trauma as the terrain buckled around him violently. While the remainder of the impact was well within his abilities to compensate for, the horizontal inertia wasn't and Ranma careened wildly from the initial crater, across the park and into the only fountain within eight kilometers of his- now_ her_ -present location. Its destruction was suitably spectacular and a geyser of unrestrained water shot skyward, drenching the now stationary martial artist as she sat slightly stunned amid the rubble and debris.

It took another couple of seconds for Ranma's brain to reboot, which in turn allowed herself to stagger out of the long thirty meter trench she had dug herself while complaining about a certain fiancée. Irony gripped the redhead as she flexed a sore arm whose sleeve was now mere silk tatters. _Funny how the landing always hurts more than the hit itself_, she mused, watching as the last of the park goers evacuated the area. After all, it wasn't everyday your local water fountain spontaneously detonated.

Ranma looked around, trying to get her bearings when she noticed it-- waves of power wafting around her like a blanket. It wasn't ki or a battle aura, but it was definitely tangible. She looked around the park, finding it devoid of people, then up eyes widening. There above her were four women staring down at her, three facing off against one.

_That's one hellva technique,_ Ranma's brain registered as it finally pushed through the impossibility of what he was seeing, then noticed that all eyes were on him. Maybe explanations were in order so they wouldn't get the wrong idea...

"Eh, Ranma Saotome. Sorry, bout this."

"She can see us?" Belldandy whispered, quite amazed that the girl had come through the violent ordeal intact, while Urd took a slightly more verbal stance on the issue.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Hild smiled at her daughter's impetuousness and watched the redhead curiously study them from her earthbound vantage point. Like Belldandy, she was quite amazed that the girl had taken the impact as well as she had and was now wondering all sorts of interesting questions about her. What kind of mortal just falls from the sky, destroys a park and gets up as if nothing happened?

Ranma Saotome looked from the trio of floating girls to the lone white haired one, studying the four with an equal amount of curiosity. Her eyes narrowed on the three and she frowned ever so slightly. _I see_, she realized, watching the brilliant blue bolt waver in the brunettes hands. Likewise, the armed little girl and the other white haired woman crackling with electricity. The martial artist gave her ragged silks one last brush down before cocking her head toward the lone white haired woman.

"Need any help?"

Hild blinked. Urd's jaw dropped and Skuld's eyes widened. Even Belldandy gasped slightly. There was no doubt, the question was directed at her and she couldn't help but to smile. "No, I'll be fine."

Ranma arched an eyebrow, studying her intently now. Somehow, she didn't doubt for a moment the woman would be fine. The power she was radiating was pretty damn heavy, even if it wasn't Ki. That, and she seemed sure of herself, so who was she to get involved? Probably for the best, Ranma decided. The way they were all dressed they were probably fiancées or something and she already had enough crap going on her life at the moment. Last thing she needed now was a run-in with magical girls.

She shrugged and flipped her ponytail back off her shoulder. "Suit yourself." The martial artist began to walk toward the nearest street when she paused, smiling wickedly. She turned back to the trio who were still staring at her incredulously. "But just so ya know, three to one odds are pretty weak."

It took a moment for the comment to register with Urd, but when it did her cheek began to twitch. "You have no idea what's going on here!" She exploded back, causing Ranma's smile to widen. "We're...! She's...! You're...!"

Urds fuming stalled as she realized she couldn't possibly let the girl know that they were Goddess or that the woman she was offering to help was, in fact the Daimakaichō herself. That didn't stop the girl, however, who stood there with that infuriating smile and hand on her hips. "I mean, you must suck pretty badly if you can't take her one on one."

Hild stifled another chuckle. Watching the little mortal antagonize the Norns and her daughter was priceless!

Urd was now glowing and even Skuld was getting visibly upset. "Just who do you think you are?! You can't just, um, fall out of the sky and get all rude!"

"Says the little tomboy with the hammer." Skuld's eyes widened to the size of 500 yen pieces and her red and white robes began to flutter noticeably. "Bet you go around hitting all sort of innocent people with that thing, huh?"

Hild's own jaw just about dropped from its hinges as the youngest Goddess began to glow with righteous indignation. The little redhead was talented, no doubt about it. May have to have to send her a fruit basket later or something for all the entertainment she was providing her.

"YOU... YOU!!!"

"But don't mind me." Ranma continued, turning back to the street. "I'm just passing through."

Urd watched the infuriating girl walk away as she trembled. On one hand, she wanted to clean her clock well and good, but on the other, the girl was only a mortal. Her hands were tied when it came toward outright reprisal. But Goddess second class or not, there was one thing she couldn't resist, and that was getting the last word in.

"That's right little girl." Her tone and mannerisms affected a clam she really wasn't feeling. "Best you be getting home before your mom starts to worry."

Five steps from the sidewalk, the redhead froze. She turned back, eyeing the smiling magical girl. "A little girl now, am I?"

Warning signals sang inside Belldandy's brain as the wrongness of the situation echoed through her brain. This shouldn't be happening; shouldn't be spiraling out of control so quickly! "Urd, I really think--"

"You have no idea who you're up against, kid." Bell's warning went unheard as she glared daggers into the redhead.

"Riiight." She shook her head and yawned. "You just gonna sit up there and talk or are we gonna see if you can back those words up?" With that statement, her lopsided grin grew to its fullest measure. "Unless you're too tired, seein' how old you are and stuff..."

"WHAT?!"

Even Hild's eyes widened with that last comment and the voltage playing along Urd's body crackled to new heights. Oh, she was _definitely_ gonna have to do something nice for this girl once this was all said and done... If she managed to survive the next five minutes, that is. Even the fact that the demoness was still floating less than twenty meters across from them was forgotten as the mortal girl continued her ruthless verbal assault.

"That and your kid there." Ranma waved at Skuld nonchalantly, whose own fuming rose to a steady boil. "I mean, of all the people that should be going home when the street lights come on..."

Skuld bit down hard as her patience abruptly expired. Seeing only red, she keyed a switch on her misshapen bomb and wound back. "ALRIGHT, THAT'S ---"

_BZZZAAPP!!!_

A lightning bolt shredded the air and pulverized the redhead's position, blasting the earth into rock and slag, adding yet another hole to the already demolished park. All eyes turned on Urd, who was smiling wickedly. Oh sure, they all knew it was a relatively low yield blast, but the suddenness of the blast took them all--

"You wasted my time for_ that?_" Urd's jaw fell open as the new cloud of dust blew downwind, revealing the clearly bored redhead inspecting her nails as if nothing had even happened. Less than a few centimeters away was the park's newest smoldering crater. "I mean, I know _pandas_ with more finesse than that."

Even as the white haired girl choked on her own fury, Ranma Saotome was rapidly revising her own tactical situation. The woman may have been an arrogant hag, but that bolt was _damn_ powerful. Kumon Ryo was no pushover, but she was confident that she could beat the bastard. This one, however... Ranma knew she was going to have to go all out when it hit the fan, and judging by the burning glare, it was about to any minute now.

Urd snapped out of her shock and charged down at high speed, lightning crackling in her hand while Hild smirked. _Talent, hell_, she decided. The redhead was nigh _gifted_ if she could just make her daughter lose control so completely. Sure, that was a double edged sword in and of itself, but that didn't make it any less impressive.

The Goddess of the Past closed to blank range and swept in with the handheld bolt, cleaving empty air as the girl took to the air herself, arcing over the passing deity and using her head as a springboard to her next target. Urd promptly augured into the ground face first as the martial artist ascended to Skuld's altitude. The stunned debugger broke from her own awe and chucked the already armed skuld bomb, only to have the girl twist around it and tag it with her foot, sending it down into the patch of realistate that Urd was only now pulling her face out of.

"I AM SO GOING TOO--"

_BOOOOoooOOOOM!_

The sizable mushroom cloud that detonated atop Urd's head did little to distract the red headed whirlwind as she flew into the youngest Norn, forcibly disarming her before unleashing a devastating combination into her body. Shining blue eyes and an impetuous grin were the last things she saw clearly as the girl plowed into her, the momentum of the collision carrying both back to the earth in an uncontrolled tumble. Well, at least Skuld was in an uncontrolled tumble, having lost focus and unable to compensate for the new mass attached to her. At a height of twenty meters, the Saotome shifted her weight around, putting the black haired below her while using her as a catapult to simultaneously slow her own decent and accelerate Skuld's. There was the crunch of impact and Ranma couldn't help but to wince as she landed. The girl obviously wasn't a fighter, and it pained her to punish her so, but she wasn't exactly a noncombatant either. Ranma looked over her shoulder at the results of the bomb she had thrown, noting the smoking ruin where it had landed.

The sight lessened her guilt considerably.

The black haired girl herself was buried in her own grassy knoll, senseless for the moment. With any luck, she'd stay down long enough to take care of the--

_"YOU!!!!!"_

Ranma arched an eyebrow and turned back to the pillar of ruin as a disheveled white haired mess staggered out of the blast zone. Some of that white hair was smoldering while her once elegant blue wrap bore evidence of being exposed to high temperatures. Simply put, she was a mess and a half.

"I'M GOING TO--!"

"Haven't we been over this already?" Ranma rolled her eyes and put her hands in her pockets. "You're a slow poke. Let's call it a day."

"I'm slow, hmmm?" The woman's body language went from enraged to dead calm, sending every muscle in Ranma's body into high alert. "THEN SUCK ON THIS!"

Ranma's only warning came from behind as the woman disappeared and air was instantly displaced behind her. The martial artist didn't even have time to think as she rolled out wildly, barely missing the crackling lightening bolt and white haired fury striving to violently intercept her head. Even as Ranma recovered, the magical girl was gone and air displace once more. This time, she wasn't fast enough and a blue arc crashed into her chest, sending her sprawling across the grassy earth. She rolled with the tumble, righting herself just as the woman phased into existence on her flank. This time, she was in the right position and deflected the lightning bearing arm up and out, pulverizing her sternum with Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken fury. The best she could do was stun the woman, who gave little ground to the attack while she formed another lightning bolt.

"Not good enough, little girl!" Urd snarled and took another swing, only to have the youth leap up and away from the attack in a somersault that opened the distance between them.

Ranma smiled, confusing the Goddess slightly. "That just means you can take enough punishment to be useful practice."

"Practice...?" Urd mouthed, watching her adopt a crouching pose. Suddenly, her senses seemed to go haywire as the redhead faded from view, erased from existence from before her very eyes.

Hild and Belldandy blinked as well from their positions on high. The girl simply vanished, leaving a befuddled Urd on the battlefield searching around wildly. Hild was grinning ferally now, watching her daughter's head whip around on a swivel. The little mortal might not survive her encounter today, but it was positively criminal to let potential like that go to waste. Maybe have Mara draw up a contract to--

_"White Snake Reliable Venom Fist!"_

Ranma Saotome faded into view for the split second it took to initiate the devastating strike, chopping at her back with Amaguriken velocities. Even as the woman spun around with an angry lightning bolt, the redhead was gone, only to reappear seconds later just to her right, repeating the process across the length of her body before finishing with a devastating combo. It was Urd's turn to get knocked across the park, tumbling only a short distance before righting herself in mid flight, little worse for the wear.

Ranma frowned as the tanned woman smoothed out her body wrap as if she were afflicted by nothing more than a light breeze. "Now do you see just what you're up against, girl? If you start begging forgiveness right now, I might just be persuaded to--"

The martial artist promptly faded from view once more, but this time Urd was ready, sweeping at the empty air to her left with a lightning bolt. The crackling blue line seemed to distort before it discharged into space and a hapless redhead, who was not only revealed, but took twenty some decawatts on the chin.

Ranma was plowing earth once more, this time unable to control the fall. She hit hard, and her muscles spasmed with electrical discharge. Urd simply watched from her position, adopting a relaxed pose.

"I have to admit, it's been a while since I've actually seen a mortal invert their own life force like that." She mused, running a hand through her hair. The action seemed to all but eliminated the scorched strands therein. "But face it, it's over. You've lost. Go home."

The struggling girl ceased all movement and began to glow visibly. With some effort, she fought her own scrambled muscular impulses and stood, glaring at the woman before. "There's something you oughta know..."

Urd was mildly surprised the redhead was even on her feet and was all but obligated to ask. "And what's that?"

The nearly imperceptible glow around the redhead intensified, crossing easily into the visible spectrum. Urd's eyes widened. "Ranma Saotome don't lose."

"You've got to be kidding--"

"_Mōko Takabisha!"_

Skuld finally regained her senses twenty meters downrange, watching as the first ki bolt roared out from the diminutive red head, forcing Urd to evade left wildly in sheer surprise. The bright blue sphere blew by her at speeds that rivaled her own lightning bolt, and it took only another second for her brain to kick back in and follow up, sending a lightning bolt back into Ranma. The girl was already gone by the time the elemental blade streaked in, ripping across the earth as the martial artist closed the distance, lighting off another blast of ki. Skuld, Hild and Belldandy watched the spectacle, entranced as ki and mana were exchanged in high intensity combat across what was once one of the better parks in the Chiba prefecture.

"For an old witch, you're pretty fast." Ranma commented as Urd materialized off her right, ducking below an arc of electricity. She took the moment to step in, blast the woman's gut with three high powered before kicks before leaping back and into the Umisen-ken. She honestly didn't expect to fool the white haired women for the remainder of the fight, but throw her off balance? Yes. Sure enough, a glowing fist passed through her after image before she dropped the cloak, unleashing a Mōko Takabisha in her face. The force almost threw the robed women into an involuntary back flip, but she stabilized herself mid air and settled for glaring murderously from a hover. "...But your technique is sloppy as hell."

A low growl emanated from Urd's throat as a large charge of electricity gathered in her left hand. "You've got this one coming_ mortal_..."

"Ya can see I'm positively shaking."

Belldandy watched her sister tense and decide that enough was enough. If nobody intervened, there was little doubt the girl would sustain a life threatening injury at the hands of her sister. She was generally well meaning, but her temper was a fierce one. Even she could see the redhead's power waning and it was time to put a stop to... to whatever this had become. She began to descend onto the pair when a figure blurred in front of her, barring her path.

Purple eyes.  
Tan skin.  
White hair.  
Next to no clothing.  
_Hild._

"Now, now, Bell-chan. Let the girls have their fun." Belldandy inhaled sharply as the Grand Mistress of Hell leaned forward, invading her personal space.

"The girl will get hurt, Hild." She said and tried to cut around the demon, only to be intercepted once more.

"Should have thought of that before you let my daughter blow her top." The Daimakaichō shrugged. "Besides, the little one is quite entertaining."

Belldandy's determined expression was broken as the fireworks below began once more in earnest, Ranma being forced onto the immediate defensive thanks in no small part due to Urd's multi-shot lightning bolt attacks. Ranma frowned as another crackling blue lance arced into her, actually changing course in order to compensate for her movement. _Guided now, are they?_ Ranma noted grimly. Good as she was, even she knew her limits and knew she couldn't keep this up indefinitely. While the white haired witch seemed to have an unlimited amount of power at her disposal, her own resources were limited and draining fast. Mōko Takabishas weren't her most economic technique in terms of ki, and she had been trading them away like water just to keep the woman from dumping a lightning bolt on her ass. At this rate, her opponent would win by default as she would be too tired to carry on.

Time to finish this.

"God, this is PATHETIC!" Ranma balked as her body twisted around the next lightning bolt. Even the near misses were sizzling across her skin like a bad sunburn. "I mean, when did they raise the age limit on magical girls, anyway?"

"YOU…. WILL…. SUFFER." Urds eyes were glowing now and both hands began to manifest bolts of elemental lightning.

"Suffer?" Ranma blinked cluelessly. Like Herb, the woman had her beat when it came to absolute power, but _unlike_ Herb, this one was infinitely easier to goad into recklessness. It was also her only shot at salvaging a victory. "I thought making me stand here listening to you babble was suffering enough!"

_BZZzzAP! BZZAAP! ZAP!ZAP!ZAP!_

Lightning filled the air around Ranma now as the enraged challenger followed her every movement, desperate to the point of insanity to wipe the redhead's smirk off her face. Her bolts were steadily increasing in amperage as her rage mounted. The best she had managed so far was glancing blow that the martial artist managed to fight through, staving off neural muscular meltdown in favor of the intricate pattern she was weaving.

"Maybe I could teach you a few moves," Ranma mused as another round of glowing fists streaked in, pressing her own speeds to their limit. It was only the fact that she was a girl that gave her parity in that department now. "Then again, I'd make a _much_ better magical girl than you."

"GRRRRRRrrrrrRRR…"  
Step. Step. Step. Only a few more revolutions…  
"Heck, I'd even make a _better_ _looking_ one for that matter!"  
"RRAAARRRRRrrrRRRAHHH!!!"  
Step. Step.

_Now._

"Times up. It's been fun."

Urd was shocked as the redhead suddenly stopped with a knowing smile. _What the…?_ That's when she noticed the girl's ki had dropped to absolutely nothing while the ambient temperature around her had done like likewise. An elemental attack? The girl didn't have enough left in her to--

"_HIYRU SHOTEN HA!"_

Ranma thrust her remaining reserves into a fist and pushed it skyward, initiating the catalyst that called forth a technique no less than three thousand years old. Under normal circumstances, her opponent's hot ki would have spiraled into critical mass, reacting with the soul of ice at its core and catalyzing into a tornado fueled by pure life force. The stronger the opponent, the stronger the resulting tempest, which was what made it an excellent technique to be used against multiple combatants or a single powerful one.

Urd, Norn Goddess of the Past, Category Two was just such an opponent.

What she wasn't, however, was ordinary. Ranma had yet to identify the heavy power rolling off the woman, but one thing it wasn't was ki. It was, in fact, mana. Very hot, emotionally charged mana, to be exact. For lack of a better definition it was pure magic and it took the place of the Hiryu Shoten Ha's fuel, gusting around the pigtailed girl into the cyclone and taking on a life of its own. Literally. Urd's eyes widened as the mana took shape and gasped, but it was already too late. An ethereal dragon flared to life around the Saotome, sucking the Goddess up as it spiraled skyward in elemental fury. She tried to break free, but it was her own power, shaped and molded by the girl. It pounded at her mercilessly for the next few thousand feet as it tapped her own reserves unbidden of conscious control.

Urd wasn't the only one to pay the price as the tempest raged around Ranma Saotome, taking with it the last of her combat reserves. Her control faltered and the soul of ice slipped moments later, destabilizing the cyclone's core and ultimately the catalyst driving it. Deprived of its life sustaining elements, the phantom dragon unraveled, sending Urd across Chiba in an uncontrolled ballistic arc while Ranma sank to her knees, teetering on the edge of consciousness.

She stared up into the cloudless blue sky and managed a slight smile at the speck that disappeared into it. "Told ya… Ranma Saotome… Don't lose…"

And with that, her world went black.

* * *

**B**elldandy, Skuld and Hild's eyes registered surprise as the dragon formed and consume the pair, one getting blown skyward while the other ran her life force into the redline summoning the entity now clawing its way to the heavens. The two Norns stared in shocked awe at the scene. Hild did as well, but unlike them, had an outrageous smile plastered across her face. That girl was positively priceless! The redhead had fought her own flesh and blood to a draw! _A mortal!_ The demoness was positively giddy now. 

Oh sure, there's no way she'd be able to do it again. Urd would learn from her mistakes and wouldn't fall into a senseless rage so easily next time. Even if the mortal had more fancy tricks up her sleeve, she was bound to lose, but… She watched Urd disappear across the horizon. Even that was a temporary victory, at best. She'd get knocked around a bit and sure, the landing would smart, but her daughter would be no worse for the wear really. Round two would most assuredly be hers for the taking. Still…

Her eyes turned back to the redhead, who seemed to crack a slight smile, mumble something, then collapse. Yep, that was it. The girl had expended herself entirely, leaving just enough to sustain her vital functions. Even unconscious, the mortal caused her to smile. An excellent performance nonetheless. And to think she was originally going to be content playing mind games with the Norns today. No, this one was _by far_ more interesting.

"Keiichi's yours." Hild stated suddenly, breaking Belldandy and Skulds state of shock. Both looked at her in disbelief. Such a reversal without strings attached was quite unusual for the first lady of hell. "I've released the spell. Run along now and collect him and your sister."

Belldandy blinked, then watched with trepidation as the Daimakaichō floated to the ground, kneeling at the fallen girls side. "Hild-sama, what are you doing?"

"Getting to know my savior better." The tanned demoness smiled, gently gathering the redhead into her arms.

"You can't--"

"Of course I can." She cocked her head, studying the girl's inert features Very interesting, and in more ways than one. With that resolved she turned her purple gaze back skyward and flashed Belldandy a toothy white smile. "Ta-ta for now!"

And then she was gone with a fiery 'poof'.

* * *

**Authors Notes;**  
Let me take this moment to preempt the inevitable Ah My Ranma 1/2 backlash that this posting will undoubtedly receive... Okay, now that that's finished I hope that you're enjoying this one. i really should come up with something more original, but hey, the muse-o-matic comes and goes. Actually, I WASN'T going to release this till a while down the road, so you can blame Nick and Sarah for this travesty of justice. NOT me. I'm PERFECT. 

Eh...

_Any_way... I have a few things i wanted to accomplish with this fic from the git-go. No contracts, no instant love affairs, no **"ZOMG YOUR A DEMON NOW RANMA!"** in the first sentence... That comes later ;) I'll be shooting for an aggressive release schedule, though how that plays out is dependent on my other addiction, World of Warcraft. Oh, for those of you who haven't, check my ffnet page for some spam. Well, good spam.

Nuff talk, more fics.

Special thanks to: TriMatter, DeltaTheta, **THEONEWHOSHALLNOTBENAMED**, MageOhki and Materia Blade for creative services rendered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hell is a Martial Artist****  
Chapter II**  
By _Ozzallos _

**B**lue eyes blinked open, attempting to unsuccessfully bring the world back into focus for their owners, one Ranma Saotome, heir of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. It took a few seconds and another round of blinking, but her vision finally cleared, causing the redhead to frown. Apparently her world consisted of ceiling tiles. Fancy ceiling tiles, as a matter of fact, intricately carved into fine detail. Some had people dancing across them, others had forests and animals. All in all, she decided somebody had either too much time or money on their hands, and opted to sit up instead of studying them further. Ranma's head swam with the motion but she shook it off while taking in her surroundings. _Looks like an office_, she noted, spying various bookshelves, painting and binders. Soft lighting gently illuminated the ivory walls, but her attention was ultimately drawn to the rich oaken desk sitting in front of a huge picture window and the women stationed behind it.

The white haired woman from before.

_Was that a star on her forehead?_

She continued working as Ranma studied her, watching as purple eyes shifted across a paper in one hand while the other was busy typing at… A computer? The computers Ranma knew were bulky pieces of hardware, but _this…_ The entire screen was not only two dimensional, but nearly _transparent_. In fact, it floated free of any support whatsoever. The keyboard which she was typing at was likewise transparent. High tech wasn't the word, Ranma decided, reluctantly turning her attention back to her host. The woman set aside the paper she had been engrossed in, and moved to pick up another when those purple eyes paused and locked onto Ranma's own. A playful smile formed on her lips.

"Ah, so you're finally awake, Red."

"Uh…" It was the best Ranma could manage at the moment, as she was in a room somewhere with a woman she didn't even know. An attractive woman no less, which was immediate grounds for a malleting in Akane's book. That thought out of the way, her brain managed to trickle a thought to his mouth as she shuffled upright. "Eh, sorry about buttin' in on your fight."

The smile widened. "Oh, don't worry about that. She had it coming."

"She did?" Ranma blinked and the woman pushed away from the desk, standing to her full height of what the martial artist estimated to be almost 170 or so odd centimeters, clearing her diminutive 142 by a large margin. The woman stepped around the desk, and her full form was revealed. Unlike before, she was business casual at the moment, with the emphasis being on 'casual'. Very causal, and Ranma thanked God that she had built up a healthy immunity to feminine beauty, as the high cut black skirt and open business jacket held in check only by a golden chain did absolutely nothing to hide her tanned figure. Ryoga would have surly bled a lung through his nose in the same position.

"Daughter of mine needed a lesson in humility." She stated offhand, setting the paper she had been studying. "If you hadn't have done it, I would have." She paused and the smile warmed. "And a fine job you did too."

Ranma scratched the back of her head sheepishly at the praise. "Uh, thanks. She was-- Wait," The woman's words caught up to her. "You said daughter?"

Hild chuckled at the redhead's sudden apprehension. "Don't worry about it. She just didn't appreciate my sense of humor."

"Three to one odds is a pretty piss poor way of showing it." Ranma commented, momentarily forgetting her mouth. Sure, there were times when she was pissed at her old man, but she'd never think to call in Ryoga and Mousse to help settle-- the she realized the bluntness of her statement mid thought. "Uh… that is to say…"

"Ha!" The white haired woman grinned, and stepped up to the redhead. This one was endlessly amusing. She offered her a hand. "My name is Hild. And you are?"

The martial artist stood up, absently noticing that her blue and black silks were no longer a ragged mess. In fact, they looked better than the day she bought them. When did that…? "Oh, Ranma Saotome."

"A pleasure." She returned, retrieving her hand. "I must say, I was quite impressed with your performance. Fighting Urd to a draw is no easy feat for one such as yourself."

"She's sloppy." Ranma shrugged, having long since decided where the woman stood in her world of martial arts. "But powerful. Don't know what I woulda done if the Hiryu Shoten Ha came up empty."

"That daughter of mine does tend to get worked up easily." The business woman sighed somewhat dismayed. "Tough enough to get on her good side normally, let alone when she's like that."

It was something the Saotome could easily sympathize with. "Wouldn't be treatin' you like that if you were my Mom. Got enough problems with mine as it is without fightin' over petty crap."

Hild's interest was piqued. "Oh?"

"Oh." Ranma replied through her brooding, but left it at that. What was she going to tell the woman, after all? That she had been replaced by a martial artist claiming her name and school, fooling her mother who demanded that she be a man among men or her head, which ever came first? 'Hi mom, I'm cursed to become a girl!' Hild seemed nice enough, the martial artist decided. No need to load her down with the insanity of her daily life. "Me and her got _things_ to work out, that all."

Hild nodded, noting the emphasis on the word 'things'. _Big_ things by the sound of it. "And what do you make of me?"

The question took Ranma by surprise for a moment before she focused on the woman before her, scrutinizing every detail both visible and invisible. From that same martial arts standpoint, she didn't like what she found. "Damn powerful, and it ain't ki you're carryin' around. Something heavier."

There was also the unspoken. This Hild was older than she appeared, without a doubt. Especially if she was the other's very mother. Her gaze carried the same weight as the old ghoul, but held a potency even the Elder lacked. Combined with the power she was feeling, there was little doubt in Ranma's mind that a confrontation with the woman would end badly for her. It also helped keep her mind on the person and not her looks.

Fortunately, it didn't appear to be something she had to worry about as Hild seemed to be pleasant company regardless. She seemed satisfied with the answer and moved back to the desk, keying the insubstantial computer. "Mara, my guest is awake."

Seconds later, Ranma watched the hand carved double doors to her office open and a blonde saunter in, silver tray in hand and with fruits, crackers and a fine porcelain kettle of tea. The black leather skirt she wore shifted with her every move as she unfolded the stand in her other hand before the two and set the silver atop, eyeing her with thinly veiled suspicion.

"This is Mara, one of my better field agents." The distraction was enough for said field agent to lose sight of the drop zone, angling the tray just enough to let the tea tumble on the redhead, promptly causing her to shift genders. Any apology that came to Mara's mind was immediately supplanted by shock, as the now black hair boy frowned at the multitude of splotches on his shirt. Hild barely missed a beat. "What she lacks in subtly and _grace,_ she more than makes up for tenacity." She paused momentarily, taking in Ranma's new form. "So which one were you born with?"

It was Ranma's turn to blink now. The change hardly even _fazed_ the woman and now she was talking about it as it were an everyday occurrence. "Uh, this one. Cursed to become a girl with cold water."

Hild nodded as if it were a given, then smiled. "I'd hardly call that a curse, young one." She chuckled slightly, then turned back to Mara with a frown. "More tea."

The demoness nodded crisply, tearing her eyes away from the aquatransexual teen. "Uh, of course, Hild-sama."

"But seriously." The tanned woman continued, sitting down beside Ranma and retrieving a cracker, stacking a thin slice of white cheese atop it. "Why would you ever consider that a curse?"

The course of the conversation and her apparent sincerity had taken the pigtailed boy so much by surprise that his natural guard crashed. "Eh, the water part mostly," he admitted. "There ain't no end to the trouble it causes me. Then there's my parents. Pop's keeps harpin' on women bein' weak while my Mom'll probably chop my head off if she finds out that her manly son turns into a girl."

"Chop your head off?" The Daimakaichō arched an eyebrow. "And Urd thinks _I'm_ a bad mother."

"Ya ain't no bad mom far as I can tell." Ranma stated, snagging a cookie from across the snack tray, but missed the new sparkle in Hild's eyes. "Besides, most of it's my Pop's fault anyway." The martial artist shrugged, leaving the rest unsaid before changing the subject. "So what do ya do around her anyway? Looks like a law office or something."

The Mistress of hell chuckled. Couldn't drop the bomb quite yet, but… "Of sorts. I run a very large corporation."

"Must be pretty damn good at it." He commented. While he wasn't exactly schooled in the customs of corporate Japan, Ranma did know you had to be doing pretty well to get an office this size with a view like the one behind her desk. Though what a deceptively young magical girl bubbling with power was doing playing lawyer was well and beyond him.

"The best." Hild beamed and Ranma did likewise, very familiar with sentiment, if not the profession.

Mara took that moment to return with a new kettle of tea, taking care this time to pour the steaming liquid into ordinate china and _not _on Hild's guest. The Demoness took hers and poised it at her lips.

"So tell me more about this curse…?"

* * *

**A**n hour later saw Hild's office empty, the pair having parted in good humor while Mara was somewhat surprised that her boss had let the boy-girl depart not only in good health, but his soul intact. Now the blonde stood before the Daimakaichō, who was humming slightly to herself, which was an oddity to be sure. The Mistress of Demons appeared to be studying a parchment intently, and Mara knew exactly what parchments of those sorts represented. 

"Is that the boy's contract?"

Hild stared at it a moment longer before turning her attention to Mara. "It is indeed."

"I saw the footage." The blonde stated after news of the battle circulated around Nifelheim. "He'd make an excellent field agent."

"She would at that." Her boss agreed absently, studying the contract further. Mara nearly missed the gender pronoun Hild had used, filing the oddity away for later scrutiny.

"So you want me to serve him then?" Mara was certain that she could have the contract signed and back on her desk within the hour. Nice kid, but the naivety just rolled off him in _waves_.

Hild smiled enigmatically. "No, I think not." With that statement, the blonde was surprised as the parchment burst into flames between her Master's very fingers, consuming it entirely in under a second. She just destroyed the kids'…?

"I like her." She commented. "When Ranma comes back, be sure not to screw with her and make her feel at home."

"Comes back…?" Mara's mouthed, her eyes now rapidly blinking. If the situation wasn't already weird enough, the cake was being taken even as she spoke.

"Gave her a key." Hild waved aside the inconsequential detail and picked up the next piece of paper to in a large stack dominating her desk. "Now about that Misaki case…"

The shift in her great leader's focus did nothing for the twitch pulling at Mara's cheek. Hild had evidentially given the kid a key to hell, redeemable any time.

* * *

**R**anma fingered the scroll in her hands, rolling it from one digit to the other as he sat on the roof of the Tendo Dojo. "_I will now defeat you and seal the Yama Sen Ken!_" He pantomimed to himself sarcastically. So if that was actually the case, what was he still doing with it? 

The original plan had been to defeat Kumon Ryu, liberate the Umi Sen Ken's sister school and seal the technique away because of the danger it posed. The first objective in that mission had been accomplished, though the method by which he had done so had been a tad excessive. At first, he had been willing to just put Kumon down, take his ball and go home. But Hild…

That white haired woman had another take on the situation entirely.

Ranma originally planned on teaching Kumon a lesson. Hild advocated the same lesson, but emphasized with a capital 'L'. In fact, her version of a lesson was spelled out in upper-case, bold and underlined for effect.

And the weird thing about it was the woman made sense.

_"So what are you going to do about this whatshisname?" Hild asked as she took a sip of tea. Every movement she made seemed to translate into the barely-there business suit she wore and Ranma struggled not to notice. Besides, it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before… Just never so… _

_Ranma shook himself mentally, forcing his brain onto the new topic. "Jeez, I dunno. Beat him and seal the Yamasen-ken, I guess."_

_The woman sounded somewhat put out. "That's it?" _

_"Uh, yeah?"_

_"Ranma, he's impersonating you and using your curse against you to hold your mother hostage." Hild explained patiently. "He needs to be taught a lesson. A violent, painful lesson."_

_"I'm not so sure..."_

_"No buts." She admonished now. "If you don't make your intentions loud and clear to this fool, he may very well try something similar in the future."_

_Ranma considered the white haired magical girl for a moment. He hadn't quite looked at it that way before and it was obvious that talking was a lost cause. In fact, the situation smacked of Ryoga, now that she mentioned it. _Damn,_ the Saotome mused_. Last thing I need are two Ryogas blaming me for every wrong under the sun…_At least the first one wasn't trying to steal his identity or mother._

_"Okay, I think I see what your sayin'." Ranma admitted, eliciting a satisfied smile from the beautiful lawyer. "'Cides, he needs a lesson in honor."_

_"Definitely." Hild nodded, secretly pleased as she set her tea aside. The kid had been through an amazing amount of hell without her influence on his life and was still surprisingly sane, if horribly naïve. Still, he appeared at very least teachable and was a breath of fresh air in her routine. "That aside, let's hear about this 'curse' of yours."_

_Ranma Saotome shrugged and reached for a nearby glass of water._

Her argument toward that end was a simple, yet highly compelling one, and God help him, he took the advice of a magical girl of all people and buried the bastard.

Literally.

A giant mass of super dense inverted ki might have been overkill, but it had done the job. By the time they had dug Kumon out, the guy was sufficiently cowed not to try anything stupid either in that moment or the future. Ranma's name was once again his own, which unfortunately helped little as to his current dilemma—The Umi Sen Ken and Yama Sen Ken. In part or as a whole, it was an incredibly lethal school, which in turn caused the martial artist to wonder just what had prompted his father to develop it. Akane had taken the thief aspect at face value, but there were just too many inconstancies to ignore. She hadn't even bothered in asking just why a petty thief would need to dispense massive bomb of inverted ki… or why one would need a technique that could cut through stone in a 360' arc just to break into a house.

So what did one do with a highly lethal, incredibly destructive school of martial arts? His own father had urged him to seal it, as had Mister Tendo. Even Akane had looked sufficiently shocked by the display of power and he himself had proclaimed its sealing aloud. But now the advice of a magical girl rang clearly in his ears…

"_What's wrong with you keeping it for yourself?" _She had asked through the course of their conversation a day earlier. _"Besides, it's just another tool. Another tool to use if the other tools don't work."_

And try as he might, he couldn't fault the woman's simplistic logic. It wasn't as if _he_ was going to run around and use it to break into people's houses or steal people's fiancées with it. _He_ was a martial artist. _He_ had a code of honor. Unlike _some _people he knew. Sealing away a valuable and incredibly potent martial arts school not only seemed redundant in that the light of Hild's advice, but seemed downright silly. _Of course_ it was dangerous. But then, so was conjuring elemental tornadoes and dispensing spheres of hard ki. Even slightest pressure to the right part of the body could drop a man in seconds, let alone a martial arts weapon of mass destruction.

"Ranma!" His introspection broken by the use of his name, Ranma leaned over the roofs edge and—

_Sploosh!_

An empty glass bounced off the now female martial artist's forehead, leaving the girl sputtering out the cold water she had all but inhaled. Below her was Akane, recovering from the throw, but turning away suddenly as if nothing had happened. "Whaddya do that for, tomb—Auntie!"

The middle aged dark redhead rounded the corner, her lips curling into a warm smile upon sight of Akane, then a curious look when she found Ranma peeking over the roofs ledge. "Now, Ranko, you should know it's not safe for young girls such as yourself to play on the roof."

Ranma blinked. "Eh, sorry Auntie!"

Nodoka nodded with the apology, as if it were a given. "Now come down here this instant and give your Aunt Nodoka a hug." The younger redhead bobbed once and the girl flipped off the edge, landing neatly before Nodoka in a bow before she was gathered into a hug by the mother. "And you, Akane."

Uncertainty flashed briefly across the girl's face before quickly melting into a smile and stepping into the group hug. It lasted another moment before she released the pair. "Now, have either of you seen my manly son or his father?"

The question might as well have been a martial art kick to the gut and Ranma's spirit withered in that instant. Not that _she_ was that manly man at the moment, oh no. The best she could do was shake her head meekly. _Could always try my luck with the sword_, Ranma grumbled internally. Akane produced a similar, though slightly more energetic shake of her head, eliciting a disappointed frown from Nodoka.

"And I was so hoping to catch them after that unfortunate misunderstanding with that nice Ryu boy."

Ranma winced with the comment and any guilt over going too hard on the imposter evaporated in that instant. _Nice boy?!_ The edge of her manufactured smile twitched as it threatened to buckle outright. _He was an honorless bastard! He held YOU hostage to get to me! He--_

"I do so hope my son is as manly." Nodoka smiled fondly, then looked down at the redhead who had all but frozen. She patted Ranma's head gently. "Ranma may be taken by your cousin, but that Ryu boy seems _perfect_ for you."

Ranma dug into the Amazon soul of ice technique. _Hard_. After being compared to an honorless bastard and enduring the suggestion to marry him, facing the family blade was looking like an increasingly attractive option at the moment. It was all she could do not to crack. "Eh… Thanks Auntie!" She chirped with an enthusiasm that would have blotted out the sun if it weren't so artificial. Her eyes widened suddenly. "Oh! What time is it?! Mister Panda must be hungry! Got to go!"

Both the Saotome matriarch and Tendo sister stared after the girl as she quickly disengaged herself and bounced away, disappearing around the nearby corner. Nodoka held her puzzled countenance a second longer before, looking to Akane with a warm smile. "Don't worry, Akane-chan. We'll find a way around that tomboyish exterior of your cousin's yet."

Akane simply smiled weakly, opting to accompany Nodoka on what was, at the moment, a fruitless search for her manly son.

* * *

"**W**hat was your mother like?" 

Akane Tendo blinked. It was the most unlikely question she would have expected from the martial artist before her, who had paused in his kata to ask the question. While it wasn't entirely unexpected, especially given the events over the last week, her part-time fiancée was hardly one for such public introspection. In some ways, she was actually flattered that Ranma was even asking. In others, the question disturbed memories that were better off left to rest in peace.

The youngest Tendo considered the matter a moment before replying softly, lowering herself to the dojo floor. "Honestly, I was pretty young. She was nice… I remember her playing with me… Picking me up from elementary school." Akane's counterance saddened slightly. "Mostly I remember the hospital."

Ranma dropped to the floor directly in front of the girl, absorbing the experiences intently as she continued. "But there were the fun times too. Picnics. Class projects. Helping out around the house." Akane cocked her head, all but staring through the pigtailed boy sitting before her now. "That was back when Daddy was still teaching."

"Do you miss her?" Ranma asked softly, prompting Akane to study him intently. Had seeing his mother come and go yet again really hit him so hard?

"Occasionally." Akane smiled slightly. "My sisters had it worse though. They were older at the time. But still… At least you have yours."

The rapt attention she had been receiving throughout their stroll down memory lane suddenly darkened, Ranma's rapt curiosity melting into a frown. "I don't have a mother."

Akane blinked as what had started out as an attempted to remind Ranma of what he had began to unravel as quickly as she had pushed it forward. "But Auntie Nodoka---"

"Yeah, _Auntie _Nodoka is right." Ranma's returned bitterly as his mood continued to fall off. "My mom thinks I'm your cousin, 'kane."

"But at least—"

"That she's alive?" Ranma cut in rhetorically. "Yeah, I guess. But I don't know her. I don't even remember her as a kid, let alone with my old man cartin' me around half the world. Now here we are and the only way I can even get close to her is as 'cousin Ranko'." Akane sat speechless for a moment, considering the unspoken point. Which was actually worse? Fond memories of a mother lost or watching her live at arm's length? Ranma continued after a moment of heavy silence, validating the supposition.

"I mean, you've seen the way she looks at me. I'm her pet project. A tomboy in need of her feminine guidance." The martial artist shook his head. "She don't know me and don't see me… And if she did, there's a katana waiting for my neck when she finds out just how manly her son is."

Akane sat in silence. Part of her wanted to rebuke the boy before her outright. He should be thankful his mother was still alive, not gone to an incurable illness. Then there was the part that silently sympathized with her fiancé. Alive or not, it had to be some kind of torture to be so close to the person called mother, yet never be able to interact with her as a son. Throw in a curse and an accompanying death sentence and even she could see why Ranma was brooding. _At least I have closure,_ Akane thought to herself. _He doesn't even have that._

In an uncharacteristic move, Akane leaned forward and cupped Ranma's hands with her own. The boy looked up from the straw tatami with slight surprise, noting the concern on the tendo's face. The moment hung between the pair for a moment…

"Not that I'm worried 'bout it or nothing."

…And was promptly shattered as Ranma opened his mouth. The concern on Akane's face quickly faded to irritation. "Baka."

She stood up and executed a sharp about face with a 'hmmf!' and let herself out of the dojo. Ranma stared after her for several seconds before a slight smile crept across face.

"Kawaii-kun."

* * *

**U**rd, Goddess of the Past Category two, Class two limited sat in the waiting room to administrative hell, occupying herself with a glossy fashion magazine at least three months out of date. Beside her sat a black haired teen who was preoccupied with poking hexagon with a screwdriver. The hexagon itself was made of several different components sporting bundles of wiring, switches and other parts that were more than likely best left unmolested. Urd brushed a lock of white hair away from her face, sighing as the girl made another adjustment. While the waiting area itself wasn't really a gateway to hell itself, the sparkly furnished room and it's out of date literature was certainly trying its best. Even the muzak that filtered over the office PA was stale.

Even through the mind numbing boredom, she knew why she was there. Her and the little squirt had screwed up. Initiating activity with a mortal outside the dispensation of a wish was a no-no. Sure, it was a rule that was bent all the time, but when coupled with their second mistake, couldn't be overlooked. Actually _fighting_ with a mortal was a much bigger no-no. There were circumstances that would allow for the neutralization and memory removal of humans that perceived them, but attacking one without first being attacked first was huge. She be lucky not to be grounded by the time—

"The board will see you now, Urd, Skuld."

Urd broke from her introspection and nodded to the golden haired receptionist behind the reception desk, nudging the teen beside her. Skuld pocketed the hexagon and looked up at her sister with some degree of consternation dancing across her features. Not that the part-time Goddess of Love couldn't relate. It was the girl's first board and chucking high explosives at a mortal was a huge infraction. Only Bell was spared, and she was waiting for news right outside this very office. Urd let loose a weary sigh, stepping by the professionally dressed receptionist and up to the adjacent door.

Might as well get this over with.

She pushed through the door and stepped inside another room only slightly more inspiring than the last in terms of aesthetics, yet infinitely more oppressive in atmosphere. Two empty chairs sat before three curved desks. The center desk was occupied by somebody she knew quite well—long black hair streamed around her sharp facial features and skin-tight clothing that attempted to mix a skirt and a lace vest with revealing results. Peorth acknowledge the pair with a small nod and gestured for them to sit down. To either side of her was a god and another goddess. The god wore a short crop of gray hair and was bare-chested, save the loose vest that hung over a well defined chest. To Peorth's right Urd recognized Cedilla, her shoulder length light blue hair and long chandelier earrings being the most outstanding features on the conservatively dressed goddess. Urd took her seat with Skuld following shortly behind. The god she really didn't know but she had shared drinks with Cedilla on occasion. Peorth was more Belldandy's acquaintance than hers. All three were, of course, rank one-ones.

"Bonjeur, Urd, Goddess of the Past, Skuld, Goddess of the future." The center goddess began the meeting with opening pleasantries. "I wish, of course, our meeting were under more, shall we say, ideal circumstances. The white haired goddess nodded while the teen next to her fidgeted nervously in her seat. Peorth continued. "You do know why you are present before this board?"

Urd was about to answer the largely rhetorical question when the god on her right preempted the response. "Violations of the Mortal Articles of Conduct are very serious offenses, Miss Urd; specifically Book one hundred and twelve, chapter eight, section thirty five."

"We're sorry!" Skuld blurted, bolting . "But she was rude!"

"Rude or not, monemi, you are a goddess and she is not." Peorth chastised gently.

"She's right, squirt." Urd commented in a dull tone. "We screwed up by the numbers."

Skuld slumped down and the goddess Cedilla continued. "While it is heartening that you acknowledge your error in the matter, the situation has greater portent than you realize."

A pit in Urd's stomach developed, one deeper than the pit that had been developing in the waiting room. _Here it comes,_ she mused darkly. _The anvil…_

"Your violation of the Mortal Articles has brought the Mutual Competition clause into play," The light blue haired goddess continued, referencing thick binder on the desk before her. "The mortal in question is now fair game for influence by infernal agents."

The thrust of Cedilla's point became crystal clear in that instant. "Mother."

Peorth nodded at the hissed title. "Truly. It would appear that your mère has taken a direct interest in this one, which is most unfortunate."

Gears within the tanned Goddess' brain began to churn. It didn't make sense. Mortals were a dime a dozen. Her mother had agents to do the legwork. Why would she take an interest in this—

"His name is Ranma Saotome." The god answered her unspoken question, reading from an Yggrisil interface window. "He—"

"He?" Skuld blinked, interrupting the god. "Red was a girl."

"Gender curse." Peorth shook her head, correcting the girl. "Please continue, Adonis."

The god nodded. "Ranma Saotome, age 16, the only child of Genma Saotome and Nodoka Hime, gender, male. Saotome acquired a gender curse at age fifteen while on a training mission to Jusenkyo, China."

"Guess that explains the gender thing." Urd muttered. "Doesn't explain why mother wants him, though."

"We're not entirely sure ourselves, to be honest," Cedilla admitted, adjusting one of her shoulder length earrings. "though his record is impressive enough. Encounters with two demi-gods, a Halfling dragon prince and one, two, three, four…" Her voice trailed off a moment as she counted off the page she was holding, "um, _several_ supernatural entities."

Adonis continued the summary. "Additionally, he suffers from at least three curses, is engaged to no less than six women, one man and just happens to be the heir to a high level school of martial arts."

The rundown left the goddess of the past blinking. Peorth pushed forward with the inquiry. "We were wondering if you had any thoughts as to Hild-sama's interest in this boy."

Urd's expression deadened into a lack of enthusiasim. If the reports were to be believed, the kid- boy or girl –was a damn chaos magnet. "Of course mother is interested in her," The goddess chuckled without mirth. "She's a play toy."

"A… play toy?" Adonis arched an eyebrow.

"Mother gets bored easily." Urd elaborated with a slight sarcastic edge to her words. "I think it's half the reason she pesters us so much. This kid has so much going on around her that Mother can't help but to take an interest."

"So Saotome is… entertainment?" Peorth questioned hesitantly. Being the Daimakaichō's entertainment couldn't be conducive to one's long term health, especially if that person were a mortal.

Urd shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. She'll probably play with her for a bit then get bored and leave her alone."

"Regardless," Adonis inserted. "The Powers That Be have directed we keep a close eye on the situation."

"The board tends to agree that there will be no lasting damage to the boy." Cedilla continued, organizing her notes. "Saotome has a streak of individuality a mile wide and is unlikely to be corrupted by Hild's influence in the short term."

"But…?" Urd posed the question that was all but hanging before her as bait.

"But," The light blue haired goddess continued. "We must _ensure_ that influence remains minor."

"Sounds reasonable." Urd remarked. After all, it was their job to make sure her mother didn't chew on mortals too much, right? The goddess blinked, noting that all three board members were staring at her, prompting her to blink cluelessly at them before realization struck home. "Oh, _no_."

Adonis smiled, his clasped hands at chin level. "Oh, yes. Consider this your next assignment… as well as your punishment."

"Urd, Goddess of the Past, two-two, you are hereby sentenced to terra-firma until such time as the assignment is deemed satisfactorily complete," Peorth pulled a small gavel that had been waiting neglected on her desk for the balance of the meeting, cracking it against the tables surface. "Effective immediately."

Skuld watched Urd open her mouth to protest, only to have her sister disappear in a small puff of smoke. The black haired genius turned back to the waiting board, all eyes now on her person.

"Now, concerning your conduct, Skuld, goddess of the future…"

Skuld gulped with nervous anticipation.

* * *

**Author's Notes;**  
Not much here. Lot of strong reactions in the reviews, especially concerning my tendency to Ranma-chan my fics. For the paranoid, your fears are, of course, justified, though I will be leaning more toward balance in this fic... to a degree. I won't say anymore, but suffice to say, no locks. If you're still reading, ch3 will be up in a day or so. Hope you enjoy the ride.

Thanks to **Metroidvania** for editing services rendering, and all those cool people mentioned in Ch1 for creative brainstorming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hell is a Martial Artist****  
Chapter III**  
By _Ozzallos_

"**A**nd Meledrian is finally making some headway with the Mano girl." Mara reported to a tanned, white haired woman behind an exquisitely carved oaken wood desk, checking off the briefing highpoints from a clipboard as she went. The blond would have been the classic image of a secretary if her long skirt, blouse and business vest weren't black vinyl and, for the most part, skin tight. "Despite the setbacks, he thinks he'll be able to deflower the child within the scheduled timetable."

Hild nodded absently from behind the desk, tapping keys at the insubstantial computer interface before her. "Excellent. How about the vampire?"

"Which one?"

Hild nodded, silently conceding the fact that she dealt with numerous vampires on a regular basis. "The one with Hellsing… What's his name…? Alardo… Aluminum…?"

Mara flipped through several pages of her clipboard before tapping at an entry. "Alucard."

Recognition lit across Hild's features. "Ah, that's the one. Damned if I can't remember every puissant vampire that crosses this desk."

"Lilith advises postponing operations for a decade." Mara continued. "She reports that Asgard's interference is getting more overt."

"Hmmm…" The Grand demoness pursed her lips. "Not that I like it, but I'm patient and Lilith is good. Reassign her in the meantime then. Anything else?"

The demoness first class looked at her clipboard. "You did ask me to remind you about the Saotome boy."

"Oh yes!" A bright smile adorned the Daimakaichō's face and she clapped with delight. "I wonder what trouble she's getting into today?"

Mara blinked. "What makes you think he—_she's_ getting into trouble?"

"Chaos surrounds that child like a coiled spring." She explained, standing up and stepping around her desk. The shiny pink body suit she wore flowed along her like a second skin as she moved. "It would be impossible for her _not_ to get into trouble."

"I… see." The demoness admitted hesitantly while several thoughts vied for her attention. Just what was her mistress' fascination with this child? Why does she refer to a mortal born male as a female? Did she even _want_ to know? "Then if you'll excuse me, I'll be working on my case load…"

"Nonsense." Hild smiled widely, pulling the demoness along by the arm. "Pass it off to Bast. _We're_ off to Nerima!"

* * *

**T**he world is a large place, especially so if you happened to be a hungry five year old child running around without parental supervision. Things are out of reach, strangers are everywhere and the entire experience is, for the most part, simply overwhelming. Most kids would cry. Some of the more adventurous would run around excitedly for a time, then cry. Ranma Saotome, on the other hand simply splashed himself with a cup of cold water and made maddeningly cute faces at the street food vendors, who were all but compelled to give the cute little five year old girl food and snacks. In fact, if they had thought on the matter any further, the tiny redhead bore a striking resemblance to another rather well developed redhead who _also_ frequented their stands on a regular basis. 

Not that such information would have mattered, as their resistances versus cute lost little girls and voluptuous teenage redheads scored well into the negative anyway.

"There we go. Now let's get about finding your par—" One such vendor was closing the lid on a sauce pan, having just given away a stick of octopus balls to the little redhead in question. He turned back to the girl, only to find the spot she had recently stood vacated. "Little girl? Where'd you go?"

_Sucker._ Ranma snorted as she dropped the Umi Sen Ken cloak half a block down range, munching happily on the her ill-gotten gains. Sure she was out to find the mushrooms that would return her to her rightful age, but she couldn't do that on an empty stomach. With any luck, she'd find her batch before she ran into that idiot Ryoga again, denying the terminally lost boy the opportunity to ruin yet another cure. The last ball disappeared and Ranma glance behind her to ensure no well meaning pursuit was in progress when—

"Oof!"

The little girl bounced off something that felt distinctly like a leg and fell back against the concrete with a jolt. Ranma blinked and looked up- a long way up –a very curvy and familiar form. Purple eyes stared curiously back down at here and sunlight cascaded through the waves of white hair. Had none of that tipped the tiny martial artist off to her identity, the star on her forehead was a dead giveaway.

"I'd pay more attention to where you're going, if I were you, little one." The woman said, gingerly taking Ranma's tiny hand into hers and pulling her up.

"Sorry 'bout that Hild." The girl remarked as she regained her footing, causing Hild to blink. The white haired woman increased her scrutiny of the redhead and suddenly broke out into a smile.

"Now this is simply _too_ much." She knelt down to the girl's own eye level, her own glittering with amusement. "And what trouble did you manage to get into this time, hmmm?"

Mara stared. Her senses weren't lying to her. It really was Ranma. But smaller. And five years old. _How in the nine hells?!_ Her mistress certainly hadn't been kidding when she mentioned the kid's chaotic tendencies.

"Feh, magic mushrooms." The five year old stated with an amount of cynicism that no five year old had any right producing. "De-aged me and Ryoga right there on the spot." The girl looked over Hild's shoulder to find the blond staring incredulously. "Oh, hey Mara."

"Ryoga… The pig-boy?" Ranma nodded and Hild chuckled slightly. "You're taking this rather well."

"This ain't nothing." Ranma shrugged. "Pain in the ass, but at least it ain't no ghost cat, dragon boy or new fiancée." The little redhead paused, cocking her head at the woman. "Say, what are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh, we were in the neighborhood." Hild stated in a leisurely manner, returning back to her full height. "Thought we would see how you were doing."

Ranma blinked. Somebody wanted to see how _she_ was _doing_? When did that ever happen in her life? And why wasn't it being accompanied by a mallet, fiancée, curse or all of the above? "Eh, Okay I guess. Just looking around for more of the mushrooms."

"Perhaps we shall help." Hild stated, taking the little girl's hand once more while leaving the child blinking at the woman's generosity.

"We will?" Mara was also blinking at the unexpected display of generosity.

"Of course." The Daimakaichō reaffirmed, leading the little redhead back the way she had come. "Over ice cream."

The martial artists' eye lit up and she eagerly allowed herself to be led back to the ice cream parlor five blocks from whence she came. Mushrooms were, of course, important, but they would still be there when she found them. Besides, a quick stop for an ice cream Sunday couldn't possibly hurt—

"Oh, I see you found your mother, little—arrrurrr_aaaaawwgggrr_..." Ranma's head swiveled to find themselves passing the octopus ball vendor. While the sound that had interrupted his sentence was nearly indescribable, what had caused it was not.

Drool.

And there was no mistaking _what_ was causing it, as the man's eyes took an involuntary tour of the little girl's 'mother' and the tight pink bodysuit that hugged her every curve. Mara in her vinyl secretary's outfit only augmented the effect, and Ranma watched with slight surprise as Hild played her role to the hilt.

"Oh, _thank you_ for finding my little girl!" The white haired woman gushed, stepping up to the cart and leaning over just enough to afford the vendor an excellent view of the half unzipped front and the generous tan of cleavage therein. She took a deep breath and her feminine charms squeezed against the confines of their pink prison. "What can I ever _do_ to thank you?"

What she did for him was enough.

_More_ than enough.

The man behind the cart shuddered and exploded in a geyser of nostril born blood, blowing out his nose with enough force to send him staggering back into a patch of shrubbery that lined the nearby street where the remainder of his suffering was mercifully hidden from view, save a puddle of blood seeping from base of the foliage. Hild smiled at her handiwork, only to be distracted by a small sound at her back. She turned and found the redhead… quivering.

"MMrrrff." Hild frowned as the redhead twitched again. _Is she going to throw up?_ "Hmmmrrff!" She watched as Ranma stifled another shiver. The girl was disgusted? _Oh well_, the grand demoness thought with dismay. _Maybe she's not as fun as I originally thou_—

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!"

Hild's eyes widened as a most unlikely sound exploded from the little girl, who was now on her butt and pointing at the cart. "OOHHH! OH! Ahahahah!! That was great! '_Whatever can I do for you?_' Oh my God! Did you SEE him!?! AHAHAHAAH!!!"

Mara and Hild stared as Ranma laughed herself into tears for next few minutes, plunging back into the depths of hysteria every time she set eyes on the bush and the puddle of blood creeping out from underneath it. It was another minute after that before she had finally gained the composure to stand, though no less amused by the entire incident. Mara tore her eyes away from the laughing child and was equally surprised by what she found on her employer's face.

A smile.

Mara knew first hand that Hild had a number of smiles. The ones she had seen the most of over the last few centuries generally ranged from cold to cruel, with shades of impish deviousness therein. It had been a long, _long _time since she had seen one hovering somewhere above room temperature like the one shone at the cackling little redhead.

"Hehehe… heh…" The little girl burbled, finally regaining some semblance of composure as she looked up at Hild. "That was great. Really, I can manage nose bleeds, but _that_… heheheh heh…"

The comment caused the Daimakaichō to arch an eyebrow as trio continuing their walk down the sidewalk. "And just how often do you use your feminine wiles to get your way, hmmm?"

"Anytime I'm hungry." Ranma shrugged. "Can't help it if suckers want to throw food at me because I'm such a hottie in this bod." Ranma paused, looking down at her body. "Or _was_. I'll have to settle for being painfully cute for now."

Hild chuckled softly. "Indeed."

The girls arrived at their destination minutes later with Mara opening the door for her mistress and guest. From their first step across the threshold of the modest ice cream shop, the fates of the employees there in were sealed as both 'mother' and 'daughter' played the two teenage boys working therein with ruthless precision. If Mara hadn't known any better, she would have sworn the pair had worked out their tactics well in advance, as Hild mesmerized one boy with her beauty and Ranma dazzled the other with layers of sugary cuteness, often taking turns switching between the two in order to further liquefy the males that were already putty in their hands. Her master, Mara could understand. Even with her station, the demoness knew that her mistress found it amusing to meddle in the affairs of mortals… _but the girl_… They were absolutely seamless in their interaction. Hild would flirt, Ranma would pout. Hild stretch enticingly, Ranma would turn her puppy-dog eyes to their 'brilliant' settings.

In other words, it was an absolute slaughter.

The coup de gras came as the trio left the store and Hild accidentally dropped a napkin. Several faces pressed against the glass to observe the event as the white haired temptress bent over to retrieve it, affording ever observer in the shop- employees and patrons alike – an excellent view of her perfectly shaped rump encased in pink lycra that left _absolutely nothing_ to the imagination.

The inside of the ice cream shop promptly exploded crimson, sending the little Ranma into yet another fit of giggling laughter. It was all she could do not to spill the quadruple topping hot fudge banana split sunday she had procured. It was also another five minutes before she could contain herself enough to actually partake of the treat without choking on it as they continued their leisurely stroll down the street. Ranma looked up at the self satisfied woman with a smile. "For a magical girl lawyer, you're pretty fun ta hang around."

Hild snorted. _Magical girl lawyer, indeed_. "Thanks. I think."

"And you're definitely gonna have to show me how to do that once I get back to normal." Ranma smirked, remembering the flailing boys.

"And maybe your boy-side too?" Hild pressed suggestively, hoping to prompt a reaction. The one she got wasn't expected as mild irritation spread across the girl's face.

"Got enough girls tryin' to do that to me already." Ranma shook her head then smiled with the recent memory of the mass bloodletting. "'Cides, I want to be on the givin' end of that for once."

"Ha! I see." Hild nodded with a generous smile. "Perhaps we can arrange something. But for now, what's next?"

"Time to find some mushrooms." Ranma stated, licking excess ice cream from her fingers. "Not exactly sure where to start. I think the originals were found in a forest somewhere."

Hild nodded. "I see. Maybe we can help. Mara?"

Mara looked at her master cluelessly for a good five seconds before realizing just what was being asked of her. "Um, boss?"

"Locate the nearest source of magical mushrooms for Ranma."

It was a simple request, but with a mortal right there in front of them… "Uh, okay." With that, she waved her hand and Ranma's eyes widened as a disembodied transparent screen and keyboard appeared, floating before Hild's assistant. The blond began typing and the little redhead watched as indecipherable hieroglyphics flowed across the screen. Mara arched an eyebrow. "I have thirty sources on file for Nerima _alone_."

Hild put a finger to her lips, thinking. "The nearest ones with age altering properties?"

"Let's see…" Mara keyed in some more data, coaxing a response from the floating interface. "Two sources. The first is in a Chinese restaurant called—"

"—The Neko Han Ten." Ranma shook her head, clearly irritated now. Mara simply nodded dumbly. "Figures the old hag was holding out on me."

"You can always take them from this... 'old hag'." Hild suggested, only to watch Ranma shake her head.

"I'd be hard pressed to beat her on my best day, let alone like this." Ranma admitted somewhat edgily, then focused back on Hild. "She's the one that taught me the Hiryu Shoten Ha I used against your daughter."

"Formitable." Hild pointed out, earning Ranma's nod.

"Exactly. Either way, screw 'em." The little girl bit, amusing Hild with the vulgar language being produced by what amounted to be a small child. The redhead turned back to Mara. "Where's the other one?"

The demoness tapped a few more keys. "Looks like 'Tendo School of Indiscriminate—"

"You've _got_ to be kidding me. Thought we destroyed those…" Ranma frowned, then nodded to herself. "Yeah, me and Ryoga vaporized those thing in our fight. You sure that's right?"

Hild cocked her head, then turned to her demonic assistant. "Mara?"

"Right." The blond nodded, tapping at the transparent keyboard. "Switching to real time."

The screen's hieroglyphics blinked out and was replaced by a picture. It took a moment for Ranma to realize what the picture was. It was obviously a house. Decent sized courtyard. Even a dojo? No _way… _

"Whoa…" Ranma breathed as the picture zoomed down on the property. It was the Tendo dojo. Not _just _the Tendo Dojo, either, the little girl amended. It was the dojo _now_, plainly evidence by the cars moving to and fro on the streets around the compound. A pulsing red dot appeared on the house itself, overlaid on what Ranma instantly recognized as Akane's bedroom. _She had more?!_

Hild watched the little girl's reactions flash between amazement to disbelief. There was no doubt that there was some measure of recognition in her features as well. "I take it you know where this one is as well?"

"I _live_ there." Ranma grumped, tearing her eyes away from the image as a pedestrian passed them by without the slightest glance. A small part of her wondered why the floating magical computers wasn't attracting more attention. "'Kane's holding out on me."

"Fiancee…number one?" Hild struggled to recall the fact from their last conversation, earning a nod.

"Yeah, that's the one. Not sure whether I should be pissed that she's puttin' me through this or thankful that she kept a few in reserve." The little girl admitted, kicking a stone at her feet.

"You _did_ destroy the last ones." Mara pointed out as the trio continued walking, and the comment instantly earned a subtle, leaded glare from her Mistress that was gone almost as quickly as she perceived it. The demoness got the message, however.

_Shut. up_.

"Sounds like a spiteful thing to do, personally." Hild commented off hand, earning Ranma's attention. "You've been running around for the better part of the day now on a wild goose chase."

The girl sniffed with the slightest measure of contempt. "Probably tryin' to get back at me for destroyin' her dresser."

A small giggle almost escaped the Grand Demoness' lips. The girl herself was fertile ground. _Very_ fertile ground. So much so that she couldn't the woman but to plant seeds around her. "You could ruin her payback easily enough."

"How's that?" Ranma was stopped now, clearly interested.

Hild smiled internally. _Nothing wrong with a little harmless payback, right Ranma?_ "Magical girl lawyers just happen to have access to powerful magic.

Again, the little girl surprised her. Instead of jumping at the offer, she frowned slightly. "Eh, I'm not so sure."

Hild blinked curiously. It was such obvious bait, and she was passing? "And why not?"

"Magic doesn't like me." Ranma explained werily. "Mushrooms, swords, noodles, springs... doesn't matter. It all end badly."

_Such fertile ground,_ the Grand demoness rejoiced internally! The child was a veritable playground of manipulation! _Fun, fun, fun!_ "Ranma, you can trust me. You're the best at what you do, correct?" The little girl nodded. "Well, trust me when I say I'm the best at what I do."

"You can re-age me?"

There was the slightest glimmer of hope in her voice and Hild nodded confidentially. "Imagine fiancée number one's surprise when you walk in on her completely normal."

A smile crept across Ranma's lips and Mara could barely suppress a roll of her eyes. The girl-boy was just too easy for his own good. The smile disappeared. "Can ya get rid of my curse too?

_Predictable,_ Hild thought, shaking her head. "One thing at a time. Jusenkyo is very powerful magic."

The small martial artists seemed to deflate slightly, but otherwise kept her chin up, as if she were expecting the answer. The fact that Hild hadn't given her a real answer did not go unnoticed by Mara, however. Jusenkyo _was_ very powerful magic. Sacrifice reactors were always potent sources and curses born from them were all but impossible to break normally, especially when the catalyst itself was well over three thousand years old. That didn't, however, address the fact that Hild could have broken the curse with a mere thought. Her mistress had simply let the girl assume otherwise.

"Now hold still, Ranma. This won't hurt a bit."

Mara shook her head slightly and leaned against the wall at her back, watching as the Daimakaichō manipulated her newest play toy.

* * *

**A**kane Tendo sat on the sofa of her living, a book propped on her chest for easy reading. Not that the homework assignment in question was easy reading, mind you, but comfort counted for a lot, especially when there were two de-aged super powered martial artists running around the house. Luckily, that particular problem had taken care of itself as both Ranma and Ryoga had gone off in search of the reagent that would return them to normal… One that also just happened to be tucked safely away in her room now that the boys had seen the original mushrooms destroyed. All of that meant one thing and one thing only… 

Peace and quiet.

Just the right environment for—The middle Tendo blinked as a shadow fell across the ambient light she read by, causing her to look up and--- "Ranma!" The blue eyed redhead stared at her with a smirk plastered across her face. Not only was it Ranma, but she had been returned to her original height. "What!? How?!"

Ranma shrugged, increasing her smirking to insufferable levels. "Don't worry 'bout it. Was just on my way to get some hot water."

"But you--!" Akane stared as the girl turned away for the kitchen. "How in the world did you change back!?"

"That," Ranma drawled, clearly amused with the sister's flustered state. "Is a secret!"

"Baka!" Akane bit back with annoyance. "The only mushrooms were under the kitchen table! I moved them to my—"

The girl's eyes popped open with the admission and Ranma threw on an innocent face. "What was that?"

"I mean--! That is--!" Akane squirmed under the innocence of the redhead's scrutiny until the martial artist own self control broke, and the hints of mischievous smile began to manifest. It was also an unfortunate mistake on Ranma's part, as the youngest Tendo observed its formation and jumped to an entirely wrong conclusion. "You--! YOU BAKA!"

Ranma took a step back, the smile giving way to confusion under the force of Akane's condemnation. "What? Hey! I'm the one who should be mad here!"

Akane was off the couch now, burning her part time fiancée down with a smoldering glare. "You were in my room again, you pervert!!!"

"What are you talking about?!" Ranma's own self control dissolved entirely at the accusation. "Why would I want to get into the room of an uncute tomboy anyway?!"

"That's where the mushrooms are!"

The redhead's cheek twitched. "The mushrooms that you hid from me!"

"For your own good, pervert!" she snapped. "You and Ryoga destroyed the last batch!"

Ranma ground her teeth together in a desperate bid to maintain control. "So your idea of 'our own good' is to let us think we're trapped as five year olds for the rest of our lives?!"

Akane's mouth opened but stalled under the weight of the accusation. Her argumentative side kicked back in to fill the void. "It's what you get for destroying my dresser!"

Ranma was about to unleash her rebuttal when Hild's coaching came to mind. The thought produced a impish grin within her psyche, one that abruptly put out her righteous indignation over Akane's tantrum. Anger disappeared as if it were quenched by ice, and the cold smirk resurfaced.

"Before you go blamin' me for everything under the sun, ya might wanna check your room first."

With that, the redhead turned on a heel toward the kitchen, leaving Akane Tendo steaming in equal parts anger and befuddlement. _What could possibly be so important in her room? The scene of the crime? The ultimate proof of Ranma's guilt?_ The sister gave her fiancées back one last glare before stalking off just to find out what she had meant.

* * *

"_**B**ut I made it for you, Ranma!"_  
"_Around back!"_  
"_No, over there!"_  
"_It's getting away!"_

The Daimakaichō of hell itself floated in open air high above the chaos below as its occupants scurried around after 'it'. While she had not had a direct hand in 'its' creation, she had certainly gotten the ball rolling with a few off hand suggestions to the boy-girl; her newest pastime. Hild burbled with delight. What was happening below her had been _quite_ unexpected. After all, she had been aiming for something with more angst, not _this_… but then, it was what made the Saotome child so appealing to begin with. She was just so unpredictable!

_CRaaaAASH!_

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt." Mara winced, floating off to Hild's right. Her Mistress was certainly right about one thing… This kid was entertaining enough. The demoness glanced over her shoulder. "What do you think, Urd?"

The Goddess of the Past favored the pair with a bland look, ignoring the chaos below. "Don't get too carried away, Mother."

"_Grab it! Grab it!"_  
"_Don't make fun of my cooking!"_  
"_OW!"_  
"_I'm ordering out. Anybody want Italian?"_

"Now, now. I hardly had a major roll in this." Hild gestured to the commotion below.

"No," Urd returned dourly. "You just made a _suggestion_ or two."

The grand demoness smiled brightly. "Is that so wrong?"

"No worse than using high powered love potions on hapless mortals." Mara pointed out with a malicious grin, causing Urd's cheek to twitch.

"Like mother, like daughter." Hild followed up with satisfaction.

"_No! Left! LEFT!"_  
"_I've got it!"_  
"_RANMA!"_  
"_It's adapting, Tendo!"_

"No," The goddess's gaze narrowed sharply on her parent. "I'm _nothing_ like you, mother. You're petty, vindictive, cruel and callous."

The words were like a slap to the face, drawing Hild's attention from the events below. "Urd-chan…"

"Save it." The daughter bit harshly. "You use those around you for your own selfish gain… Even those closest to you."

Hild blinked. And blinked again, turning momentarily to consider the chaos below, then her own daughter with impassive mask. The moment hung heavily in the air between them before breaking. She turned on Mara abruptly with a frown. "I'm bored. Let's go."

The Daimakaichō was gone with the flick of a wrist, exploding in a small flash of fire. The resultant cloud of smoke drifted lazily into the dusk sky. Mara stared at the space her Mistress had previously occupied for a moment, then over to Urd. The demoness shrugged and was instantly gone herself, leaving the part-time Goddess of Love to hang in the sky alone while far below, one martial arts heir contemplated the scene above him…

"_Again! Hit it again!"_  
"_Corner it!"_  
"_Eyes front, boy!"_  
"_Ranma!"_

…before being attacked once more by Akane's apology.

* * *

**Author's Notes;**  
No, I'm really NOT this fast. In case I haven't mentioned it (which i haven't), five chapters are thus complete so far. Well, 4.5, but who's counting, right? Again, I was going to hold off until complete, but two things you should know about me: 1) I'm impatient when it comes to my releases. 2) I have the attention span of a fly. And 3) I love Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch® Ice Cream. You'll thank me for that last point at some later date. 4) There were extenuating circumstance instigating the early release of this fic. 

On a side note I received THIS wonderful review: _"I really hope you keep your promise to not screw him with yet another locked as a female story. I really like most of your stories, but your obsession with his females side is tiresome."_

My dear anonymous sir, do you realize how much you TEMPT me? Everybody hoping for Ranma to at least retain some measure of masculinity in this fic should grab a cricket bat and beat this person down. And yes. I do have a marked tendency to Ranmachan fics. Would you like to know why? Tough, I'll tell you all anyway. Because while I absolutely love the series and the concept, the amount of potential lost in such a wonderful plot mechanic is tragically epic. Rumiko touches upon it ever so briefly in the first two books, whereupon you find next to nothing of it moving forward to 38. Instead, that wonderful plot device which she ever-so-occasionally touches upon is used as little more than a comedy bludgeon throughout the rest of the series. It literally leaves me ACHING to explore the aquatransexual dynamic in depth, along with the physical and mental aspect on such a deeply flawed individual such as Ranma.

Okay, I am now apparently ranting.

But seriously, Mister anon... And for your own good. I'm trying... I'm really REALLY TRYING... BUT IT'S ALL GOING PURPLE...AND I CAN'T SEE THEM ANY MORE...eh... yeah. Till part 4. And thanks to Metroidvania and those great peeps in one again. Any errors left over after all that are my responsibility alone. See "Things you should know about me 1 and 2".


	4. Chapter 4

**Hell is a Martial Artist**  
By Ozzallos

**Chapter 4**

**M**ara, Demoness First class unlimited stepped tentatively into her boss's office, ensuring that she mad no sudden movements in order to attract attention to herself. Despite her care, her mistress's purple eyes snapped up, looking up from her desk and on to her with what could only be the promise of pain should her actions displease the woman.

"_What?" _

Mara unfurled the scroll in her hands carefully. The last week had literally been hell for her since her boss's last encounter with her daughter, and everybody was walking around on eggshells in fear of irritating her further. The last demon who had done so had ended up in a cast iron cage suspended above the lava pits of lower Nephirum. It didn't seem like much of a punishment until one remembered that those cages would literally glow orange, as the superheated updrafts caressed the bars. Suffice to say, it was a barbeque in the worst sense. That in mind, Mara gingerly handed Hell's mistress the parchment.

"The Onixya contract."

Purple eyes held hers for another moment, as if judging whether the disruption were worthy of punishment before they flicked down to the scroll, scanning it. "Standard powers to take over the world stuff. You interrupted me for _this_?"

Mara's eyes widened. The threat was clear. "Special case, Mistress. She's a dragon."

The white haired woman arched an eyebrow and took a closer look at the paper. "Azeroth too. Hmm…" Hild pursed her lips in contemplation. "Okay then, standard contract. Increased influence, special powers, immortality, etc, etc… But let's really stick it to her in the fine print."

Mara blinked. "How so?"

"The immortality is always a good place to start." Hild commented, fingering the contract. "Let her be able to resurrect herself, only to be killed again and again by hapless adventurers until the term of the contract expires. Something like that."

The demoness' mouth dried. That was a particularly cold way to go about it. Not only did they benefit from the carnage the silly little dragon caused, but they got to torture her for nearly five hundred years, after which her soul was theirs. Not that she wasn't known to have done it before, just this entire week had shown Hild's vicious nature quite clearly.

_Thanks, Urd,_ she scowled mentally. Nothing like the scorn of a daughter to send her boss into a foul mood.

"Are you still here?"

Mara's cheek twitched as the question snapped her back to the reality before her… And the potential molten iron cage in her future. _Think of something, think of something…_

_Beep!_

The menacing purple eyes darted away from her to focus on the two dimensional image of a pink haired woman floating before her. "Hild-sama?"

"Hmm?" The Great Demoness responded somewhat despondently. If the secretary was nervous, she managed not to convey it across the video link.

"A Mister Saotome here to see you."

The purple eyes blinked, and Mara watched as they lost a good measure of their hostility. "Send her in, of course."

The door clicked open only seconds later and a head popped through the doorway, looked around, then smiled, finding the familiar visages of Hild and Mara occupying the space. The black haired boy admitted himself fully into the office. "Eh, hope you don't mind if I take ya up on your offer to hang out."

"Of course not." Hild returned brightly, rising from her chair and stepping out from around her desk. The action, of course, revealed the pink and black one piece sling whose 'V' disappeared into the confines of a tight miniskirt that hugged at the woman's hips. She noted that the action hardly produce the stares she was expecting. While the Daimakaichō was sure she could break the boy if she truly desired, his stated resistance to feminine charms apparently wasn't exaggeration and she hardly had the inclination to test it at the moment, anyway.

"And what brings you here today? Legal services?"

The purple eyes twinkled and Ranma took notice of the joke with a chuckle. "Nah, just lookin' to take a break is all; see how you and Mara are doin' and all that."

"A break?" Mara leaned on the desk, noting the wording with idle curiosity. Not that she was truly interested in what the kid had to say, but as long if it kept her boss' train of through off cages dangling above lava pits, she was willing to listen to the boy read War and Peace… in Latin.

_Backwards._

"Yeah, rough week." The pigtail boy admitted. "Mom came by and almost chopped my head off."

"Ouch." Hild winced. "If it's any consolation, my week hasn't been so spectacular either."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I kinda figured that last fight you and Urd had probably didn't sit well."

The Grand Demoness blinked. "You… saw that?"

"Well, yeah." Ranma shrugged. "At least what I could between dodging mallets and Kawaii-kun's food." Hild giggled with the memory of the blob of noodles racing around the Tendo compound. Even Mara spared a slight chuckle. "But yeah. Didn't look, eh, pleasant."

"It… wasn't." Hild replied hesitantly, but managed to keep her smile. "Old issues between daughter and I."

"Yeah, can't say me and my old man get along the best either." Ranma commented. "But I don't see you wrappin' your kid in fish sausage and throwin' her into a pit of starving cats, either. Maybe we can work out a trade?"

"Ha!" Hild guffawed at the decidedly round-about compliment. "I don't think your father would last a week around my daughter's temper."

"You'd be surprised how much trouble my old man can get into… and _out_ of." Ranma snorted with shared amusement. "God knows how much of it he's passed off on me."

"God indeed." Hild chuckled, propping herself up on the edge of the desk. "And then your mom comes by…"

"And finds out 'Ranko' is a… _growing _girl." He finished, rolling his eyes. "Took me _shopping_."

"Growing girl?" Mara cocked her head, missing the focus of the pigtailed boy's words entirely.

"Water?"

Hild reached around her desk, proffering her guest a crystal glass, which he promptly upturned upon himself. The pitch of her voice instantly changed, and she jabbed a thumb at her chest. "Mom took me out bra shopping."

"That doesn't sound so bad." Hild commented innocently, yet fully aware of the implications such shopping held for the boy.

"I guess not." Ranma admitted, setting the glass aside on the end table next to the leather sofa she sat upon. "Got to be with mom, even if I had to play it as Ranko. Even found a couple —eh... never mind that. Needless to say, the water found me and it got ugly."

"I could imagine." Hild nodded, trying to suppress the mischievous grin that threatened to break out across her face. Thankfully, a millennia of self control helped her keep the concerned mask in place. "Bra shopping and a water curse would tend to make things problematic."

Ranma stared, speechless. Not only had the white haired woman correctly perceived the problem, there was no condemnation accompanying the perception. In Hild's eyes, she wasn't a pervert, nor was she a cross dresser. She was a victim of circumstance and acknowledge as thus, nothing more, nothing less.

It was… nice.

For once.

"So I assume water found you at the worst possible moment." Hild continued, feigning obliviousness to the girl's reaction. _Now what can I do to have the most fun of this? _The Daimakaichō grinned deviously from the window of her own thoughts. _Your mother is a manliness freak. Your father a martial arts obsessive idiot. Your fiancée accuses you of perverseness, and _you_ are all alone in it…_

"That's about it." Ranma recovered from her stunned moment, sighing. "Mom saw me and spent most of the day runnin' after me with that damn katana of hers. Thought her manly son was a cross dresser."

"I hardly see how." Hild nodded sympathetically. _What sort of chaos could we wrap around you if we got you to accept your female, aspect, little one? Oh, that would be such grand entertainment!_ "You're a boy with a girl curse, not a boy with a fetish for female clothing."

"Try tellin' her that." Ranma frowned, but couldn't help but to be pleased with the fact that there was somebody who finally understood the crap she had to deal with. "Almost got me more than once, too."

Mara, in the meantime, stood well off to the side and very, _very _still. She had been the Daimakaichō's right hand demon for the last couple of millennia and knew the signs. She was _scheming,_ working some invisible angle with the boy-girl in order to take her games to the next level. The demoness knew that after a week of anger and frustration, being in the Ruler of hell's grasp was absolutely the last place anybody with a clue wanted to be, and poor Saotome was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

_But then, better her than me_, Mara decided easily. Whatever her boss was planning for her toy, it was probably for the best that the child was sacrificed to Hild's interests; for the greater good and all that.

"Well then," Hild hopped off the desk, holding the martial artist's gaze. _Gently now…_ "It would seem as if we're both in the same boat; daughter and I, mother and you. What ever shall we do about it?"

"Feh, hide." The redhead chuckled, eliciting a smile from the white haired magical girl lawyer in turn.

"I've been doing that all week." Hild shook her head. "Hiding in ones work gets old. I say we have some fun."

Ranma cocked her head, clearly interested. There was a distinct lack of fun in her life, on average. "Watcha got in mind?"

The Daimakaichō's smile turned downright impish. "Let's make people _explode._"

* * *

Ranma Saotome, currently heiress of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, peered around nervously. Around her were all things feminine in nature. Bra, panties, dresses… It wasn't the same store her mother had taken her to, but in Ranma's mind, there was no functional difference. She glanced at Hild, attempting to keep the consternation clear of her face.

"Look, Hild. I ain't so sure…" The redhead glanced over to the older magical girl, who had changed from her ultra revealing attire to a more publicly appropriate, yet still revealing. It consisted of tight pink and black snake-skin pants, a mid drift tee and a pair of pink stilettos. Between the hip hugging pants and the midriff shown copious amounts of tan skin, while a dangling jeweled piercing dangled from her belly button. It swayed in time with her hips, all but hypnotizing nearly every male she had passed on the way through the department store.

"Nonsense." The woman waved her doubts away as she led Ranma down an aisle while Mara followed close behind. "Proper attire is a necessity if one is to make heads explode effectively."

"Right, I got that." Ranma nodded, still apprehensive. "It's the water. I've seen it roll uphill ta get me and the last thing I need is another incident like the one on Saturday. Knowing my luck, Mom's probably standing outside the store with that katana of hers right now."

_So much material to work with in this child's life,_ Hild mused as she subtly observed her charge. _Taking her shopping for women's clothing in and of itself would be counter productive. Teaching her the art of making men hemorrhage for comedic value, however… And we'll definitely stay away from the topic of being seen as a sex symbol in the process…_

"I wouldn't worry too much." Hild replied, breaking from her introspective scheming. "I'm using my meager abilities to dampen that particular aspect of the curse."

"I guess." Ranma returned with outward skepticism. Internally, the fact that she could just remain in any one form for the space of five minutes pleased her to no end. "Still not thrilled about bras."

Hild chuckled. "Who said anything about bras, little one?"

Ranma blinked. She wasn't going to be forced into a bra? No water? This shopping trip was actually looking better with every passing second! _Yeah, okay, it's for chick clothes, _the redhead churned mentally_, but what she was going to do with it… Priceless! _

The aisles passed and the clothing began to change as Hild led the redhead through the store, starting first with mainstream fashion, dresses and formal wear before melting into the styles Ranma's guide wore. The martial artist glanced around with a puzzled look, prompting Hild to occupy the girl's thoughts before she could even think of becoming nervous. "Producing nosebleeds is a good place to start. Very admirable for one self taught, but to produce bloodbath, you'll need to take your technique to the next level."

Ranma nodded, her full attention being focused by the word 'technique' and the lavish praise accompanying it.

"In this case, bras are counter productive to our purpose," The white haired woman continued instructionally. "And as a martial artist, you're not here to win a fashion contest. You're here to explode heads." Hild could practically see the girl's mental process churning, taking notes with every word. _And in the process, become every man's wet dream, _she cackled mentally. "Clothing is a tool toward this end. While your current styling is definitely becoming of you, it does little to display your _full _potential."

Mara watched Ranma soak up her Mistress' words, noting how easily Hild bypassed the martial artist's normal aversions femininity by layering her lesson with martial arts buzzwords and complimentary praise. Mara simply shook her head as the Grand Demoness continued her explanations. _Give her a few weeks and she'll have the kid teasing men in a sheer micro bikini, or worse. _The blonde's thoughts were interrupted as a black haired woman in a smart grey and black business suit stepped onto their aisle, adjusted her glasses with a smile.

"Ah, Hild-sama, it's a pleasure to service you once again." The stranger bowed low, giving Ranma a decent idea of just how much respect she was a affording them.

Hild merely nodded back with an easy smile. "And how is business, Reiko-chan?"

"Outstanding." Reiko replied, her eyes darting over to the redhead at the woman's side. "I would thank you once again for upholding your end of our… _negotiations_. It has proven extremely… fruitful." She turned fully to Ranma now, who was picking up the subtle layers the conversation held, but had little clue as to what they contained. "I am familiar with Hild-sama and her assistant, but I'm afraid I missed your name?"

"Saotome. Ranma." The martial artist offered, and was mildly surprised as Reiko dipped into another low bow.

"A pleasure to be of service, Saotome-sama." She replied, then turned her undivided attention back to Hild. "If there is anything you need, want or require, our entire store and its staff are her to serve you in _any_ way, shape or form."

Ranma was left blinking, looking back at her tutor. Just how much pull did Hild have as a magical girl lawyer, anyway?

"Of course it is." Hild nodded, as if the woman's statement were a given. "Perhaps later. For now, Ran-chan and I have some shopping to do."

"Then by your leave?" the black haired woman asked, to which Hild simply waved her away. She was gone moments later, turning on a heel and walking back into the depths of the store.

Ranma stared, then returned to Hild. "Just who was that, anyway?"

"That was the manager of Asakusa." Hild replied, turning to a rack of clothing at her back. I merely helped her become the number one high class boutique in Japan." She pulled a tiny tee from the stand, inspecting it. "Now, do you happen to know your sizes?"

"Got to know those a _loooong_ time ago." Ranma rolled her eyes, prompting a chuckle from the woman.

The tanned woman held the thin silk top she had picked out to her chest, as if to size it herself. "Good. Then let's start right here."

* * *

"Hips, child. Remember your hips."

It was a sight that threatened to stop traffic both pedestrian and automotive as three females made their way through downtown Tokyo on foot. One of the women was blonde, but loaded down with numerous shopping bags and thus largely irrelevant to the gawking bystanders. The other two leading her, however, were absolute goddesses.

Well, not quite.

While Hild was a supernatural being, she was definitely _not_ a goddess. The woman was wearing the same thing she had started their shopping trip with and she seemed to glide sensually down the sidewalk, her lithe frame swaying in a manner that was guaranteed to attract the attention of ever male who happened to be turning her way. Walking next to her was a shorter, though no less spectacularly endowed redhead sporting nearly the same fashion; that being a pastel blue star midriff with skin tight leather jeans and jeweled belt that hung off her hips, shifting enticingly as the girl walked. Black heels accompanied the outfit, ensuring that any attention that left her prominent braless assets wandered all the way up her well-toned legs. Ranma shifted her movement slightly in compliance with Hild's direction and the demoness smiled down at her charge.

"Much better."

The martial artist feigned obliviousness to the attention they were receiving and instead looked over to her mentor with an unholy eagerness twinkling in her blue eyes. "Now?"

Hild smiled in kind. "Not yet. Wait until the traffic light turns green."

The trio only had to wait another minute before cross traffic began to flow through the intersection. Ranma cast another glance at the woman. "How about now?"

"Now."

Ranma 'accidentally' dropped the bag in her hand, feigning surprise and proceeded to bend down and pick it up the way Hild had showed her in the store. The pigtailed martial artist had always been a quick study and by the time her hand reached the bag, her profile was perfect to incite mass destruction. A horn blared and moments later while the screech of tires was accompanied by the crunch of metal. Several nearby pedestrians instantly hemorrhaged through the nose, sending them either stumbling into the ground or a nearby wall. More horns and the inside of a car exploded in crimson, though its occupant had hit nothing. Hild grinned evilly, bending down.

"Let me help you with that, child."

It took paramedics the good part of a half an hour to arrive on scene of what could only be described as a blood bath. Cars were piled up, people unconscious and blood was splattered everywhere across the intersection. The police reports helped little in piecing together the carnage that occurred, as those still conscious were found to be mumbling incoherently. Occasionally, something was muttered about 'goddesses', but that was largely chalked up to blood loss and trauma.

Meanwhile, half a mile away…

"BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!" A red head cackled manically. "That was the best thing I've seen all week! Oh, now I see why chicks do it all the time! It's HILARIOUS!"

Hild grinned beside her, but for an entirely different reason. _Not quite, little one… Not quite…_ "You catch on quickly. Keep practicing and we may be able to begin advanced training."

The burbling laughter ceased immediately and the girl's head swiveled on target. "There's more?"

"Of course!" Hild replied. "Posing is fine and all, but when you can achieve the same effect by merely walking by, that takes a master in supreme control of ones self."

Images of Ryoga exploding before her very eyes danced before around her and the demoness couldn't help but to admire her handiwork. Despite her strong inclinations toward masculinity, there was no doubt that the girl harbored a certain pride when it came to _her_ appearance, and pride was one of the tools that Hild was well familiar with. Ranma knew she looked good and took pains to do so when there was sufficient reason.

The Daimakaichō smiled mentally. _All I'm doing is providing that sufficient reason through comic relief_. Of course, she had to be subtle about it. One misstep would bring those strong willed defenses up and she would be hell to work with afterward, but that was what made the game so exciting. So far, Ranma seemed all but oblivious to connection between their fun and the seductive nature of the game, and Hild was inclined to keep it that way in favor of allowing it to sneak up on the boy-girl over time. One day, she would realize just how far she was taking her newest hobby and it would all catch up to her…

Would she accept herself? Indulge in the chase? Survive the frenzy of fiancées and family once they found out about her new pastime? Maybe he/she would meltdown under the pressure. The Grand Demoness twiddled with delight. The possible outcomes were endless!

Still, the steps forward would have to be careful and measured…

"But that is a lesson for another day." Hild dissuaded the eager blue eyes that held her. "Give the steps you've learned some practice and we'll pick up where we left off some other time."

Ranma nodded eagerly, all but oblivious to the attention they were receiving at their new location. The rapid bob of her head did indescribable things to her braless bosom… And the people around them, whose noses were already beginning to trickle with a slight crimson. Hild nodded to herself in a self satisfied manner. If the girl within didn't snap under the pressure, there was no doubt that the redhead could be honed into absolutely lethal weapon of femininity. Ranma would take a master to forge without being destroyed, but then, she was such a master. And even if she was destroyed, the ride to that point- as well as the outcome itself -would be highly amusing.

The Daimakaichō chortled. Either way it was a win-win scenario.

"Mara, time to depart." The blonde nodded with her master's words and began to unload the bags she had been carrying at Ranma's feet. "Places to go, people to see and all that."

"I still ain't so sure about all this." The redhead frowned, staring at them. "I can't just let you give me all that for free, ya know?"

"And, exactly how dear child, are you going to stop me?" Hild smiled, patting the shorter girl on the head. "Be seeing you!"

The white haired woman snapped her fingers and was gone in a poof of fire than nobody around them seemed to notice. Mara was gone seconds later in a similar matter leaving the girl alone on the sidewalk surround by bags of clothing and plenty of admirers.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**  
As this story continues, there will undoubtedly be concerns on just how far it will journey into the depths of Ranma-chandom… I swear that's a word. First, I label this fic in the category of 'balance'. it will contain a lot of Ranma-chan because that is Hild's vehicle of amusement at the moment. That said, and without giving away plot, I will attempt to maintain some form of balance here. Not guaranteeing 50/50 here, but it won't be 100 percent '–chan' either.

yeah, it's a little short, but that's how it was divided out before hand. Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.

Nothing really of mention here. Special thanks to Metroanime as always and those other people in part one ;)

It's late. No more notes. Thanks for reading! You all rock :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Hell is a Martial Artist**  
Part 5  
_By: Ozzallos _

"**G**ood Afternoon!"

Akane Tendo turned away from her studies to the cheery greeting find her fiancée stepping into the bedroom with a bright smile on her face …Which was odd in and of itself. Normally any smiles that were found on her fiancées face were arrogant smirks. This one was happy.

_Carefree?_

"Ranma?" Said martial artist was also a couple days ahead of schedule, further intriguing the youngest Tendo. "If you just came back from your trip—HEY!"

The redhead had apparently paid her little heed beyond the initial greeting and had found her dresser drawer. She slid the drawer open easily and began to dig through the contents, quickly emptying it of every bra and panty it contained. Akane could only stare. What the….

Ranma let out an air-headed sigh. "No sexy clothes… And the bras are too small!"

Akane's cheek twitched violently and called her ki mallet into her grasp on reflex. The youngest Tendo swung for the fences on the seemingly unaware redhead only to connect with solid air. Ranma dodge on sheer reflex.

"Hey! What are you doing!?" Ranma leapt away from the next swing, causing Akane to snarl.

"That's my line!" The dark blue haired teen wound up for another swing and suddenly found her hand missing the mass of her mallet.

"STOP IT NOW!"

_WHACK!_

Akane looked for the mallet and found it Ranma's hand. _Another_ Ranma's hand. Properly disarmed and now faced with two Ranma-chan's, Akane's anger at her intruding fiancée evaporated. The first redheaded girl was now out cold, while the second had procured a length of rope, tying up the first while the commotion itself had attracted Kasumi and Nabiki.

Akane continued to stare straddling the line between insulting embarrassment and sheer curiosity. Nabiki commented on the latter first. "What in the_world?_"

"They're almost like twins!" Kasumi observed cheerfully. One Ranma-chan was cute. Two Ranma-chan's with grumpy pouts were even cuter.

"Care to explain this one, Saotome?" Nabiki asked with an insufferable smirk, causing the unbound redhead to sigh wearily.

"Trip was going fine until that storm last night." Ranma shook her head. "The Panda found this mansion and the old guy who lived there was nice enough to take us in."

"I hear a 'but' coming…"

Ranma nodded while her doppelganger returned to the consciousness, throwing an even more grumpy and insufferably cute glare at her captor. "Old guy forgot to mention he had a cursed mirror in the living room."

"Oh my, another curse for Ranma?"

The martial artist fought to keep the twitch from pulling at her cheek. "_Yeah…_ so that's what happened."

"A mirror?" Nabiki asked in a doubtful tone. "A cursed mirror, no less. Honestly, Saotome, what are we going to do with you?"

"Do you understand?" Ranma barely paid heed to the middle Tendo's sarcasm, turning back to the tied up clone. "You can't go around pretending to be me—"

…And instead found a fat wooden Tanuki in her place.

"DAMMIT!" Ranma hopped up, immediately scrambling out of the room in hot pursuit.

Nabiki chortled as the red flash fled the scene. "Yep! That's a perfect copy!"

Akane fumed beside her, looking around her room and the undergarments the clone had scattered about. Its comment about her sizes made the youngest Tendo's blood boil.

"_Exactly_ like him…"

* * *

**M**ara, demoness first class of misfortune smiled as she read the report handed to her but one of her lower ranked Succubi staff. She sighed as if the report were inconsequential; browsing the relevant information with a bored expression, then dismissed the Succubi slash secretary with a nod. The short skirted, black stiletto clad seductress turned on a heel that was all but sure to drill a hole into the ground and returned to her duties while a slow, mischievous smile began to crawl across Mara's face. The blonde reread the report and bared her fangs with delight. 

_Oh yes_, she thought wickedly. _It's time to earn some cool points with the boss._

Five minutes later she was passing Hild's personal secretary with a knowing smile and inviting herself into the office with a polite knock. "Hild-sama?"

The polite inquiry failed to draw the Daimakaichō's attention from the paperwork on her desk. "What?"

Mara winced at the frosty, professional tone. Perhaps this wasn't such a good time…

"Don't waste my time, Mara." Purple eyes fixed her, as if divining her thoughts. The blonde demoness shivered. "You know I punish withholding information more harshly than I do disturbing me with worthless information."

"Of…of course, Hild-sama." The demoness first class shivered, nodding. Mara stepped fully into her office, pulling out the one sheet report as if it here a ward against the violence that may befall her should the information prove less than useful. "I recently received word that the Looking Glass of Conceit was used, yesterday to be exact."

"Indeed." The grand demoness frowned. The use of a lowly class two cursed artifact hardly warranted her attention. "Report to Kakashi. He will be demonstrating his 'Thousand Years of Pain' technique on you."

The blonde blanched, and continued hurriedly. "It was Ranma Saotome who activated the mirror!"

Hild's attitude lost a great deal of frost in that moment, and a playful smile found her features. "Indeed."

Mara nodded hastily, eager to avert her punishment. She stepped around the flowing oak desk, proffering her the report. "The looking glass was activated by Saotome at eight thirty two last night, generating a single mirror clone."

The Grand demoness' smile grew and her purple eyes were positively sparkling now. "Ranma was a girl at the time, wasn't she?"

The blonde blinked, trying recall the salient details of the report from memory and how it was relevant to their conversation. "Uh, yes, I do believe he was. Why?"

The smile widened. "As I mentioned, the child is a spring of tightly coiled chaos. I'm surprised she only generated one clone, frankly."

"I… see." Mara nodded slowly and watched as Hild began to file whatever she had been working on off to the side.

"Break time!" The Daimakaichō cheered, pushing away from the desk to reveal the shiny black cheongsam that hugged her tan body like thin second skin. Mara began to follow her boss out the door when the white haired demoness suddenly stopped, turning around. "And where do you think you're going?"

"Uh, I thought… Um… well… Weren't we…?"

"You," She emphasized, "Get to finish my paperwork."

Mara's jaw dropped as she twisted around, remembering the thick stack Hild had pushed aside. "But boss!"

The Daimakaichō's smile grew downright sinister. "Unless you'd like me to pencil you in for Kakashi?"

The blonde suddenly blurred, finding a seat behind her boss' desk and starting on the pile while humming a snappy tune.

Hild nodded with satisfaction, promptly disappearing with a fiery 'poof!'.

* * *

"**I** LOVE YOU!" 

"You gotta be kidding me!" Ranma snarled as the redheaded clone bounced from one man to another as if the main street into downtown Nerima was a veritable buffet of men to sample. Bystanders not immediately stunned after being groped by a redheaded beauty in tight white miniskirt would have succumbed to shock as her twin raced past them in hot pursuit.

"STOP!"

Landing on the doppelganger's head effectively halted her rampage, causing the creation to once again pout as she furiously rubbed the forming knot. "What?! I didn't do anything wrong! Is it possible I'm not attractive?!"

Ranma blinked with the unexpected comment as it triggered her ego in full. One thing that his girl aspect was _not_ was unattractive. "I thought you said you were cute?!"

The identical twins stared at one another furiously for a moment before noticing the crowd around them collectively staring. The clone smiled with the attention while Ranma blushed furiously. "Dammit, we need some privacy."

Ranma's thoughts sped in circles as she drug the girl into a side ally, away from prying eyes. For all intents and purposes, the double seemed to be herself. When it wasn't chasing guys, it walked with the same martial arts gait, moved the same way, talked the same way… The major difference was this version of herself seemed to be completely without masculinity or inhibition… The martial artist rubbed her temples._Was this what I would be like as a girl?_ _No, that can't be right_, she thought to herself, studying the clone as it brushed a patch of dust off her white mini. _Part of that has to be the mirror… Still…_

Ranma sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" The girl balked piteously. She glanced out the ally and the pedestrians passing by. "And they're all so cute!"

Hopeless, Ranma shook her head. She need help. Akane was right out. _The tomboy would sooner mallet me than help me with clone-chan here. Nabiki would have her camera out in a flash. Kasumi… Don't think she could handle it. Old Ghoul? Not a chance. She could handle the magic, but there'd probably be a price. Parents? Ha! Who would…_ "That's it!"

The exclamation halted the clone's inching away back to the street. "What is it?"

Ranma grabbed the copy's hand and proceeded to drab her back onto the main artery. "Come on! We're going to visit a magical girl lawyer."

* * *

**H**ild smiled. 

She couldn't help it.

Before her stood two petite redheads, one clad in red and black Chinese silks and the other a tight white mini skirt. The real Ranma shuffled nervously, awaiting her judgment while the double snooped about her earth-side office, intensely curious. All things considered, it was all the Daimakaichō could do not to laugh out loud at how the chaos followed her plaything around like a stray puppy.

Hild instead settled for an amused smirk. "I do seem to recall something about mirror clones, though how you continue to stumble across such obscure artifacts is really beyond me."

"Tell me about it." Ranma rolled her eyes. Even she couldn't help but see the irony of the situation when it wasn't being rubbed in her face directly. "Problem is, I got no idea what to do with her. It's like she's half me, half guy crazy."

Hild made a show of studying the clone, then smiled. "Told you that mini would look good on you."

"Heh." Ranma smiled openly as well now. It _did _look good on her. Or on her clone, as the case was. "She's been given guys nose bleeds in it all day."

"As she should." Hild nodded with satisfaction, wandering over to a book case filling the east wall of her office. Her finger browsed a couple shelves before coming to a stop upon the spine of a particular fat, leather bound book. She pulled the dark brown book from the shelf and began to flip a highly decorated fingernail through its aged pages, settling upon one in particular. The page in question contained nothing concerning mirrors, clones or even magical items, but the white haired woman began as if it did anyway

"Ah, here we go." She nodded. "The Looking Glass of Conceit. Crafted in sixteen thirty-three for Empress Hima Nobunga who spend several hours a day before it, enamored with her own beauty."

"Let me guess," Ranma interjected. "She fell in love with her own reflection, took sick and died."

Hild chuckled slightly. "Was that from experience? You haven't been looking into it, now have you?"

"Nah," Ranma shrugged. "Don't need a mirror to tell me I'm hot, but that's exactly what happened to its last owner."

"Of course, you are, child." Hild was chortling mentally with the Saotome's last comment. _Ah, such wonderful pride. My pet project is coming along quite nicely…_ "Which leaves us as to what to do with your twin."

"Was hoping you could help with that." Ranma took to studying her clone along side Hild. The double stopped fiddling with a crystal globe mounted on the Daimakaichō's desk upon noticing it was the center of attention.

"What?"

"I mean, I can't let it run around all nuts like that." Ranma continued, shaking her head wearily. "She's worse than Shampoo and that'll get me in trouble faster than anything."

"I see you're point." Hild nodded sympathetically even as a cackle of delight resounded within the confines of her psyche. _But trouble is what makes you so much fun, child!_ "You are correct, however. She is an amalgam of yourself and all of the pride that has been fed into the looking glass over the past three centuries, which explains her erratic behavior."

"Makes sense, I guess," Ranma nodded. "But what do I _do_ with her?"

Hild snapped the largely irrelevant book shut with a 'thunk' and placed it back on the shelf. "The mirror itself is a class two cursed artifact; a minor annoyance in the wide world of curses. Even the clone will fade in time, depending on the token amount of life force it absorbs from the user."

"Hardly seems minor," Ranma commented, temporarily side tracked by the new information. "I mean, how many people died in front of that thing?"

"Less than fifty." The grand demoness of hell comment nonchalantly. _And definitely not one of R&Ds better ideas… _"It merely ensnares the weak of will and preys upon a very specific flaw in their personality, as opposed to being outright lethal. Jusenkyo, in contrast, is a class six."

"Only six?"

"Mmmhmm," Hild nodded, patiently continuing her instruction. "Like the mirror, Jusenkyo is not out right lethal, but earns its higher rank because it tends to put the victim in either a potentially deadly situation or drives them insane… Your pig-friend comes to mind."

"I guess so…" Insight filled Ranma now as her voice trailed off. How many times had Ryoga nearly been eaten? Mousse? Shampoo? And she was sure all of them had nearly been driven insane as well within the first six months of coping with the curse. She had hung on to her sanity. Mousse and Shampoo appeared to have managed as well. Ryoga_… Not so sure about him_, Ranma commented internally. The martial artist brought herself back to the present, staring at her double who was busying herself with a compact and lipstick.

"So what about clone-chan, here?"

"The easiest method would be to get her back into the mirror and reseal it." Hild gestured to the clone, who seemed to pay little attention to her impending doom. "Failing that, she should dissipate on her own inside a month."

"Uhhhhg…" Ranma groaned. "We ripped the seal. Gonna take a week to repair."

"Better than a month, I suppose." The Daimakaichō shrugged. "Still, I can see where chasing a nymphomaniacal clone of yourself that offers herself to every man she meets would be… tedious."

"Embarrassing." Ranma corrected, earning Hild's agreement.

"That too." Hild chuckled.

"But I like guys!" The clone protested but silenced with the white haired woman's tsking.

"Of course you do, my little clone, but chasing men like some desperate animal is bad form." She explained patiently. Ranma nodded vigorously beside her.

"Exactly!" The martial artist pushed a fist in her open palm with a loud slap.

_Oh, this will just be too good_, Hild thought while smiling knowingly, then turned back to the double. "Take my student's word for it, glomping men is not the technique you want to employ here."

The girl boggled. "It's… not?"

"Duh." Ranma rolled her eyes. "I get glomped on all the time and trust me, it don't work."

"Then… what should I do?" The twin asked plaintively, as if its entire world view had been turned upon its ear. The girl looked from Ranma to Hild and back for guidance…

…Guidance Hild was more than happy to provide, knowing that Ranma would be unwittingly taking notes as well. "It is quite easy, little clone. Like a fight, it's all about control… Who controls who. When you chase, you give up that control. Make them chase you, and you retain said control."

The Grand Demoness had the doppelganger's complete attention now while Ranma unconsciously nodded with her mentor point by point. Pieces of the puzzle that had built up around her over the past two years began to unexpectedly fall into place as experiences from her own life played back in vivid detail. Mousse chasing shampoo. No control, failure. Kuno chasing Akane, a similar failure. _The fiancées chasing me…_ the same strand of logic resonated. _Just like a fight…_

Ranma Saotome looked upon few people with respect. With that nugget of insight, the magical girl slash lawyer Hild joined those rare few, and she couldn't help but to look upon the white haired woman in awe.

"I think I understand." The clone nodded, soaking up the knowledge.

"Ranma and yourself both have more than enough in your respective _arsenals_ maintain a high level of control," The demoness continued as if she were teaching a class. "Both of you are irresistibly beautiful, though _you_ will have to learn how to act and move to refine that level of control. Ranma is quite talented in that area. I'm sure she would be happy to give you pointers."

The glow of praise that coursed through the martial artist's psyche was interrupted with sudden realization that Hild had just offered her services to tutor the twin. "Now I'm not so sure I want to baby sit—"

Her mentor leaned over, whispering in her ear, "As well as occupy her until you can return her to the mirror."

Ranma's objection stalled on her lips. It would do just that, and allow her to keep an eye on her in the process. _Hell, it might even be fun_, she thought, remember back to the last time she and Hild had caused a four car pile up in the middle of downtown Tokyo. A slight smile crawled across her lips. "I guess that wouldn't be so bad."

"Of course not." Hild smile benevolently, patting Ranma on the head like a good child. "But your normal fashion simply will not suffice for the task at hand."

"Well, yeah." Ranma quipped at the obviousness of the statement, unbuttoning the first clasp on her tunic, then paused. "Then what should I wear?"

The smile widened. "Didn't I buy you _two_ miniskirts on our last outing?"

* * *

**R**anma's eyes widened and Hild delighted in watching the gears churn within. It didn't take much imagination to figure out what two undeniably gorgeous redheaded twins in matching black and white minis would do to downtown Nerima. _There will be blood_, the Daimakaicho cackled with delight. Regardless, the Grand Demoness of hell was already thinking well beyond the mischief she was inciting. Two Ranma-chans in a mini was all well and good, but pairing the impressionable- not to mention _prideful_ -martial artist with an inhibited clone girl whose sole purpose was to bed any willing male… 

…_And if his friends and family just happened just happened to find out.._.

Priceless.

"Do you understand now?" Ranma asked, glancing over her shoulder and back to the twin in tow as they exited the building containing Hild's earth side office. "Don't chase guys!"

Clone-chan nodded dutifully, falling in step with Ranma. Unspoken in that comment was the fact that the guys were to chase _them_, not vice versa. It was all about that single, fleeting word spoken by Hild.

Control.

The very concept was intoxicating, as Ranma Saotome, heir to the anything goes school of martial arts, had precious little of it in her life. Parents had laid claim to her. Fiancées had done the same. Rivals sought to blame her for every wrong. Now, _she _was in control of something other than fight. Even now she was commanding the attention of the entire street…

…And loving every moment of it.

Of course, her clone was there right beside her. Sure, she could have retained their attention all by herself; Hild had taught her that much, but having your very own twin dressed in an identical tight miniskirt only made the effect all the more surreal. A strange thrill ran through Ranma as they traversed the street and the only thing she could even compare it to was the high of pulling off a new martial arts technique for the first time. It was the flood of control she was exerting on those passing by. The waves of attention.

It was _exhilarating_.

The pair cleared the business district and turned for downtown Nerima, unaware that their every movement was being monitored by a smiling demoness who new exactly what the young martial artist was experiencing at that very moment. She was the chief architect of that experience, after all. Take one emotionally repressed individual, three cups of pride, four tablespoons or praise, another dollop of self worth, two liters of attention, and finally the secret ingredient; something denied her most of her life…

_Control._

Simply helping a person gain control of their own life was an exercise in boredom when you were the Queen of hell itself. Helping Ranma Saotome gain control of her own life was quite possibly the best entertainment she had had in the last hundred years. _Her_ life being the operative word. too many of his closest family and friends had a vested interest in controlling _his_ life in one way or another. Having those bonds broken would be amusing. Having him break those bonds and luring her to womanhood in the process would be most excellent humor. And the chaos of family friends and rivals that would ensue whether she snapped under the pressure or not during the transition would provide the grandest entertainment of all.

The Daimakaicho's chortling went unheard by the pair as they entered the shopping district of Nerima, where upon the attention they had been receiving increased exponentially. Anything carrying even a milliliter of testosterone instantly found their eyes riveted upon the two petite, shapely women in matching black and white skirts that rode two pairs of magnificent legs all the way up. The similarly cut, revealing strapless halter proudly displayed their assets for the world to see. Each click of their high heels seemed to attract the attention of yet another pair of male eyes as both girl and clone continued up the street.

Ranma's own confidence was at its peak now, having mastered yet another aspect his mentors training. While there hadn't been any five car pile ups, she hadn't exactly tried yet either, though the number of nose bleeds she was producing was more than sufficient entertainment.

"Oh, that one's so cute!" the clone suddenly squealed and the martial artist whipped around to grab her wrist before she deviated too far off course.

"No!" Ranma scolded, snapping up the clone's wrist and reeling her back in. "Don't chase! Be chased!"

"Fine…"

Ranma-chan rolled her eyes, wondering just how much of Hild-sensei's instruction the clone had actually absorbed. The thing a fragment of herself…_barely_, she noted. It was an aspect of herself, an aspect of the mirror and apparently just barely intelligent enough to fulfill its own chosen purpose in life… glomp on men. The martial artist frowned. It may look like her, and it may even sound like her, but she was the original and she would show it how things were _done_.

"Okay then, follow my lead." She told her twin and sighted her targets, two boys who apparently hadn't noticed them yet. Ranma didn't like not being noticed, especially when she had gone through so much trouble to be noticed.

The two chatty boys neared their position when the redhead 'accidentally' bumped a thermos from the discounted table of the shop they stood in front of. With calculated precision, the cylinder bounced once, then twice, landing near the feet of the boys where conversation predictably ceased as they sought the errant containers source…

…And found their wet dreams incarnate. Their eyes strayed from the pavement to their heels, climbing up their creamy thighs, around the curves of their hips, lingered at their breast for several moments before registering the movement of the full, red lips.

"Hey!" Ranma smiled, pouring in as much sugar as she possibly could.

"Excuse us!" Her body double followed, immediately, seamlessly creating the effect that one sentence had just been spoken by a single individual inhabiting two bodies. The result was instantaneous and predictable, much to Ranma's delight as both men stumbled over themselves to be of service.

"Is this yours?"

"Do you want to get a drink?"

_Be chased_, the commandment echoed and Ranma responded in kind, affecting a shy, demure attitude and acting as if she hadn't heard the boys. "Huh?"

Her clone instantly adopted the same, shy attitude and asked her sister, "What should we do?"

"IDIOTS!"

_WHACK-SMACK!_

Both boys ran off as Akane found both girls, laying into their heads with a heavy fan procured from the discount store next to them. It was Ranma's turn to rub her smarting head furiously, "Hey! Watch it! She's the fake, not me!"

"Why are you showing her how to chase people!?" Akane raged, clearing the immediate vicinity of pedestrians. It was, in her eyes, a complete mystery. Why would her fiancée be showing her copy how to pick up guys!?

_Because he's a pervert, of course._

The thought rolled around in her brain a moment before being siezed by her anger. She was just about to lay into Ranma again when the redhead twisted around in surprise. "Huh?"

Akane was equally as baffled. She was down one Ranma. "Where'd she go?"

"Dammit!" The martial artist slapped her head. "She's probably back to chasing again!"

"Weren't _you_ just doing that?" Akane favored her would be husband with a dry look. Ranma was about to protest when she cut her off. "Save it. And change your clothes, for god's sake, Pervert!"

Ranma grumbled, but acceded to her demands. As great as she looked at the moment, the last thing she wanted to do was ruin the clothes Hild bought for her chasing her own damn clone around Nerima.

One change and five minutes later, they found her in a near by park snuggling a stranger with flowers. The fraction of a second it took Ranma to identify the man she was snuggling seemed to last an eternity as brain processed the scene.

_Ryoga._

And then, she kissed him.

Ranma Saotome, heir to the anything goes school of martial arts had fought her share of grand masters. She had more than enough vengeful rivals to last a life time. Her fiancée troubles were the stuff of legends. Hell, she had even fought a half breed dragon prince. None of that, however, compared to the very surreal experience playing out before her eyes.

She was kissing Ryoga.

_Kissing!_ A slight jolt rant thought her body as the kiss lingered in that fraction of eternity. Of course, the logical portion of her brain knew that it was the clone kissing Ryoga and not herself, but it… it was _her!_ Her body, her voice, her lips… And somewhere buried under that mirror cursed guy crazy persona was a something of herself. The fact that she had identified her cursed self as her own didn't even register as a thought. _I would be _fighting_ against kissing Ryoga of all people! …wouldn't I?_

Doubt ran through the concept like a subtle fault line as she struggled to rationalize the kiss. _She's… she's just a boy crazy clone. Yeah. That's it…_ Ranma shivered unconsciously, an act that seemed to dispel the vision, allowing the moment collapsed in upon itself, and bringing Ranma back to the present. The clone had pulled away to admire her work, only to find the lost boy she sat upon a frozen statue.

In that moment, Ranma Saotome's psyche was divided into three distinct parts. The first was her pride and couldn't help but to admire the clone's handiwork, while the second part of her remained horrified, knowing no good could possibly come from kissing her oldest rival. Tied to her pride was a third part; the aspect still being cultivated by Hild and thus the smallest of the three. It was… _curious_ as to what the clone- an extension of herself, it rationalized –had felt.

In the end, it was too underdeveloped and pride stepped aside, allowing horror to take over upon recognizing the need to punish the clone before it molested her rival further.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

The same heavy fan borrowed from Akane Tendo came down hard over the clone's head, rendering her as senseless as the boy she had just kissed. "Owwwwww…"

The girl groaned as Ryoga regained his own senses. His brain had barely begun to process who had kissed him before suffering a fatal exception and passing out right then and there. Ranma proceeded to secure the wayward clone in a headlock causing Ranma a modicum of concern. Maybe the clone had broken Ryoga?

"Fainting in a place like this…" Ranma shook her head, then poked the boy. "Are you okay, Ryoga?"

The reboot of the Lost Boy's brain took exactly five point eight seconds; more than enough time to realize exactly who had kissed him—A certain redheaded martial artist. There were, of course, questions. Why was she there?_To torment me, without a doubt._ Why did she kiss him? _To make my life hell!_ Why did it have to be so soft and—

"DAMN YOU, RANMA!"

His uppercut was swift and painful, sending the offending redhead off into spiraling arc while her protests that it was not, in fact, her went largely unnoticed. Ryoga was about to stomp off after the wayward martial artist and finish the job when fate interevened in an untimely manner, allowing the original purpose for him being in the park to arrive…. Sweet, innocent Akari…

Whom he had just disgraced.

By kissing another woman.

"Ryoga!" The girl sighed happily, though joy- predictably –was the last thing on the fanged rival's mind. Sure, the girl- _Ranma_ -had just hopped into his lap and planted an planted a rather aggressive kiss on his lips, but that was all semantics at the moment. Akari was a nice girl. Innocent. Like Akane. And what had he done?

"Akari… Don't come near me…" The girl and her giant sumo pig looked on curiously. They hadn't seen the kiss, after all.

But Ryoga didn't know that.

"I disgraced myself!" And with that declaration, the Lost Boy promptly got lost, running from the park with a bewildered, yet dedicated Akari following at high speed while two Ranmas and an Akane looked on.

* * *

**R**anma slid the door open to the Tendo household, precariously balancing on a gnarled wooden staff while performing the otherwise simple operation. Simple, however, did not take into account the fact that he had just spent not only half the day chasing his man obsessed clone across half of Nerima, then running into Ryoga during said chase. 

Needless to say, Ryoga had some issues to discuss with Ranma, namely that of a certain kiss only a day earlier. The martial artist rubbed another sore spot on his body, one of many he had taken during the fight. Ranma knew he was good, but Ryoga in righteous fury mode was nothing to take lightly, much as he hated to admit it.

That, and getting the first shot in helped too.

"Dammit, Ryoga…" Ranma grumbled as he cleared the door and hobbled down the hallway. _Today can go to hell,_ he decided. Last night his clone had found out he was really a guy, then proceeded to seduce him with all the subtlety of bull in a china shop. But was that the end of it?_NOOoooooOOoo…_Ranma snorted mentally. This morning it had tried yet again, this time in what Nabiki called 'the height of nude fashion', the nude apron.

Hild had bought that for him too.

Not that he would have admitted it to anybody, especially after Nabiki called him out on it with her declaration that the clone was little more than an aspect of himself. Kasumi chiming in really didn't help any, and now there was this nagging voice in the back of his mind wondering just how much of the clones behavior was his own? If he wanted to be painfully honest, there was quite a bit. It was confident, skilled, straight to the point…

…which beckoned the disturbing and somewhat frightening hypothisis that her wants and needs were- to some degree –his as well. The kiss rippled through his mind again and Ranma shivered. Pain pulsed through his body, as if reminding him that was a thought he shouldn't be having. Stupid day. Stupid clone. Stupid—

"Isn't it great, Akane?" The depressed sound of his own female voice talking in the next room stopped him in his tracks. "He really likes you."

"Wha-?" That'd be Akane, Ranma thought as the comment had obviously caught his fiancée off guard. "Uh, No way! Ranma and I are just friends!"

Ranma Saotome nearly slid off his crutch as the words hit him. _AGAIN_. The martial artist ground his teeth down in frustration. _She's doing it again! I'm not some goddamn yo-yo for her to—_

"NO!" The clone protested from out of sight. "I know that he… he… REALLY LIKES FAT PEOPLE! IF ONLY I WAS FAT TOO!"

Ranma blinked and missed the commencement of hostilities as the clone scrambled from the room into the hall he was occupying. The redhead wasn't quite fast enough and failed to dodge the Tendo School of Martial Arts touch tone telephone atttack, sending the wayward twin into Ranma at high speeds…

_WHAM!_

_SPAlooSH!_

…and predictably into the koi pond. Ranma regained his- now her –sense first as Akane towered over the pair, stone lantern poised to drop upon the both of them in a rather indiscriminant display of violence. There was only one thing the water logged martial artist as she stared up at her apparently once more ex-fiancée…

_This shit has GOT to stop…_

* * *

"**H**ild-sama will see you now." 

Ranma Saotome Saotome nodded at the conservatively dressed receptionist from the other side of the secretary's desk and looked to the waiting room chairs, relieved to find not merely one, but two Ranma's safely infatuated with themselves. The second Ranma's presence- a male this time –actually went a long way in stabilizing the female version as they mooned over one another. Sure his production had been an accident as well and the Looking Glass' curtain ripped yet again, but oh well.

Yet something else I can blame on my idiot old man's appetite, she groused, walking over to the couple, grabbing at her female twins hand. "Let's go."

"But…."

"No 'buts'" Ranma shook her head, all but dragging the clone up and across the room. the male version quickly followed like a puppy, equally infatuated with not just women, but these particular women. _After all, two Ranma-chans are better than one, right, Clone-kun?_

"Ah, Ranma-chan!" The tanned woman delighted from behind her own desk as no less than three versions of the girl stepped through the door. "I see you brought another friend."

"Yeah, I'm startin' a collection." Ranma quipped with humor, then frowned. "But seriously, I'm at the end of my rope here."

Hild smiled knowing, standing up to get a better view of the trio while affording them a better view of her current fashion statement, a black dress with a plunging 'v' neck, highlighted in hot pink while streamers hung freely about her. "I can't promise miracles, but what can I help you with?"

The inside joke and the mischievous smile that went with it were lost on Ranma, who simply nodded. "No problem, you're just better at this magical bullshit than I am." Hild nodded, and the redhead continued, "I don't suppose you could, like, do something with them for a week? I dunno, put em to work or something? You got a huge company, right?"

"True, true." The Daimakaichō mused, sizing the pair up. "But what is wrong with your place?"

Of course, she already knew the answer.

"Keep getting me in trouble!" Ranma shook her head furiously. "They'll chase anything with two legs of the opposite sex, Akane thinks I'm hittin' on everybody and clone-chan here kissed one of my rivals. Hell, I nearly got married to Shampoo thanks to clone-kun here!"

"Ah, yes," Hild put an index finger to her lip, recalling their earlier conversations. "The Tendo girl is quite… reactionary. Honestly, you can do so much better, but that's a conversation for another time."

That statement caught her completely off guard. "Uh, yeah, I guess."

"And what to do about you two?" Hild circled around the desk, studying the pair who were barely aware she had asked a question. Instead, both were staring at one another with other things on their mind. The white haired woman turned back to Ranma. "I suppose I could arrange something to keep them out of your hair."

"Really!?"

"The least I can do." The Grand Demoness of Hell smiled. "And if you scribble down the address of the mirror, I'll even chauffer them there myself at the end of the week."

"Awesome!" Ranma gushed, and snatched at the piece of paper Hild had proffered her. A quick scribble latter and Ranma was out the door, waving goodbye and leaving the Daimakaichō in possession of two mirror clones.

"Ahem." Hild coughed, gaining the reluctant attention of one male and one female Ranma. "Ranma asked that I take care of you…"

Both clones nodded, reassured by the woman's warm smile.

"And I shall." Hild shaped the fingers of her left hand like a gun and sighted clone kun. "Pa-tooo!"

The demoness's hand recoiled and the male Ranma abruptly exploded, detonating next to clone chan in a audible pop of smoke and sparkles. Clone-chan's eyes widened in horror as she leapt back gasping.

"What!? What the hell!?"

The hand-gun took aim on the remaining clone. Hild's eyes twinkled with amusement as the girl stepped back in horror. "It's quite simply, my little clone. Your usefulness has come to an end."

"Usefuleness!?" the clone girl shook her head, clearly not comprehending the suddenly ruthless turn of events. "But you can't!"

"I can and I shall." Hild shrugged. "But thank you for nudging my Ranma-chan in the right direction." The clone opened its mouth to protest…

"Pa-tooie!"

…And was reduced to component atoms herself.

* * *

**N**ormalcy. 

It was a double edged sword in his opinion. On one hand, he was a martial artist and had long since accepted his life wasn't destined to stay any length of time in the same realm that normal people spent theirs; that is to say one with a normal upbringing, a high school sweetheart, aspirations toward college, and eventually, that nice salary position at a well established corporation. Ranma Saotome lived the anti-thesis of that existence—Life and death battles involving the dispensation of highly destructive martial arts against demi-gods, ghosts, rivals and occasionally even fiancées. Suffice to say, it rarely got boring, which was the way he liked it.

On the other hand, even the best martial artist in the world needed a vacation and today appeared to be that day. Akane was in a good mood, the fiancées were occupied by other endeavors, the fathers weren't scheming, and Ryoga was good and lost. Oh, it wasn't absolute perfection, of course. Kuno dropped by the dojo to look for his pigtailed girl and while Ranma had a right mind to make him hemorrhage from the nose, just wasn't feeling up to putting forth the effort. A foot deftly applied to his face sufficed.

No, amazingly enough it was turning out to be a lazy summer Saturday and nearly every point of consternation that normally manifested itself within his life was preoccupied with other matters, leaving the martial artist to do whatever the hell he pleased.

_Grumble._

Well, almost, Ranma decided as his stomach signaled its neglect. The pig tailed boy's rooftop kata wound down and came to an easy halt. He froze in his final stance, allowing calm to once again center around him before breaking from the pose, hoping lightly off the edge and—

"Oh my!"

The Saotome kicked a foot out mid-drop, throwing momentum into a half twist that served to narrowly avoid the Eldest of the Tendo as he landed. Ranma bounced into a crouch that absorbed the inertia of the awkward landing and stared up at Kasumi with an apologetic look.

"Eh, sorry 'bout that Kasumi." Ranma said sheepishly, regaining his full height. "Was distracted. Shoulda been payin' more attention."

Kasumi's blinking ceased after another moment and the concerned surprise on her face lapsed into a gentle smile. "You really shouldn't be practicing on the roof, Ranma-kun…"

"Aw, you don't have to worry about—"

"After all," Kasumi continued. "I'd hate for one of your rivals to create another hole in our ceiling."

"—me." Ranma stalled, then noted the twinkle in the eldest Tendo's eye. He smiled. "Gotcha Kas-chan." Her own face betrayed nothing but the gentle smile, but he could see the humor, then noted the small bouquet of tulips in hand. Flowers? Maybe he could poke her back. "Who're those for? Doc?"

While the slightest of blushes adorned her face, she shook her head. "No, these are for mother."

"Mother…? But, um… She's…?" Now it was Ranma's turn to offer a clueless visage while trying to recover valiantly. "I mean, it's her birthday?"

Kasumi chuckled softly over the pigtailed boys floundering. "If you keep this up, I might have to accuse you of being as clueless as Nabiki seems to think you are." The clueless look persisted and she relented. "Mother's day, Ranma."

The martial artist's mouth morphed into a large 'ooooh' as enlightenment dawned upon him. Still, he tiptoed around the delicate topic. "You, um, do this every year?"

Kasumi nodded pleasantly and resumed her walk to the dojo, Ranma falling in step behind her. She really couldn't blame him. Sure, he knew all the major holidays, but one thing that had become abundantly clear during his stay was that the young man had missed out on a lot of social niceties during his upbringing. Being raised to think his mother was long dead certainly hadn't helped matters, especially when it came to being cognizant of holidays such Mother's Day. "It's my way of honoring her, just as Nabiki and Akane have their way."

"I think I know whatcha mean…At least a little." Ranma commented as they stepped into the dojo. The statement cause Kasumi some pause. Perhaps he did. Ripped from his mother at five and forced to live on the road for the next ten years. Even now when he had a mother, he could only be around her as Ranko Tendo. _So close, yet so far away_, the sister mused soberly as she walked up to the shrine and laid the bouquet at the foot of the shrine.

The martial artist watched as the eldest sister gently placed the flowers at the shrine's base, retrieve one step back and close her eyes with a silent prayer. It was a sight that invoked no small amount of envy in the martial artist… unconditional love, and Ranma was certain it was something that existed not only in her mother's death, but life as well. The martial artist watched for the scene for a moment before realizing how just intensely personal it has and retreated from the dojo out of respect. Outside the structure, the pigtailed boy let a sigh loose.

It was something he wished he could share with his mother… Without the ever present threat of a katana hanging over his head. The hopeless proposition was broken with a smile. Maybe 'Ranko' was the only one who would be seeing his mother, but that didn't mean Ranma couldn't send her a little something. The martial artist abandoned the dojo with the idea at the forefront of his mind, jogging into the now vacant house and finding his school pack from which he retrieved the necessary pencil and paper..

_Dear Mom,  
Sorry I can't be around, but just wanted you to know I was think' of ya and will hopefully be able to see ya soon. Can't wait! Happy Mother's Day!_

_Saotome, Ranma_

The boy reread the terse note and walked over to the living room desk, pulling out a single envelope and stamps. He was about to turn away when another idea popped into his head. With a smile, he withdrew second envelope and returned to the table, fishing another sheet of paper from the book bag. The smile persisted as he readied the pencil once more.

_Dear Hild,_

_Can't afford anything fancy and it's probably not my place, but just wanted to wish you a happy mother's day. I know ya don't have it easy, today of all days, but hope to see you soon._

_Saotome, Ranma_

Ranma nodded and packed both notes into their respective envelopes, addressing and stamping both before taking them in hand and out the house. The nearest postal box was only three blocks away and Ranma leapt over the property to shave time off his transit. Two blocks, turn the corner, another block and the red box was right in front of him…

…and standing next to it, a white haired woman with tanned skin, a revealing pastel wrap and a sour look on her face. Ranma closed the final few feet of the mailbox, prepping for battle.

"You again?" Ranma snorted, dialing up his most condescending tone. "Shouldn't you be taking care of that kid of yours?"

The round struck home before Urd could even compose a thought, causing the woman's cheek to twitch. "That kid is my sister, idiot."

The martial artists nodded as if it were simply a fact of life. "I mean I would have never guessed. You could be her mother, after all."

"Grrrrr…" The goddess growled as lightning manifested itself along her skin. "You're pushing it, mortal."

"And I got better things to do that chat with senile old women." Ranma retorted acerbically. "Was there a reason you dropped in? Mahjong night with the other old geezers, maybe?"

Urd's fist began to pale as it tightened with fury. Electrical arcs danced from it, but she managed to remain in control. Barely. "I'm here to give you a warning, jackass!"

Ranma decided to relent on his verbal assault. As much fun as it was, this poor excuse for Hild's daughter was obviously enduring his goading for a reason and that was just enough to intrigue him. "Fine. What is it?"

"Watch you back around my mother." Urd replied in complete seriousness. "You have no idea what evil she's capable of and right now, her sights are set on you."

Ranma somehow managed not to roll his eyes. Barely. Sure, lawyers didn't rate that highly on the public opinion poll, but… "Bit over dramatic, huh? I mean, if you want me to introduce you to evil, stick around Friday nights at about six. When you here the word 'sweeto!' yer in the right place."

"Idiot!" The Goddess of the Past was fuming once more. "Your immortal soul is in jeopardy! If she has you sign a contract, it's over!"

This time Ranma didn't suppress the roll of his eyes. "Look, just because you don't get along with her doesn't mean you have try and fill somebody else's head with your bullshit. I got enough people already trying to do that already."

"I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU!"

"And delusional to boot." He quipped then adopted an exaggerated contemplative pose. "Why is it I always seem to attract the crazies…?"

"JACKASS!"

With that the woman was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving Ranma to chuckle as he slid his two envelopes into the red post box. _God, what an airhead…_

* * *

"**L**etter, Boss." 

Mara handed the pink and black clad Daimakaichō a small white envelope, prompting her to arch an arched eyebrow. She looked at it then back her current project, a malnourished, mousy looking man with sunken eyeballs and the nub of a black mustache hanging beneath his nose. He was chained spread eagle to the ring of scorching hot oven bricks, ensuring every contact with the ground was as excruciating as possible. Hild's eyes lit up with curiosity as she noted the sender and she ignored the whimpering little man momentarily in favor of parting the seal with a highly decorated nail.

"Peeeehhh…. Peehhhhh…." The tortured man rasped, barely having enough energy to pull in the breath necessary to make his plea. "Peeehhleease, mistress Hiiiild…."

The smile the white haired woman's face was like that of a kid in a candy store as she pulled the note out. Her eyes never left it as she commented, "More fire-ants, Oggna."

A huge, red skinned demon with broad horns and several strands of red hot chains dangling from them smiled, bearing several rows of gnarled fangs. Beefy claws grasped a bucked that danced with flame. Inside, ant-like creatures rippled with anticipation.

"Mistresssss Hillldddd! Pleeeeeasssse!" The man's eyes widened and he suddenly found the ability to stuggle in quite an animated manner as the demon held the bucket over him "Have mercyyyy!"

The Grand Mistress of Hell paid him no attention and unfolded the note with anticipation, her eyes flicking back and forth as she read the terse note's contents. Purple eyes blinked at the words, then blinked again as she reread the letter.

"AAAiiiieeeeEEEGHHHH!!!" The man twitched painfully as thousands of flaming insects crawled about his skin, biting with piercing mandibles. Anywhere they found an orifice they journeyed, ensuring no part of the man's body remained unsampled. Still, the chains remained taut throughout his struggling.

Mara took her eyes off the withering man for a moment, finding a lost look on her mistress's face. It was completely at odds with the expression she had started to read with. "Um, Boss?"

She looked up at her subordinate with a bewildered look. "She sent me—He's not—I can't—"

Demoness First class Mara looked at her boss, then the piece of paper. What the hell had the Saotome kid written, anyway?

Hild folded the letter back up, noticing the attention. Mara was half tempted to rub her eyes to be sure, because she could have sworn Hild's were positively sparkling now. "I'll… be in my office." She seemed to think on the course of action, then nodded. "Yes. No disruptions. Period."

"Um, sure Hild-sama." The blonde nodded, watching the Daimakaichō's back as she found the nearest exit from the super-heated torture chamber.

"Hiiillld-sammmmaaaaa!"

Hild paused, nearly having departed the room completely when the last gasp found her ears. She smiled a bit wider. "And more fire ants for A-chan."

"NOOOoOooooOOO!"

The Queen of Hell left the chamber, a smirk on her face.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**  
First of all, thanks to everybody who's managing to hang with my release times on this fic. I know they can be rampantly abysmal and I do apologize. Other projects have taken priority but I'll keep pumping it out when I can. 

**Clone-chan;** _For me, this is perhaps one of the most intriguing chapters in the entire Ranma ½ series. Here we have Ranma, manly man, donning a tight mini for little better reason than to show his clone how to pick up guys. This goes above and beyond both ego, and somebody who uses a body as a throw away item. This story aside, I see definite attachment to the body and it's times like these when I wish RT would have gone deeper into his psychological state. In any case, it builds more than enough into canon for Hild to have a pretty free hand in events._

**Ranma-chan;**_ Since when did I say Hild would get away with making Ranma a girl?! Laugh and pretend you got the joke. Anyway, this is still not a 100 -chan fic, though it will feature heavily in the fic. That has been the warning since the beginning since Hild likes the idea, as does the author. Plot to this end will be revealed as necessary._

**Follow Along; **_Most of the events in this chapter- while attributed to hild -can be seen in book 35, including the scene with two Ranmas in a mini. _

**Special Thanks; **_To mah peeps, Miz Lear, Metroidvania G and Dustin D. Anything remaining after their fine work is my shizzle. And my nizzle. Or something. _


	6. Chapter 6

Note: Slight warning for this chapter. Get's a bit adult and dark midway through. And by adult I mean some fairly uncomfortable given the principle cahraters involved. Viewer discression is advised ;)

* * *

**Hell is a Martial Artist**  
_By Ozzallos_

**Chapter VI**

_Ding-ding!_

**N**abiki Tendo's senses perked up as the sounding of the front gate bell, yet the ringing failed to move her from her favorite position on the couch in front of the TV. The TV was not on at the moment in favor of the glossy teen fashion magazine she was reading. The pitched died off and she shrugged mentally, turning back to her magazine. Answering the door was a menial task for menial people and she had better things to do with her—

_Ding-ding-ding!_

"Nabiki, could you get that?" Her elder sister's courteous request floated from the kitchen and the ice queen scowled faintly, setting aside her magazine. As annoying as having the task delegated to her person was, it was a fair trade all things considered. If Kasumi could cook for her, she could at least see who was at the gate. The middle Tendo crossed the living room, sliding into a pair of sandals at the door and walked out into a beautiful blue Saturday afternoon. Halfway to the gate, the bell sounded off a third salvo, irritating Nabiki further.

"Alright, alright," She griped, reaching the gate. Whoever it was, they were rapidly earning their way up her shit list and she mentally drew up plans to extract funds from whoever was on the other side of the wooden gate. _Probably not a martial artist_, she mused as she unlatched the bar holding the gate closed. _After all, the walls are still intact. _

She swung the courtyard entrance just in time to find a completely leather clad blonde reaching up to give the bell another good yank. She fixed the woman with a glare. "That _won't_ be necessary."

The stranger smiled sweetly and pulled away from the device, allowing Nabiki to concentrate on her partner, a taller white haired woman with a rich tan. She could tell it was a rich tan by the business jacket skirt combination. While the black pencil skirt was a modest- if tight -length, she literally wore nothing beneath the jacket, ensuring her charms strained against the minimally buttoned garment. _Fiancees_, Nabiki instantly categorized the pair with a mental shark's smile while favoring them with an outwardly cool mask. _Time for the blood letting._

"Five thousand yen."

"My, how abrupt," Purple eyes considered the girl with barely veiled humor. "And what, exactly, would parting with my hard earned funds buy me?"

"Saotome's whereabouts, of course." Nabiki replied, absolutely confident in her position. Barely dressed women arriving at the dojo could only mean one thing, after all.

"Silly child. I already know _where_ he is." The woman returned in a condescending tone. Nabiki hid the twitch threatening to overtake her cheek admirably. "Surely my yen would buy a more valuable service…?"

"Ah…" The good news was the strange woman was still willing to deal. Nabiki appreciated that. The bad news was her mystery guest also knew how to bargain and that she'd be working harder for her commission. Nabiki's brain fought to regain the initiative. "I can… Ensure that you won't be interrupted during your visit."

"Hmmm, perhaps." The white haired woman made a show of thinking on the matter. "Alright, then. A reasonable fee for a reasonable service. Mara, please—"

"Not exactly," The Tendo countered as the bait was taken. "Interruptions concerning Saotome come in many forms, not the least of which include _other_ fiancées. Fifteen thousand would be more appropriate at this juncture."

"Such a steep increase," The woman emoted slight, and by Nabiki's estimation, phony concern. "One would almost think such a service was invaluable."

"Heh," Nabiki chuckled, genuine amusement showing on her face for the first time. "Then you would be well informed to realize that many of Ranma's fiancées are regularly _heavily armed_. They tend to require a subtle hand when his… _virtue_ is in question."

"And I am to assume you are just such a hand." The woman produced a negligible shrug, then turned her full and undivided attention on to the middle sister. "And how about you, Miss Tendo. Are _you_ concerned with his virtue?"

"For the right the right price, I could be convinced not to be."

"Twenty then," The woman smiled, turning to her blonde partner. The leather clad woman proffered a small pocket book, allowing the business woman to pull out several tan sheets.

"Thirty thousand," Nabiki countered. There was blood in the water now and damned if she wouldn't take as big a bite out of her mark as she could. She produced her own manufactured look of concern. "After all, my very sister is engaged to him too. She could very well be devastated."

"I'm sure she would get over it in time," The purple eyed woman commented indifferently. "Twenty two."

"Possibly," the sister commented with false introspection. "But I'd positively _hate _myself if I were wrong."

"Twenty five, then." She pulled out another two sheets, then added, "To sooth your conscious."

"I'd also sleep better at night if I could buy her a few tokens to get her over her loss," Nabiki shook her head with remorse she wasn't feeling.

The woman pulled a final sheet, leveling those purple eyes on the dark haired brunette. "Twenty seven. Otherwise I shall simply take my chances within."

"Done."

"Of course, I am the Daimakaichō and should you renege on your bargain, your soul is forfeit," The woman commented with an easy smile, holding out her hand to be shaken. "Agreed?"

"Yeah, sure," Nabiki dismissed the theatrics, gave her hand a good shake and snatched the money up. The white haired woman simply smiled as Nabiki stepped aside. "Saotome's in the dojo doing katas."

"Of course she is," Hild nodded brushing past the girl, Mara in tow. The mercenary was too busy counting her new found wealth to notice the gender her benefactor had employed as the pair continued across the courtyard, angling toward the dojo itself. The pair slid into the structure silently, finding what could only be described as a martial arts blur in action. To any other audience, the blurring kata would have been breathtaking… Even awe-inspiring. His audience at the moment however was far from ordinary and simply waited patiently for the exercise to wind down.

A soft clapping brought his kata to a halt and the martial artist turned to find the Hild and her assistant watching from the edge of the mat.

"Bravo." The white haired woman smiled generously. "While I won't claim to be a martial arts aficionado, I must say it was a superb virtuoso nonetheless."

"Eh, thanks." Ranma smirked in spite of the fact that he had been taken completely by surprise. He hadn't even detected the pair's entry, exposing yet another facet of the Magical Girl Lawyer's skill. That aside, finding her at the dojo was a surprise in itself, nor was it an unpleasant one. "Whatcha doing here anyway? Takin' a break from work?"

"Of sorts." She nodded, stepping toward the center of the room. The shrine at the structures north wall caught her attention for a brief moment before turning back to Ranma, her expression softening. "Actually, I just wanted to drop by and personally thank you for the letter."

The pig tailed boy blinked. Leaning behind them on the wall Mara blinked, unsure of what she had just heard. As far as she knew, they were just dropping in to satisfy her mistress' craving for mischief. The blonde checked the thought. _Hells, she might _still_ be doing just that._

"Ah, it was nothin'" Ranma brushed it off, but avoided eye contact with the woman. "Just thought well… Never mind. Ain't my place."

"No, I think it is." Hild brushed a lock of her white mane aside and sighed, looking away. She didn't have to do this. In fact, it would be so very easy to ignore the sudden wellspring of conscious the boy's letter had produced. Easy, but… "Because frankly your concern is misplaced. Undeserved, even."

"Don't see what—"

"I haven't been completely honest with you, Ranma-kun." She continued, cutting him off with renewed determination. "In fact, I've been using you. Selfishly using you for my own enjoyment. Using you to fill a hole in my own existence." Ranma remained silent, simply watching the woman now as she unloaded her conscious. "That is why I don't deserve your sympathies. I would have used you, laughed and thrown you away like that girl out there."

"Girl?" Ranma finally latched on to something that retained more definition than Hild's own nebulous feelings of guilt. "What girl?"

"Nabiki Tendo," Hild remarked with a dead smile. "She just sold your virginity for a paltry twenty seven thousand yen."

The words were heard by the martial artist but failed to register for a few seconds as they attempted their meaning. Finally, something resembling a coherent though found his lips. "That's… She…" Ranma shook his head, finally reconciling her statement into a single derisive laugh. "Figures."

"Indeed." She quipped, then turned completely serious. "I, on the other hand, would have done worse. I was looking to turn you into a sexual plaything, fully willing to destroy your life in order to achieve some measure of self gratification. Make no mistake, Ranma-kun I am as evil a person as you'll ever meet."

The pig tailed boy eyes the woman before him now critically, noting that while the package was harmless enough looking, a palpable weight hung about her person. If he didn't know any better, it was something akin to Ryoga's depressive aura, except magnitudes darker than the lost boy could ever hope to achieve. And yet…

"Feh, whatever." Ranma shrugged the announcement off as if it were inconsequential. "I'd be a little pissy too if Urd ragged on me as much as she does you."

"You… I…!" It was a rare thing to see the Grand Demoness at a loss for words, let alone flustered, yet Mara watched as exactly that played out in front of her. The very space around Hild began to darken. "_I am the Daimakaichō of Hell itself, Ranma!_ I torment the souls of the wicked for eternities on end! I play cruel and petty games with those of weak will, guiding them toward self damnation!"

If the proclamation fazed Ranma, he failed to show it in any way, shape or form. Instead, a smirk escaped his lips. "Well, shit. And I though being cursed to become a chick was bad."

Purple eyes stared incredulously back at him. "I… would have… _destroyed _you…"

"Are ya gonna now?"

Hild blinked. Somehow the very thought had become very alien in her mind and a single word came out as barely a whisper. "No."

Ranma leaned back against the wall opposite of Mara. He nodded, almost to himself and the smirk disappeared in favor of more morose visage. "I… really got nobody myself. Sure, there's my old man, but there ain't much to him besides the art. My Mom… Well, I don't even exist to her."

"And the fiancées?" Hild asked rhetorically, sensing that it was her turn to lighten the mood. "Surely all those lovely women beating a path to your door would beat… _other_ things?"

"Eh, right," Ranma flushed pink, receiving the innuendo quite clearly, but shook it off to pursue the matter at hand. "Besides, it wasn't as if I wasn't using you too." Hild cocked her head curiously, momentarily side tracked from her own dejection. "I was using your office as a place to hide… Saved me from those mirror clones, helped with the mushrooms, and even leaned on your advice about Kumon. I guess what I'm sayin' is even if you were screwin' around with me… It's been the most fun I've had in damn near forever."

"I…" The white haired demoness trailed off into silence for a moment before continuing. "As did I. However, you must realize the full import of your association with me."

"What's to know?"

"I shall show you." She replied, committing herself to this final course. "Once you see for yourself… You may very well decide against it."

Ranma cocked his head, silently taking the woman's measure for a good minute and a half before shrugging. "Sure, why not. Wait here a sec though."

Hild watched curiously as Ranma cross the dojo mat, passed her with a unreadable look and left the structure entirely. The Ruler of Hell looked from the now vacant dojo doorway to her subordinate, who shrugged in kind. Ranma returned a minute later. Hild blinked, watching the now red headed girl walk in with an impish smile.

"Okay, ready."

She arched a skeptical eyebrow at the girl but widened her smile, turning back to Mara. "Hold down the fort. Be back in a jiffy."

"But Boss--!"

_Poof!

* * *

_

Hild snapped her fingers, engulfing both Daimakaichō and redhead in a fiery plume.

**W**ithin the safety of her room, Nabiki Tendo considered the neatly array cash on the desk before her. While she wasn't a stranger to profit, it rarely came up and bit her on the ass in such quantity. _God I love Ranma and his fiancées,_ she chortled mentally, counting over the sheets again. _Not simply Ranma_, she amended. _None of this would be possible without that moron he calls a father._

Even so, there was a slight problem. Whoever the tanned woman was, Nabiki had no doubt that she would be following up on her intention to deflower the martial artist and that alone would create problems if she was by some small chance successful. The status quo would be upset and so would her potential to make profit off her sister's part time fiancée. While she wasn't overly fond of the jock, even she couldn't ignore the worst case scenario. If anybody had a chance to pull it off, it was this new one. Not only did she have the body of supermodel, she was confident and more importantly—_A woman_. It was an important distinction in the Ice Queen's opinion, especially when the competition _wasn't_.

Nabiki stared at the yen on her desk, contemplating her options. On one hand she had the short term gain of the new fiancée's cash and with it, her word that she would keep the competition off her back. On the other hand was the potential loss of Ranma's long term profit potential. The mercenary drummed her fingers along the flat of the desk, playing through the options. If she called the fiancées outright, her new found yen was just as gone as if she let the woman have her way with Saotome. But… _But if I play the fence… _She speculated, forming the angle mentally. _Let the fiancées in on it, make a showy protest of their presence… Oh sure, I probably won't be able to keep all the money she gave me, but I'd at least have a case to keep at least half -- if not more -- plus the fee from the girls…_ A devious smile slowly formed along her lips. _And if I do it right, keeping the new woman in play will create even more opportunities to generate cash in the future…_

It was simply too good an opportunity to pass up and Nabiki organized the stack of yen, pulling a touch tone phone into easy dialing reach. At that very moment, an anonymous database churned within the bowls of the Yggdrasil, locating the file of Nabiki Tendo, daughter of Soun and Natsumi Tendo, removing its read only flag. It was then instantaneously transferred from the protected core of the system and into the contested souls directory to await its fate.

The entire process was completed before the Ice Queen lifted her finger off the first digit of the telephone.

* * *

**U**rd, Goddess of the Past presently grounded Earth side paused just outside the the dojo property wall, cocking her head with a slight frown. The kid hadn't been more than thirty meters from her present location when every trace of him simply vanished. The Goddess re-tuned her sense to take into account the kids inverted life force trick and turned up the exact same result… Nothing.

"Sonofabitch…" Urd growled and altered her course. Instead of her planned entry via the Tendo property gate, she changed course and phased directly through the wall, crossing the grassy courtyard therein with renewed purpose. Again she ignored the standard method of entry and passed straight through the dojo wall with a large chunk of irritation in tow. "Look, Saotome--!"

"Oh, it's _you_."

"Mara?!" Urd blinked, clearing the wall and stopping short, mouth gaping. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

The leather wrapped blonde was sitting cross legged in the middle of the dojo, looking blandly up at her from the Gameboy she had been playing. "Me? What are _you_ doing here?"

"My job," Urd huffed, walking over to the minion of Hell. "And where's Saotome, for that matter?"

"Off with the boss," Mara shrugged, returning her attention to the game. "Why the interest?"

"I've been assigned to make sure my Mother doesn't screw the naive kid over," She shook her head, looking around the small space of the dojo for evidence of their stay.

"Ah," Mara smiled a toothy, devious smile and placed the Gameboy down on the mat beside her. The fact that it shown her fangs made it all the more disconcerting. "Then I guess now wouldn't be a good time to tell you she took him to Hell." Her forehead scrunched. "_Her_ to Hell."

"WHAT?!" The Norn was in her face now, nearly panicking outright. "She got him to actually sign?!"

"It's not—"

"Shit, shit, shit!" Urd paced the dojo now in clear agitation. "Kami-sama's going to have my ass for this!"

"She didn't—"

"I'll be lucky if they don't bust me to ground duty for the next five hundred years," The white haired Goddess chewed on the end of her blue robe. She turned back to Mara with wide eyes. "Do you know what this will look like on my permanent—"

"She didn't sign a damn contract!" The blond blurted, forcefully inserting herself into her fretting monologue. Urd froze, staring; prompting Mara to roll her eyes. "Jeez, what a ditz."

"No… contract?" Urd picked through the words, attempting to get a handle on their exact meaning. Mara simply nodded like a teacher to a child. "But took him to Hell."

Another nod.

Urd rubbed her temples in a futile effort to ward off the impending headache. "What in the world is she doing with the brat then?"

"You're asking me?" The demoness snorted sarcastically. While she could speculate, she wasn't about to do so in front of goodie-two-shoes here, childhood friend or no. "Last thing she told me was 'hold down the fort', so I'm stuck 'till they get back."

"Then so am I." The tanned goddess decided. "I've been beating around the bush with that kid. Time to give it to him straight."

"Straight?" Mara arched an eyebrow but recovered her Gameboy.

"Saotome's soul is in immortal danger." She stated with no uncertainty. "I can't let mother get her hooks into him any deeper than she already has, even if it means telling him outright what she is and who we are."

"Mmmhmm, sure." Mara mumbled, now engrossed in the portable device.

"You're not even listening."

"I'm not even _caring_," Her eyes flicked up from the Gameboy, then back. "But you're free to wait till they get back. Could use the company…" Mara paused, casting a dry look at her counterpart. "Even if it's yours."

"Funny." Urd sniffed contemptuously, staring down at the woman for another moment before sitting next to her. "Got another one of those?"

* * *

"**W**elcome to Hell, Ranma."

A brief plume of smoke obscured Ranma's vision, but once it did, Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts was witness to Hell in all its glory… A solid oak desk. Two fully loaded book cases. A sofa along the opposite wall and even an intricately carved ivory tusk centerpiece. The redhead smiled as she noted a letter written in her own handwriting set carefully to the side of the desk, then adopted a bland look. "Hell looks a lot like your office."

"It is the same office, simply in two places at once," Hild chuckled, walking around the desk and to the curtain drawn over the window behind her luxurious leather chair. "But there are, as I'm sure you'll notice, a few minor differences."

She pulled the curtain aside revealing what Ranma had assumed was going to be the standard view of down town Tokyo. She was wrong. Oh so very wrong. The Daimakaichō stepped aside, revealing an expansive cavern beyond the plate glass, stretching well beyond even her formidable eye sight. Buildings lined the cavern like any other major metropolis, merging both earth and ceiling into a vast array of interconnected columns that seemed to support the immense subterranean complex.

"I… it's…" Ranma walked around the desk, pressing her nose to the glass as she took it all in. She turned back to Hild with a questioning look. "I mean, where's the fire and brimstone?"

"In a separate section," The Grand Demoness commented, stepping up next to Ranma and admiring the view herself. "This is merely the administrative sector. Would you like a look around?"

"Uh, sure." Ranma nodded automatically. "That's why we're here, right?"

"Exactly." Hild confirmed, leading the way to the office double doors, pushing them open easily. The white haired woman strode out into the receptionists office with Ranma in tow. She motioned to the receptionist, walking by. "Of course, you've met Amanda,"

The martial artist barely nodded this time, noting that instead of the pale, black haired receptionist he had come to know, a pink skinned, black haired woman of vaguely the similar facial structure was sitting in her place. The smallish horns, wings and tail weren't lost on Ranma either. Amanda smiled politely as they passed as did Ranma, who immediately stepped up her pace to stay alongside Hild.

"Um, about Amanda…"

"An illusionary form," Hild commented as they walked out into the hallway. "Wouldn't do to have people topside running around screaming demon and such nonsense."

"Kinda like ol' Taro running around Tokyo, I guess." Ranma snorted with amusement after rolling the revelation around within his thoughts. "Idiot collects devil hunters and magical girls like baseball cards."

"Ah, the Níuhèmànmáorénnìquán boy you were telling me about?" The pair stepped into an elevator that took them to the ground floor of the building. Hild chuckled lightly as they exited the lift and crossed the lobby. "But yes, the effect would likely be similar. I'd imagine the panic he causes is quite amusing."

"As is watching his ass get shot off by some random magical attacks," the redhead smirked while tracking her surroundings. Not everybody was a weird demon, she noted as they moved through the lobby, people greeting them deferentially as they passed. Oh, sure, some of them were damn weird looking, but Ranma was, well, Ranma. Weird shit like this was par for the course.

The bellhop, an aging man in his late sixties held the door open for the pair and they exited. The martial artist absently noted the fact that his long horns stretching back across his forehead and coal black skin seemed a bit at odds with the dapper suit he wore but she smiled anyway, following Hild out to a horse drawn carriage. Said horse was quite literally on fire, specifically it's long mane and hooves. Ranma stared. Even its eyes danced with fire light.

"Daimakaichō," The carriage director tilted his top hat respectfully. Unlike other, this person's features were nothing but rolling shadow. "Where shall I have the honor of conveying you and your guest today?"

The same attendant from the doorway now opened the carriage door, allowing both to step up into the open aired vehicle. He shut the door once they were securely mounted on the pillow cushioned passenger's seat, allowing Hild to reply to her their conductor. "Scenic route to the gates, Naxlyx."

"As you will." The driver heaved the reigns in hand a sharp jerk and the fiery horse lumbered forward, pulling the carriage away from the office building curb at a lethargic pace.

"I must say, you're taking all of this quite well." Hild smiled pleasantly, leaning back into her well cushioned seat. "Though given your regular existence, I really shouldn't be surprised."

"Probably, but even I gotta admit you're maxin' my weird shit quota for the month." Ranma chuckled as she took in the city around them. Overall, the place wasn't that unusual. The people were different and the city was underground, lit by impossibly bright torches mounted on towering spires, but when it was all said and done it was simply another city.

"Which reminds me…" The Daimakaichō's purple eyes scrutinized Ranma curiously, her head tilting slightly. "Why, exactly did you change into your female form for this trip? I wouldn't expect that after… Well…"

"We always go out like this," Ranma returned nonchalantly. A little too much nonchalant in Hild's estimation. "Can't go breakin' tradition now, right?" Hild continued to stare and the martial artist began to squirm. The redhead held out for another thirty second before caving entirely. "And maybe cuz you kinda… I mean, not sayin' you _need_ anything like that... anything like, um…"

A gentle smile brought the girl's rambling to a halt and bejeweled, tanned hand patted her head gently. "I believe I understand… And thank you for that."

Ranma gave the response a quick shrug before turning away in much too obvious a manner to take in the sights passing by. Hild herself continued to smile fondly on the girl, but it diminished slightly, realizing that the worst was still yet to come. The administration sector of Nifelheim was nothing compared to their destination and there was a very real possibility that every last trace of the girl's good will would evaporate with it.

"Whoa, what the hell is that?!" The exclamation drew the grand Demoness' attention away from her own concerns. She found the martial artists nearly hanging off the side of the buggy, staring at a twisted three pronged spire nestled between the skyscrapers. A kaleidoscope of roiling green energy drifted skyward at the black spire's center, dissipating before reaching the cavern's upper altitudes.

"That," Hild emphasized, sidling along side Ranma. "Is the Nidhogg up link, Hell's super computer."

"No shit?" Ranma continued to stare as incredulity seeped into her voice. She turned back to Hild, who was now leaning alongside her. "Hell has a _super computer?"_

"We also have a a great Italian Ristorante a few kilometers east of here," She commented offhand. "They make an exquisite ravioli pasta."

Her humor was lost on the martial artist, whose eyes were already riveted on Nifelheim's next major landmark: A pair of towering black iron gates carved into the cavern walls. While it was obvious they were still a ways away from the structure itself, the fact that it had hazy clouds floating around it gave Ranma some idea of just how high they really were.

"The Gates of Mordor, our destination."

"Whoa." The redhead effused, barely managing to pull her eyes away from the massive iron wrought artifact. "And you're tellin' me you run this entire place?"

"Every square meter." Hild nodded, idly noting the girl's reaction. Ranma nodded appreciably and went back to her sight seeing, pleasing the Mistress of Hell further. It was one of the things she did like about the child; The ability to be amazed without being reduced to a puddle of awe, let alone indulge in hero worship.

"So what's behind the gate, anyway?" Ranma asked as her eyes were invariable drawn back to the cavern's dominant landmark.

"The Hell everybody reads about," The Grand Demoness debated briefly on how to field the question and quickly decided that the direct approach most fitted the redhead beside her. She was, after all, a quite direct person herself. "Quite literally the damned, replete with torture, fire and brimstone."

"So basically where Happosai is gonna end up is what yer saying."

"Quite." A chuckle escaped Hild's lips, declining to mention _that_ particular soul had already been hers for a _long_ time now.

* * *

"**L**evel fourteen."

Eight bit music echoed within the confines of the dojo as two childhood friends rotated and coaxed digital blocks of various geometric shapes into patterns, hoping to form a complete line before the next one dropped. Urd, Goddess of the Past Category Two scowled at her counterpart's announcement and missed a crucial drop point, leaving a massive gap in her pattern and forcing a desperate workaround. Regardless of the state of her particular game, she wasn't about to let mother's lapdog one-up her.

"Oh yeah?" She pasted on a condescending smile, staring back at Mara. "_Sixteen_."

...Two levels better than her actual game at the moment.

"Im-_Impossible!_" The blonde's cheek twitched, all but burning the Goddess down with a dagger laden glare. She held it for a moment, then redoubled her efforts, mashing the Gameboy's buttons furiously in a feverish attempt to catch up to her arch-rival's pace. Her efforts caused her to wobble to and fro, inadvertently bumping the goddess next to her with an elbow. Urd growled and returned the elbow in kind, quickly turning their eight bit grudge match physical while a small, angry spark danced between the women. Blocks dropped at a blurring pace on the monochromatic screen now as the infernal and divine devoted their full potential on the hand held units, occasionally sending menacing glares back at one another. Soon, the Gameboys began to smoke.

"Seventy three!"  
"Oh yeah?! Seventy Four!"  
"FIVE!"  
"SIX!!!"  
"Seventy Seven!"  
"Is that it?! EIGHTY!"  
"Grrrrrr....!"

_"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."_

Both women blinked as the voice intruded on their respective games, causing a fatal lapse that ended with the words "GAME OVER" appearing on their screens, accompanied by a sad tune.

"Well shit," Mara frowned staring at the small screen with disgust.

_"I don't think you want to be standing in our way, Sugar."  
"Spatula girl right. Too too inconvenient if have to go through you."  
"I must concur with the peasants on this regard, Tendo. Stand aside."_

"Who the heck?" Urd mumbled with irritation, giving her device one last look before turning her attention to the closed door and commotion beyond. "Some kind of fight?"

"Just the Tendo chick," The blonde demoness sniffed with humor. "Thinks she's going to pull one over on the Boss."

"You're kidding." The goddess stood up, looking down at Mara's impassive expression. It grew into a smile. "You're not."

_"Look I promised--"  
"It would be most unfortunate if we were to have to force our way through you, Tendo."  
"Damn right."  
"Is true."_

"Dammit, Mother..." Urd fumed, shaking her head. "Looks like I'm going to have to bail that girl out before she--"

"Too late."

Urd froze halfway to the sliding dojo door. She turned around almost mechanically to face her counterpart, now standing with an malicious grin on her face. "What... did you say?"

"Signed, sealed, and depending on your mother's pleasure," Mara ticked off the steps on three fingers, "...delivered."

The Goddess of the Past stared, her head snapping back to the unseen commotion beyond and back. "But... she can't do that! She can't initiate a contract like that! Not directly!"

"Are you kidding?" Mara chuckled, walking up to her friend with all the arrogance in the world. "The _girl _propositioned _Hild_. They bargained, Boss gave her the credentials and the rest, as they say, is history. Every single bit of it was by the book."

Urd gaped at the demoness for a good ten seconds before regaining her wits. "She broke the contract?"

It wasn't even really a question and Mara nodded, still smirking. "Didn't even last a ten minutes."

Something small died inside Urd as she considered the her childhood friend's words. On one hand she knew her mother. She could sell a space heaters to people dying of thirst in the desert, but she was also bound by _very_ specific rules. Not only couldn't she initiate a contract herself, she was required to work her influence through agents. Likewise, she had to announce who she was and her intentions clearly... _Unless somebody comes to her first,_ Urd frowned. Sure, it was easy to saddle her mother with the blame, but along with it went mortal responsibility. _For the contractee to cave within ten minutes... What had mother offered the girl?_

"Twenty seven thousand." Mara quoted the figure, divining the Goddess' own thoughts precisely.

Urd nearly fell over. _Twenty seven... _That wasn't just her mother's corrupting influence, much as she hated to admit the fact; certainly not aloud. While she wasn't a psychologist per se, several millennia of working around humans had given her a pretty deep understanding of their behavior, and she knew without a doubt that sort of mentality pointed to some self destructive, intrinsically fatal flaw in the girl's character. She knew, but that didn't make her feel any better about it.

"First the gender jock and now the girl out there," She shook her head bitterly. "Kami, what the_ heck _is wrong with the people in this ward?"

**THUD.**

The sliding door crashed open as if to answer her question directly, admitting one purple haired Chinese girl in silks, another Japanese girl in an obi and tights and a final clad merely in a black leotard. The white haired Goddess noted that all three were armed and their expressions told her they were here on business. Behind them, another girl with a bobbed haircut slid in with an apologetic look.

"I tried to stop them, but--" The girl stopped, tilting her head and staring at the goddess neutrally. "You're not the same one."

"Hey, where's Ran-chan!"  
"New fiancee not welcome!"  
"The white-haired harlot will suffer for her trespass!"

Urd's cheek twitched, turning to Mara. "Don't suppose you want to fill me in...?"

"And who are you?!" The Chinese girl glared at Mara, who was already sidling off to the side.

The demoness waived her off innocently. "Oh, me? You don't need to know who I am."

"I don't care who she is," The spatula wielding girl growled. "Where's my Ran-chan?!"

"I'm not the woman you're looking for," Mara protested with a weak smile and nonchalant wave of her hand.

"The peasant is not who we seek," The leotard wrapped teen, frowned, pulling a purple ribbon taught and refocusing on the blonde's partner. "_She_ is."

"I'll just go about my business. Over here." The demoness pointed, wandering off to the side and out of the line of fire.

"I suggest you do that, Sugar," The other teen hefted her battle spatula, eyes solely focused on the remaining goddess.

"Traitor," Urd snarled out of the corner of her mouth. Mara simply shrugged, leaning against the far dojo wall as the girls arrayed themselves against Urd. She sighed wearily, turning back to the girls. "Look, I don't know what your beef is, but--"

"Dispense with your witless prattle, Harlot," Kodachi interrupted, snapping her ribbon for emphasis. "We have _heard_ of your designs on my Stallion."

"_My_ Ran-chan," Ukyo correct, twirling her spatula idly. Implicit with the action was the promise of physical violence. "And we're not going to let a hussy like_ you_ steal him away in secret."

"Wait," Urd interjected, nearly unable to believe her ears and putting a finger to her own ample, tan chest. "You think _me_... and the _kid_...?"

"Don't play stupid with Amazon warrior," Shampoo pointed one of her two maces at the woman accusingly. "Shampoo no let hentai woman lust after Airen!"

Off to the side, Nabiki Tendo watched the tragedy play out before her. The woman was similar- _damn similar_ -to the description she had given Junko, who had in turn passed it on to the fiancees for a nominal fee. It was _not_ her however, and Nabiki struggled with how play this newest development. Her first inclination was to let it ride; let the girls have their fun and play whatever angle presented itself on the back side, but she was lacking one vital piece of information... _Such as who the hell is that new girl, anyway?_ Her gaze swept from the bickering faction and over to the blonde watching the scene from the adjacent wall. _The assistant_, she mentally labeled the only remaining constant besides herself in the game. Nabiki checked her decision and walked over to the woman, ready to interrogate her...

..._subtly_ of course.

"I tried to stop them," Nabiki began apologetically, motioning to the escalating fiancees. "But like I warned your boss--"

"Save it for somebody who gives a rats ass," Mara replied tersely, barely bothering to acknowledge the Tendo's presence.

The rude interruption left Nabiki blinking and she waited for further explanation to be forthcoming. Nothing came, so she ventured forth herself. "So then... Who's that?"

Mara turned away from the commotion, acknowledging Nabiki for the first time. Instead of the answers she sought, a slow, malevolent smile spread across the blonde's face. That pretty much said it all for Nabiki, who suppressed her own frown. _She knows. Playing her own angle?_ The mercenary puzzled over the new development. Either way, she knew she was now dealing with a _critical _lack of information, which would mean that it was probably best to abort the current operation until...

"You shall be punished for those words, loathsome tart!"

_...Too late_. Nabiki watched at the Kodachi lunged, two gymnastics pins separating from her person with the movement. The airborn clubs spun and suddenly sprouted spikes, but were easily batted away by the tanned woman. The middle sister raised an eyebrow as she executed the blurring movements, also rendering a whipping from the girl's ribbon impotent. Nabiki wouldn't have pegged the woman to be a martial artist, but in some sense, it figured. _Who else would Genma scam into a marriage?_ She thought rhetorically. It would also figure the woman was a martial artist, and a twin to boot. Either way, it hardly mattered. Much as she didn't like the prospect of being in the dark, she had a firm stance on involving herself in fiancee violence; That is to say 'no' for exactly this very reason.

Kodachi's ribbon disappeared with the next attempt, rendered to dust the moment it touched Urd's person. Ukyo took that as her cue to take up the slack. A flight of three mini spatulas spun in from opposite vectors, all neatly dispatched by the yawning white haired woman. They clattered to the wooden floor- one at Nabiki's own feet -and the Okonomiyaki master charged forward to press her opponent's distracted state, only to find her not so distracted. The edge of the battle spatula blurred down on Urd and she simply raised her right hand, grabbing the flat and stopping its momentum cold. Ukyo's eyes widened and she attempted to withdraw, only to find the weapon all but cemented in the woman's grasp.

Urd adopted a thoroughly bored look. "Come on, let's all stop this before somebody gets themselves--"

"Hiyah!" A shadow enveloped the goddess and she looked up to find the poofy haired Amazon, leaping over the girl before her in an elaborate flip that threatened to bring both of the rainbow colored maces down on her head. Urd rolled her eyes and stepped out of the way, releasing the spatula while evading the initial pummeling; bonbori carving the air her face had previously occupied. Shampoo landed in a crouch, thrusting a spinning mace into the tanned woman's torso. Urd simply stepped aside and grabbed the shaft itself, stopping the weapon's spin as easily as she had the other girl's.

The weapon stopped and it's torque transferred back into it's wielder who hadn't expected the sudden and complete reversal of her offensive. The force nearly pulled Shampoo's shoulder from its socket and she suddenly found herself cartwheeling across the room, stopped only by the thick beams of the dojo wall.

"--gets hurt," Urd winced with the impact and shook her head. "I'm not sure what you think is going on here but it doesn't involve me and it _really_ needs to stop."

"It'll stop when you haul ass out of Nerima, Sugar." Ukyo retorted bringing her battle spatula back up with one hand and sliding three more shuriken into the other. Shampoo shook the impact off and slowly stood upright, slowly testing her own balance. The Amazon was now down to one rainbow mace and she glared icy death into the Goddess while Kodachi stepped up alongside her with her own malevolent gaze, twirling a razor edged hula hoop she has somehow acquired.

Urd, Goddess of the Past category two tossed her newly acquired bonbori aside, shaking her head with simmering irritation.

She was really beginning to _hate_ this prefecture.

* * *

**T**he gates only got more impressive the closer they got, and Ranma was beginning to develop a crick in her neck just looking up at them. They were imposing, two and a half kilometer high black plates of steel with rivets the size of small apartments and jagged bus sized spikes seemingly interspersed at random along its length. Closing on the gate had also meant leaving the city, and little more than rock and dust remained along their current path of travel, though the growing number of tents and haggard refugee-like populace that had been increasing in numbers were beginning to perk the redhead's curiosity.

"What's with these guys?" Ranma jabbed a thumb out at the destitute populace as their carriage continued on by. It was also impossible not to notice the distinct lack of eye contact they were receiving as they drove by. "Looks like they got the shit kicked out of them."

"Gate keepers," Hild nodded, barely paying attention to the meandering crowd of mixed demons and humans. "Those things don't open themselves, you know."

"Ouch," Ranma winced slightly, looking from the populace around them and back up at the solid steel gates. However much they weighed, the martial artist was pretty certain she couldn't count that high, and turned back to Hild. "So what did they screw up to deserve that?"

"They missed the cut," Hild explained patiently, pleased that her charge already clearly understood the concept of failure and consequence. "Not good enough to pass into heaven, nor truly evil; certainly not enough to deserve what's on the _other_ side of the gate."

"So they just hang out here forever?"

"Or until they've cleansed their karma enough to get reborn," The Daimakaichō nodded. "This job is for those just... _passing through_, so to speak."

"Nothin' yankin on a huge ass gate won't cure, I suppose," Ranma mused, rolling the implications of karma and damnation around in her brain.

Hild nearly choked with the comment, chuckling at the girl. "Quite, Ranma-chan. Quite. In any case, we have arrived."

The carriage pulled up to the gates and Ranma's eyes immediately locked on to the guards. There were only two, but it was plainly obvious that both were more than capable of dealing with the crowd milling around the gate. They were the quintessential demons according to Ranma's world view, sporting slate gray skin stretched over a wall of muscle... All four meters of them and their thick crimson plate armor. Each was armed with a massive runed double headed battle axe while they scanned their posts for threats with beady eyes and a single spike horn jutting from skull.

Ranma instinctively sized up the threat they represented and dismissed them as quickly as she had considered them. While there really wasn't any question as to whether she could deal with them or not, she had honestly been expecting something more... _formidable_ guarding the gates of Hell. _But, then, who's gonna be breaking _in_ to Hell, anyway_, she decided, watching as their driver brought the transport to a halt and abandon his seat at the reigns. He circled around to Hild's side of the buggy and opened the door with a respectful bow. The Grand Demoness acknowledged the effort with slight smile to indicate her approval and stepped out, her attention on the closest guard. The pair of demons snapped to ridged attention.

"Gates, please."

"Yes, Mistress!" The second guard nodded stiffly, grounding the battle axe and retrieving a short, funnel-like horn wrapped in gold and jewels. It put the funnel to its lips and with a deep breath. It's already formidable muscle mass swelled and it expelled that atmospheric volume into the horn, translating the exhalation into a low, mournful sound that vibrated straight through Ranma's body and rolled around across the cavern plains like a tidal wave. The effect was instantaneous as the shanty town suddenly exploded with life, refugees running to and fro like so many ants erupting from a hill. Ranma watched as massive chains were dragged from underground storage and latched into tunnel sized eyelets and fastened into place with equally large bolts by platoons of workers; each side fastening ten such black iron chains to the gate.

And then the yanking began.

Hundreds of the of people swarmed over the chains themselves and drum beats began to sound signaling the beginning of their labor. The gates groaned mournfully, the earth vibrating and the thick slabs of metal began to open lethargically. Ranma shook her head with the labor. She was no stranger to manual labor, but this was literally back breaking. _And the gates haven't even opened yet!_ She watched as their efforts only yielded more of its depth while Hild herself simply watched with a bemused expression. Ranma dismounted the buggy and stepped up the Daimakaichō, thoroughly impressed by the effort being put forth before them.

"Damn, sucks to be them," Ranma commented with marginal sympathy, watching as the first glimpse of the world beyond began to appear. It was a mere sliver in the open gates, but the light filtering through it was an angry, smoldering orange. Sulfurous smoke began to billow through the breach, scalding those at the head of the chains as they made slow progress toward opening the monstrous slabs of iron. The redhead arched an eyebrow. "So... we're just going to walk in there?"

"One does not simply _walk _into Mordor, Ranma-chan," The martial artist looked at her with a questioning look. Suddenly, a gust of wind nearly blew her off her feat and Ranma braced with the dust storm that enveloped her. When it cleared, She nearly fell flat on her butt, staring up at what could only be described as a gigantic black dragon; daggered spikes and plate armored scales covering it from head to toe.

"What... what the hell!?"

"One actually _flies_ there," She confirmed, walking up to the dragons huge, coal black snout. "In style, of course."

_"Hild-sama..."_ The massive beast's whispering rumble vibrating through Ranma's bones. _"How may I serve?"_

The tanned demoness walked around the dragon's massive triangular head, caressing its beak affectionately. "We require transport, old friend."

_"We..." _Glowing embers within the creature's facing eye socket tightened, focusing on the girl still standing warily way. _"The Saotome child... Interesting."_

It took a moment for the words to process through Ranma's brain and when they did he nearly couldn't believe the implications herself. "You... _know_ me?"

_"Yesss..."_ The full massive of the dragon's horned cranium turned on her, allowing the dragon to focus on her with both eyes now. _"Your name... comes up... in certain... circles... little one..."_

Hild watched the conversation with a humor glint in her eyes as Ranma chewed the fact that a dragon new her name. The surprise on her face quickly faced into suspicion. "Don't suppose I'm gonna have to kick these circles asses at a later date, am I?"

The black dragon cocked it's head, eyeing the diminutive human before it as if it were a morsel to be eaten. When Ranma failed to be moved, it rose up upon its haunches and flexed it's wings, baring down on the martial artist as if to pounce. She stared back with thinly veiled boredom, hands in her pocket. Inside, her heart was _racing._ Every time she came across a dragon _anything_, it meant an all out _war_. After the girl failed to run around in panic, it snorted hot sulfuric breath down on her and turned the long twine of its neck on Hild. This time his whispering rumble had the slightest hint of humor therein. _"She does not... disappoint. She... may ride me..."_

"High praise, but come now," Hild nodded, beckoning the girl over as the dragon itself dipped it's neck low. The Queen of hell straddled the beast easily between a major armored plate, motioning Ranma to join her. The redhead retained her wariness for moment before shrugging and stepping up to the neck herself, scaling herself into position. "Ready?" Ranma gave Hild a stiff nod, not exactly trusting her own voice at the moment. After all, not only had the dragon not tried to kill her in any way, shape or form yet, but she was also to _ride_ it. "Then take us up, Neltharion-kun!"

No sooner had she uttered the words than Ranma was subjected to four gravities of upward acceleration as the massive black dragon pushed of into the sky, aided by the first downward stroke of its equally large wings. Another stoke and she estimated they had already cleared a good two hundred meters in altitude while the workers below continued to pull the gates open. The opening still wasn't wide enough to fit anything as large as the creature she was riding through, so it continued to circle, gaining altitude. With the gate lacking much in the way of decisive movement, Ranma turned over her other shoulder to find the metropolis of Nifelheim in the distance. It was obvious the cavern had it's own odd weather system with the view and her eyes picked the spackles of clouds winding around each of the dozens of pillars that touched both cavern ceiling an floor while the Nidhogg up link glowed within the city core.

Her impressed whistle was lost to the wind, but Hild saw the pucker of lips from behind her easily enough and smiled, all but resigning herself to the fate that certainly lie beyond the gates that had almost opened wide enough admit their transport. _Nice while it lasts_, she admitted glumly, but kept her pleasant countenance for the girl before her. The chances of whatever relationship they had build up surviving beyond those gates was barely worth commenting on, but the company of something other than a yes-man and play toy was... welcome.

_"We go."_

Those two rumbling words were Ranma's only warning as the dragon suddenly dipped into a tight left bank and she dug her formidable grip into the armored plate she was sitting on. Neltharion oriented on the Gates of Mordor below and pulled it's wings in, dumping altitude like guided missile. The giant black dragon punched through the meager cloud cover, trailing vapor off the folds of its wings while Ranma held on for dear life, Hild riding serenely behind with her long white hair trailing back into the the slipstream.

_"**RAAAARRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"**_

Neltharion bellowed as it blasted through the meager opening of the gates provided, transversing from the relatively clear atmosphere into the smoldering glow of hell itself before breaking it's minimal drag profile to break the dive and regain altitude. The wings themselves came unfurled and the dragon was carried aloft on thermal energy alone, allowing a panoramic view of the land itself.

"Welcome to Hell, Ranma," Hild noted, all traces of humor gone from her voice though the redhead hardly noticed. The dive in had been exhilarating enough and now the molten, super heated landscape below was occupying her full attention. The Mistress of Hell itself watched the girl's back in an almost impassive manner. _Might as well get this over with_, she decided grimly, hoping for a quick end to her own personal torment. "The Pit, Neltharion-kun. Give us the grand tour."

The beast's only reply was to bleed altitude and descend down among the terrain itself, dipping low across the lava blasted lands with the powerful strokes of it's spindly black wings. Ranma could pick out detail among the heat scarred crags, and much of that detail was grim. Lines of humanoid figures -- most nude -- trekked across the blistering landscape that was by every indication molten in nature while demonic task masters accompanied them, shepherding the groups with weapons of fire. They streaked by as Neltharion banked off, descending sharply into a canyon of molten lava. While the glowing orange mass of superheated fury was more than enough to catch Ranma's attention, it was another standout that had her gaping.

_People._

They were buried -- No, _embedded_, she corrected herself as they blurred by -- into the sheer cliff walls. _Thousands_ _upon thousands._ Even with the rush of wind, she could hear the wailing as the dragon wound through the canyon lake. The heat she imagined was bad enough... Watching the lake burp molten lava high into the air and into the entombed damned, burning them quite literally alive was damn near horrifying. Flesh melted away with the cascade of liquid fire, leaving animated skeletons that still continued to thrash with pain. Ranma turned back to Hild for some form of explanation; something to tell her what was going on, and instead found the woman's purple eyes cold with purpose. The expressionless demoness met the martial artists own stare without emotion and Ranma tilted her head studying her.

_What is going through your mind, little one?_ Hild wondered behind the facade, genuinely curious as to what that penetrating gaze of hers was reading in her. Ranma held her study another moment longer before turning back to the ghoulish view... _With purpose?_ The woman wondered as Ranma didn't turn away from the torturous sight as she expected, let alone squirm with the visage racing past them. Instead, she watched, then watched some more as Neltharion turned its head lazily to the left and torched a section of the passing wall with a gout of flame. More screams pitched and faded with the act and the dragon floated up and out of the canyon, coming to bear on a wide, flat plateau in the middle of a sea of lava.

A number of curved Black obelisks hooked into the sky around the plateau, as if the land mass were within the grasp of black talons. At at it's center was a hole... A massive _pit_. Neltharion circled the site twice, giving Ranma a clear view of bottomless pit and the people milling around it._ Victims,_ she surmised due to the crimson, gangling demons chasing the nearly nude humans around. Beyond the pit was a single structure- a throne whose back rest stretched almost as high as the black talons themselves, but was found to be topped by a single ethereal orange eye, it's slitted pupil darting too and fro as it surveyed the horizon beyond. The glowing eye tracked them for a moment before moving on and the dragon rode the silent wind in for its touchdown. Feet from the ground the dragon suddenly reared back as if to avoid the single human that had not managed to clear his landing area in time. He floated a moment on the back beat of his wings before snatching the slow biped and flicking it into the pit. Neltharion's landing was accompanied by the man's pathetic howl as he flailed through the air, disappearing into the gaping abyss.

Ranma just sat there, barely able to accept that the beast she had just ridden to their destination had just so casually disposed of another life. _Several_ lives if she counted the flaming of the canyon wall. Hild slipped off the scaled drake, watching the crimson demons of her own design chase down more people and herd them into the pits, where they fell either whole or in part depending on their level of cooperation. Ranma hopped off after her, crystalline blue staring into the white haired woman's back.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" The Daimakaichō turned back to her with an arched eyebrow, still sporting the same all business countenance.

The martial artists gaze narrowed, indicating just how thin her patience was wearing._ An ass kicking and even yanking on a giant slab of metal was one thing, but this... It was pure, unmitigated torture, and Hild..._ "Look, I don't claim to be a genius but I've been around enough sensei in my time to know when one is trying to make a point. This stuff is pretty screwed up, so what's yours?"

The Mistress of hell took the girls measure and added another notch of respect in her regard. _There is a point, child and best I get to it before you get the wrong idea._ "The tour... Hell... Everything... I need you to understand exactly what I do, Ranma-chan. This place is not simply a holding tank for the misbehaved. It is _eternal damnation_ and those finding themselves here are treated as such."

The woman turned, crossing the distance to the pit while Ranma noted that demons and their prey alike made a wide berth of her. She looked down into the empty black and spoke. "Ogdru, is Oscar-kun down there?" Her voice echoed down into the abyss into nothingness and she frowned after another minute of silence. "If you do not awaken, Ogdru Hem, I shall flood your abode with molten lava and coat your slug-like remains with salt."

A low, mournful groan met her threat.

"Better," She nodded to the pit with satisfaction. "Now is Saint-Just down there or not?"

The atmosphere vibrated with another bassy rumble.

"Then bring him up," The woman snapped. "And hoist that jackass Samil up with him."

An oily slither echoed from the bottom the blackness and Hild turned away from it, angling off to the throne beyond. The humans scattered and demons bowed as she walked through the riotous mass, paying little mind to their antics. "Come, Ranma-chan. I have somebody I would like to introduce you to."

Ranma followed the Grand Demoness, warily eying the demons and their panic stricken victims as both now looked upon her with the same respect and terror as the woman she trailed behind. _Damn creepy,_ she decided, but endured. _As long as I get an answer soon..._ Hild to three small steps up to the black leather and ivory throne, settling in with an easy smile, motioning Ranma next to her who in turn shrugged and took the proffered position but with crossed her arms. Just as Ranma was about to question what they were doing, a mass of oil black tentacles rose from the pit, writhing and slither over flesh. No..._ A man? _She watched as it continued to snake around his body quite literally _violating_ him in every way shape and form before her very eyes. Ranma's eyes were the size of dish plates now as she stared... _Gawked_ at the sight.

"_What... the..._."

"You've had your fun, Ogdru," Hild spoke calmly, and the martial artist got the distinct impression she wasn't referring to the guy. "Put Oscar down so that we may speak to him."

The tentacles found the ledge before the women easily enough, depositing him with careful precision. Its coils withdrew, leaving the huddling, slime encased adult to his fate.

"Saint-Just." Hild's deceptively light voice cause the main to recoil, shivering at the black marble lip of the pit. For a moment, Ranma couldn't tell which the man preferred, the thing in the pit or Hild. Apparently the matter was reconciled within what was left of the stranger's psyche and he took up at the pair, his eyes darting almost imperceptibly at the demoness' companion before focusing fully on Hild herself.

"Y...Y...Yes, Daimakaichō-sama?"

"That, Ranma-chan, is Oscar Saint-Just." Hild's smile widened and she pushed herself off the throne, walking around the man; her entire demeanor gloating. "He was once the right hand man of a dictatorship and then the dictator himself." She paused, chuckling at the man as if sharing a private joke. "Politics and all that, right Oscar-kun?" The man shuffled back away from the white haired woman and Ranma got her first clear glimpse of this particular victim; a prominent nose, blackened sleep deprived eyes, the makings of a permanent five-o'clock shadow and -- The martial did a double take, staring at the bullet hole in his forehead. "Anyway, Saint-Just here didn't just rule an empire... he was either directly and indirectly responsible for well over a million deaths... Sure his buddy called the shots at first, but Oscar pulled the strings. Assassinations, poisonings, political cullings... All for the greater good. He was literally in a position to stop a truely massive war, but instead fueled it mercilessly."

"Shit."

"Shit, indeed," Hild nodded with Ranma's single word observation. "In fact, you could say his influence is still being felt. That war is still going and his machinations are still being felt. How is that for irony? The man was assassinated, shot in the head and forfeited his soul. He's here in hell now and _still _killing people out there." The Mistress of hell looked back at Ranma who was watching the drama play out before her with wide eyes, thoughts churning behind them. "Needless to say, we've done our best to make him feel right at home."

A tanned arm flashed out, catching the man's head before he could jerk away and unceremoniously pushed him back over the edge of the pit. She turned back to Ranma without another thought to the man, whose scream down was suddenly intercepted by a sickening, splurching sound far sooner than the bottom could have possibly been reached. She couldn't help but to acknowledge the shiver that sound produced within and waited for Hild to continue.

"Do you see where this is going, Ranma-chan?" The Grand Demoness didn't look back, instead opting to view the edge of the pit. "Ogdru, pull Samil up now."

The gaping hole began to slurp nauseously and the black, oily tentacles rose forth one more. Ranma fought the blanch that threatened to overtake her as they deposited another man gently upon the pits edge after withdrawing to hover above him. He was a black man, she noted, covered in slime like the last. The novelty of his skin tone was superseded by the the look of abject horror on his face as he scampered away from the motherly tentacles, only to stop cold as he noted the woman in his path.

"H...Hi...Hild...!"

"And I had thought you would forget me," The Daimakaichō smiled sweetly, beckoning Ranma to her side. The martial artist complied with extreme reluctance. "Have you enjoyed your two years with Ogdru-chan?"

"Neeehhh... no! Please no more!" The man wheezed with a heavy African accent. One of the smaller tentacles dipped in to caress his cheek in an almost loving manner and the broken man hastily batted it away.

"If you continue like that, you may hurt her feelings," Hild emoted feigned sympathy with a frown while the tentacle hovered above him eagerly. The grand Demoness turned to Ranma in an offhanded manner. "This is Samil Ortega, born and raised in an unimportant backwater village in Africa. He was impressed into one of the military gangs at an early age and swore his fealty to the local warlord, looting and pillaging at his master's behest."

The redhead stared at the pathetic man, barely able to envision that he could have possibly amounted to anything more than the husk before her.

"Samil-chan rose through the ranks as monsters tend to do, and while one could ultimately blame his environment, he openly ignored the divine spark placed within his being and embraced the lifestyle," The Daimakaichō continued in an almost bored manner. "Samil raped and murdered his way to the top, earning his leaders favor until dispatching him with a car bomb in the middle of a crowded market place. From there he began to systematically exterminate the tribal villages around him in a genocidal campaign to consolidate his power base. Men... Women... Children... It didn't matter."

Ranma's blue gaze hardened, her sympathy rapidly evaporating for the ex-warlord whose eyes were darting to and fro as if seeing invisible ghosts on the edge of his vision.

"Samil also had a thing for small children." Hild's boredom deepened into a serious frown. "He would routinely cull the villages before burning them down. He would kill their parents, _use_ the children and discard them if they were lucky. If not..." her shrug said all that needed to be said. "Needless to say, the local population was quite relieved when an anonymous surgical air strike from one of the larger countries levelled his compound with him inside."

Hild turned away from the frail ex-warlord with contempt, walking back to her throne. It took her several steps to realize that the redhead had not accompanied her. She turned, finding the girl still staring into the cowering man. _What are you thinking, child?_

As it turned out, Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of martial arts was thinking thoughts she had never once considered before in her meager sixteen and a half years of life. She was a martial artist, defender of the weak and the man kneeling before her was the complete antithesis of that very concept. Oh sure, the other guy was a mass murderer too, but this one... he _specifically targeted_ the weak and innocent. _Child rapist_, Ranma's ideology connected with a fury that she had never felt before. If there was one thing the child of Genma Saotome would never be accused of it would be emotional ambiguity and at that very moment, the martial artist who had faced innumerable rivals and martial arts challenges was seriously considering an option she had never availed herself of: ripping the life out of the man she was staring down.

...if not for the fact that he was already dead.

That thought alone added its own wrinkle the emotional storm raging within her. The guy was already dead. In fact, Hild was already torturing the jackass with methods far worse than she could dream up, as evidenced by the midnight black tentacles hanging expectantly over his person. The thought, however, didn't stop the wave of killing intent from cresting within her, causing Hild's eyes to widen in surprise as she watched.

"You're lucky I didn't stumble across your ass while you were still alive," The girl very nearly growled, fixing Samil with a hateful glare. The man began to whimper with the wave of focused hatred though try as she might, she couldn't think of anything worse to do to him than was already being done. She looked up at the nearest tentacle floating patiently overhead with that thought in mind.

"He's all yours."

Horror enveloped Samil's face and she turned to walk away. This time, the sickening slurp that followed didn't even faze her.

* * *

"**I**'ll... see... (huff) you... defeated... (huff) harlot!"

Urd, Goddess of the Past simply arched a doubtful eyebrow at the leotard clad girl sprawled on the dojo mat. The garment itself held the sheen of sweat from intense physical exertion, evidenced by the fact that she was using her gymnastics baton slash spear in a vain attempt to remain upright. Ukyo and Shampoo were in similar conditions if only on opposite sides of the dojo. All three had gone all out against the perceived fiancee threat, only to have their efforts deflected or turned against them time and again. The trio scowled from their positions but produced little else in the way of hostile effort; their various weapons scattered across the dojo mat like so many child's toys. The white haired goddess rolled her eyes and turned back to Mara who had been watching the entire spectacle with a bemused expression.

"Will you tell them that I am _not_ the gender jock's fiancee?"

"I have _no idea_ what you're talking about," The blonde demoness and right hand of Hild shook her head cluelessly. Mara then turned the the short haired girl next to her with warped smile. "Do _you_ know what she's talking about?"

Nabiki Tendo fought off the sinking pit in her stomach, forcing the emotion from her face. Of course she knew what the woman was talking about, but it was far too late to reverse her position within the scheme she herself had set in motion. _Sure Tendo_, she berated herself mentally. _Go head and explain to the homicidal fiancees that this isn't the same woman. It's just her uncanny body double, and here's your money back while I'm at it_.

"No idea at all."

"Uh-huh." Urd fixed Nabiki with a dry look, clearly doubting her word. She turned back to the largely inert fiancees in waiting. "Let me make this absolutely clear... I am not interested in him. Or _her_ for that matter."

"That's right," Mara pointed out. "You all must have her mistaken for her evil twin."

"Right," The Okonomiyaki master scowled. "Tell us another one."

Urd shot a glare over to the innocent looking demoness. "You're _not_ helping."

"Jeez, strike me down for being a good samari--" Mara's self indulgent humor was cut short by the dojo door sliding open. All eyes turned upon the visage of Akane Tendo who in turn stared upon the people in her family dojo, two strangers, three rivals and one sister.

"What the hell is going on in here?!"

"Akane-chan," Nabiki acknowledge, hoping to head off her particular involvement in this mess. She stepped over to her sister and began to pull her back out the door. "It's probably best we--"

"That woman is trying to steal Ranma away!" Ukyo seized the moment to enlist another to her cause, and Nabiki's pulling at her sister's sleeve suddenly ceased to be effective.

"Akane, you do not want to--"

"Spatula girl right!" Shampoo chimed in. "White hair woman try to bed Airen!"

"We shall not allow it!" Kodachi rounded out their proclamation.

"You've got to be kidding!" Each verbal accusation fell against Akane's ears, serving only to increase her irritation. What she heard was that some woman was trying to take Ranma for herself. How those words were interpreted was another matter entirely. "That two timing, perverted, arrogant..."

"I AM NOT HIS FIANCEE!" Urd bellowed, clearly at her wits end.

"Evil twin," Mara inserted easily.

"YOU SHUT UP!" The Goddess whipped around, finding the blonde staring innocently at the ceiling.

Urd turned back to her audience. "I never have nor ever will want that supremely annoying, egotistical martial arts spore as a fiancee!"

"Indeed, your braying sounds much like the peasant Tendo," Kodachi rolled her eyes, far from oblivious to the toes she was stepping on.

"What?!"  
"Hey!"

"She's got a point, Sugar," Ukyo chuckled even as she dragged her battle spatula across the dojo mat and back to her person. After the half hour ass whooping, she was more than happy to poke the stranger's ego with a stick. Including Akane in the same remark was simply icing on the proverbial cake. "Akane says that all the time too."

"Don't compare me to this hussy!" The youngest Tendo bristled back and the tanned woman's head whipped around. Nabiki watched the exchange, all but crying on the inside now as her sister's ego took one too many hits in an all too predictable fashion.

"Who are you calling a hussy?!"

"I'm calling you a hussy, hussy!" Akane spat back. "Only a hussy would be chasing after that pervert!"

"Oh, so I'm a pervert and a hussy now?" Urd scowled, prompting strands of lightning to crackle off her.

"Just calling it like I see it," the youngest Tendo sniffed with contempt, but stepped into an offensive stance with the display of power. Off to the side, the remaining fiancees watched eagerly as their newest ally unwittingly sided with them even if she was little more than a sacrificial pawn. Akane would undoubtedly go down in seconds and those seconds would be taken advantage of. Shampoo's eyes flicked over to Ukyo, who in turned nodded ever so slightly. Kodachi tensed up as well, awaiting the commencement of hostilities.

"And I'm seeing an overconfident, prepubescent little girl who has no idea what she's getting into," Urd shook her head, her cool gaze boring into the girl. "Could you possibly be any more dense on this?"

Akane Tendo's fist balled and a red aura snapped into place. The words that the other fiancees had been expecting since her arrival finally fell from the sister's mouth and they readied themselves.

"I, Akane Tendo of the Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling challenge you!"

* * *

**R**anma Saotome, Heir of the Anything Goes School of Martial arts was quite simply in heaven.

Well, not exactly.

But the redhead martial artist _was _currently surrounded by some of the best damn Italian food she had ever had the pleasure of sampling, and Hild was right: These old Italian guys made a _mean_ ravioli. Ranma eyed another one, but opted to plunge the fork she bore into the thick plate of spaghetti instead, slurping the noodles down without regard to decency or those looking on in either surprise or amusement. The girl looked up from her plate at Hild, who was definitely among the latter.

"Oh this is good," She decided between mouthfuls, licking sauce away from the edge of her lips. Around her, men in dapper black pinstripe suits chuckled at the girl's antics. Even the rounder cigar smoking mob boss in the corner of the establishment couldn't help but to smirk. "_Damn_ good."

Hild took a bite of her own cheese sauce smothered ravioli dish, sampling it delicately though definitely enjoying the scene before her. "I had you pegged for Italian the moment we met."

"Mmmf, mmmrrf." Ranma nodded. Hild wasn't sure what the mouthful of words and food had meant to convey, but the meaning was clear enough.

"And you, Hild-sama!" She turned to the chef who had been standing by to make sure his masterpieces were exactly that... Masterpieces. He was a portly fellow with a full face adorned by a curly mustache._ Like Santa Claus_, Ranma noted, if Santa Claus delivered fine Italian food instead toys, which was a far more acceptable arrangement to her anyway. By this point, the smallish horns peeking from his forehead were beyond her notice and his rolling accent continued to pitch against Ranma's ear. "You do nota visit enough! Look at you! You're wasting away to skin and bones!"

The Daimakaichō arched provocatively, affording the chef, his waiters and the other patrons a clear view of all she had to offer. She smiled with mischief as half the restaurant choked on their various dishes outright. "Is that what this is now? Skin and bones?"

"Uh.. er..." The plump chef's brain quickly emptied of all thought for a singular moment as skin tight black and pink Lycra hugged her curves and it was another moment before he returning back to his sense while Ranma nearly coughed up her own food laughing. "N-No, Hild sama! Most assuredly not! That is to say..."

"I swear that never gets old..." The redhead chortled as their audience recovered their wits. Another ravioli was promptly isolated and eliminated with prejudice by fork point.

"As if you're that far from that yourself, young one." Hild adopted a knowing, matronly tone. "But far be it for us to ignore your male aspect as well."

For the first since sitting down, Ranma Saotome's food intake paused. "Huh?"

"In my zeal, I've been focusing far too much on your female aspect," The Grand Demoness nodded. "Far be it for somebody I... _care_ about to not receive a well rounded education."

"Well... rounded...?" Ranma pieced the words together like the alien concept it was. What exactly did 'well rounded' mean and why did she suddenly feel a cold shiver propagate down her spine?

"Indeed," The woman nodded almost to herself. "Yes, I shall have Malcanthet see to it."

"Thanks, but--"

"Nonsense, it is the least I can do." The white haired female waved Ranma's hesitation away as inconsequential. "Speaking of which, your curse."

"My curse?" The change in topics caught Ranma completely off guard, sufficiently so that she failed to pursue the previous one.

"I have not been completely forthright with you, Ranma-chan, much as it pains me to admit." Hild's face fell into a mask of pained remorse. "You have opened yourself to me and I owe you this much."

"Dammit, I thought we went over this," Ranma shook her head with annoyance. "Told ya I would have kicked their asses too. Heck, you're doin' a better job at it than I could."

"Don't sell yourself short." Hild murmured to herself as the slightest smile creeped across her lips. Against all odds, the girl understood and it was a reprieve to her own conscience. Regardless, that bond didn't absolve her of her new responsibility to the girl. "I can break the curse, Ranma."

Ranma blinked, ceasing all movement. The fork she held slowly lowered to the plate of spaghetti.

"No silly mystical water, no magical henshin rods," The Daimakaichō elaborated patiently now that she had the martial artist's complete and undivided attention. "Breaking your Jusenkyo curse is mere child's play with the power at my disposal. Much as I shall miss the red hair, I would be remiss to allow that particular charade to continue."

Ranma's jaw simply hung as a collision of thoughts clogged her neural pathways. The fact that Hild had been playing her own games with the curse was accepted as a given and pushed to the side as the greater concept of an _actual cure_ forced its way through her through process. The note of regret held within Hild's voice was also cataloged, driving a wedge of doubt into what would otherwise be a foregone conclusion toward accepting her offer without reservation. She didn't exactly like the curse, true, but thanks to the woman across from her, she didn't _dislike_ it either... Certainly not to the degree she had loathed in starting out. Hild had shown her there was fun to be had with it and that was a product of short supply in the martial artist's life... And in a way, she was certain it was something that Hild needed as well. Ranma still wasn't certain of what had happened to divide the mother and daughter, but she knew scars when she saw them; especially when everybody around her carried them to one degree or another.

A gentle hand found her shoulder and Ranma snapped out of her thoughts with a start, finding Hild looking upon her knowingly. "I will survive, little one. Do what you must."

Hild watched the redhead wrestle with the decision for another couple of moments and couldn't help but to feel touched by her concern with each second of indecision that passed. She knew it was a major hurdle in Ranma's life and to see her very well being placed along side that was more than an honor. Finally, after several long minutes Ranma's eyes fell away from hers.

"I think I'm gonna take it."

"The fact that you even struggle over such a decision is nothing to be ashamed of," the Grand Demons smiled kindly. "Few have taken my well being into such consideration in a _very_ long time and that alone is enough." She paused, letting her purple eyes slide over to the restaurant patrons in attendance. "And if I ever get word that any of you spoken of this, I shall arrange for you all to be Gothmog's chew toy for the next few decades."

Their impromptu audience suddenly found their dishes and the food they contained magnitudes more interesting than the conversation shared by the Ruler of Hell and her guest.

"So it shall be," Hild nodded with a smile, finishing the last of her food and dabbing the edges of her lips with a napkin. "Allow me a day or so to brush up on the details... I must say I haven't touched a Jusenkyo type curse in years and I'd rather not go about experimenting it's removal on a good friend."

"I..." The curse. Removed. No strings attached. It was probably the single most valuable gift any one person could have bestowed upon her. There was no question where the woman herself in Ranma's life now. "It's... Thanks, Hild-san. It's really..."

"Posh," The white haired woman shook her head. "It's a wave of the finger, nothing more. Shall we get back to the dojo?"

Ranma broke out into a grin, nodding decisively. The redhead pushed away from the table and the attending waiter moved in to collect their plates. She began to follow Hild to the door but paused, looking back at the unfinished ravioli longingly. The chef noted the pause with a swell of pride and stepped up next to her.

"Shall I box the remainder for later, Daimakaichoko?"

"Oh yeah, definitely that." Ranma nodded, completely oblivious to her new title in favor of the promised food's later consumption.... Or the fond smile from Hild at the establishment's door.

* * *

_Poof!_

**M**ara's head swiveled with the sound, watching as fire displaced atmosphere to reveal the Daimakaichō chatting with her red headed pet project. The blonde demoness' eyes narrowed as she took in the details, the foremost of those being her superiors pleasant -- almost genuinely pleasant -- demeanor as she conversed with the red head. The sight caused Mara no small amount of dread as it represented a radical shift to the world as knew it... _Or just the boss yanking both of their respective chains_, she hedged mentally, then watched as both noticed the bodies.

"Oh, _wow_."

Ranma's blue eyes widened as they tracked across the floor, noting the bodies in question. Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi lay sprawled across the dojo bat at odd angles, obviously alive, but completely inert. _Asleep? _Ranma stared, also noting the males interspersed between them. Asleep at her feet were Ryoga, Kuno and Mousse, dropped to the floor at such an angle as if their puppeteer's strings had been cut. In the middle of the carnage stood Urd, who was clearly conscious and... _ruffled_. The woman's robes had seen the wear of combat and even her hair was failing to cooperate or fall in line with it's normal styling.

"I must say, daughter of mine," Hild smirked upon surveying the exact same visage as Ranma. "This is quite possibly your best work to date."

"YOU!" The Goddess of the Past whipped around, finally noting the new arrivals. "_You_ did this!"

"I did no such thing," The grand demoness replied, completely unperturbed by the accusation.

"You did!" Urd was ranting now, pointing at Nabiki who stood next to the far wall. "You _took_ her and arranged... _this_ to happen!"

"_Took_ her?" Hild arched a skeptical eyebrow in Nabiki's direction. "She practically leapt into my arms willingly, Urd-chan. Anything beyond that has little to do with me."

"Oh, I _doubt_ that," Ranma frowned as the angry Goddess pressed her case, causing Hild's own expression to clouded into one she recognized all too well. "You _knew._ Compromising mortal integrity is what you do best and you worked the angles, didn't you?"

"If you are implying that I somehow intended to involve you--"

"Save it," Urd snapped back, motioning to the slumbering occupants on the dojo floor. "Even if you by some miracle didn't want to involve me, you still managed to involve seven other innocent mortals in an all out brawl!"

This time Hild remained silent behind her stony countenance, but the redhead had had enough.

"Jeez... You're startin' to sound like the tomboy." Ranma rolled her eyes, then nudged the comatose Ryoga experimentally with a foot. The Goddess' focus moved sharply to her now. "And innocent my ass. They woulda did something like that all by themselves."

"Idiot!" Urd directed her full ire at the redhead. "Do you even realize the danger you're in!?"

"Danger?" Ranma blinked innocently, turning back to Hild. "I'm in danger?"

"Indeed child," Hild replied in all seriousness. "I am the Daimakaichō, the supreme ruler of Hell itself."

"Oh jeez," Ranma breathed a plainly exaggerated sigh of relief. "I thought it was somethin' serious." Hild blinked, then stifled a giggle at the girl's antics and watched as she turned back to Urd with a bored look. "Or was there anything _else_ I should be knowing about?"

Urd stared, practically gaping at the redhead now. _She knew!_ Her brain screamed indignantly. _She knew and was still cavorting around with mother!? _

"As much as I'm enjoying this..." A new voice cut in and all eyes turned to Nabiki Tendo who wore a carefully neutral mask. "What the hell is going on here, Saotome?"

"Why you askin' me?" Ranma snorted, finding her own humor in the situation and the bodies piled around the woman. "Ask the violent maniac there."

"Violent..." Urd twitched, beginning to crackle once more. "_Maniac...?_"

Nabiki watched the as the woman began to manifest lightning for the second time since first laying eyes on her and backed away, remembering what had happened the_ last _time it had occurred. The fiancees and her sister had launched their ineffectual four pronged assault on the woman, ensuring each got the hejeebies shocked out of them each time they touched the woman. The engagement last just long enough to draw in Ranma's rivals, who for once were not focused on Ranma. Mousse's association with Shampoo had probably led them to the dojo, inciting yet more violent activities. The duck boy came to Shampoo's defense, Ryoga to Akane's and Kuno was simply determined to win the right to date another female through ritual combat.

The look-alike had finally gotten fed up and uttered the word 'sleep'. And they did. Right there on spot. It was really, _really_ creepy from Nabiki's point of view and she resolved to stay on the woman's good side, or at least remain unnoticed.

_Evil twin_, Nabiki recalled the blonde's words, who had since rejoined the person who she obviously deferred to as her superior and self proclaimed 'Ruler of Hell'. Looking at both white haired women side by side for the first time, the resemblance was absolutely uncanny, if only just short of the label of 'twins'. Both had bronzed skin and white hair, but they carried themselves in completely different manners. The first she had met had changed attire somewhere along the way from the revealing business suit to pink and black Lycra, skin tight and adorned with jewelry and tassels. Her facial features were only slightly sharper than those of the one she had come to know as 'Urd' and her hair was styled into a long elegant crop that flowed around her body. Urd herself was dressed provocatively herself, though her robes lent a certain elegance to the matter and was still several notches more conservative than her 'evil twin'.

_No wonder the plan went down in flames_, she scolded herself mentally even though she knew there was no way she could have ever anticipated such an outcome. Nor did the coincidental arrival of both appear to be planned in any way, she judged by the hostile banter. Even when that analysis was all said and done, on fact remained: She had been played... Played like a fiddle by the first woman and it _stung._

"Just proven' my point," Ranma retorted in that arrogant tone his opponents knew all too well. Urd's cheek twitched a couple more times before the lightning completely died off and her face dropped into a calm facade.

"This is not a game, Saotome," The redhead watched the change of mood curiously. "You are a diversion to her; a mouse to the cat. She will break you, laugh and dangle you above the fires of damnation. It is what she does. What she _is. _If you're smart, you'll just walk away."

Nabiki's eyes flicked from Urd to the her near twin. _Mistress of hell. Fires of damnation? _The situation was just getting too weird, even by Saotome standards. _They couldn't be serious. But Ranma..._ The redhead took a silent few moments to collect her own thoughts. Nabiki watched as the martial artist's own pretentious mask dropped away and Nabiki swallowed. She _was_ serious. Serious about every challenge the Urd had spoken. _The jock couldn't possibly think that the woman beside her was... _

"That's what she told me too," Ranma nodded, completely without pretense. Urd nearly stumbled with the admission, certain now that her mother had completely broken the child during their trip to hell. There couldn't possibly have been any other-- The guiless manner disappeared as quickly as it had manifested, replaced by hostility that spoke of anything _but_ broken. "But unlike you, I'm not blind enough to believe that's all there is to Hild-san."

The Goddess' jaw dropped completely now. Even Hild blinked. "Wha... _What?!_"

"She's got a job." Ranma jabbed her thumb back at the woman, leaning fully into her verbal offensive. "An_ important_ job. There are bastards out there who don't give a rats ass and guess who gets them at the end of the day? Nasty pieces of shit that deserve worse than just gettin the crap beat out of em'. Hell, I'd be feedin' them to that Ogg-thing too if I were in charge."

"You... _you.._." Urd's tan seemed to pale slightly as she stumbled over the redhead's words. "She... _showed_ you _Ogdru?_"

"Big, black and slimy? Yep," Ranma nodded, her blue eyes glinting with steel now. "Couldn't think of anybody better to introduce them too either... For a good, _long_ time."

"You... _You have no idea_," The Goddess of the Past clung to rational thought by a thread. Rarely had she met a mortal that so openly courted her mother. "She will corrupt, influence, destroy. These are her_ games._ You are her--"

"...Entertainment, blah, blah, blah." The Saotome rolled her eyes. "People got their own choice to--"

"Thank you Ranma-chan," Hild murmured, patting the martial artist on the head gently as she stepped forward. "Enough, but thank you. This is well worn ground we are traversing now, daughter and I. She didn't approve then and I'm quite certain she fails to now."

"The biggest understatement of the last two thousand years." Urd quipped, finally recovering her mental balance. She folded her arms defensively, glaring at her mother.

Hild sighed wearily, turning to Ranma. "I'll be back in a day or so to complete our business, alright?" Ranma nodded grumpily, but relented with Hild's smile. "Very well then! Mara!"

The blonde nodded and both infernal figures disappeared in a gout of flame. Urd stared at the martial artist a moment longer, who stared back a challenge in return. The Goddess promptly vanished with a derisive "Hmmf!" Leaving Ranma, Nabiki and seven slumbering martial artists alone.

The Mercenary took her own moment to collect her thoughts. Never had she seen the Saotome so ardently defend another... _or be handled so effectively by a woman_, she contemplated before opening her mouth. "Ranma... what the hell just happened?"

The redhead opened her mouth, then closed it as if reconsidering her answer to the question. "It's... _a family thing. _Ain't my right to say." She decided, walking to the dojo's entrance but pausing at the sliding door. The martial artist gained a rare, contemplative countenance. "But just some advice... For your own good..."

"And what's that?" Nabiki cocked her head, still trying to resolve the last fifteen minutes.

"I know you like to deal, but when it comes to Hild-san... _don't_."

With that, Ranma left the structure leaving the ice queen alone with her thoughts... and a foreboding dread she couldn't quite identify.

* * *

_"**Y**ou didn't keep your promise!" _

_Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts blinked. One moment he had been in free fall, plummeting down a sheer cliff face in an effort to reach his mother before they were dashed against the surf and rocks below. A hundred meters had already been eaten away in their mutual plunge and for anybody else, their deaths were all but certain... Certain for anybody Ranma Saotome. The teen was considered a martial arts prodigy for a reason and he demonstrated that considerable aptitude now, rotating his mother through open air and into his arms, pulling the still sheathed katana from its decorative wrap and hurling it down into the cliff side below. _

_"Genma. Ranma. To retain our family honor you must commit seppuku!" _

_He had pulled off the nearly impossible, landing on the embedded honor blade with less than twenty five meters to spare, only to have the blade slip out of it's sheath with the merest shift in his mothers weight, sending them into the cold water below. _

_And to here, his death. _

_In that moment, his mother had seen the curse and pronounced it unmanly. Now, he was dressed into traditional white, surrounded by white. Next to him was his father, the fool. It had been __his pact that had forced this fate upon them, forced him to hide, forced them to this very outcome. The fat old panda had obstructed his every effort to control the discovery and in doing so, let his very mother nearly fall to her death. __Damn the old man... _

_The ritual knives sat before them and Ranma picked his up, wrapping it in cloth even as Nodoka Saotome brought the katana to bear. "Do you have any last words, Son?" _

_Ranma bowed his head. "I wanted... Wanted to tell you..." _

_"Perhaps." His mother nodded, her features softening for a moment before returning to fierce determination. "That would not change the fact that you are still only half a man, however." _

_"But--!" _

_"Prepare yourself!" She ordered sternly and the fight drained out of him in that moment. There would be no reprieve and his mother would not accept him... or her. Ranma grabbed the short blade from the simple wooden block before him...

* * *

_

**T**he sharp stab of pain woke Ranma up with a start, prompting him to instinctively scan his immediate space for for threats. _The dream again_, he frowned as the edge of adrenaline fell off. No katana were found within his room, though the predawn glow was found filtering through the window. Regardless, the threat was still out there... _Waiting. _

"Dammit," He mumbled, sliding out of his his futon and reaching over to his still packed belongings. Technically, he should be hanging them up in his newly acquired closet, but he still wasn't used to the fact that he even had his own room, let alone that he was now residing in the home of his birth. _Not just that,_ he admitted mentally, donning a gi. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out his mother still wasn't comfortable with the curse. She had declared him manly, but still toted the sword around as if looking for any fault in that manly exterior. _Least she didn't chop my head off outright, I guess..._

The martial artist slid the window open and hoped out into dew moistened grass of the back yard. The landscape itself was spartan, adorned with simple grass and nowhere nearly as large as the Tendos' courtyard. Still, it was sufficient for his purposes and Ranma stepped into a lazy kata, slowly picking up speed. It was a strange, almost disconcerting situation he was in, he mused as reflex took over. After nearly a year and change of hiding from his mother, being a 'guest' at the Tendos' and staring down the fiancee gun, it was odd- nearly alien -- to be have been separated from it all.

_Well, almost all_, Ranma mused darkly. Technically he was still under the fiancee gun, if removed only slightly from it. The threat of beheading was still there, but at least the curse was out in the open. _Whatever_, Ranma brushed the thoughts aside as he entered the kata's main sequence. _I have a cure! A real cure! _The thought nearly dumbfounded the martial artist with amazement, causing him to fall out of the free flowing form for a moment. _A cure, no strings attached, no questions asked._ An appreciative smile found it's way to his lips as he recollected Hild's offer and just what it would mean for his life. _Never going to be a girl again!_ _Never going to be a girl again!_ His brain chanted, beginning a third iteration of the litany before dropping off in wistful remembrance. It had been fun. _Kinda,_ he mused. One monumental pain in the ass, but it wasn't all bad. Hild had shown him that. _Still, I'm a guy. And guys are guys,_ he rationalized, reaffirming his position on the matter with a mental nod. Only a small voice of dissension at the back of his mind cared to acknowledged just how much he had riding on that singular fact.

The scrapping sound of the house door sliding open drew Ranma's attention further but he continued with the kata, flashing through punches and kicks, ultimately taking them into the air with a mastery drilled into him since the day he could walk. Another couple minutes of silence in the art passed before his watcher interrupted with the slightest clearing of her throat.

"Breakfast, son." _Food,_ Ranma confirmed mentally and took that as his cue to wind down. The blur of thrusts and weaving subsided into a simpler flow before the martial artist drew completely still. He drew a deep breath and turned to his mother, who smiled back gently. _And she's still carrying that damn katana around!_ A portion of Ranma's psyche balked as the remainder forced the smile from slipping from his lips. "A manly performance, Ranma-kun. Are you always up so early?"

"Best time to practice," The pigtailed boy nodded, cautiously optimistic with her presence. He had been declared manly, after all. "Normally with Pops. Can't say I miss the trips to the Koi pond though."

"Koi pond?" She tilted her head curiously, leading him back into the house.

"Yeah, he'd target his throws for the water on purpose," Ranma recounted the annoyance, heedless of the ground he now tread. "Would trigger the curse and soak me to the bone right before school."

"While I'm sure dear Genma had the best of intentions, the curse itself _most_ unmanly." Nodoka shook her head. Ranma watched her grip on the wrapped katana tighten and suppressed his on unease as she did. "Though why he would do so purposely is beyond me, however."

"Tell me about it," Ranma grumbled as his mother set the table for what was shaping up to be a very traditional breakfast: Rice and miso soup. Both sat opposite of one another and the martial artist picked at his meal tepidly.

"You certainly have grown," Nodoka commented with a warm smile. Ranma returned it hesitantly, noting the wrapped blade had been set near their table within easy reach. "Certainly not the small boy that left this house all those years ago! I'm sure you've been on many manly adventures since then!"

"You could say that," He confirmed with the slightest edge of humor. "But the really weird stuff didn't begin to happen until after Jusenkyo. The curse, Chinese amazons... God, and fiancees crawling out of the woodwork."

"Fiancees?" Nodoka's soup spoon paused at her lips, her eyes suddenly shining with interest. "As in plural?"

"Yeah, plural," Ranma continued, failing to notice the increased attention. "If ya go by the dates I met them, first there was Shampoo, then Akane, Kodachi then Ukyo. Been a few others along the way, but those are the ones that stick around."

"A few others...?" The auburn haired mother was left blinking now, though an odd smile was working its way onto her face. "But what does shampoo have to do with anything?"

"_Xiam_'Pu, Chinese Amazon," He correct, as if the question were expected. "Though if you go by the dates I was engaged to 'em, Akane was first, Ukyo second, Shampoo third and Kodachi... Well, she's just plain nuts, really."

"And all of these women show their affections for you?" Nodoka inquired eagerly, receiving a roll of the eyes.

"Except the tomboy," Ranma snorted. "I swear she's as violent as they come."

"Akane-chan is just showing her affections for you," His mother stated evenly, causing Ranma to all but boggle at her. "And what do these women think of the curse?"

She had slipped the comment in easily as if it were nothing more than a bi product of their conversation, but Ranma hadn't forgotten katana off to the side. Nor had he missed the sudden absence of body language, as if the woman had become an emotional void in spite of the pleasant tone of her voice. Warning sirens wailed from within the confines of the martial artist's skull.

"Um, well, Akane hates it. So does Kodachi, but for entirely different reasons." Ranma replied, stepping lightly across the conversational minefield. "I'm pretty sure Ukyo considers it a novelty and Shampoo... Um, I don't think she really cares."

"I see," Nodoka nodded as if she were passively taking in the information. "And what do _you_ think of the curse?"

"Uh, it's... Um..." Ranma barely managed to swallow his next bite of rice. His brain froze up, warring between blurting out his real opinion on the curse versus what he knew his mother wanted to hear. Not wanting to instigate another lie, the pig tailed martial artist managed a last minute save. "...Looks a lot like you?"

"I do believe you're right..." His mother blinked with the realization, then frowned. "Even so, I would expect you to refrain from taking that unnatural form. My son is a son, _not_ a daughter."

"Not like I have a choice half the time," Ranma shook his head while neglecting where the other half of his choices fell.

"Of course," Nodoka agreed knowingly. "Certain allowances are to be made, though indulgence is another matter entirely."

"Eh, right." Ranma dissembled, deciding right then and there his mother could never know about his antics with Hild.

"You have attempted to find a cure, of course?"

_'Duh'_ was the first word that wanted to drop from Ranma's mouth, but he smoothed the crude acknowledgement for his mother. "Yeah, more than a couple of times. Locking ladle, Spring of Drown Man here in Japan, a trip back to the springs, an island pool, wishing sword... Umm... I'm forgetting one or two in there somewhere. Never seems to work out."

"A manly effort." Nodoka decided, her tone downright matronly. "Nor would I wouldn't expect my son to give up finding one."

"Ah, sure," Ranma returned as an empty pit began to settle within his stomach. He wanted to tell her that a cure was in his grasp, but... but there was something wrong and he couldn't quite place his finger on it. Much as the woman before him was his biological mother, the last ten minutes of their conversation indicated without a doubt that he did _not_ know this woman. He wanted to get to know her... Wanted to be her son, but... but her fixation on manliness was getting downright _eerie_...

...So eerie that he couldn't help but to press the issue. "So... Um... What if I can't find a cure?"

A visible frown took up residence on his mother's face, but it faded quickly into that pleasant, oblivious smile. "Nonsense. You're my manly son."

"But if I can't?" It was only by sheer chance that he and Hild had met after all, and now Ranma had to know just where he stood with the woman he was to call a mother.

"Ridiculous," her smile broadened and with it, the pit in Ranma's stomach. "Once you find a cure, there will be nothing stopping you from your manly duties."

Her decree stopped him cold, mostly because it didn't register as making any sense what so ever. "'Manly duties'?"

"Of course!" She nodded, positively cheerful now. "You do have so many women to satisfy, after all."

"But... that's..."

"Akane would take precedence per our families accord," The Saotome matriarch ticked off, now clearly excluding Ranma from any collaboration. "I will have to meet the others and while I am not so certain about the foreigner, this Kodachi and Ukyo would undoubtedly make fine mistresses."

"Mistresses?!" Ranma did choke on the word this time. He wasn't exactly innocent himself, but that was _exactly_ what he had been trying to avoid for the last year and a half! "I can't possibly--"

"No, I certainly agree," She continued, allowing her son some measure of relief. "Not while you harbor that decidedly feminine curse."

...Relief that was instantly crushed.

"Look, Mom..." Ranma started off with a protest that died nearly as quickly as it left his tongue upon viewing his mother's expectant visage. "Uh, thanks for the breakfast. Nice ta finally have one with ya... As me, I mean. Not Ranko."

"I'm just finally happy to have my manly son back," Nodoka smiled. "I should expect many more to come!"

"Yeah, definitely," A small measure hope welled up within the martial artist at her sincerity, but it was tempered... Tempered by the fact that he could have just as easily been stuck without a cure and it was painfully obvious that was not something his mother was willing to entertain. The fact that she still kept the katana on her person was damning evidence of that mind set and just the thought of it played across his trust like a fault line.

_So what am i to her if I still have the curse?_ Ranma's psyche grumbled even as he put up a cheerful facade for his mother. A similar parallel played through his mind with the dissent, and it began with the words, "_My name is Akane, do you want to be friends?_" The pigtailed boy mentally winced with the recollection and everything that followed. _And it's happenin' all over again...!_

"Um, I gotta go," Ranma pasted on the smile once more, standing up from the table. "Er... Early morning jog."

"Of course," Nodoka nodded amiably, collecting the dishes. "I did interrupt your exercises. Just remember we have lots of catching up to do!"

He nodded and turned to the door. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

* * *

"**P**repare to die, Ranma!"

Normally death threats were something to be avoided and were, by most citizens Japan. They went about their everyday lives relatively rival free and thus avoided the need to prepare for the imminent demise, bodily harm and of course the inadvertent random acquisitions of fiancees. Ranma Saotome, of course, was not an average Japanese citizen. He did collect random fiancees. He collected rivals as well, many of whom threatened him bodily harm on a regular basis. And there was, of course, the advisement that he should prepare to die.

Ranma got that a lot.

By the time the Ryoga Hibiki's friendly advise hit his ears, Ranma was already sliding away from the initial downward stroke of the Lost Boy's umbrella. Concrete shattered with the impact, but the umbrella was already back up, tracking Ranma through his blurring evasion. Some would have said Ranma was lucky to have dodged the blow, let alone come out of it alive, but those saying so couldn't have been from Nerima. If they had, they would have known that the martial arts prodigy dancing at the umbrella point couldn't have possibly been defeated in a straight one on one dual without the involvement of extraordinary circumstances...

"Saotome, you enemy of women!"

...Such as Mousse, oppressed Chinese Amazonian male and hidden weapons specialist. A solid arc of weapons flashed in, forcing Ranma to disengage from the umbrella to flip back and away from the various objects that threatened to impale, bludgeon and otherwise maim the black haired teen. While the Amazon was able to dispense his weapons in quanitity, their aim lacked quality. Ryoga diverted a measure of his offensive toward their deflection himself, thereby allowing Ranma some margin of breathing room. Still, the Saotome had seen worse odds. It wasn't as if he were fighting on three fronts.

"You wretch! How dare you ensnare the white haired Goddess of Love! She--OOf!"

The bokken had fallen against Ranma's exposed back, but Ranma was already twisting around with the rush of wind, letting the wooden blade slice the air where he had just stood. The martial artist followed his own sidestep through and grabbed Tatewake Kuno's committed forearm, sending him stumbling off balance into the path of Ryoga Hibiki who, like Mousse was rather indiscriminate in striking what stood between his person and the object of his fury. The long stroke of his weighted umbrella swept Kuno up like a broom, batting the upperclassman aside and embedding him into the nearby retainer wall. He was unconscious before he even peeled away from his indentation, crumpling bonelessly to the sidewalk.

Ranma couldn't have done a better job himself, and said so.

"Nice job, P-chan!"

"And don't call me P-chan!" Ryoga snarled, redoubling his efforts. "Akane was tormented by that white haired witch because of you!"

"Because of me?" Ranma snorted as he dodged left, suddenly reminded of just how much their banter sounded like that of Hild and Urd. "Hey, I didn't tell the tomboy to go around challengin' strangers out of the blue."

"And for Shampoo!" A chain whipped overhead, the it's length terminating in a spiked ball. The martial artist danced through its coils until the chain found Ryoga's umbrella, promptly disarming the Hibiki. The lost boy bared his fangs at the myopic combatant but pressed forward with his offensive, pushing substantial amounts air with the meaty round house he threw in Ranma's direction.

"You're both idiots!" Ranma blurted, losing patience. "I wasn't even there!"

"It's always your fault, Saotome!" Mousse ranted, having expended his current load of ranged weaponry and proceeded to move into the melee. A long sword sprouted from each over sized sleeve. "How dare you inflict such harm on my Shampoo!"

A sliver blade carved the space before Ranma and he batted the flat of its edge aside with the back of his hand. He stepped inside the effort and targeted Mousse's chest with a kick, knocking the boy winded and out of range. "Harm? You should be blaming Urd. She's the one that put all yas to nap time."

"SO YOU DO KNOW HER!" Ryoga roared, pressing a finger into the earth and destroying yet another parcel of street wholesale. "_Bakusai Tenketsu!!_"

Ten minutes later, three exhausted teen sat on the side of the back street of their brawl. One lazed back easily, his Chinese silks a little worse for the wear while the other two glared at him ominously. Both looked as though they had taken their share of bruising as well, but neither seemed to notice the pain or damage taken. For his part, Ranma simply cast a sidelong glance at the pair and shook his head.

"I'm tellin' ya, it's complicated," He sighed. "And i'm pretty sure you can thank Nabs for most of it."

"Now that I might be willing to believe," Ryoga commented, finally breaking his menacing gaze. "Doesn't make you any less of a dumbass."

"Or womanizer," Mousse added, pushing his thick glasses back up his nose.

"Oh shut up." Ranma rolled his eyes. "They look damn near identical and it bit Nabiki in the ass. I'm bettin' ya she called the girls over and they tore into the wrong person."

"Then who is the _right_ person?" Ryoga interrogated, the veiled threat unmistakable in his voice should the answer prove offensive to his moral sensibilities.

"You enemy of--"

_BONK!_

"She's a friend, dammit!" The martial artist's elbow came down on Mousse's cranium, preempting the accusation. "I'm allowed to have girl's as just friends, ain't I?!"

"Problem is they all turn into more than that, Saotome!" Ryoga bit back. Instead of the inane comeback he was expecting, Ranma simply chuckled. "And what's so funny?"

"Hild-san as my fiancee..." The pigtailed boy continued to chuckle. "Now that's something that would scare ya shitless."

Ryoga shot Mousse a questioning glance, who returned a barely perceptible shrug. The remark was so atypical of their arrogant rival that for once, neither had a stinging rebuke on tap and were all but forced to listen.

"heh, heh, heh..." Ranma continued to chortle, oblivious to the pair's staring. "I mean, imagine what she'd do to the _other_ fiancees..."

"Now you're just being weird, Saotome," Ryoga frowned, clearly uneasy with the direction their argument had taken. "You really expect us to just believe that?"

"Don't really matter to me what you believe and what you don't," Ranma shrugged carelessly. "Hell, I've been telling bird brain there for just about forever that I ain't interested in Shampoo either and look where that's--"

"You string my Shampoo along like--!"

_ThAP._

Mousse's charging lurch ran face first into Ranma's stationary fist. "Yeah, like I was sayin'. We're friends and that's it. She's been helpin' me out with the curse and..." Two pairs of eyes were suddenly riveted upon his person and he knew right there he had said too much. "And uh... Stuff like that."

"Ranma..." The Lost Boy growled his name, leaning into his space while Mousse was doing likewise from right beside him. "You're not holding out on us, are you?"

"Uh..."

"Because I think I can speak for both of us." Ryoga brandished his hereditary fangs, motioning to Mousse. The Amazonian boy sprouted no less than ten kunai from one sleeve while retaining a long sword in the other sleeve. "We'd have to _kill_ you if you found a cure and kept it for your self."

"Dead." Mousse added, swiping the air left of his person with the sword. It met with a metallic 'chink' and all three turned to the source, a lone fire plug now sporting a razor thin slice across its width. Ranma sighed and Ryoga simply popped his umbrella just as the fire plug's structural integrity fail, sending a ten meter geyser into the air. Rain pattered off the Lost Boy's umbrella instantly and Ranma stood beside him, now female. Bystanders looking upon the unfortunate pair would find it odd that both teens were accompanied by a duck surrounded by various edged weapons. Ranma herself just shook her head at the idiocy.

"Does it _look_ like I got a cure?" Ranma asked with a rhetorical snort as she walked away, leaving the pair to their impromptu shower. "Dumbasses."

_Smooth, Ranma. Really, Really smooth_, the redhead berated herself for having barely extricated yet another bout of Saotome foot and mouth disease. One of the very last things she needed those two idiots to know about was the fact that she all but had a cure in hand. Sure, she'd think about seeing if Hild could zap the idiots too, but not until she had hers. _Morons would screw things up like they always do if I let 'em... Even Pop would probably go off the deep end..._

That, and Ryoga had been serious about his threat. The idiot could be downright homicidal when he put his mind to it and Ranma was sure that both Pork for brains and duck boy would lose it if they suddenly found out she was cured. _And neither one of them give a damn who gets hurt in the process_, she frowned, imagining the all out brawl that the revelation would instigate. She could take Ryoga, and Mousse wasn't anywhere nearly as tough, but both in righteous fury mode would create a lot of property damage before she could take them down. Ranma shook here head, frowning. _Gettin' a damn cure ain't supposed to be this hard.  
_  
It wasn't until four blocks away and continued introspection that Ranma noticed the staring. Eyes riveted to her person. It took the redhead a moment to realize why she was garnering more attention than she usually did until she passed by her reflection in a shop window. _Wet silk_. A smile cracked her face, edging out the funk she was in. _Yeah, that'd do it,_ she realized, admiring the form staring back at her. The red top clung to every curve enticingly, each round breast ending at a sharp point that was all but guaranteed to draw the eye. The tangs were still baggy, but they clung as well, randomly applying themselves to her flesh while hugging her hips much lower than they usually would.

The grin on her face grew slightly devious and she turned away from the window, unbuttoning a single button from her top as she did. Ranma's expression dropped into simple pleasantness and continued back down the street. This time her gait was completely different as she maximized her posture and balance, ensuring any eye that fell upon her now would take in everything her swaying body had to offer. Her first target didn't stand a chance. Ranma had played the cute redhead card before with vendors, but this was the first time she had played the redheaded bombshell using Hild's lessons. The theatrics involved in playing silly and cute were completely unnecessary as the vendor willingly offered the diminutive beauty whatever she asked for, most of the time without even asking.

The rest of the block took heavy casualties. Her snacks finished, Ranma continued on her way like some erotic martial arts fairy, delivering unconsciousness and nosebleeds to those she passed. Moreover, she was completely aware of the devastation she caused, reveling in the attention and control she was exerting after what had been a positively shitty start to her day. Sure, her mother was more than likely to kill her on the spot, but her mother wasn't here and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. _Besides, I'm gonna get cured any day now,_ she rationalized, smiling easily at a salary man passing her. The man ran straight into a light pole on the spot. _Might as well enjoy--_

Ranma paused on the sidewalk cocking her head curiously. She now stood before a women's clothing store. While she didn't have any inclination to shop for a body that wouldn't exist in the near future, the pale yellow sundress in the window simply inspired. Last day with Hild, a dress like that and a body count so high that both would remember that day for a long time to come.

"Nice dress."

"Yep," Ranma answered absently, still thinking on just how much fun they'd be having. _Still, damned if I can afford it one my own. Maybe that manager chick from Asakusa would let me borrow one from her store..._

"It would look good on you."

"Damn right," Ranma nodded, eyes still only on the dress and the plan she was working. Suddenly her world was bathed in a bright red aura and she turned to find a seething Akane Tendo. Ranma's eyes widened. "Uh.. It's... That's not..."

"Then. Why. Don't. You. _WEAR IT!_" The girl seethed. Ranma was so completely surprised that she failed to even register the fist swing down, accomplishing what Ryoga and Mousse failed to do. Less than a second later, the redhead found herself embedded face first into the concrete sidewalk as the enraged girl stomped off, her world throbbing in pain.

"Owie."

* * *

**N**or would it be the last time Akane Tendo would inflict bodily harm on Ranma that day. Three girls stared at their fiance hopeful as he was pressed faced down at his mother's own table, a cinder block having been applied to the back of his head with the assistance of physics and gravity. Ukyo Kounji stared at the brick's sudden appearance as well as the smallish pack sloppily tied to it. She glanced at Shampoo and Kodachi, both shrugging their ignorance in why a cinder block would simply fallout of the sky and smite their mutual fiancee. Failing to come up with a reason herself, the Okanomiyaki master pushed the block off Ranma's head.

"Owie."

"You alright, Sugar?" Ukyo asked while untying the bag from its parent mass. Ranma's face remained plastered to the table and she rifled through its contents to find various aticles of clothing. "What the... Laundry?"

"Oh dear." Nodoka Saotome paused, turning to the phone in her debate to call the Tendos. "Akane seems to be late."

"Call it a hunch, but I think she already left." Ranma's voice sounded muffled and he began to peel his face from the table. Shampoo eyed the bump forming on the back of his head as well as his now bruised face.

"Is Macho-girl work, alright."

"Truely," Kodachi nodded. "The peasant girl Tendo has much to learn of her station."

"A shame too," Ranma's mother sighed lightly. "I was hoping to gather all of Ranma's fiancees in one spot for a little chat."

"A talk?" Ranma's head came up as if on a hinge, alarms once more sounding in his brain. "Wait, _you_ invited them here?"

"I figured with Akane stopping by, what better time?" Nodoka rationalized easily and Ranma turned to stare at the girls, who were nodding with smiles. A shaft of disappointed betrayal ran the martial artist through as she continued. "After all, with so many women to satisfy, arrangements will have to be made."

The grins of the other fiancees widened and Ranma knew exactly why. His mother had just legitimatized them as at least being in the running and she was dividing him up like a steak.

The analogy wasn't lost on the martial artist either.

"Of course, all of you have legitimate claims to my son," Nodoka continued inspite of the sinking pit in Ranma's stomach. "Though some tend to be more legitimate than others. Were it not for his unmanly curse, we would settle them all today, however that cannot be the case."

_Oh thank God._

"As soon as the condition is lifted, however, I see why there is no reason why cannot press forward with those arrangements at best possible speed, do you agree?" Nodoka considered all three girls, who were nodding enthusiastically now. "Very good then. Now why don't you each tell me a bit about yourselves..."

That was Ranma's cue to leave, slipping out the side door as each girl jockied for his mother's favor, all four females forgetting about him completely while they did so. It was all getting ridiculous and would have been funny if it weren't damn pathetic. He took to the air with a slight hop, finding the roof's edge easily enough and found the spine of the house, walking along it until he came to a good vantage point that overlooked the entire sprawling neighborhood.

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't..." The pig tailed boy mumbled, reviewing his options with little more than the slight summer breeze to hear his words.

"Is that right?"

Ranma's head jerked around and he found a yellow skinned blond clad completely in a shiny red leather bodysuit standing over him. She sported two crimson gashes running vertically up her forehead and the boy recognized her instantly, relaxing somewhat. "What's up, Mara?"

"Boss is all ready with the cure if you are," She reported matter-of-factly, then adopted a curious expression. "What are you doing up here anyway?"

"Heh," Ranma chuckled dryly. "Hiding, I think. You know... I move out of the dojo and that tomboy still is peltin' me with heavy stuff."

Mara cocked here head, then sniffed with amusement. "I think I have to agree with Hild-dono on that one, kid. Why you even put up with her is beyond me."

"Sometimes I... She's..." The pigtailed boy paused, his face scrunching up. "Hell, I don't know. Not like it's any better here."

"You're thinkin' about this way too much," the blonde commented, offering her hand. "Come on. I know the Boss'll be happy to see you."

"A damn sight better than what I got going here," Ranma snorted, taking Mara's Hand and rising to his full height.

"Hold on then," Mara smiled cockily and the pair vanished in flames, rematerializing second later on a side street directly adjacent to a small coffee shop. It took Ranma a moment to reorientate himself, recognizing the surrounding establishments as being located on the outer edge of the prefecture. "She's in the coffee shop. See you around, Saotome. I got stuff do."

The demoness waved and disappeared in a smallish eruption of fire, leaving Ranma alone on the sidewalk. Taking her advice, he ducked into the establishment. Hild's exotic looks stood out immediately and he smiled as she waved him over with a warm smile of her own. Today she was wearing what Ranma had come to know as casual for the woman, a thin black spandex top with obviously no padding and baggy white cargo jeans that looked to hang low on her hips, low enough to advertise the fact that she wore something thin and stringy beneath.

"I trust Mara found you at a good time, Ranma-kun?" Hild questioned pleasantly, tossing her head slightly to throw a few errant strands of her white mane back into place. She took a sip of the latte resting in a thick creme colored mug.

"Couldn't have been better," Ranma snorted with the recollection, prompting the Daimakaichō to arch a curious eyebrow.

"Another one of those days, hmm?"

"Like there's any other," Ranma nodded both sharing amused looks. "Mom's starting a harem for me."

"My, I suppose that's one way to make up for lost time together," The grand demoness returned in an amused tone. "Though most parents tend to overcompensate with money and things..." Her humor held for a moment before it drained from her lavender eyes, as if suddenly realizing something. "This would be in response to her finding out about the curse, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, I think so," Ranma's own spirits withered with the admission. "I mean, I know she was lookin' for me to be manly, but... Let's just say she and the curse ain't gonna get along."

"I see..." Hild replied quietly, considering the matter herself. After a moment, she nodded. "Then let us get down to business. Are you ready?"

Ranma remained silent, staring at the menu behind the coffee counter. The tanned woman tilted her head, but didn't press the question. Something had obviously changed and she would allow the child to think it through to its fullest measure. Another minute passed, and Ranma's attention returned to her.

"I... Nah, not right now if it's okay with you."

Hild blinked, surprised. His unpredictability was one of the things she so loved about the Saotome, but still... This was _quite_ unexpected. "Indeed. And what brought this change of mind into being?"

"Everything, I think," He admitted, rubbing his temples in obvious stress. "The instant my Mom finds out I'm a guy permanently, I'm married. No if's, and's, or but's about it. The second the fiancees find out I'm cured, they'll go nuts. They're already tripping over themselves to get to me and if they find out I'm cured...? I'm screwed."

"Literally," Hild added dryly, to whcih Ranma nodded. "You know, many males in your position would have taken advantage of the situation several times over by now."

"And then they would have been sold into Amazon slavery, put to work behind an Okanomiyaki counter or drugged up for who knows what the moment they let their guard down." Ranma shook his head, having already visited all the potential scenarios well before now. "And that's not even counting my rivals. Ryoga and Mousse are already on the edge. They find out I got cured and they didn't and they'd probably snap. I'd probably have to put 'em both in the hospital or worse to stop em, too."

"My vote would be for 'or worse' but that's besides the point," Hild frowned, taking a sip from her mug. "I must admit, it doesn't please me to know that you are letting others dictate you life, Ranma-kun."

"I'm buyin' time." Ranma admitted, fully aware of the tactical implications. "I get this cure now and it all falls apart. I can see from here and it'll explode. Mom may not like it, but it'll keep her and the others at bay until I can find a way out of it."

Hild nodded, understanding, but still maintaining a neutral expression. Somebody she cares about was suffering and much as she wanted to remove that suffering, she was the Grand Demoness of hell, bound by rules and restrictions. Simply plucking annoyances from the lives of her friends was a no-no, though she had become quite expert at indirectly eliminating problems. Nabiki Tendo was one such example of that. That, and Ranma Saotome had his pride, something she knew all too well. If he was to deal with it himself, she would not stop him... but she would offer advise.

"As a friendly warning from one good friend to another," She remarked casually, attempting to keep her tone as light as possible. "There may come a day when there are no good choices left. You are buying time in the hope a more opportune position will avail itself to you. While I understand the tactic well, it may also be a futile gesture. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Ranma sighed heavily now. "Cuz the worst I can think of is pretty damn bad."

"Then perhaps an alternative is in order," She smiled, her mood lightening. "A partial cure."

Ranma's solemn mood was broken abruptly with the words. "Partial?"

"Something to at least alleviate the annoyance of the curse's random nature." She elaborated, tapping the points into the table with her finger. "Yes. I shall give you back something your life so desperately lacks, Ranma-kun... Control."

_Control_. The word resonated within the martial artist enticingly. Through his female aspect, it was positively addicting given its total absence in his life. "And... How's that?"

"Control over your curse." Hild smiled. Ranma blinked. "You wish to be a man, so be it. You wish to spend the day as a woman, it shall be so."

"I..." The boy was stunned by the implications.

"Though I must admit to my own selfish motives," She added as an after thought. "Still, it would be at least the first step to living your life on your own terms."

"I, um... It's..." Ranma stumbled through the jumble of thoughts. Hild wasn't the only one with a selfish motive and control was probably the most ideal solution to this particular dillemma he could think of. In fact, control was half the reason the curse was such a pain in the ass to begin with, but... "Still ain't gonna work."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Water's gonna get me some time," Ranma rationalized with a frown. "One of those times I'm gonna forget I should be changin' with it and I'm back to the doomsday scenario."

"Is that all, child?" Hild simply smiled, her laughter jingling against his ears only served to confuse the Saotome further. She snapped her fingers. "Done. You now have complete control over the curse, though I have left the water trigger intact. All that is required to override it is concentration."

Ranma boggled at her now. "You're... You're kidding."

"Often, but not today," She grinned, delighting in his incredulity. "Concentrate on the form you desire and it shall be done. An elegant solution if I do say so myself."

"I..." Ranma closed his mouth, and took her advise. He formed the mental image and busty redhead melted into place, his voice raising several octaves with the the transformation. "Wow... Oh, _wow!_"

"I thought you would like that," Hild chuckled, watching Ranma shift from boy to girl and back again. "Now lets go have some _real_ fun."

* * *

**Author's notes;**  
Uploading this somewhere in the vicinity of 3am, so I'll be brief on this. First, thanks for waiting and for those of you who thought this fic was dead, ha. **HA!** IN YOUR FACE! It just doesn't share the same priority as some of the others, but it is alive and well, so I hope you enjoyed it. Normally i would put an extended ANs section here for names and other stuff, but I'm a sleepy Ozz, so anything you have a question on can probably be found on google. Yes, even obscure references such as just who the hell is Oscar Saint Just. For further reference as to this chapter's time frame, reference Book 36. About the only thing you might have a question on is "Daimakaichoko" roughly equating to "Little Daimakaichō". Thanks to MageOhki for that innovation.

As always, thanks to the DCG, the TFF crew, DT, Amy, Mark and maybe some other people my sleepy brain forgot. This is also my first fic composed on Google Docs and it seems to be working out fairly well. Certainly makes transport between work and home, as well as collaboration tons easier. Most of the editing was my responsibility, so aim that fail squarely at me ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Hell is a Martial Artist**  
Chapter 7

_By Ozzallos_

**M**alcanthet studied the black haired, blue eyed boy sitting across from her. He was very handsome, though she had seen better. He was also well built for his age and that was fine. She took young ones routinely as a diversion and his body spoke of endurance. This one was different from her usual... _sustenance_ in many ways, however, the first and foremost being in the fact that he was off limits per Hild-sama's word. That alone was more than enough to pique her interest in the boy she had come to know as Ranma Saotome. There was also the fact that he was not yet in her bed yet... Or anybody else's bed for that matter. In fact, he was doing his very best not to look at her, and when he did, it was always in the eyes. So far she had endured fifteen minutes of small talk and very rarely had his eyes drifted below her neck. When they did, those blue eyes always snapped back up or away from her person. It was almost _insulting_. Even now he was sitting on her private chamber's cushioned lounge across from her, twiddling his thumbs and trying desperately to look relaxed.

When she had originally asked what she was to do with the boy if not seduce him, Hild's cryptic response was "you'll see," and now she did. He was a tightly wound coil; unhealthily so unless she missed her guess. She, on the other hand was the succubus queen, pleasing to the senses in every way, shape and form. Any teen his age would have been putty in her hands, just not this teen. Hild's Ranma was in control. _Complete_ control. Obsessive compulsive, high stress control. _The child needs to relax, _the demoness frown mentally, then smiled. _Hild said not to seduce the boy, but never anything about loosening him up..._

The Succubus flexed the magical field around her, allowing lust to snakes across the space on lines of power toward her quarry. The arcs were completely invisible to the naked eye and she was powering them at less than a fraction of their true potential, but once they made contact... Malcanthet chuckled as the the first one touched the fuzzy outline of his aura. _That ought to--_

Ranma's head snapped up and the blue eyes suddenly focused on the woman across from him with a frown. The Succubi queen blinked at the boy as she watched his aura reject the string of power and contract into a cohesive barrier. A second and third line of lust attempted to make their own connections, but skittered harmlessly off the shell of life force like the first. Malcanthet stared with the rejection and Ranma watched neutrally, as if to comprehend the event himself.

"What was that?"

It was easily the first direct question he had asked of her, confirming to the Queen beyond a shadow of a doubt that the reaction was far more than unconscious reflex. Malcanthet considered the matter further, briefly toying with applying more power and forcing entry into the boy's aura, but decided against it as quickly as the idea had surfaced. One, there was Hild's mandate to consider. A trip to The Crimson Spires would not be a welcome one. Second... Second the boy was_ interesting_. She was beginning to see why there was talk floating around concerning Hild's fascination with the child..._ And girl, _she appended mentally, having yet to see his transformation.

"An aura technique," The demoness stated matter-of-factly, hoping the admission would in turn lead to a viable avenue of conversation. "In all honestly, I was just trying to get you to loosen up."

"Using lust chi?" Ranma arched an eyebrow, eyeing the barely clothed woman lounging across from him doubtfully. What portion of her curves that were covered were done so by the thinnest of purple silk and strips of leather, leading the Saotome to wonder if she and Hild shared styling advice. Hild wearing such clothing was fine. She was great to hang around and didn't look at him like a piece of meat. This one all but radiated 'fiancée', however, and he had more than enough of _those_. The meter and a half curvature of the horns arcing from her forehead hadn't gone unnoticed either, nor had the leathery wings that occasionally stretched from her back, but this was hell and they were all but the norm for everybody he had met so far.

Behind her smile, Malcanthet notched another point of respect for the boy staring at her in open curiosity now. Not only had the consciously manipulated his own aura, but now correctly identified what she had set against it. "Correct. Lust is the primary magical catalyst of a Succubus, after all."

_Magical lust?_ The only parallel Ranma could draw off the top of his head was Happosai, but whatever she was doing with hers felt far purer than anything the old letch put out. It lacked the utter sense of violation he exuded through his very presence, especially when trying to attach himself to his female body. Ranma shivered with the memory and shook his head. "Not that I mind the thought, but I'd appreciate ya not doing that again."

"Of course," She smiled gracefully while noting the cold shiver that almost imperceptibly wracked his body. The clues she had followed like breadcrumbs through their interactions hadn't been positive ones so far, and she was beginning to understand the full portent of why the ruler of hell was asking her to spend time with the boy. The why behind_ that,_ however, was still a mystery.

"Then what _else _do you like to do to unwind?" She asked with a suggestive lilt. Ranma opened his mouth and Malcanthet immediately stopped him with a playful tisk. "Besides martial arts?"

"Um... Eh..." Ranma's thumbs began to twiddle again and the Succubi Queen arched an eyebrow.

"Oh come now," She prodded. "There must be _something. _Either that, or you have a _lot_ of free time on your hands."

"Free time... heh." It was a chuckle, but not a happy one by the demoness' estimate. "I wish."

"Hmmm, then how about as a girl?" She continued, attempting to map away around the boy's defensiveness. Ranma began to squirm, and she sighed. "Really, there must be _something_."

The boy hesitated further and Malcanthet shook her head, sensing Ranma's unease. The child was tightly guarded, as if letting the details of his life slip would spell certain doom. "Nothing you say leaves this room, Ranma-kun. Not only do you have my word as Queen of the Succubi, I can assure you Hild-sama has already would be _most_ displeased if our chat fell to gossip."

Ranma cocked his head and she watched as his posture loosened slightly at the mention of the Daimakaichō. That in itself was a wonder, since the mention of her Eminence usually inspired the _exact opposite_ in people and demons alike. _What are you to Hild-sama, child?_ Malcanthet asked herself, now very curious as to their interaction. Hild clearly favored the boy, favor that bordered on protectiveness unless she missed her guess. He, on the other hand, appeared completely at ease with the Grand Demoness. _It could all just be a game_, she acknowledged silently. Hild was fond of them, and it wouldn't be the first time she strung along a mortal for her amusement. _Or strung a demon along_, _for that matter_, the Succubi Queen thought with a sudden stab of dread.

"I guess ice cream," Ranma volunteered hesitantly, still wary around the shapely demoness. "Like ta spend time with Hild-san."

"Indeed," Malcanthet arched an eyebrow. _Spending time with the Daimakaichō as tops on his recreational activities. How quaint_. Still, Hild had requested she get to know the boy on something other than an intimate level, so get to know him she would. "I know Hild-sama to be quite a busy woman and one can only eat so much ice cream, so what, pray-tell, is occupying the rest of your time?" A weighty silence met her inquiry, so she pressed the question further. "Let me guess... martial arts?"

"One way or the other..." Ranma grumbled, giving the succubus her first real clue to leverage. _Even so, it's like pulling teeth,_ she acknowledged, reading his body language like an open book. _You can talk to the Grand Demoness of Hell, but not succubus such as myself? You are a martial arts obsessive, but that last response..._

The Queen mulled over the facts that had presented themselves so far and decided on a different tack. "May I indulge in a bit of curiosity, Saotome-kun?"

"Uh, I guess," He shrugged, unsure what to expect of the demoness at this point.

"May I see your female form?"

Malcanthet was instantly rewarded by a brief flash of uncertainty that rippled across Ranma's face, and knew at that point she was on the right track. The uncertainty was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared, and the black haired teen affected indifference. "Sure, why not."

She watched as Ranma's eyes unfocused with slight concentration and the boy melted away, adding curves and subtracting height. A redheaded teenage girl in red and black silks sat before the Succubus less than a second later. Malcanthet couldn't help but to smile, causing Ranma to frown. "What?"

"Gorgeous!" The Succubi Queen rose up to her full height of nearly two meters, her barbed tail swishing excitedly as she circled the sitting girl. "Absolutely gorgeous. And quite exotic. The red is natural, is it not? Stand up! let me have a full look at you." Ranma blinked under the torrent of compliments, but stood up regardless. "My, you would make an absolutely fabulous succubus if Hild-sama were willing!"

"Uh, thanks," A somewhat stunned Ranma watch as the woman circled her, studying her body and its detail. "Is that a good thing?"

"Of course it is, girl," Malcanthet nodded amiably. "Once your growth spurt hits and you add a few more inches... Quite a devastating form. How did you come across it?"

The Succubi queen watched as pure annoyance found its way to the redhead's face. "Old man's fault. Took me to Jusenkyo and got me kicked into one of the springs."

"And whatever falls in assumes the form of that which last drowned there," Malcanthet nodded, retaking her seat and motioning for Ranma to take hers. She did and the queen continued. "Though I am quite surprised that it is still in use... I thought humanity had taken an aversion to the site."

"Old man couldn't read Chinese," Ranma snorted with equal parts humor and irritation. "Thought it was a martial arts training ground."

"Ah, the language barrier," Malcanthet nodded sympathetically. "Things just haven't been the same since Babel, you know?" Ranma didn't, but the woman was continuing before she had time to think on it further. "So how have you been adjusting to your other self?"

"Ain't so bad these days," Ranma shrugged, and this time true nonchalance shown through in the gesture, not the manufactured front. "Used to be a real pain in the ass, especially around my old man. 'Girls are weak' this. 'Cry like a woman' that. Was kicking his ass just to get him to shut up, y'know?"

Malcanthet smiled and listened. Most of all, she _watched _as Ranma expounded on the short comings of her father and the reactions of strangers to the curse upon seeing it for the first time. The first and foremost thing that came to her attention was that the girl was actually talking. The wariness was all but gone. Second, she was more relaxed, leaning back into the cushions as if the entire sectional belonged to her. _The transformation..._ The Succubi Queen thought on the matter, inserting herself into the conversation every now and then to keep the girl talking while she herself gathered more information on just what made Ranma tick. _The change itself is not the cause... But it is the catalyst... Why, child?_

"Moron engaged me to more women than I can count," Ranma continued her vent while the Queen listened. "I think Nabiki counted ten at one point, but only four of those really hang around--"

Malcanthet's thought process latched onto the piece of information greedily. "Ten, you say?"

"Ten," Ranma confirmed. "And half of them have guys all pissed off that their girls like me."

"Just desserts if they cannot maintain the attentions of their females, I say," The woman shrugged in simplistic succubi logic. Ranma nodded vigorously, slapping a fist into her open hand while missing the thrust of thought ever so slightly

"Exactly!" The martial artist agreed heartily. "Ain't my fault they can't do their job, but damned if they don't take it out on me."

_And now we're getting somewhere_, the horned woman noted with anticipation. "Would it be safe to assume that your father, being a martial arts obsessive, was engaging you into martial arts families?"

"Yep," Ranma confirmed with a roll of her blue eyes. "Half the chicks are violent tomboys and the other half are just crazy."

"I think I'm beginning to see where this is going," Malcanthet nodded, stroking the curved length of her left horn in thought. She mulled over it for a split second before acting on the theory that was beginning to take shape. "Oh, you can shift back now if you wish."

Ranma did so without a second thought, the girl washing away into a taller black haired boy, who continued with his tale. "That was part of the problem I guess. Never used to have this weird shit happen to me before the curse, then after? It was like the entire goddamned world wanted to cave in on me. I mean, never had to deal with megalomaniacal kidnappers before Jusenkyo, y'know? Kinda blamed it all on the curse."

"I'd imagine it'd be a rude surprise," The temptress nodded agreeably and subtly began to shift the focus of their chat. "So, do any of these fiancées interest you? Or perhaps their suitors?"

"Well, they're all good looking, if that's what you mean," Ranma replied without a thought. "Violent, but there's nothing wrong with any of them except for the fact that I'll screw myself over for even hintin' I like one over the other." The paused, adding a curious blink. "Suitors?"

"Of course," Malcanthet smiled. "The men pursuing your females."

"I..." Ranma's mouth suddenly went dry as he comprehended her words in full. "That's not... I'm not..."

"Were it I, I would _certainly_ be using both forms to their best advantage," The demoness added evenly, doing her best to insert the thought as merely an observation and nothing more.

Ranma fought the twitch off his cheek and stared at the woman. It was an all but outlandish suggestion, save the fact that he had heard it before and from somebody he trusted implicitly. That realization in turn chained into the incident with the clones and the kiss with Ryoga. It ended in a throughly unexpected conclusion... Not everybody thought that _her_ body was a freak of nature, and if it wasn't a freak of nature... Hild had showed her it was something to have fun with, which taken to its logical extent...

Ranma shook himself out the deep mental contemplation as the succubus continued. "But that is neither here or there. Back to the original question, do you have a preference among the females?"

"Well, yeah, about that..."

* * *

"**H**ow is it going in here?" Hild strode into the Succubi Queen's lair half an hour later, pleased to find a male Ranma pleasantly chatting with Malcanthet over tea and cakes. "Has Malcanthet-chan invited you to her bed, yet, Ranma-kun?"

"Eh," Ranma's face pinkened as he stood up, giving the Daimakaichō all the confirmation she needed. He faltered, but recovered with a a reasonably nonchalant shrug. "She was nice about it though. Better than Shampoo."

Malcanthet giggled, having heard all about Shampoo's antics over the last hour. Granted, she could do things that would make the Amazon's tactics look absolutely mundane, but a girl needed more in her arsenal than the fiancées singular "smash and grab" tactics. Besides, Ranma was nice company as he.. and _she_ was. The bed could wait.

For a little bit, at least.

"Very good," Hild approved with a smile, walking up to the sitting demoness and patting her on her black mane of hair. "That means we can skip the trip to the spires!"

"Eh heh heh heh!" The queen's smile suddenly weakened with the reminder.

"Don't worry, Malcanthet-chan," The grand demoness consoled her. "Should Ranma-chan decide to bed you, I'm sure you'll be the first to know."

Ranma suddenly choked on the ultimatum and Malcanthet's cheek began to twitch as she realized just how well she had decided in not seducing the boy further. She was Queen of the Succubi. Had been for the last one thousand five hundred years and change. She had seduced the greatest men in mortal history... Bent women of every race to her sexual whim. And in all that, Hild had just informed her she was to be this child's plaything. It wasn't a horrible fate by any stretch of the imagination considering where she called home, just... _sobering_. Irritating to be sure, but sobering none the less.

"Get enough of that as it is," Ranma sniffed with a faint edge of amusement, surprising Malcanthet with the feminine lilt of her voice. She looked up to indeed find Ranma-chan had shifted during her introspection, leaving the Succubus to wonder as to _why_. A wider smile found its way to the redhead's face. "Speaking of which, should probably be getting back. Thanks for the food, Hild-san! Good to meet you Malecanthet-chan."

"And you," Malcanthet nodded, still somewhat wary of the entire setup.

"My pleasure," Hild smiled back, holding a poised hand up. "Ready?"

"Yep!"

"Off you go, then." Hild snapped her fingers and the girl disappeared in a plume of fire and smoke.

Malcanthet watched the Daimakaichō look upon the now vacant spot fondly for another moment before subtly gaining her attention. "Hild-sama... If I may ask..."

"Walk with me," Hild ordered, her tone pleasant, but unyielding. The Succubi Queen was not about to refuse, nor would she have had there been a choice. The entire situation was intriguing to say the least and she wanted to know what in the world was so special about that mortal. She followed the Grand Demoness from her lair and into a long arched hallway tiled in blood red with black marble supports. "Ranma-chan has a great many issues in her life as I'm sure you have noted, issues which I would like to play some small part in their resolution."

Their combined heels clicked down the hallway in time as Hild continued along. Where Malcanthet's heels were laced up her legs by shining black leather straps, Hild's were actually part of the black and pink body suit she wore. "Of course, her gender dysphasia is almost central to all of those issues. I have my own theories, but I would like your observations."

Suddenly her role became quite clear and Malcanthet nodded, falling into it. "As a male, he is quite guarded, no doubt due to his uniqueness among others of his kind... though I wasn't aware Jusenkyo allowed one to opt out of its curse."

"Oh, I did that," The Grand Demoness waved the observation away as inconsequential. "Please, continue."

The admission caused Malcanthet to mentally stumble, but she continued as requested. "Pressure on his male aspect is all but crushing him unless I missed my guess, though part of that is self induced. He could undoubtedly solve most of his problems by a loosening his moral code... And screwing those silly girls that follow him around senseless, of course."

"As I have mentioned myself, if I recall," Hild's smirk matched the succubus' own mischievous smile. It held for a second before lapsing into neutral concern. "I doubt, however, his moral code will be open to revision until something breaks."

"And it will break." Malcanthet add her confirmation. "Too many conflicting obligations pulling in to many divergent directions. The only reason he hasn't snapped yet, I would surmise, is because of you."

The clicking of heels stopped and it took another step for the succubus to realize it was Hild that had actually stopped. "Indeed?"

"While I would hesitate to pry into your relationship," The Succubi Queen hedged, unsure of the conversational ground she walked with the woman that could quite literally sentance her to eternal torture. "It is obvious Ranma-kun thinks highly of you. He... _She_ specifically singled out your time together as an outlet beyond her passion for martial arts. I would further say that Saotome-kun is using his female aspect as an outlet toward the pressure inflicted on his male aspect, facilitated by your activities."

Hild held a thoughtful countenance for a moment before slight smile found her face and continued her walk. "And your observations toward that end?"

Malcanthet hasted to follow, continuing her report. "Once it became obvious that his female aspect would not be under threat of attack from myself, Saotome-kun opened up to me readily, a trait that transmitted back over to his male aspect. If I had to guess, he was using his female aspect as a litmus test, that if passed, would allow him to let down his guard as a male."

"Which would follow with some of the basic interactions in Ranma-chan's life to date," Hild agreed. The Daimakaichō thought on the matter a bit more before continuing. "I will make a request of you Malcanthet-chan; a request because an order- even under threat of punishment -will not work for what I have in mind."

"Um, of course, Hild-sama..." The Succubi Queen all but boggled, unsure where her leader was going with the topic. Granted, she would be stupid to refuse her even given the out, but the fact that she was even being given a choice counted for something. _It's as if she were treating Saotome like..._

"I would like Ranma-chan to have some semblance of family," Hild outlined with a warm smile... A warm smile Malcanthet _stared_ at. "An unofficial older sister as it were. Somebody besides myself he can turn to for advice and trust." The smile widened somewhat. "A side benefit will be his continued interaction with you and the other succubi; at her discretion, of course. Inform the girls that she is _not_ to be fed upon."

"As... as you say, Hild-sama." The temptress agreed, still somewhat stunned by the turn of events.

"But back to the topic at hand, I agree Ranma-chan needs to loosen up," Hild switched conversational tracks once more as they continued their walk. "While I have no doubt as to your abilities to do so in the most pleasant manner possible, it is not something I believe him to be mentally ready for at the moment."

"Agreed," The demoness affirmed. "I get the impression that Saotome-kun would require a subtle hand to bring to that point."

"Exactly," The Daimakaichô nodded with a rare pang of guilt, failing to add that she had once been ready to use that point to her selfish advantage. "That doesn't change the fact that she will need respite from the stress of her life. Ranma needs options until she can express her needs in a more direct fashion."

"Options," Malcanthet hummed, thinking on the matter. A grin slowly spread across the Succubi's face, coinciding with the playful lashing of her tail. "I think I may have a couple in mind."

* * *

"**A**nd I told you, it ain't my fault they're talking!" Ranma protested as he kept pace with a fuming Akane Tendo. "One of the others must have let it slip."

"Slip. As if," Akane shook her head grumpily, studiously avoiding eye contact with her part time fiancée. "We might as well be married according to the gossip at school."

"Look, if you're gonna blame somebody, blame the other girls," The martial artist rolled his eyes as the pair made steady time away from Furikan and the twittering speculation behind them. "Hell, blame your sister. She probably sold the information to half the campus."

"Don't go trying to blame my sister for this," The youngest Tendo sniffed contemptuously. "Don't forget whose _mother_ gave it to me to begin with. And it wasn't even a real ring!"

"Man, if you're this difficult now, I can only imagine what a real ring would do to ya," Ranma shook his head, expecting a barbed reply in kind. Instead, silence met the swipe and he glanced over at the sulking girl. "Now what?"

"Baka," She returned simply, staring at the sidewalk. "I would have like a real ring better."

Ranma nearly stumbled. "You... you would?"

"Of course I would, dummy!" Akane whipped around in protest. "What girl wouldn't?!"

_What girl wouldn't...?_ Ranma Saotome paused with the sudden outburst, analyzing the statement and coming to the wrong conclusion. "Well, shoot, if you want one that bad, I'll just--"

"Not from _you_," Akane rebuffed the offer, sticking out her tongue. "So nyah!"

"Like I wanted to get you one anyway," Ranma shook his head, barely understanding what had just occurred. He thought they were okay, in spite of the storm of gossip they had walked into at school. He was laying odds on Nabiki, since she had already seen fit to inform Kuno and the other fiancées, but the means ultimately didn't matter. Once the student body got hold of information, Akane was right... They were all but married in their eyes and embarrassing wasn't the word. The teen shook his head in exasperation. _Morons._ Even though they had left that particular fiasco behind at school, he still had the fiancées to deal with and that wasn't going to be fun.

"Look, I'll catch up later," Ranma advised, causing Akane to pause in her own homeward trek. "Gotta talk to Ucchan."

"About what?" The sister asked suspiciously.

"'Bout Mom's house."

Akane blinked. That was not what she had been expecting. Free food? Yes. Fiancee shenanigans? Definitely. Reconciliation of property damages over the not so legitimate engagement ring? Decidedly _not_. Either way, she was _very_ interested as to the outcome between Ranma and his best friend turned fiancée. A tad _eager_, even. "I'll come along, if you want?"

"Sure, why not," Ranma shrugged and made the left where they would usually continue straight on to the dojo. Five minutes brought them within sighting distance of the store front, but even from several blocks away the martial artist could tell something was amiss. School was out and given its proximity to the campus, the okanomiyaki establishment was almost always packed. Today, it was _dead_.

As if picking up on his thoughts, even Akane had to admit her concern. "Ukyo has missed school for the past few days... I hope she's alright."

Ranma likewise couldn't help but to wonder. "Guess it's not that bad, though. Ucchan's is still open..."

"AGH! YOU _MORON!"_

Ranma blinked as half the store front imploded violently, ejecting a teenage girl clad in full kimono from the establishment and sending her bouncing twice before settling to a stop. The pair stared as the girl shuffled out from beneath the paper dividers, her black head of hair sporting Ukyo's trademark shiruken spatulas.

"Konatsu?" The name caused the inattentive girl to 'eep!' as Ranma approached. Had it been anybody else, Ranma might not have remembered, but one in a hundred generation genius ninja didn't slip easily from his mind. "Aren't you that male kunoichi? What are you doing here?"

"Er, welcome to Ucchan's!" The suprised neo-girl dipped into bow from her sprawl, greeting the pair hastily. She dusted herself off and led them both into the restaurant itself. It wasn't what either was expecting. The inside was just as barren as the outside, sporting a fine layer of dust on every horizontal surface save the grill itself, which was equally barren. Ukyo stood behind the grill, looking nearly as lifeless as her restaurant.

"Gee," Akane started with a bland tone, looking around. "Have you changed the decor recently?"

Ranma was a bit more to the point with his question. "Yeah, what's with the lack with the lack of customers?"

"It's all because of this moron!" Ukyo turned from lifeless to glowering in an instant, laying the kunoichi low with a solid smack to the head. Ranma knew the boy dressed girl could take more than that, but Konatsu winced and groveled pathetically at his best friend's feet regardless. "This jackass swears to keep the restaurant open while I'm sick and what happens? He drives everybody off, instead!"

"I'm _so _sorry, Mistress Ukyo!" The kunoichi whined, causing the mistress in question to relent slightly.

"Maybe your customers are just used to the best," Ranma shrugged, causing the okanomiyaki master a faint smile before fading back into irritation.

"Or maybe this idiot can't make okanomiyaki worth a damn," Ukyo grumped irritably. "Made the dough and sauce... All he had to do was slap it together on the grill."

Akane turned back to the kunoichi. "What kind of Okanomiyaki did you try to make?"

"Well," Konatsu began, desperate to redeem himself. "I started with the dough Miss Ukyo prepared, added thirty parts water..." The cross dressing ninja hurried to show by example, spreading the dough out across the grill, then proceeded to add a single shrimp to the mass and a minuscule streak of sauce. "...Then sprinkled some toppings and doused it all with Miss Ukyo's special sauce!"

"Um..." Ranma stared doubtfully, poking at the mixture that was neither doused or sprinkled. It was, in fact, little more than a swamp of saturated dough and almost as bad as Akane's cooking, save the fact that this creation probably wouldn't kill anybody. Meanwhile, Ukyo was voicing her own opinion on Konatsu's self proclaimed masterpiece with another smack upside the head.

"I think I understand it," Akane shared her sudden revelation. "Konatsu is probably cooking the way he did back when he was just a poor kunoichi..."

"Ah, well then," Ranma scritched his chin, thinking. "Akane's probably right... Bein' the expert on bad cooking and--OW!"

The Tendo's fist immediately rebounded off of Ranma's skull before he could finish the sentence. "Nobody asked you!"

"Uncute..." Ranma grumbled, but revised his statement. "What I was really sayin' is that we can help out, it if that's okay."

"Better," Akane folded her arms with satisfaction.

"You..." Ukyo forced down a cough that threatened to interrupt her moment of surprise. "You would help us?"

"Ucchan, you definitely need some rest," Ranma stated with certainty, his original purpose for being there forgotten. "But don't worry about us. I'll make sure Akane doesn't cook."

Another smack across the head ended any meaningful dialogue for the next five minutes, but once the youngest Tendo's violent urges were sated, the three ushered Ukyo back up to her upstairs apartment and decided upon a strategy. The strategy consisted of cute females guaranteed to draw a male populace, even if they conveniently overlooked the fact that only one of them had actually been _born_ a female.

"Ready?" Ranma glanced left and right, seeing two determined nods as the crowd gathered to watch the preparation of extreme okanomiyaki by hot babes. Each babe bore her ingredients. Konatsu held the toppings while Akane had the dough, ready for distribution. Ranma held a head of cabbage and two knives, ready for the assault. She tossed the cabbage into the air, signalling the commencement of hostilities. "Do it! Ucchan's new Okanomiyaki specialty! The _'Three Cook as One'_ platter!"

It was art. Toppings flew. Knives spun. Batter arced. And when it was all done, three perfectly constructed pies settled to the grill. Sadly, three more missed completely and the patrons took errant topping on the chin.

Literally.

"Let's get the hell out of here," One of the egg coated diners suggested and the diner began to empty in spite of the protests of the cute redheaded cook. Konatsu's hand slid behind her back, pulling out a finger length cylinder of silver. Akane's eyes widened as the cap came off, revealing a sharp point of red.

"Kunoichi delaying tactic:_ Crimson Storm!_" The next moments were a blur as the genius kunoichi plied each customer with gentle kiss, all but compelling the hormonally driven male patrons to return to their seats.

"Is that really all right?" Akane Tendo stared._ Konatsu just kissed...Ewww..._ "You're... a _guy_ after all..."

"The crimson storm is just a quick peck on the cheek," The kunoichi elaborated smugly. She may not have been the best cook, but she knew what she had and how to use it. "Men are so weak when it comes to that stuff."

"Konatsu, way to go!" Ranma cheered, completely on familiar ground with the ninja's antics and lacking his fiancées hardwired gender bias. It was a tactic the redhead had practiced many times on the road and in Nerima; a tactic refined by Hild into a truly devastating weapon. Egged on by opportunity and the presence of a somewhat kindred soul, Ranma disappeared around the corner for a moment, reappearing in something with a high hemline and leaving nothing to the imagination in terms of the redhead's curves.

"Now it's_ my_ turn."

Akane Tendo's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets as she caught sight of Ranma in what could only have been described as male diners wet dream incarnate. It was a pink and white stripped waitress's' uniform featuring an impossibly high skirt that hugged in all the right places. If the hemline didn't attract enough attention to her absolutely perfect legs, the high heels were guaranteed to in their stead. The youngest sister's cheek began to twitch as heels clicked out onto the restaurant floor. "Wha... What are you _wearing?!"_

"Wow, Miss Ranma!" Konatsu's face lit up cheerfully in presence of her sister in arms. "That's a cute outfit!"

Akane was about to protest the redhead's smug countenance when a flood a male customers burst through the doorway, fueling the martial artist's confidence further. Ranma put on her best smile and took to the spatulas, ensuring every move the customers could see was an eye full. "Hohohoho! I'll give you the best service you've ever seen!"

She was speechless. Absolutely _speechless_. Akane Tendo watched as their male customers threw money at Ranma all too willingly while she bounced to and fro, forcing the youngest Tendo to wonder if the redhead's statement concerning_ service_ held more than just a singular meaning. She knew that her fiancée harbored an ego the size of Japan, but _this... _Akane finally found her voice as Ranma served up another order. "This is wrong!"

_So very wrong_, the statement echoed in her mind, and on so many levels. Anger took hold of her psyche as resentment boiled over. _Two men are attracting more male customers than I am!_ With that thought, she finally burst. "I for one refuse to dress up in some skimpy outfit just to sell okanomiyaki!"

"Who says we want you to?" Ranma turned away from her patrons with an indifferent expression. Finally around somebody who understood, she was tired of her fiancée's constant whining. They were here to help Ukyo. By any means necessary. And so what if they were having fun in the process? Konatsu was. So was she, and that was a damn rarity in her life. If Akane wanted to take her ball and go home, that was fine. They were doing a damn fine job without her anyway. Ranma nodded to Konatsu, and both neo-girls gently shepherded the sister to the back where a stack of dishes awaited. "Konatsu and I will strut our stuff out there and _you_ stay back here."

Konatsu nodded happily with the sentiment. "Miss Akane, you can wash the dishes! Won't that be fun?"

"A transvestite and a homosexual..." Akane's temper went critical as her femininity took one bruise too many. She whirled around with a container of hot dishwater, lining up with her targets. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

Water splashed home and the result- A now male Ranma Saotome in a tight mini -was more than enough to clear the restaurant of customers. It had happened so suddenly that he didn't a chance to override the curse.

If that wasn't enough to banish every last diner from the restaurant, finding out Konatsu was a guy finished off the rest.

* * *

**T**hat same Akane Tendo winced as another metallic crunch was heard, one of many several hours later. She shook her head as another customer bit into their Okanomiyaki, only to find a five hundred yen piece embedded there in. She also watched the customer's friends congratulate his good fortune while Ukyo all but cried from her position by the register.

"I've had enough of this."

Ranma arched an eyebrow with the statement. While it was something he could certainly sympathize with, there was still a few hours until close, they were bankrupt and Ukyo was still sick. A cheer erupted from the patrons as one found a thousand yen bill in his dish. The martial artist sighed. "Konatsu and I'll help Ukyo close up. You go on home."

Akane eyed her supremely irritating fiancé before simply nodding. Normally she would accuse the pervert of... _Something_. God knew she had enough material from just this afternoon to last her _days_, but after this particular day, all she had left in her was a simple nod, leaving the homosexual martial artist and transvestite kunoichi to their own devices. Ranma watched her go, frowning as the front slider closed. There were days when she was too cute for her own good... Today hadn't been one of those days and Ranma tilted his neck, cracking it to relieve the pent up tension while revising their strategy now they were down one player.

_I can cook. Not as well as Ucchan, but well enough to keep Ucchan's afloat,_ he decided, looking over to the Kunoichi and his attempts to comfort Ukyo after she had learned they were literally giving away their profits. _Konatsu can service just fine. Just keep him away from the money.._. Ranma nodded mentally with what seemed like a sound strategy, which actually looked better now that Akane had decided to finally give up and go home. He was certain they could hold their own in the final few hours and without the tomboy constantly throwing a wrench into the works...  
_  
Which leaves one final problem. Cash_. Ranma's jaw clenched. While he wasn't a financial genius, he did know that without money to change, they were going to be hard pressed to _make_ _more_ money. Sure, they would take in some profits, but... _Just have to do what we can, I guess._

_"_Konatsu," Ranma motioned for his attention and the Kunoichi bounced over to his side. "We gotta make something back for Ucchan before we close, got it?"

"Definitely!" Konatsu stated, determination setting in the kunoichi's eyes. "I won't fail Miss Ukyo again!"

Ranma nodded. "You got service. Don't touch the money, got it? I'll handle the okanomiyaki."

"Got it, Mister Ranma!" The nin nodded.

"Pour on the charm like you were doing earlier today," The martial artist directed, looking out at the patrons who where finally exhausting their supply of free money. "With any luck, we can earn some of that money--"

The door slid open once more and where Ranma was expecting another diner, a white haired woman strode in, instantly captivating the attention of the entire restaurant. Even Ukyo blinked as the purple eyed beauty glided in, wearing high cutoff shorts and a midriff white tank top advertising the fact that a bra was clearly optional. Men cleared a space for her at the counter and it took a moment for the owners brain to catch up with who she was seeing. _That... That fiancé thief from the dojo!_ Her mouth opened to cuss the witch out, only to be preempted by another feminine voice.

"Hild-san!" Ukyo blinked, instantly recognizing Ranma's female pitch, and even Konatsu stared as the redhead bounded over to her position along the grill. Ranma sure looked... _happy?_ And when did he get splashed? "Guess it's my turn to treat you, huh?"

"Hmmm, perhaps," The woman put a tanned finger to her lips, as if deciding. "It has been ages since I have had Okanomiyaki, after all."

Ranma smiled- Actually _grinned_ -at the woman. Ukyo stared incredulously wondering when the last time she had actually seen her fiancée emote something beyond a confident smirk. "I ain't as good cook as Ucchan back there, but I can hold my own. On the house, of course."

"My ass!" Ukyo Kuonji had finally had enough, lurching up and fighting off a round of coughs in the process. Ranma twisted around to find her angry visage closing in on her. "You won't be stealing my Ran-chan, hussy! Don't think I've forgotten what happened at the dojo!"

"Dojo?" Ranma repeated, trying to remember just what had happened to piss off his oldest, best friend so badly. Hild supplied it for him.

"Urd, child."

"Urd?" Ranma wondered, then it hit her and Ranma's tone took on hint of disdain. "Oh, _Urd_. Hey Ucchan, this ain't Urd. See the star tattoo on her--?"

"She can't see the star 'tattoo'," Hild remarked casually, causing the redhead to puzzle.

Ukyo hefted the combat spatula from behind the counter, bring it upright shakily. "And why should I give a damn if it isn't?"

Ranma held up his hands, warding the girl away while interposing herself between the angry fiancee and an unflappably calm Hild. "Urd is the violent chick from the dojo. Say 'hi' to her mom, Hild."

_That_ stopped the okanomiyaki mistress. The woman behind Ranma was a dead wringer for the one in the dojo, but... "Her _mother?_ But she's only-- there's no way that--!"

"I'll take that as a compliment," The tanned woman smiled easily, turning back to the specials on the wall and ignoring her entirely. "What do you suggest, Ranma-chan?"

"Ucchan normal cooks up a mean special for me that ain't up there," Ranma jabbed a thumb back to Ukyo, who was still in a state of semi-shock. "I'll do my best, though!"

"I'm sure you will child," Hild nodded and Ranma already had the batter ladle in hand, pouring the viscous white base onto the hot stove. Ukyo moved into the vacated space, eyeing the purple eyed woman carefully.

"So you're...that woman's_ mother?_"

"Some days more than others, but yes," she replied pleasantly. Ranma ducked back over, sliding a mug of steaming tea to her with a happy grin, to which Hild inclined her head gratefully before turning back to Ukyo. "She can be a tad impetuous at times, as I'm sure you've noticed."

_Yeah, something like that_, Ukyo thought to herself before driving straight to the point. "Well she can't have my Ranma-chan."

"Oh, ho ho," Hild chuckled. Behind Ukyo the redhead flipped the pie without hearing their conversation. A mischievous glint found its way to her purple eyes. "And what makes you think she's yours?" Ukyo opened her mouth to answer, but Hild shook her head, overriding the response she already knew the answer to. "Rhetorical question, actually. Suffice to say, my child and Ranma-chan disagree with one another on certain matters. Those matters do not involve any sort of marriage arrangement."

"Damn right!" Ranma called out from over Ukyo's shoulder. "Though I can see why ya think so... She's nearly as violent as the rest of em!"

Instead of being insulted by the critique of her child, the chef was surprise by the tanned woman's giggle. "Not all the time, of course, though that wasn't one of her better days."

Ranma walked up, placing a steaming Okanomiyaki before Hild. "Doubt it's as good as that Italian place, but hope you'll like it."

"Your skills in cooking are the least of my concerns, Ranma," She smiled back and Ukyo continued to wallow in their interaction. The Hild woman was certainly beautiful enough to be a fiancée, but their banter didn't carry a fiancée vibe... But there was still that immutable law of Ranma Saotome that she had grown accustomed too: If there was a female in his life, she was either trying to marry him or kill him; sometimes both at the same time and often including herself. The woman sectioned off a piece of the okanomiyaki and savored it, making a damn near obscene show of rolling it around along her tongue before swallowing. The activity was wholly erotic and had captivated the attention of the counter's male patronage. Ukyo took a panicked glance over to Ranma to find...

...a wide smile. Nothing close to the entranced expressions of the other males, or even anything close to coveting. Instead, the grin widened. "Now who wants some of _that?_"

The sudden clamor of orders nearly knocked Ukyo off her already unsteady feet. _What the hell?!_ Her brain raced even as Hild acknowledged Ranma's dish. "Delicious, Ranma-chan."

"And Ucchan's better than me," Ranma nodded confidentially. "Speakin' of which, promised Ukyo I'd help her out since she's sick. Is it okay if I'm back and forth?"

"Of course, child," Hild smiled lazily, glancing left and right to the company of teens around her. "I'm sure these gentlemen would be happy to keep me company."

The gentleman in question were all but drooling and all Ranma could do was laugh. _Suckers,_ she labelled, knowing that the woman could more than handle herself and the bozos around her. She turned to get down to business. "Konatsu! Let's get to work!"

Ukyo watched. It's all she could do. It was like she was in the twilight zone as Ranma interacted with this overtly sexual woman without batting an eye, where in other situations her fiancee simply froze up concerning anything approaching intimate. Any eyes that left her ultimately fell on Konatsu, who sucked up the attention like the sexy-cute transvestite kunoichi he was. Money flowed as a result. The restaurateur watched for another few minutes and finally gave into the curiosity eating her alive. Ukyo turned back to the woman, who was already staring at her, as if expecting the question.

"Who _are_ you?"

"Somebody who cares," That lazy grin found it's way to her face once more, but this time it held a slightly more sinister edge. "Somebody who will go to great lengths to see Ranma-chan happy."

_That _snapped Ukyo out of her haze of disbelief and she set back to offense. "Don't get any ideas, lady. He's _my_ Ranchan."

"Hmmm," Hild tilted her head, her face reflecting amusement. It held for a moment before the woman rose up to her fully impressive height. A needling terror suddenly boiled in the chef's gut and she fought not to grovel for forgiveness at the woman's feet. "You would do well to forget this silly quest of yours, Ukyo Kuonji. I abide by you only because she holds you in favor, though there may come a day when she cannot... or rather_ will not_. If that day should come, _I will be waiting_."

The smile had remained on her lips the entire time, but it was the eyes Ukyo couldn't tear herself away from. She heard the words and her own thoughts race behind the scenes, fueled by panicked terror. Somehow she knew in that moment this woman wasn't a fiancée... And yet she was also somehow a more dire threat to her relationship with Ranma than any fiancée could ever be. The terror faded and the sinister gleam faded from Hild's eyes. "I'm glad we had this talk, dear. Ranma-chan?"

Ranma's eyes suddenly snapped up from the grill she had been tending. "What's up Hild-san?"

"May I ask a favor?" Hild pulled a letter from behind her back. The envelope was jet black, save a red wax seal melted across the seam. She place the envelope on the counter in front of Ukyo, continuing. "I have correspondence I would like delivered to a friend in upper Tokyo. If you would be so kind...?"

"Not a problem!" Ranma chirped without even asking the how or why Ukyo would have in just staring at the ominous black envelope.

"Very well," She nodded, "Then I'm afraid I must take my leave. I'll leave it in Miss Kuonji's care since your hands are rather..._doughy_ at the moment. Any time next week is fine."

Ranma stared at her hands with a chuckle, easily discerning the chunks of malleable dough and conceding Hild's point. "I'll get it there! Night Hild-san!"

"Good night to you, Ranma-chan," She smiled gently, then turned to her companions. "Good night, boys. I'm sure Ranma-chan and Konatsu-chan will take proper care of you."

The teens nodded eagerly; malleable as the dough in Ranma's hand as Hild sauntered out the door.

* * *

"**W**ell, damn," Ranma Saotome, currently male heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts eyed the address printed in flowing gold script on the front of the envelope, matching it up to the luxury apartment building he now stood before. Why he was delivering the black envelope to such a ritzy place was beyond him, but Hild had asked and she was perhaps the one person besides his own mother he didn't mind running errands for. _Probably busy runnin' hell or something,_ he rationalized and took the steps up to the front entrance. A quick, meager tug on the door told him what he already had guessed: _Locked_. Of course he could force the door with no effort whatsoever, but breaking and entering was more in line with his old man and this was a friend of Hild's after all.

Blue eyes scanned the entrance, finding a series of intercom buttons along the side frame. Ranma reviewed the address once more, picked a button and stabbed it a couple of times, then waited. His patience was rewarded after a few moments as a soft female voice came over the line. "Yes?"

"Erm," Ranma hesitated, having not scripted for this particular encounter. "Got a letter for Miss Meiou?"

Silence, then the intercom clicked back on. "Please leave it in the mail box with the rest of the correspondence."

The martial artist frowned. Given who the letter was from, he was thinking it to be important in some way. _And damned if i'm just gonna leave it in a box. _He keyed the the speaker again. "Yeah, Hild-san asked me to--"

_Click._

"Please come up," the voice advised as the lock disabled, immediately reversing the previously standoff-ish tone with a hint of... _anticipation? _Ranma smiled. Hild had that sort of effect on people and he opened up the door, easily ascending to the top floor where an intricately carved solid oak door awaited. His hand was poised to knock when the muffled female voice stopped him short. "It's unlocked. Come."

The pigtailed boy shrugged, opening the door and stepping into what was by all accounts a luxury suite. A huge, plush sofa dominated the room while the furniture surrounding it spoke of money. Large amounts of money. It was real wood, brass and crystal; none of it looking like it was bought at the discount warehouse on the corner. _And this is just one room_, Ranma whistled mentally, thoroughly impressed. He turned his attention to the sole occupant, a green haired woman who was pouring two cups of tea from a porcelain container on one of the end tables.

The emerald haired woman turned, regarding her visitor with red eyes and skeptical disposition. "You're not exactly who I would have expected Hild-san to send."

"Yeah, well, I think she's a bit busy at the moment," Ranma shrugged, moving around the sofa to accept the cup of tea the woman was offering. He took a polite sip. _Not bad._ "Heck, she only had a moment to stop by Ucchan's to say 'hi'."

The woman raised an eyebrow, but otherwise said nothing in favor of sipping her own tea before continuing. "Of course. I imagine she is a busy woman. Would that to be the correspondence in question?"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that," Ranma blinked, all but forgetting the black letter in his hand. He handed the letter over and watched her set the tea aside, breaching the red wax seal with a long fingernail. The martial artist took it as his que that his duties had been successfully discharged. "Hey, thanks for the tea, Meiou-san. Gotta go."

"Of course," She replied absently, not even looking up as she read the pale white parchment within. Ranma had reached the door and was nearly about to exit her suite when he heard her voice again. "On second thought..."

Ranma watched the woman cock her head, then look up at him, then back to the letter as if to re-read it. "If I may impose on you once more?"

"Uh, sure?" Ranma glanced back, idly curious as to what would cause the woman to request her stay.

"It says her you are adept at martial arts, is that correct?"

_That_ took Ranma back. _The letter is about me?_ "Yeah...?"

"I have a student that requires a certain familiarization with martial arts. Your references," The green haired motioned to the letter from Hild. "speak for themselves."

"I, uh..." Ranma dissembled, having been caught completely off guard. _Why would Hild san recommend me to teach somebody? Gotta be pretty damn important and I am the best, but..._ "Look, I gotta be honest... I ain't licensed to teach my art yet. Not sure if I can--"

"A technicality," Miss Meiou brushed past his objection. "If Hild-san is recommending you, that's all the only assurance I need. You will be well compensated, of course."

The martial artist brooded over the terms for a moment, considering just how much of a technicality his licensing was. In the end, he had to conclude she was right. _Can't see the old pervert declaring me ready to teach anytime soon and I can already kick Pop's ass..._

"She won't require anything advanced at this juncture," The emerald haired woman continued to outline as Ranma rolled the idea around in his head. "Just a solid foundation to get her started. Once that is accomplished, you can decide on whether you want to continue to more advanced instruction."

_A foundation. Maybe..._ it was a tightrope of technicalities, but basic instruction hardly Anything Goes. _And_ it was evidentially important to Hild-san, which was no small thing in his eyes. "I'd like ta meet her first. Can't make any guarantees until then."

"Of course," The woman acquiesced gracefully. "School and extraciricular activities most of her weekdays, but it is Saturday. If you have time, I can arrange meeting so that we may both acertain whether this will be a viable partnership."

"Don't see why not," Ranma shrugged, letting a dead chuckle slip through his consciousness._ Not like I got anything better to do... hang around the dojo, get malleted by the tomboy, chased by the girls..._

By the time he had decided, the green haired woman had already finished scribbling the name address of the person he was supposed to meet on a piece of paper. "I'll phone ahead to make sure you're expected."

"Ah, sure," Ranma nodded at the reasonable concession, taking the slip he had been offered. A quick look at the address indicates it was less than fifteen minutes away by normal walking, he estimated. "Give me about an hour. Gonna drop by somewhere for lunch first."

"Of course," She set the tea cup aside, securing it and the tray. "By the way, I never got your--"

Her protégé's trainer was already gone. Setsuna Meiou gazed at the closed door a moment before turning back to the letter she had received. She took it in hand once more, reading it silently to herself.

"What are you up to, Hild-sama?"

* * *

**T**he Crown Arcade.

Ranma looked the establishment over from the outside, idly noting the place appeared to be a cross between a gaming arcade and ice cream shop. _An ice cream shop_. Ranma smiled just a tad at the fortuitous omen and walked through the sliding glass doors and into a wave of air conditioned atmosphere. _Decent place_, he noted, mentally adding it as somewhere he'd like to return in his female form to ply the clerk for a free scoop or two. That was for later, however. At the moment, he was a guy and had business to conduct, so he stepped up the glass ice cream counter with a nod to the associate.

"Don't suppose you'd know an Tsukino-san, by any chance?" He asked, vainly trying to pick the woman out of the shop's patrons. "Was supposed to meet her--"

"Would you be Saotome-san?"

Ranma turned around fully to find a blonde with crystal blue eyes smiling at him. She was flanked by two friends, another blonde and a girl with jet black hair. Even while a portion of his brain acknowledge that all three were easy on the eyes, another recognized the simple fact that all the women in his life were lookers. The thought may have sounded egotistical as hell, but it was the _truth_, and he certainly wasn't looking to add three more.

The first blonde didn't quite have the curves that made her a bombshell when compared to somebody like Shampoo or even his own girl type, but her blonde hair and blue eyes were all but radiant, if not a tad peculiar even though she was plainly Japanese._ Then again, I ain't exactly one to talk_, Ranma reminded himself as pictures of his mother and own female form flashed through his brain. The next blonde could have easily been her sister. Unlike the first's twin streamers of blonde hair and odangos, the second held hers in a near waist length mane. Her curves were more pronounce and facial features sharper; enough to where there was no way to mistake the pair for identical twins. The final girl embodied the classic definition of Japanese beauty with her jet black hair and slate gray eyes. Even so, there was a sparkle dancing in them that demanded attention regardless of the more exotic genetics around her. Once his fleeting observations had completed and potential threats tagged, there was really only one question to ask.

"Um, hi... One of you Tsukino-san?"

The foremost blond bowed cheerfully. "That would be me! These are my friends Minako-chan and Rei-chan. Call me Usagi."

With the introduction, Usagi's blonde counterpart stepped forward with a sway in her step and a smile that bordered on predatory. While it was nowhere close to what he was used to dealing with on a regular basis, Ranma knew the signs as she introduced herself personally, causing him to shift his weight ever so slightly to avoid the potential glomp. "You can call me_ Mina_. You're who Setsuna sent to train bunny?"

Ranma nodded, ignoring the girl's showy body language for the moment. "Just some basic martial arts. Maybe something more in depth if everything works out."

"Can I have lessons, too?" Minako swooned with a syrupy smile, prompting Rei to roll her eyes.

"Oh for God's sakes, Minako," The black haired girl huffed. Part of her annoyance was in that her friend was far too obvious, the other part... "I must apologize for my friend... she can be a bit too... _Eager_ at times."

"Ah-ah!" The blonde fired back teasingly. "Jealousy is a dish best served cold!"

_Jealousy is a dish best...?_ Ranma echoed the words in his mind, certain there was something wrong with the sentence, but unable to determine what. Instead, he decided to address the issue directly. 'I, um, don't think my _fiancée_ would approve of... um.. further training."

It was the God's honest truth, too.

Bother girls ceased their arguments, their attention immediately snapping back to the boy.

"Rats!"  
"Why are all the good looking ones always taken?!"

Ranma breathed silent relief as two more potential fiancées were successfully diverted from their cause. _That just left--_

"Oh, you too? I'll have to introduce you to my Mamoru!" His potential student replied cheerfully. "We can all go out sometime!"

Ranma blinked at the happy blonde he had come to see, barely believing his good fortune. Two girls down and the other safely occupied with her own fiancée. _This might just work, _he rationalized and decided to get down to business. He had thought about the dilemma on the way over, and the hour he had requested hadn't simply been for lunch. It was to buy time while he considered the daunting task of taking on his very first student. "Uh, yeah. Sounds great. As far as the martial art goes, the first couple of lessons are to just get a feel of where you're at. Nothing hard or anything. Do you have any background in the art whatsoever?"

Minako snickered with the question. "The only art she knows is sleeping in class and inhaling food."

Even Rei chuckled at Usagi's pinkening face. "And she's a klutz."

"So mean!" The focus of their jibes balked, though even Ranma could tell they were playful in nature and the girl had taken them in kind.

"Well, we got two thing in common then," Ranma ventured with a smirk. "Hopefully, by the time we're done we'll have a third."

The girl blinked, but giggled, easing his worries that the joke hadn't gone over well. "Meiou-san says you're busy most of the week, so we can either start today or tommorow, but either way, I wouldn't advise it in somethin' as nice as that."

His gesture was for the t-shirt/skirt combination she had been wearing. It accentuated her petite figure nicely and would stand up to the initial practice he had in mind, but was also likely to be a sweaty mess by the time they were done.

It would have also been easy for Usagi to take it the wrong way. It was innocuous comments such as that one that had all but cemented fiancée for life status for women in Ranma's past, but in this particular moment, the stars were seemingly aligned for the martial artist. This particular girl was safe to make those sorts of comments around. After all, she already had a fiancée. Hell, she wanted them to _meet._ Usagi took the compliment as a fact of life in turn. Sure, it could have been the in-roads to a cheesy pickup line from anybody else, but he had just shut down her friends entirelyby announcing his fiancée. If that wasn't love, then she didn't know what love was. And he was ultimately right. Aerobics in these clothes would be a bad idea.

"Maybe this afternoon then?" She suggested, looking to either of her friends for support. Both shrugged. It meant putting off their shopping trip, but if Setsuna thought it was important enough to send this guy to train Usagi...

"Sounds good. Is that park I passed east of her a good place?" Ranma wondered aloud, trying to determine a good place where they could set up shop. "Looked like it had enough open space, but not bein' from this part of town..."

"It should be fine," Usagi glowed with a friendly smile. "Three o'clock then!"

"Three o'clock," Ranma returned the grin. _This might just work out okay..._

* * *

"**I **mean, what's the idea, anyway?" Ranma asked as she casually flipped an okanomiyaki, one of three she was tending to simultaneously over the hot grill. "Not that I mind... A klutz like her needs all the help she can get."

"She is one of the contracts I personally maintain," Hild explained with a bemused smile. One of the okanomiyakis came of the grill and Konatsu was already on it, whisking it away to its table. The kunoichi put enough sway into her movements to ensure every male eye appreciated the effort.

Ranma paused at the second okanomiyaki, knowing something of her good friend and the contracts my now. It was a bit disconcerting that the blonde she had been tasked to train was part of one. "Uh, did she do something bad too?"

"Oh, goodness no," The white haired woman assured. "In fact, she's rather important in a number of circles, which is one of the reasons I requested your personal involvement."

"Ah, well that's good," The red head returned to the half finished okanomiyaki with a measure of relief while the woman maintained her amused smile. Normally she would have told Ranma why she was having her personally see to the girl's training in the interests of their mutual openness, but Malcanthet's idea was a a stroke of genius. _And if it bears fruit on other fronts beyond those concerning you, child, all the better_, the Daimakaichō chortled internally as Ranma topped another doughy disk and flipped it onto the counter.

"Oh, Miss Ukyo!" The kunoichi paused in his table runs as the okanomiyaki mistress descended the stairs from her upstairs apartment already dress for work. Ranma likewise turned around with a smile.

"Feelin' better, Ucchan?" She spied the girl, who actually did look one hundred times better than she had in the last few nights.

Ukyo cleared the final step with a nod, taking a breath of fresh air... Or sauce and oil laced air, as was the case here._ Ranchan's using too much oil,_ part of her brain identified as she soaked up the peripheral information. _Decent turnout tonight, so he can't be doing that bad. Of course, that's why he's my_-- Her thought process stopped cold as her eyes fell upon the white haired woman with purple eyes.

"Ranma..." Her tone dropped a few degrees. "What's _she_ doing here?"

"Um, just talkin'?" The redhead blinked, looking from her one time best friend turned fiancée to the demoness sitting across the grill then back. Even though she didn't have a clue as to what had triggered the mood, Ukyo's tone did all the explaining there needed.

"Hello, Miss Kuonji," Hild smiled innocently, waving a bangled hand. "Care to join us?"

"Yeah, we were just talkin'--"

"_You_ can stay," Ukyo stated in no uncertain terms. "She_ can't._"

Ranma just stared at her, wondering just what the hell had transpired between the two, and came to the only logical conclusion present with the facts available. "Look Ucchan, I told ya, she's not Urd. I mean, yeah--"

"It's okay, Ranma," Hild put a comforting hand on his arm to forestall any further explanations. "I was just about to leave... Though I did want to impart a warning before I did so."

She now had the red head's complete and undivided attention.

"There are factions stirring in China," She elaborated, sliding from her bar stool as she prepared to make good on her exit. "Factions with a direct interest in Jusenkyo. If they should happen upon your doorstep, I would suggest you do not take them as lightly as you have your previous opponents."

"I don't take--" A single raised eyebrow from the Daimakaichō was all it took to squash that particular objection and honesty reigned the Saotome in. "Okay, so maybe I do sometimes. That bad, huh?"

Hild smiled at the 'sometimes', but let it slide before returning to a more serious demeanor. "While certain restrictions prevent me from being as forthcoming as I would like concerning them, the winged ones respect the universal constant of brute force. I would not be gentle were I you."

"_Ahem_."

"And with that, I must go," Hild smirked at Ukyo's not so subtle reminder that the Grand Demoness was not welcome. Ranma cast a troubled look back at Ukyo before returning to Hild. "Ja-ne, Ranma-chan. Stop by my office. I do so need a suitable distraction from my work, you know?"

"Happy to," The redhead smiled brightly at having been deemed a suitable distraction and Hild turned, exiting the establishment. Ranma watched fondly for a moment until another presence sidled up next her position at the grill. Ukyo was tying her apron on with an unpleasant look on her face.

"Seriously, Ranchan. I'd watch her if I were you," she frowned, tying the knot, then grabbing on of her own cooking spatulas. "I wouldn't be surprised if that hussy was trying to--"

"Hild-san _ain't_ a hussy." It was Ukyos turn to blink at what was otherwise her normally laid back fiancée, whose expression had faded into stony resolve. "She ain't a fiancée either. She's a friend. Just like you."  
_  
A... a friend...? but your mother said.. I'm..._

Ranma's tone soften a measure and she pasted a weak smile, untying her own apron. "Look, you're feelin' better so... Probably should let you get back to work."

"But... Ranchan..." Ukyo murmured softly as the pigtailed girl set the apron aside and stepped out from behind the grill. "You don't have to--"

Ranma was gone as well.

* * *

_**M**orons. Goddamn morons_. Ranma Saotome thought as he stared out into the upside down neighborhood from the roof that was the Tendo dojo. Of course, it wasn't the neighborhood that was upside down, but the martial artist himself, having been punched through the roof by one pissed off Akane Tendo. Granted, he'd be pissed off too. _Who the hell knocks their own daughter unconscious to marry her off ta somebody else?_

But that's exactly what he had found out happened upon arriving to the place he had called home for the last year and a half. Apparently Soun had signed off on knocking his own daughter senseless in order to make her more pliable to the shotgun wedding Tendo and his old man had cooked up while he had been at the Uucchan's._ Of course, they get yelled at. I get punched_, Ranma observed bitterly from his upside down position, the hole he had been punched through no less than a meter behind him. It was something he had seen time and time again, and it was getting _old_... Her family could do no wrong. Nabiki took pictures? Blame invariably found its way to his person. Idiot parents botch their master plan for marriage? His fault.

Ranma crossed his legs while maintaining a stable center of gravity on his head. Even Ryoga of all people was blameless in her eyes, which was really screwed up._ Hild was right on that one_, he snorted to himself derisively. _And damned if I can--_

"Saotome."

A heavy blanket of ambient pressure suddenly flooded his senses and his vision was obscured by a shapely tan calve which reached all the way up into the long slit of a ivory-blue trimmed robe. That was the extent of his vision from the current angle, but it was all he needed since the vocal inflection told him the rest. "Seniors Mahjong get out early today, Urd?"

The leg shifted and a growl was heard. A face bobbed into view as the woman bent down, incidentally affording him an excellent view down the canyon of her ample clevage. "Has it ever occurred to you that Hild is _much_ older than I am?!"

"Yeah, but she carries it better," Ranma affected an upside down shrug. He paused with a smirk. "And she's better built to boot."

"GRRRRR..." The Goddess of the past bore her teeth with a snarl, yet failed to remove or otherwise cover her cleavage from his viewpoint. "You couldn't have possibly have been this annoying before you met my mother!"

"I got people that say otherwise," he stated matter-of-factly before extending his legs and pivoting out, effectively flipping to his feet like an expert gymnast.

Urd's cheek twitched at the unabashed display of ego, but pushed her annoyance down to a low simmer as she looked over the boy, who looked none the worse for the wear considering the hole he had obviously exited the Tendo household through. Either way, it was besides the point and she got down to business. "We need to talk about her."

"Jeez, not this again," Ranma all but collapsed back to the roof and lounged into its tiled surface. He rolled his eyes at the goddess now standing over him. "Gettin' punched through the roof again would be more fun, I'm tellin' ya."

Well, not really, but he persisted in smirking at the woman regardless.

"How can you ignore what she did to those people in the pit?" Urd pressed accusingly. "That could very easily be you!"

"They deserved it from what I saw," Ranma remarked indifferently and the white haired goddess shook her head. "You guys ain't gonna take em'. Not that I blame you either, because I'd be kickin their asses out too; but Hild-san's doin' you all a favor the way I see it."

"Not everybody deserves her version of 'justice'," She explained urgently, attempting to relay the very concepts of damnation and salvation. "She lures people into temptation and obscures the path to righteousness. With your proximity to her, you have to know what she's doing with those contracts!"

"So let me get this straight," Ranma relayed with an air of boredom. "You gotta problem with Hild-san offering freaks a contract that will ultimately take them outta circulation?"

"She's enabling them! She all but encourages them to go forth and do greater evils while forfeiting their chance at forgiveness," Urd was practically shouting now, her robes fluttering even though no breeze was present. "Take the Tendo girl, for example..."

"Nabiki?" Ranma arched an eyebrow. _Now_ things were getting interesting. It was only a guess, but it was an easy one none the less.

"Yes, the middle sister," Urd confirmed. "What if I were to tell you that Hild already has a contract for her?"

Ranma thought about it a moment before replying. "Wouldn't surprise me, I guess. Been screwin' with people long before I got here."

"_Hell_, Ranma. She's slated for a one way trip if mother ever decides to collect on that contract. How does that make you feel?" The eldest of the Norns pressed, hoping to crack Ranma's shell of indifference towards her mother's activities. "Does she deserve a trip to Ogdru?"

She was rewarded in that moment as a frown bore across his face as a result. The frown didn't get too far before he countered with his own question. "What'd she get for it?"

Urd's fledgling sense of victory stalled with the question, knowing it wouldn't go over well._ Not at all._ "Twenty seven thousand yen."

"For?"

Urd broke eye contact, looking out into across the neighborhood herself. "For a promise to keep everybody away from the dojo while Hild took your virginity."

The silence between them held for a moment before she heard the last thing she expected to hear... A chuckle. Urd turned back to him and his amused countenance. "Yeah, she mentioned that, come to think of it. I mean seriously? How stupid can ya be, selling your soul for a few bucks?"

Urd stared. And _stared_. "You can't seriously condone that sort of pact!"

"You wouldn't be sayin' that if you knew Nabiki," Ranma shook his head, his expression still holding an edge of mirth. "Even if she had known, Nab's would have caved. Only question is how how much money it woulda taken to do it. You know she almost drove her own family broke in some stupid challenge a few weeks ago? Woulda killed herself and Akane too in a goddamn _coin operated helicopter_ if I hadn't been there."

"But is that worth a few millennia in the pit?" Urd drove the point home, causing Ranma pause.

"Maybe not, but she don't exactly have my best interests at heart either," The martial artist shrugged. Nabiki wasn't innocent by any means, but the pit... "Maybe I'll talk to Hild-san about her. Then again, maybe yankin' open that big ass gate for a few years would do her some good, too."

Urd continued to cast a brooding glare at the uncaring boy, her brain churning to figure out some way to engage him... Some way to pry her mother's hooks from--

_CAW! CAWCAWCAW CAW! CAW!_

"Huh?" Ranma's head swung around toward the avian noise and found a black mass floating on the horizon, steadily approaching them. Urd watched the jumbled black cloud as well, frowning. The crowing continued as the blot approached and Ranma could see that it was indeed comprised crows. _Hundreds. _A huge, unnatural flock of them circling... _A girl_. She couldn't have been more than seven, dressed in Chinese silks and--

The crows dove on her.

_Oh, hell,_ Ranma's eyes widened as the flocked dipped into the alley adjacent a nearby construction site. _"Look out!"_

Ranma Saotome was off the roof in a leap, stepped lightly across the top of a phone pole to bridge the gap and dove into the girl himself, scooping her up as he rolled across the ground and sliding up next to a pile of gravel. The flocking bird's pursuit was instantly routed as his hands dug into the pile and improvised point defense pellet fire, killing the leading elements outright with the stones and dispersing the rest of the crowd. The flock disintegrated, revealing its core. A man. With _wings_.

"Kakakkakaka!" It chattered from aloft while the surviving crows circled around him. He looked every bit human until one noted his hands and feet had been supplanted by what appeared to be completely natural raptor's talons. Two meter wings held the hybrid aloft as it glowered down upon them. "Give me the girl!"

"Hell no!" Ranma retorted, and slid into a protective stance in front of the child.

"Kakakaka! Then you die now!"

Even as it committed to it's attacking dive, Ranma knew that Hild had been right. The winged ones had arrived.

* * *

**Author's notes--**  
Well, we're finally here… book 37! Thanks for sticking with the fic as I take liberties with behind the scenes canon. Chapter 8 will mark the transition of HiaMA into a continuation fic with the telling of Saffron.

**Malcanthet** - _AD&D Succubus Queen, Malcanthet is described as an incredibly beautiful human-like female with bat-wings, horns, and a long prehensile tail tipped with a spike-like stinger._

**ZOMGSenshi** - _Believe it or not, they've been a part of the plot since it's foundation from day one, even back before my recent attempts to do non Senshi fics. See how well that's worked out?_

**Book 36** - _Think I'm joking? Follow Ranma and Konatsu along on his okanomiyaki adventures in Book 36, "Trying to Proper (forcefully)". Aside from Ranma actually attempting to beat the living daylights out of Akane in the Koi Rod arc, this is one of my favorite chapters in the series. I'll post the link in the fiction index on my ffnet page._

**GoogleDocs **-_ Second chapter constructed nearly from the ground up using Google Docs, and I'm still working through a coherent writing process concerning it. It's great for collaboration, not so great for final editing and I find myself transporting everything to Word for the stronger editing features._

**Special Tanks** -_ And yes, that's armor. Yas, Tri, DT, MB, DCG and Slade13. This is where google docs shines. Additional thanks to the suggestions from those on the F3 forum, also posted on my ffnet page._


	8. Chapter 8

**Hell is a Martial Artist**  
Chapter 8

_By Ozzallos

* * *

_

_**F**__loating._

_Ranma Saotome was floating on an updraft of wind as chi swirled around him, buffeting the martial artist from within the air currents of the tornado that he himself had initiated. It would have been a thrilling ride; save the fact he was here to do a job... or more aptly, to finish the job. Hild had been right. He had taken Saffron too lightly, but what could he have done realistically? The great, almighty leader of the Phoenix was little more than a child, after all… _

…_And now that child was an adult of monstrous power; power enough to where there was no longer any room to entertain the possibility of beating him into submission. Hild had been right. The only thing the brat understood was brute force, and now that he was an adult, there was nothing stopping the martial artist from committing to her advice in full. He had given Saffron his out. Instead, the bastard had taken his own and used them as pawns… Hostages. He wasn't a child anymore, and now it was time…_

…_It was time for Saffron to die._

_He had wrestled with the decision briefly, debating over the moral dogma of taking another life. But again, Hild-san's words rang true. Leaving Saffron alive- even if there had been a comfortable margin to do so -would do little more than leave yet another powerful enemy at his back. It wasn't something that the teen looked forward to, but damned if he would leave the bird king alive to take another shot at him and the others some time down the road._

_The tornado did its job and surprise had been total, allowing him the cover to ascend to height and take the opportunity he needed. Ranma descended out of the swirling vapor with the Gekkaja already on its down stroke, leaving the Phoenix King barely enough time to parry the strike meant for his head. The deflecting arm turned to solid ice instantly, taking with it a good portion of his upper right torso and tearing away his right wing. Either way, it merely inconvenienced the man-bird, who caught the Kinjakan out of the passing tempest to re-engage the martial artist while his limbs regenerated. _

_Saffron's fire returned and Ranma was all but bathed within, narrowly cheating death time and time again as the bird king's attacks grew hotter and hotter. The king had power to spare. He could regenerate limbs at will. He could fly. And through it all, Ranma knew he was losing; buying time until he could retake the advantage._

_"…There may come a day when there are no good choices left. You are buying time in the hope a more opportune position will avail itself to you..."_

_The words floated through the Ranma's mind as he in turn floated through the maelstrom, using upturned fragments of earth as makeshift bludgeons and shielding until he could maneuver into melee range. A solid blow. Two. The Phoenix King was weak when it came to those, but his innate regeneration more than made up for the disadvantage. Another blow. More fire in return._

_Only one thing was going to kill this bastard. A tornado of ice straight through his heart. All he needed was one good shot. One reference point through the firestorm and-_

_What? Akane!_

_She lanced through the fireball, boiling ice away from her body until he could see Saffron's face through her wake._

_It was all Ranma needed._

_The martial artist's arm spiraled and he dug hard into the elemental catalyst, winding the modified Hiryuu Shoten Ha as tight as physically possible before releasing it deep into the Phoenix King's chest. Ranma would remember the surprised look on his face until his dying day as they both fell to Earth. But there was Akane…_

_Akane!_

_Ranma._

_Akane!_

_Ranma!_

_Ak-_

**RANMA!**

The pig tailed boy jerked up suddenly, his head swiveling left and right. He was no longer falling to the earth, nor was Akane a magically dehydrated doll. She was sitting in the desk next to him, in fact, staring at him… As was the rest of the class and one perturbed Hinako Ninomiya, tapping her currently pre-teen foot impatiently.

"Buckets, Saotome!" She pointed to the doorway, causing Ranma to sigh. The martial artist slid out from the chair, more than happy to take the buckets to the dream. Akane simply rolled her eyes but held the 'baka' that was all but ready to slip off her tongue. Instead, she watched as her fiancée exited the class room less the cloak of smugness he usually wore.

The door closed. Akane _worried.

* * *

_

"**I **let her in Hild-dono," The pale demon-slash-receptionist motioned to Hild's own office door, which remained cracked open to indicate the anonymous entry.

Hild glanced at the ashen door and nodded gravely. "Thank you, Amanda. Short of the sudden outbreak of Ragnarok, we are not to be disturbed."

"Of course, Daimakaichō,"

With her orders given, Hild turned to the door and pushed it open gently to reveal her office in its usual opulence. Nearly everything was the way she had left it, save three things: First, the curtain was open, folded aside to reveal the view of the Nifelheim cityscape in all its grandeur. That in and of itself was far from unusual, though she had ensured its closure before leaving earlier this morning. Second was the singular book missing from the second bookshelf left of her desk. As her sometimes second home for the last half of eternity, that sort of detail stuck out like a sore thumb, which in turn led the Grand Demoness' final observation; one petite redhead nearly curled up on the black leather of her office sofa flipping through the pages of said book, though she would be surprised if any sort of retention was actually taking place.

_Perhaps we shall change that, _Hild fought the fond smile from her face and instead put a single index finger to her chin, musing aloud. "Jusenkyo type curses are actually in volume six, dear."

Ranma Saotome blinked. The woman had entered the office so quietly that absolutely none of her senses had been triggered. Of course, it had been Hild, and it was her office anyway, but it only confirmed the redhead's estimate of her ability. Ranma looked at her, then the book with a shrug. "Was bored, y'know?"

Hild chuckled slightly. "The Curses and Hexes Compendium is hardly light reading."

"Figure I got enough of those hangin' around me somehow," Again the shrug, this time delivered with an uncaring expression. "Might as well try getting familiar with 'em.'"

Ranma went back to the book and Hild frowned visibly this time. It was obvious... So painfully obvious, and she sat down next to the martial artist, sidling up next to her. Crystal blue eyes glanced back up at her, and a millennium's worth of experience reading emotions told the Daimakaichō everything she needed to know. Hild brushed a red lock from the girl's eyes and shook her head.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there, Ranma-Chan," She sighed. "I'm in a somewhat… _difficult_ position."

"Sure, you got hell to run," Ranma put her best nonchalant front forward. "Not like you can come runnin' every time a-"

The purple eyed woman put a finger to the redhead's lips, shushing her gently. "If only it were that easy, child, if only. For all the power I wield, Ranma-Chan, I am _too_ powerful to descend into the affairs of mortals unless specific circumstances are met. Saffron is little more than dust compared to that power, and yet…"

Ranma tilted her head, forgetting the book for a moment. "Really?"

"Indeed," Hild confirmed. "In fact, there are specific prohibitions against my direct interference. To even descend in to the mortal realm, I must have these on me at all times."

"Jewelry," Ranma stated, noting the bangles and earrings the woman was pointing out without understanding the significance.

"Limiters. _Power_ limiters," Hild explained. "My child has a bracelet. Maybe an earring at most. Her sister, one or two more as accorded to her stature. My garb is literally cloaked in them, as you can see."

Ranma could see. And she could remember her outings with Hild in the past. Necklaces. Ankle bracelets. Wrist bangles. Rings. She turned a critical eye toward the white layers of hair. "Even the braid?"

"Even the braid," Hild confirmed solemnly. "If one looked at it from a martial arts stand point, it would be like somebody of your caliber challenging a crippled puppy to a duel."

Ranma winced with the example, though it served to drive the point home with absolute clarity. The woman continued, and the very air around her darkened as she did so. "That said, had he hurt you, I would _find_ some way to ensure that he and his tribe would regret the act for a very, _very_ long time._"_

The statement itself brought the redhead up short more than the darkening aura around the grand demoness, and Ranma held little doubt that she would absolutely carry out that threat to the fullest extent of her formidable abilities. It invoked a feeling she hadn't felt in all the ten years' worth of training with her old man, and likewise found it completely lacking in the subsequent year and change with the Tendos. Even having met her own mother, there was still that ill defined void, but with Hild here and now...

...It felt _nice_.

"Not that I'd bother ya for a wimp like Saffron," Ranma inserted with bravado in lieu of an easily expressed emotion. "Overgrown bird boy had that ass kickin' coming."

"And I watched the entire thing," Hild's mood relented, and the black aura evaporated as she patted the pleased girl on the head. "Nor did I doubt the outcome for a moment. Any mortal that could defeat my Urd would require substantially more skill than that hatchling displayed to even begin worrying me."

Ranma positively glowed with the praise now and the demoness lifted herself from the leather sofa, pulling the teen's book away with the movement. "I say we do something to get your mind off the troublesome happenings of late." She shelved the obvious indicator of Ranma's former depression and turned back to the redhead with an easy grin. "In fact, I have just the thing."

"What's that?" Ranma hopped off the sofa with new found anticipation.

Hild's grin widened. "Let's go play with the Norns."

* * *

**T**wo little girls walked along the streets of Nerima, neither more than ten years old and both angling for the train station no more than a block away. Those walking along side or past the pair would inevitably stare as they passed since the girls were curious sights in and of itself. The attention they drew wasn't due to any shapely curves or innate beauty; both were far too young to betray any of the hallmarks of adolescence. What did stand out was that the two were exotic in appearance. The first child was richly tanned, featuring white hair braided into twin ponytails and long bangs. She wore a strappy black leather ensemble, replete with buckles and nearly thigh high stiletto boots that folded at the top. On a woman twice her apparent age, the outfit would have been... _enticing_. On the girl, it was outrageous and people stared as they passed.

Her friend was only slightly more conservatively dressed, though still stuck out in the fine gold dragon embroidered Chinese silks the other girl had loaned her for this expedition in particular. She was all but her partner's height but sported fiery red hair tied into a single pigtail at the back. Where the other girl could have been dismissed as a gaijin, the redhead in black could not, which made her general appearance even more bizarre since she was plainly Japanese. Her name was Ranma Saotome, and she continued to fidget as a similarly de-aged Hild led the way.

"Still ain't used to this," The redhead commented, looking at her hands as they walked. Even her voice sounded funny with the higher pitch. Sure, she had done this before, but not willingly and not without the aid of magical fungus. "And why did we have go like this? It's really weird."

"So we can have fun!" Hild chirped, smiling back at her broadly. "Besides, it's easier to have fun in this form anyway since a majority of my power is sealed off."

"And you're still back at the office too?" Ranma arched a thin red eyebrow, to which the white haired girl nodded happily.

"I'm _really_ good at multitasking."

It was weird enough, but if that was what Hild did to unwind, Ranma was more than willing to try it at least once and had thus consented to the de-aging process to match her friend. In the end, chibi Ranma-chan shrugged, being no stranger to the strange while acknowledging the fact that fun sounded really good right about now. Something to forget the shit storm that was her life in general, and especially the stuff as of late. Hild hummed along merrily and Ranma followed, then suddenly saw something to cause her pause.

Or rather _someone_.

A queer, mischievous smile slowly spread across the Saotome's face, and she stopped her partner. "Hey Hild-chan... Come're a sec."

Purple eyed girl blinked curiously, but followed as Ranma homed in on another girl approximately their age. She wore a simple yellow dress that rested knee high, while her brunette mane of hair fell down her back to the waist. Ranma's target was across the street, her face pressed into the plate glass store-front of a candy store with drool slowly working its way down the transparent surface. The diminutive martial artist stepped up to the all but oblivious girl's back, smiling.

"Hey, Hinako-Chan!"

A disgusting suction sound accompanied the girl pulling her face from the window, and she turned to the speaker curiously. "Hi! I, er... You look familiar?"

The redhead chuckled. "Duh, I'm Ranma, and this is my friend Hild!"

The age defiant high school teacher stared through the lens of nine year old girl's intellect... And stared some more. "But you... you're... You're like _me_ now!"

"Yep," Ranma stated, declining to offer the child the how's or why's of the transformation. Instead, she directed the hyperactive child-teacher's attention onto a different topic altogether. "Hey, Hinako-Chan, we're going to go have some fun over in Chiba. Wanna come along?"

Hild meanwhile watched curiously as Ranma continued to coax the girl to accompany them. It was a strange thing for the Daimakaichō, really. Involving the little girl would only limit their fun with the Norns. Ranma had to know that, but she was still vying for her company...

"I don't know... She looks like a delinquent," The brown haired girl cast a critical eye toward Ranma's friend as she considered the offer.

Hild paused in her mental commentary, staring at 'Hinako-Chan'. _A delinquent?_ She echoed, unsure of what to make of the statement. A quick glance over at Ranma indicated teasing smirk. Of course, the girl was absolutely correct... She was the ruler of hell and perhaps the universe's foremost expert on delinquency and misbehavior, but that word usually wasn't found in the vocabulary of small children. The grand chibi-demoness cocked her head and reached out with ethereal senses, quickly discovering the reason for her partner's smirk. _She's not child at all,_ Hild realized, probing deeper. _At least in her twenties... Her chakra pathways are an absolute mess..._

"Nah, Hild-chan is nice," Ranma rose to the defense of her friend with a smile, tugging Miss Hinako along. "Come on. We'll have lots of fun!"

"Fun?" The girl processed the word, her short attention span all but forgetting the former misgiving. Hild nodded with a wide smile, but couldn't help but to be surprised by Ranma's spot improvisation and the devious streak she was displaying. "Okay! Will there be candy?"

"What good is fun without candy?" Hild nodded cheerfully, falling in line with the redhead's setup. "I'm sure auntie Bell will give us _lots_."

Miss Hinako beamed with the offer and the trio of girls was off and running for the train station now, all three determined to have _lots _of fun.

* * *

"**N**ice place, I guess," The child avatar of Ranma Saotome commented as she and her companions rounded the final block that brought the Tariki Hongan temple into view. In some ways it reminded her of the dojo, though the property seemed to hold its classic architecture with a majesty that the Tendo's place couldn't hope to match... Especially since her place was under constant martial arts siege and in need of continuous repair.

"It was a dump before Auntie-bell got to it," The nine year old version of Hild sniffed with an edge of humor and continued. "A real dump, but she's a neat freak like that."

"Auntie-Bell?" Ranma asked, cocking her head in an attempt to place the reference. The white haired child nodded.

"Belldandy, Urd-Chan's half sister." Hild explained as they walked along the sidewalk parallel to the shrine's property wall. When understanding failed to find its way to the martial artist's features, the child ruler of hell elaborated. "The third girl from when we were first acquainted."

"_Oooooh,"_ The redhead's head bobbed with sudden understanding, remembering the third woman and the Moko Takabisha she had been holding against Hild. A slightly devious smile found its way to her face. "Well, I guess this is gonna be all sorts of fun then."

"Are we there yet?"

The redheaded girl and her white haired counterpart glanced back to the third of their trio, a brunette girl of similar age showing an inquisitive, if slightly vacant expression.

"Almost," Chibi-Hild indulged the girl, still wondering at Ranma's logic in bringing the girl. Of course, she could outright _ask_. As a master manipulator herself, half the fun was watching it all fall apart, and she simply couldn't wait to find out how it would do so concerning their tag along.

"But I'm tired of walking!" Hinako whined, to which Ranma rolled her own eyes.

"Thought you said you wanted to have fun?"

"But it's far!" The girl balked. "I need to go to-"

***STOP!***

All three girls stopped abruptly as the red sign suddenly filled their field of vision. It was also perhaps one of the most comical sights Ranma had laid eyes on in recent memory; rivaled only by the appearance of the pork bun bandits attempting to steal the dragon whisker from her person several months back. _It_ was a robot. Or at least she was guessing it was a robot, judging by the mechanical arms and metallic shell; though it was all Ranma could do not to laugh at the red and white meatball of technology that barred their entrance into the Tariki Hongan temple.

The redhead arched a skeptical eyebrow at the automaton as it held the stop sign out, clearly intent on preventing their entrance before turning back to Hild; behind her, Ninomiya Hinako, who stared on curiously.

"You're kidding, right?" She asked, glancing back to the robot before simply shaking her head.

"Ranma, why do your friends have a dishwasher outside their shrine?" Hinako blinked innocently, studying the artifact for herself now. It hung its head with her words, as if emotionally stricken.

"Banpei is not a dishwasher!" An irritated voice called out, and the martial artist had to stand on her nine year old tip toes to see around the robot to the disgruntled source. A black haired girl stormed up from behind the sentry with a grumpy look on her face. "And he's here to keep trouble makers like _you_ out!"

"You use a dishwasher to keep troublemakers out?" The currently child disciplinarian pressed, slightly confused at just how such a technique could be applied to her own classes.

Ranma choked down her own laughter as Skuld's face took on an even more irritated look, which only succeeded in making her look pathetically cute. Even Hild smirked at the incensed Goddess of the Future before inserting herself into the conversation.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Skuld-chan," The Daimakaichō's own child voice lilted cheerfully. "We're just here to see Auntie Bell and Urd-chan!"

"Well _they _don't want to see _you,_ so get lost!" Skuld huffed, and Banpei reaffirmed her statement with a fierce nod. Ranma rolled her own eyes and moved to step around the robot, who in turn moved to block her path, shaking its head adamantly.

Ranma studied it and the stop sign it menaced her with and shrugged, taking to the air with a small hop to land on the creation's domed head, destabilizing its balance slightly before hopping back to the ground behind it. The teen goddess' eyes widened as Banpei regained its balance before turning her ire on the redheaded nine year old.

"Hey!" She balked, rushing over to the mortal to confront her directly. Ranma simply gave her a bored look as she continued walking. "Hey! You can't do that!"

"And your robot's gonna stop me?" The young martial artist asked in a tone that conveyed her doubt, annoying the black haired goddess further. Behind the pair, Banpei abandoned his post to keep up, while Ranma's friends walked through the now unmanned anti-demon checkpoint.

"As a matter of fact, he will!" Skuld proclaimed as the whirling of oiled hydraulics finally caught up to them, and the spherical robot planted itself in Ranma's path once more. It thrust the stop sign out obnoxiously, shaking its head.

Ranma gave the robot a half lidded look. "I suppose that's a challenge."

The robot nodded fiercely and a wide mental grin materialized across Ranma's psyche, a grin showing in sharp contrast to the bored expression on her face. She rolled her eyes at Skuld for effect and baited the hook. "All right, fine. If your tin can here wins, we go home; no questions asked."

"Banpei can take anything you throw at him," The Goddess of the Future crossed her arms, confident in her creations abilities.

"Good," The red headed nine year old smirked, leading the robot and its master away from the slate stone path that lead to the house and into the open space courtyard. Both followed eagerly and Ranma glanced back at Hild and Miss Hinako just long enough to give them a wink before turning back to her marks. "'Cuz all he has to do is knock me off my feet."

Skuld's confidence failed for a split second as visions of the redheaded dervish from their very _first _encounter came to mind. This was the very same mortal that had gone toe to toe with her sister and _won._ That sliver of doubt, however, was banished almost as soon as it was called forth. All Banpei had to do with knock her off her feet.

How hard could that possibly be?

A confident smile spread across her face as the girl found a patch of real estate within the temple courtyard and waited. She'd have this girl and Hild and her other new friend gone before they knew it.

"And that's our cue," Hild nudged Hinako, leading her away back down the stone path and away from the trio squaring. The brunette looked from Hild, back to Ranma, then back to Hild with a questioning look.

"Um, shouldn't we help Saotome put that robot bully in its place?"

"Nah, she'll be fine!" The white haired child chirped, continuing to the shrine's door with the girl in tow. Her statement was all but a certainty, but it was the tactical implications that intrigued the Grand Chibi Demoness the most. Ranma had just removed Skuld from play by occupying the goddess personally so that she, in turn, could personally deliver the Ninomiya... As _if the child was a bomb herself_, Hild smiled with thought; wondering just what this particular bomb's payload was.

"Besides, Ranma-chan needs to blow off some steam," The Daimakaichō commented, sliding the shrine door open with ease.

"Skuld-Chan, could you please help with-"

"Hi, Bell!"

"Oh, hello-" Belldandy blinked upon recognizing the unexpected voice, turning away from the clothes she had been folding next to the hallway closet. The pleasant demeanor abruptly lapsed into a neutral expression as she considered her newest guests, bowing slightly. "Good day, Hild-san. I must say, we weren't expecting you to drop by."

Implicit in the statement was that not only that her visit unexpected, but unwelcome. Hild threw her a cheeky smile as if the comment were little more than banter between friends."Just in the neighborhood. Say 'hi' to my friend-"

The space beside the white haired girl was already vacant, causing Hild to blink before quickly reacquiring the child, who was already conducting her own tour of the living room. Even Belldandy stared curiously at the girl in the yellow dress as she zipped from one side of the room to the other, eagerly overturning figurines that she and Keichii had collected as decorations. The girl would give them a quick observation, occasionally shake them once or twice before moving on to the next item that caught her attention; invariably leaving the last overturned.

"Ohh! So cute!" Ninomiya Hinako found a hand sized lucky cat and gave the porcelain figure a good shake before gleefully throwing it into the air several times to be caught. Belldandy's brown eyes followed each trip into the air with worried trepidation before it was caught one last time and put back out of place while the child moved on. "I want this one! _Ooh!_ This is nice! Can I take this one home?"

A pensive look began to manifest on the Goddess' face as the girl continued to overturn the room's contents with reckless abandon. Belldandy let her powers flow out to caress the child, though it only served to confirm the obvious: Something was _wrong _with the hyperactive brunette, causing her to turn to Hild, who seemed to have been taken somewhat by surprise herself. "Hild-Sama, your..._friend._...?"

It wasn't what the Ruler of Hell had been expecting from the child and was still unsure if this was Ranma's intention for the girl, or if there was more to come. Certainly she was going to become a supreme annoyance, but... Instead of resolving the dilemma, she turned an easy smile on the Goddess of the Present. "Oh, Bell-chan, I'd like you to meet Ninomiya Hinako."

Belldandy looked from girl, then to the Daimakaichō and back with a befuddled look. Like the Grand Mistress of Hell, she had been expecting something more... _Pernicious_. "Um, Hinako... _chan?_"

The girl paused in her excavation of the living room, pulling a decorative brass bell that had found its way into her mouth out with a hollow _'pop!'_. The brunette goddess winced slightly as a thin line of saliva leaked away from the ornament, but forced a smile nonetheless. Miss Hinako looked at her with a curious expression, leaving Belldandy at a loss as to how to proceed. She didn't _feel_ evil, but Hild had brought her; and likely not out of charity given how out of sorts her Ki pathways were. With those thoughts in mind, she proceeded forward tentatively. "How are you doing today-"

"I smell cookies!" Hild's grin widened with Miss Hinako's revelation. Indeed, the smell of cookies had just begun to permeate the air and the grand demoness of hell ruthlessly capitalized on her partner's opening that had left Belldandy blinking.

"So do I!" The white haired girl in leather confirmed with false surprise, looking over to the girl. "Do you think Auntie Bell would let us have some?"

_"Oooh!"_ Ninomiya Hinako oozed with delight at the idea, turning a pair of large brown puppy-dog eyes on the goddess of the present. "Can we _pleeease_ have some cookies?"

"_Pretty please_, Auntie Bell!" Hild followed up and was instantly rewarded by the uncertainty Belldandy's eyes as they flicked back and forth from one faux child to the other. It wasn't the way she would have chosen to torment the Norns, after all, but watching the Goddess before her squirm was a darn good substitute for Hild's normal modus operandi.

"Pretty_-pretty_ please?" The long haired girl continued with such innocence that Belldandy's vigilant resolve began to crumble. "With sprinkles on top?"

There were, in fact, cookies. Those cookies were for when Keichii returned from the motor club. Now, however, Belldandy was faced with a crisis. One supremely evil being- perhaps THE supremely evil being was making syrupy puppy dog eyes at her. Under normal circumstances, Hild could have been safely ignored. It was the inclusion of the other, more innocent girl and her shining eyes that made the Norn's dilemma all the harder, forcing the Goddess of the Present to make a command decision...

...The cookies would have to be sacrificed.

"And what's all the racket out here anyway?" The adult steeping in from the adjacent hallway hollered, then fell silent as her blue eyes flicked from one occupant to the other, noting the new faces. The sandy haired blond was a permanent resident of her household and thus hardly new. She had a pensive look about her normally serene face and was looking at the other white haired girl, who was likewise known, if not welcome. Urd had seen entirely too much of her over the last month to be considered healthy.

_Or sane,_ her subconscious quipped; a thought she readily agreed with on the whole. The mistress of hell had also arrived in her child avatar, which meant that her designs for them were more than likely mischievous in nature if she knew her mother, less out right evil machinations. _Mostly_. It was a small consolation either way, given what she knew of her mother. The other girl was completely unknown however, but read as a normal human according to her divine senses.  
_  
A messed up human_, she amended, probing deeper as she traced the girl's physiology, but eventually ignored her in favor of the greater threat. Her blue eyes narrowed on the tanned child, who smirked back at her. "Honestly, doesn't the _queen of hell _have anything better to do than pester us?"

"Now daughter of mine," Hild tisked, purposely ignoring the sneer placed upon her title by rolling her eyes. "What could I_ possibly_ be doing that would top visiting my favorite daughter?"

The older looking daughter cast a bland look upon the Daimakaichō. "I could think of so _many_ things."

"Now you're just being silly!" The white haired girl giggled, turning her attention from the Goddess of the Present and folding her arms across her chest. "Besides _here_ is _right_ where I want to be."

"I'm sure it is," Urd returned testily, glaring back into a pair of purple eye that held a sinister edge in spite of the playful smile worn by their owner. The primary question in the eldest sister's mind, however, was _why_. The last time her mother had seen fit to hang around the shrine, Keichii had fallen victim to a spell that converted him into an amorous nymphomaniac. Granted, the permanent blush affixed to Bell-chan's cheeks had been quite cute and—The goddess of the past shook off the fond reminiscence, returning to the cause of their consternation. That all led to the Saotome incident, her hearing on high and the constant aggravation that both now represented.

Movement off to her right broke the staring contest, and Urd blinked, watching the girl she had discounted as a threat suddenly break ranks. Even Hild's mischievous smile disappeared in favor of watched the girl suddenly become animated with an _"Oooh!"_

"Hey, where are you going, squirt?" Urd questioned the girl, who was now walking past her into the hallway she herself had just emerged from. The goddess' face scrunched up with irritation. "You know it's considered rude to just up and-Hey! HEY! NOT IN THERE!"

Hild's head cocked curiously and the action shifted her white pigtails to the side. Belldandy looked at her and she looked back, emoting cluelessness until eldest sister's voice increased in volume suddenly.

"What's in here? Look at all the stuff!"

"That's my room! Get BACK HERE!" A slow smile returned to the grand demoness' face as the sounds of unseen commotion began. "Wait! THAT'S DANGEROUS! Hands off! NO!"

"Hild-Sama..." Belldandy's eyes flicked from the white haired girl and her barely stifled giggling to the hall, where the sound of something glassy and delicate hitting the floor sounded; shattering into their individual sonic components. The Goddess of the present cringed, returning to the grand demoness. "The child seems much too hyperactive for-"

"THOSE DON'T MIX!"  
"Look, it's a butterfly! Wheee!"  
"THAT'S NOT A TOY!"  
"Here we gooo! Upside-HEY!"

Moments later the white haired goddess reappeared, all but dragging the brunette child behind her. Displeasure flashed in her eyes, though it was less for the yellow skirted girl and more for the person who had led her to their house to begin with. "This has_ got_ to stop!"

"Stop?" Hild blinked innocently, while Miss Hinako stared grumpily up at the adult who had physically manhandled her. "I'm not sure what it is you're talking about."

_**CRAAaaCK!**_

A bass shock wave reverberated throughout the house, causing Belldandy's eyes to widen as the various pictures hanging from the wall suddenly found themselves slightly askew with the vibration. Urd's smoldering gaze remained riveted to her mother's playful smirk in spite of the domiciles trembling, though the unseen activity did cause her to snort with contempt. "You know dang well what I'm talking about, _mother!_"

_**BoooOOOM!**_

Belldandy's dishes hopped from within the kitchen, inciting several slight clinks whose pitch filtered into the living room as well. As if the sounds from the kitchen were a reminder, Miss Hinako's puppy dog eyes suddenly returned to Belldandy. "When can I have my cookie?"

"Now, now, Miya-chan," The Goddess of the Present attempted to placate the little girl and her apparently insatiable appetite for sweets. "I am saving them for-"

Urd's patience, however, abruptly expired in that moment and she held her mother with a menacing glare. "Stop this idiocy _immediately_!"

"Jeez, it's just a cookie, Urd-chan," the miniaturized Daimakaichō emoted cluelessness, to which the child disciplinarian next to Belldandy agreed with a nod.

"And stop playing innocent!" The goddess accused, pointing past her sister and to the window beyond. "You and the gender jock out there! Stringing him along is bad enough, but now it seems like you're purposely collecting ingrates!"

"But I want a cookie!"

Urd's head pivoted to the right in an almost mechanical motion as a small girl in the modest yellow skirt looked up at the obvious purveyor of household treats. The Goddess' teeth ground down even as the child disciplinarian tugged at the her sister's dress once more. Belldandy was smiling, but the uncertainty of the entire situation was written across her face for anybody who knew her well enough to see.

"_Pleeeeeeease?_"

Belldandy, reinforced smiled kindly at the girl, bending down to her height. "I'm not so sure so many sweets would be healthy for such... um, an _active_ young girl. Maybe some fruit?"

"But they smell _sooooo_ good!" The girl all but drooled as the scent wafted across her nose. "Just one? _Pleeease?_"

The hopeful look she generated was all but guaranteed to melt the heart of the unwary. It was also a pathetically cute sight, one that cut deep into Belldandy's already non-existent resistance to childhood innocence. Her better judgment buckled in seconds. "I guess one won't-"

"And you need to back off, spore!" All eyes swiveled onto the white haired adult. Her child counterpart simply smiled and took a step back as events from inside and outside the kitchen took their toll on her daughter. "I _know_ you're not the child you appear to be and she said 'no'! So take your annoying friend out there and my mother home already!"

Miss Hinako looked shell shocked at first, staring at the furious woman as if she had been physically slapped across the face. The wide eyes persisted for a moment before dropping into one of childhood obstinacy. "You're not a very_ nice _person."

"I'd be nicer if you and your friend weren't so irritating!" Urd fumed while the sound of scraping metal being violently applied to the earth outside punctuated her point. Belldandy winced with the grating noise, but continued to watch the confrontation with growing hesitancy. True, the little girl was quite nosy and had all but overturned every part of their residence with curiosity upon arrival... And yes, her friend- surely Hild-Sama's redheaded acquaintance -was tearing up their courtyard as they spoke, but...

"...Urd-Chan, I would ill advise against-"

"You're such a meanie!" Hinako retorted indignantly, her gaze narrowing sharply. "Delinquents like you need to be taught a lesson in manners!"

The Goddess of the Past crossed her arms across her chest imperviously. "Yeah, well, the innocent act may work on Bell-chan, but it won't buy you anything here."

Forgotten off to the side, the Daimakaichō herself was all but grinning now. At first she hadn't realized why Ranma-chan had allowed the child to tag along. Her ki pathways were screwed up and sure, she wasn't all she seemed, but the exact reason for the girl's presence was lost on her. _Until now_.

Hild wasn't sure what was about to happen, but whatever it was, she was certain that her protégée had_ meant _for it to happen _exactly_ like this. The young grand demoness of hell's smile widened with the realization. She had thought Ranma too naive to be capable of such a work of art, and she was more than happy to watch the redhead's symphony of chaos unfold before her vary eyes.

"You asked for it!" The brunette girl warned, whipping her hand out. In between index and middle finger sat a 5-yen coin. "Prepare to receive your punishment!"

Urd arched an eyebrow, staring sceptically at the coin that rested between the girl's fingers. "What, you're going to bribe me with your—?"

The coin began to glow, stopping her in mid sentence. Urd's eye began to widen with realization. _She's creating a chakra vacuum... But her biology is a mess! Why the heck would she generate a chakra vacuum unless..._

_"Too late, child"_, Hild murmured as she watched the realization dawn on her daughter's face. The technique flared with a near blinding flash of light.

_"Happougoensatsu!"

* * *

_

**S**kuld watched in horror as her creation bounced once, then twice across the temple courtyard, digging a violent ditch from one end to the other that, in turn, sent another cloud of dust and debris into the air until the red and white robotic construct tumbled to a stop. Banpei remained motionless within the trench for a moment and the young goddess was all but ready to run over to its aid when her creation twitched, freeing a seized mechanical limb from the rubble while sporadically twitching. The girl exhaled a pent up sigh of relief as the hatted robot slowly righted itself, dented and dirty but functional.

"I thought you said that piece of junk was tough?" The Goddess of the Future's eyes widened and she whirled upon her tormentor: One supremely annoying redhead that, unlike the prior encounter, appeared no older than nine years old girl. Said irritant sported an arrogant smirk, rocking back and forth on her heels with pent up energy as she turned away from Banpei's crash site and back to the goddess. "Third time's a charm, maybe?"

"Banpei is _not_ a piece of junk, you... _you...!"_ the young goddess blurted as the girls barb found its mark with absolute precision. In the end, only one word came to mind, a descriptive she wouldn't have been able to use two hours earlier. "You SPORE!"

"And here this spore's still kicking your tin can's ass," Ranma shrugged, favoring the teen with patronizing indifference. "'Cides, your lawnmower challenged me first, remember?"

"He was just being protective!" Skuld blurted back indignantly as the robot finally extracted itself from the crater to rejoin its master; albeit with a slight limp. "You and that girl came with Hild-sama, and she's as evil as they come!"

"Said the tomboy," Ranma rolled her eyes, saying all that needed to be said concerning her opinion on the matter. "Speaking of bullies, weren't you the ones tryin' to take me out two ta one last week?"

The Goddess of the Future sputtered her objections to the rhetorical question, only to have the younger girl cut her off. "Save it. Tell ya what... I'll give your trash compactor another chance. If it wins, I leave."

The teen goddess stared at her dubiously, then back to her scuffed-up creation. Skuld turned back to the redhead with a suspicious look. "...And you'll take Hild and the other girl with you?"

"My word as a martial artist." Ranma replied with barely veiled disinterest. The raven haired deity thought on the matter for a moment before nodding fiercely, slapping her left fist into her open hand.

"Fine then! Banpei!" The robot paused in dusting itself off with a feather attachment it had managed to acquire, turning towards its creator with interest. Skuld smiled with confidence. "Mobility Package B!"

Ranma cocked her head as the robot shifted its center of gravity, allowing for parts of its metal plating to fold away. Eight bugle like nozzles slid into position, each protruding at angles odd enough not to be considered weapons by the martial artist's estimation. Stabilization fins grew from more hidden compartments along its back, and soon Ranma wasn't certain if she was looking at a robot or some mad inventor's aircraft with arms and legs bolted on as an afterthought. Curiosity, however, didn't stop Ranma from making a smart ass remark.

"Look, if you're gonna play Gundam, I got better things-"

"Establish an up-link to the Yggdrasil," The goddess continued heedlessly, and this time, a smallish antenna dish sprouted from Banpei's mushroom domed head, unfolding its dish like an iris and making two revolutions before locking onto a fixed point high in the blue sky. "Download martial arts combat program Gamma Five!"

A small disk access light on the side of the robot's bulbous head began to flash, ceasing after thirty seconds. The antenna withdrew invisibly back into its cranium.

The light went dark and Banpei retrieved a long white strip of cloth from a small hatch along his back, pulling it around his head and tying it off like some martial arts master before pulling a wooden sign from the same compartment for the benefit of its master.

***I KNOW KUNG-FU.***

"Do ya, now?" Ranma eyed the construct skeptically, watching as construct discarded the sign and turned its full attention on her. After a moment, she shrugged, replacing the doubtful look with a confident smirk. "Well let's see what you can do with it, then."

Banpei's bow was the last thing she saw clearly as the nozzles suddenly spouted white jets of steam. Joint servos adjusted to the sudden increase of velocity and only a decade's worth of nonstop martial arts mayhem kept Ranma from taking the open palmed strike directly in the chest. The robotic construct was on her in a blur now, and she spun with the stinging, glancing blow to the shoulder; flattening her center of gravity while pivoting back into the offense. The red and white robot's head jerked back just in time to avoid her foot to the face, while its microprocessor was presented with eight counters to the move. Banpei selected the highest probability of success to accomplish its master's stated goal in just under a millisecond, triggering the hydraulics in its arm to shoot up and deflect the improvised roundhouse kick skyward in order to force the girl terminally off balance.

Against anybody else, the maneuver would have worked.

Against Ranma, it almost _did_.

Already forced to dump unwanted inertia in the form of a spin, the redhead suddenly felt another stinging blow along the side of her shin; and her offense was suddenly transformed into something closer to that of a destabilized top. Shock course through the girl's thought process while she fought the momentum, planting her hands solidly to the ground and twisting on them through another revolution before pushing skyward through the roll. She was airborne for less than two seconds and had to deflect another strike from the machine, but it was enough. Ranma used the final attack to stabilize her own ballistics and landed like an expert gymnast; sticking the landing with both feet before springing out of the robots effective combat radius with another flip.

"Go Banpei!" The Goddess of the Future shouted with a wide smile, jumping up and down with pom-poms she had acquired from somewhere unimportant to the martial artist, whose eyes flicked from her to the mechanized construct.

_Damn fast with the rockets_, she catalogued, calling up the brief eight second engagement while her blue eyes traced its structure. _Actually knows martial arts too,_ Ranma scowled mentally with the thought, only managing to keep the emotion from her face while maintaining her trademark smirk like a martial arts technique. Still, the fact that it had not actually _learned_ the art grated against every fiber of her being. The girl had _programmed _the robot, and it was the closest thing to martial arts blasphemy Ranma had encountered to date.  
_  
Battle doji aside,_ the martial artist amended, and let a slightly sharper edge to her smirk develop. In either case, it didn't matter. She was going to enjoy beating this thing and it programming just as much as enjoyed putting the battle doji down for the count.

Ranma's stance loosened once again and she simply pointed at the robot, beckoning for it to come as if it were a small child. The droid's eyes dilated for the briefest moments, before triggering its thrusters to fire again. This time Ranma was ready when Banpei executed its charge, already profiling away from the initial leading punch and deflecting the hydraulics of its arm upward. The arm servos whined against the sudden redirection of force, but more power was applied and the robot recovered from the breach far quicker than the girl expected. The opening disappeared, but Ranma was already attacking from another vector with a snap kick aimed for the bulbous metallic torso. Banpei's tactical scripting immediately analyzed the kick to counter attack with a ninety five percent probability to destabilize the leg's owner, followed by a three punch combination guaranteed to place the target onto the-

The kick withdrew even as the robot moved to intercept it, and Ranma's hand shot out with an equal amount of speed, grabbing the hydraulic forearm, stepping into the construct's guard while attempting to reverse the joint in order to initiate a flip. That was the plan, at least, until Ranma received her first lesson in robot physiology. The redheaded girl forced the joint to its stops, only to be dismayed that it _kept going_. The universal shoulder joint pivoted through the angle and Banpei applied more power to it in the same direction, turning the intended robot flip into one containing the martial artist instead. Blue eyes widened in shock as her feet left the ground and her move to disengage came too late. Ranma was air born a second later and this time Skuld's construct wasn't content to wait for its opponent to recover ground-side. The eight thruster nozzles twitched as the servos controlling them altered their vectors, then gave the command to fire. Banpei was air born and produced and open handed strike guaranteed to terminally compromise the girl's ability to continue the fight.

In reality, it probably should have never left the ground.

The fist was instantly intercepted by the tumbling martial artist, who in turn used it to stabilize her tumble and pivot above the robot's trajectory. Her first pair impacts slammed home against Banpei mushroom shaped head before falling into a pair of two rapid kicks that resounded through the robot's structure with hollow, metallic thuds; leaving a pair of dents to match. Millimeter length Ku-band radar flashed through open air to determine the martial artist's exact location above it, reorienting the thrusters even as more impacts were registered. In that same moment, the airfoils along the robot's back extended slightly and its microprocessor triggered a five second burst, causing Banpei to snap into a high speed roll while extending its spindly titanium alloy leg out to its fullest extension. The intention had been to catch the martial artist in leg's arc like a hook and slingshot her into the ground, though the adjustment of his own jet nozzles had given her more than enough warning.

Ranma Saotome pulled her own legs in to shorten her center of mass, curling around the leg like water. The roll had opened Banpei's guard up again, and the redheaded nine year old girl punished the lapse in the form of an open handed fist that slammed into the robot's torso. Skuld's creation adjusted its vector again and sought out its target with a high speed punch combination that only fueled the Saotome's midair dance further. Banpei's first three punches were deflected outright, but Ranma took the forth, allowing it to clip her shoulder painfully in exchange for its Newtonian sacrifice. No matter what technique the robot employed, the martial artist simply would not fall back to earth, a condition that was unacceptable in light of his master's directive.

Further measures would have to be taken.

Banpei screened his next maneuver with a barrel roll punch-kick combination that failed to significantly inconvenience the air born girl in any way, while likewise receiving another impact to the slopped structure of its head. What the maneuver did achieve, however, was total surprise as the final roll-out brought his left arm directly in line with the nine year old, allowing the palm to unfold into a mini ballistic launcher. Ranma registered the potential threat instantly, but instantly was too late at point blank range and the robots hand exploded even as she kicked out into open air. Five meters out from the robot, Ranma realized her mistake as the smallish orb that had been launched at her nine year old person cracked open, unfolding into a bolo weighted net. The array expanded through the intervening space and the redheads own hasty separation only bought her a second's worth of flight time before the netting found her limbs, entangling them to turn the Saotome's controlled fall into a dead drop.

Ranma would have spared an insult for the dirty trick, but falling was something the martial arts heir was all too familiar with and she had less than three seconds to act before the ground decided their match. Her intellect quickly analyzed the situation, determining the netting to be something stronger than rope, with the ability to contract around its victim like elastic webbing. Techniques and scenarios flashed through her mind's eye before the de-aged martial arts prodigy decided on one, slashing at the netting with the knife edge of her hand from within the confined space, parting the snare along multiple axis as she fell through ten meters of air. Her free limbs flashed out and Ranma executed a half roll that allowed her to hit the ground in a heavy crouch while the remains of the net floated down around her. Banpei landed in front of his wide eyed master a second later, renewing his own stance while Ranma returned to her own height with a smirk; a smirk appearing all the creepier with the thin line of blood trickling from the left side of her mouth.

"Almost had me with that one, tin-can," Ranma ran her right hand through her red main while flexing the arm to loosen it. "But if its special techniques ya want, I got more than plenty-"

_**CRAaCK!**_

The side of the temple wall disappeared in a flash of brilliant blue light as a blur was forcibly ejected from its interior; slicing a line of explosive debris across the courtyard between the stunned Ranma, Skuld and Banpei. All three pairs of wide eyes tracked the rogue missile as it cut a trench through the grass, tumbling another twenty meters to the far wall before finally coming to a halt in its own cloud of dust. Skuld's attention flicked from the dust shrouded victim to the new circular hole carved in the side of her home, noting shadow of a woman with long hair stepping out from the smoldering breach.

_Belldandy!_ Elation formed as her intellect filled in the blanks with the facts available, though Skuld was left wondering just what Hild had done to piss her elder sister off in such a violent manner. _Serves her right either way,_ she decided, and watched as the Goddess of the Present fully stepped out into the light to finish...

Ranma's own grin took up where Skuld's sudden frown left off when the female stepped fully into the afternoon sun, revealing not the long haired blond-brunette goddess as expected, but the fully adult form of Ninomiya Hinako instead. The breeze caught her rich brown hair in its grasp as she cleared the rupture, radiating an air of indifferent arrogance.

"_Behold_, the power of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts Happo no Yen Coin Return," The educator advised haughtily while she took her place on the temple grounds to await her opponent's recovery. "Your days of delinquency are at an end!"

Skuld, goddess second class of the future could only stare as the adult strode past while wondering just exactly where things had gone so horribly wrong. _Mortals aren't supposed to be this strong!_ Her mind screeched, trying to reconcile the logic of what she was watching. Even as a fully grown woman, the resemblance to the girl Ranma and Hild had arrived with was unmistakable, and if Belldandy was still inside...!

"Huh. Normally she's only good for one of those," Ranma commented with mild interest, also staring at the educator while noting the heavy aura of invisible power encompassing the woman. It wasn't the ki she normally drained by any means, which only left one conclusion available to the martial artist. "Wonder how much power she managed to suck outta ol' Urd-chan, anyway?"

Skuld's indignant sputtering began in earnest upon fully realizing what had occurred. "This..! _You...!_ It's all your fault!"

"Mine?" Ranma's nine year old blue eyes blinked innocently back at her for a moment, before the arrogant smirk overtook her face again. "Sure, why not? But the deal still stands."

"YOU STOLE MY MANA!"

All eyes turned back to the billowing cloud of dust that was finally clearing courtesy of the afternoon breeze, to the woman standing at its center- One absolutely pissed goddess of the past, now crackling with electrical energy and a temper gone critical.

Ninomiya Hinako simply stared back with an impassive, but firm expression; one that Ranma had seen for herself many, _many_ times before. It was the face of a disciplinarian, and the redhead couldn't help but to fix her own anticipatory smirk. She turned it back to the robot and its keeper.

"How about it?" She asked the younger goddess, allowing the slightest demeaning edge to creep into the question. The martial artist motioned back to the pair already squaring off. "Double or nothing?"

"You'll walk away if you know what's good for you," Urd warned direly. Her attention was focused fully on the Furikan teacher, though the advisory could have easily applied to both potential combatants. Ranma simply shrugged, glancing back over to Miss Hinako.

"I got nothing but fiancées waitin' for me back in Nerima," The redhead commented easily. "How about you?"

"Homework and tests to grade," The educator replied with distaste, then flipped her long mane of hair back with a shrug and eyed Urd one more. "But there is always time to deal with such rampant delinquency."

"Then let's be about it," Ranma's amused countenance blossomed into a full blown smirk as she mentally released the lock Hild had imposed on her body for their fun. The redheads form hissed with steam as if brought to a boil, allowing her to suddenly grow from the nine year old child's body into that of a sixteen year old teenager. The steam evaporated with the light wind and Ranma tilted her head, working the transformation induced cricks out of her neck. She turned back to the raven haired goddess and her guardian, even as Miss Hinako lethargically brought her hands up to form the Five no Yen Return's initial seal for Urd's benefit.

Mana and ki began to gain density around the property and Belldandy herself stepped out into the daylight, her eyes immedietly falling upon the standoff already in process before her. The situation was obvious, and her brain raced for a way to diffuse the imminent violence. Urd had lost her temper to the child-turned-adult after the nearly unbearable insult of having been stripped of her divine mana, while the redheaded girl from their last altercation faced down Skuld.

The Goddess of the Present paled as she mentally connected the dots. While she was more than willing to believe in coincident and chance, the entire situation seemed too perfectly set up to—

"Oh, now this looks promising," A girl's voice chirped. Belldandy blinked, suddenly reminded of their third and final guest. Her frown found the white haired child who was stepping out of the very hole Urd had been blown through, though her displeasure did little do dissuade the Daimakaichō's cheer. "What do you say, Bell. Want to take odds on the outcome?"

"You engineered this," The goddess accused while a frown began to mar her usually serene features.

"This?" Hild blinked innocently, then folded her arms with satisfaction as she turned back to the standoff. "Actually, _this_ is one masterpiece I can't take credit for."

"And I am to simply take your word for it?" Belldandy's sent a piercing stare down to the girl, who shrugged uncaringly. Lacking any clear avenue of progression, the goddess of the past decided to take matters into her own hands. "Then I shall stop this from proceeding any—"

"_GET HER, BANPEI!"_  
"_HAPPO FIVE NO COIN RETURN!"_  
"_DIVINE LIGHTNING STORM!"_  
"_MOKO TAKABISHA!"_

Blinding light washed across the temple, giving Belldandy only a fraction of a second to drop a barrier field down around the courtyard before property damage commenced in earnest. Banpei's thrusters fired in that very same moment with the intention to bring the girl back into melee range, only to suddenly find himself racing to meet an energy attack head on at high velocity. The construct's CPU made a series of lightning quick calculations and fired the thrusters once more, pivoting its frame fifteen degrees to the right in the final hairs breadth before contact with the glowing blue sphere was achieved.

Ranma watched the Moko Takabisha detonate squarely on target, engulfing Skuld's robot in a violent cloud of rubble as the ki shot's containment ruptured. For whatever else she might have called the robot, the martial artist knew it would take more than that to drop her opponent, nor did Banpei disappoint.

Skuld's guardian burst through the roiling dust cloud in a barely controlled tumble as it fought off a spin with its stabilizers while a hastily deployed- and smoldering -parabolic shield tumbled away from its hydraulic forearm. The thruster nozzles adjusted for their owners' spin with a fractional burst, just before its fist made contact with Ranma's leather bracers; forcing the girl to slide back several feet in turn. Ranma melted out of the cross guard and prepared to renew her assault at point blank when the first mana-fueled shock wave hit.

The other half of the courtyard blistered with incandescent power as Urd's lightning bolt of mana intercepted Miss Hinako's second salvo, meeting at the half way point and warping the very space they intersected. The energies struggled with one another for the briefest instant before annihilating one another and releasing their stored potential in a compressed atmospheric wave front. It roared over the other two combatants and broke against the back of the temple, tearing its structure asunder in a tempest of wood and stone. Though the Goddess of the Past could have easily been considered the more powerful of the pair, Hinako's term at Furikan had been a disciplinarian's dream come true; an experience that served her well when it came to the arena of high energy martial arts firefights. Not that she would ever consider herself a martial artist per se, but the teacher knew martial arts doctrine like the back of her hand and was already ducking left even as her white haired opponent waited for a clear shot through the blast.

Ninomiya Hinako fired from the hip.

Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts weathered another brutal shock wave as she reengaged her own opponent, riding the compressed atmosphere in to breach Banpei's guard by force. The redhead peppered his hull with her fists at amaguriken speeds as she passed in on her strafing run to ensure that wherever her fist fell, the robot felt it. While she wasn't sure where the robot's vital areas were, she was determined to hit enough surface area to find one eventually.

Damage feeds continued to scroll across the periphery of Banpei's awareness as his body vibrated from the various shocks it was being subjected to. The girl blurred by with the shock wave, and while its creator had designed Banpei around a number of contingencies, those contingencies didn't include a martial arts prodigy capable of dealing upwards three hundred blows per second. The robot's arm servos whined with the effort, but the hardware installed was found wanting; blocking or diverting perhaps one in twenty of the hammering blows. Banpei's shell maintained its integrity, however, and the mech whirled around on thrusters before executing a full burn to pursue the girl even as it conducted internal systems bypasses due to battle damage.

The mechanical guardian was on Ranma once more as the shock wave's inertia bled into the background, stalling her slide and allowing Banpei to engage her at high speed. The first punch was easily deflected while the second took all of her left arm to counter. Ranma winced with the high speed impact, but had little time to negotiate a withdraw as a piston driven kick joined the assault. The pigtailed girl hopped out of the strike just before Banpei's robotic talon pulverized the ground, cratering it in a way that reminded her of Ryoga's umbrella.

_Strong as the pig, too_, The teen sniffed as she twisted through another of the robot's combinations before picking the forth punch with which to open its guard. Banpei's shoulder servo whined as she applied the fullest measure of her strength to the fulcrum, stalling its advance while creating just enough of an opening to catch the left side of its bulbous frame with an abbreviated chestnut fist. Ranma managed to slip seventy eight of the punches in before she had to relinquish the arm or take Banpei's round house counterstrike.

_Too slow!_ Ranma grimaced and brought her right arm around to intercept the hit that threatened to blindside her face. The redhead's arm snapped up, but with little in the way of preparation, muscle and bone took the blow in full and she staggered back to keep her balance while attempting to extricate herself from Banpei's new offensive. She spared another block before using Banpei's next thrust against him; literally hopping up and onto his mechanical fist in a nearly impossible feat to use it as a jumping springboard into the air. His optics tracked her ascension and the flip that followed, only to have his pending pursuit abruptly aborted by his target's two glowing hands.

"Moko Takabisha_ DOUBLE!"_

Nor was Ranma the only one taking the high ground. Urd wobbled upon her own patch of razed earth, choking on the dust around her as she recovered her senses after receiving two more hits in rapid succession by Hinako's technique. Another flash of brilliant blue came in from the right and this time Urd had the reactions to deflect the bolt by hand, sending the mana bolt spiraling harmlessly skyward. Recognizing her tactical deficit, the Goddess of the Past bent the local forces of nature to her whim and rose above the field of battle to gain visibility on the educator, who was still probing the cloud of dust Urd herself had just exited.

_Perfect,_ The Goddess of the Past smirked and outstretched her arm, bringing her hand and a glowing lance of angry electricity to bear on the brunette. She held her target for a moment before a frown crossed her face; one that rapidly turned into a snarl. "DAMMIT!"

The outburst instantly alerted Miss Hinako to her opponent's position, and another mana bolt was in the air inbound for Urd's person at high speed. This time, the disgruntled goddess had three dimensions to work in and simply gained altitude, slipping off to the left and out of the way. Urd shook her head as the mandate from her last hearing played through her memory, as well as what might happen if she were to try and fry _another_ mortal.

Miss Hinako, on the other hand, was faced with her own dilemma, and her face crinkled with annoyance. Her opponent had risen to a height of twenty five meters and was now far too mobile to engage conventionally. The teacher glanced left just as two spheres ripped away from Ranma's grasp, burying the girl's opponent in another violent plum of dust and debris. The adult blinked, then smiled; turning her gaze back up at Urd. Normally she didn't have the power to pull off anything more than a single return blast, but whatever it was that she absorbed from this woman, it boiled eagerly inside her for release, release she was about to indulge in further.

"Behold! My new technique, delinquent!" Urd eyed the woman warily as Miss Hinako took aim at her and formed the attack seal once again. "_"HAPPO FIFTEEN NO COIN RETURN!"_

Three bolts of mana appeared within her grasp across a triangular grid, building power and gusting the wind around Miss Hinako for the merest of moments before their simultaneous release skyward. Their kick staggered the brunette momentarily, but she maintained her concentration on her link to the foreign power, guiding the three all the way in to her floating target. Urd's eyes widened as the attack burned through the precious two seconds of flight time to her altitude, jinking left to avoid one, then right to avoid the other with no time left to evade the third's terminal arc. The white haired goddess blocked the mana attack directly by hand, allowing its energy to sizzle across her shielding before dying out. Even though blocking the attack was draining, it wasn't a physical impact and that alone was enough. The shield absorbed the mana in full, and that's when Urd's moment of enlightenment descended upon her. This was _her_ energy. She could literally taste it as it rebounded off the shields.

_Of course its my energy,_ The Goddess of the Past huffed bitterly to herself. _The screwed up mortal down there is a little mana recycling... _Urd's thoughts trailed off, and an odd little smile found its way to her face in spite of the situation; even as the woman below tensed for another attack. The ground flared with her mana released and this time, Urd simply floated stationary in space as another three bolts raced to meet her. The goddess adjusted her shielding and waited. All three found their mark and impacted directly on target...

...Only to waver and evaporate, as if they were candles to be snuffed out by the wind.

Miss Hinako countenance turned to one of sudden alarm, while Urd's grin grew as she considered her opponent down range. She put her hand to her hips with satisfaction. "Now it's time to introduce _you_ to _my_ special technique..."

Ninomiya Hinako backed up a nervous step as the goddess and her grim smile floated closer, sighting her own hand seal on the educator, "...It's called '_gimmie back my mana you little spore_'."

Belldandy winced with the execution of the cumbersomely named technique, watching as it ripped mana away from the Hinako girl wholesale. A lethargic river of blue mist separated itself from the woman and wound its way through the air into Urd's grasp, where it collected until the girl was completely drained. The goddess of the past looked at the ball of energy coalescing within her grasp before closing it within her fist, banishing it back into her own reserves.

Hinako blinked without comprehension several timed before her face took on a perturbed look. A five yen coin flicked back into her grasp and was sighted on her adversary. "_Happougo_-!"

"Sleep," Urd interrupted forcefully, and Ninomiya Hinako simply dropped to the ground upon which she stood, as if every bone had been plucked from her body. A small line of drool began to form at the edge of her mouth as the still adult teacher snored softly.

"Well, that's one way to end a fight," Hild shrugged, somewhat disappointed to see the end of one fight so quickly and thus turned to the other still in progress.

"Stop this before Saotome loses control, Hild-Sama," Belldandy warned deriously, drawing upoin her own power as the redhead's fight with Banpei continued to escalate. She turned to the ruler of hell and leveled her gaze upon the white haired child. "If you do not, I will be forced to intervene."

"Loses control?" Hild stared at the Goddess with an almost bewildered look before turning amused. Beyond, the sky exploded with pyrotechnics as Ranma twisted around a salvo of mini-missiles looking to make her intimate acquaintance. The local airspace crackled around the redhead as she diverted one missile after another, dodged a third and used a forth as a stepping stone to further height before it too detonated.

Another weapons blister along Banpei's back snapped open, and five more missiles were released into the air along tongues of fire, immediately locking on to the teen's body heat and arcing toward her. The lead missile caught the martial artist first and she gave it a good kick along the side of its frame while falling to back to Earth, gaining enough distance between her and its detonation to weather the concussion and intercept the next two missile inbound for her person. The immolation of the first missile caused the immediate deaths of the second and third prematurely, obscuring the girl and her parcel of sky with yet more fiery debris.

Skuld almost felt sorry for her as the remaining two rockets arrowed into the billowing black cauldron unhindered. Of course, there was no doubt that the annoying redhead could take the punishment in her mind. The only question remained as to how much Banpei would have to dish out before- Her thoughts derailed completely less than a second later as the two mini missiles that had just rocketed _into_ the cloud now blazed _out_ in the opposite direct- Exactly one hundred and eighty degrees in the opposite direction and back down toward their launcher.

_"BANPEI!" _

The robot felt rather than heard its master's alarm and was already on the move, but there wasn't nearly enough flight time left on the missiles to matter. The first slammed into the earth five meters to the right of the mech, exploding and peppering the white and red robot's hull with fragmentation damage while the other traced in milliseconds behind it, embedding itself into the ground right at his feet, where it too cooked off. Banpei wheeled across the landscape violently as it took the detonation in full; damage indicators filling its AI consciousness while it bounced across the landscape. Ranma burst from her own blacked patch of sky, her fall following the skidding robot through its barely controlled tumble. The teen martial artist was upon it faster than it could assemble any sort of guard, and she slipped in even as it rolled to a stop, a single index finger extending into its torso.

The action took place within the space of seconds, but for Skuld and her preternatural abilities, time had slowed to an excruciating crawl while her intellect caught up to just what she was witnessing and the significance it held.

Ranma's finger was fully extended now, concentrating into an invisible spike of life energy. She seemingly floated in midair through the terminal phase of her attack, while nearly insubstantial tendrils of ki arced from her fingertips and through the intervening space. It took a moment for their meaning to click for Skuld. They were arcing. Connecting. _Into Banpei..._ Strengthening as she fell upon him in that singular infinite moment. The martial artist had yet to physically touch him, but the thin lines of Ki energy meant something, and the Skuld's engineering thought process attempted to dissect their significance. They would intersect with Banpei's main torso plate. _Something about where her finger would impact..._

The Goddess' eyes widened in horror as the moment collapsed and time began to resume. Ranma's finger; a singular point of highly focused life force. Banpei's metal chest-plate; the point of impact along along a fault line of inanimate metal. Panic surged through the black haired deity as she suddenly realized there could only be one outcome to the girl's touch.  
**  
**_**"NOOO!"**_

Belldandy surged forward with her scream, only to find her wrist suddenly caught up in the nine year old Hild's grasp. The brunette's head whipped around to the girl restraining her, only to find her shaking her head with an amused, but sober expression on her face. The goddess of the present powered up, mana flaring. "Hild-sama, I demand you-!"

She stared at Hild before turning back to the scene, finding that all movement had ceased; both combatants frozen like the still from a picture. Ranma's frame was fully extended, the lines of her sixteen year old body absolutely perfectly aligned with the fingertip that pointed into Banpei's chest; less than a centimeter's worth of space separating it from the robot's hull. Banpei himself had been forced into a trench of his own making, braced for an attack that would never come. Belldandy watched as the teen recovered from her mock strike, wiping the sweat from her brow with a grin. Belldandy blinked, turning back to the girl who had since released her wrist.

"No, Bell-Chan," The childish expression left Hild's face, draining away to reveal the elder within. "Even as the heavens watch Ranma's world fall apart around her, the one thing she remains in absolute, uncompromising control of, is her art."

Belldandy simply stared in disbelief at the Mistress of Hell itself for a moment before her train of through re-boarded. "Be that as it may, these games must end, Hild-Sama."

"Games?"

The goddess adopted a neutral expression for the innocent looking girl, glancing back over at the redhead for a moment, who was now talking to a nearly sobbing Skuld. She turned back to the white haired child in front of her. "The general consensus from above is that you are toying with her for your own amusement. It cannot continue, nor shall we allow it."

"Toying, hmmm?" The girls face sparkled with conspiracy as she leaned into Belldandy's space with a whisper. "Like how you toy with the Morisato boy?"

The brunette's eyes widened as her breath caught up in her throat. The expression lasted mere moments before turning downright indignant. "I am not _toying_ with Keiichi."

"Is that right?" Hild asked doubtfully, persisting in her impish smile. "Then you must have told him about what will ultimately happen when he-"

"Keiichi is not ready for that discussion yet!" Belldandy hissed back defensively, keeping her voice purposely low now. "Perhaps when he understands the ramifications of the wish..."

"Oh, I can help you with that," The girl rocked back and forth on her heels eagerly. "Maybe I can talk to Kei-Chan for you-"

"You are no longer welcome here, Hild-Sama," Belldandy stiffened, her gaze hardening. "Please collect your associates and depart the premises."

"Suit yourself," The Daimakaichō shrugged as the redhead meandered on over to their position with a shapely brunette draped across her shoulders like a sack of rice. Hild released her own child avatar, allowing its form to gush steam as it reverted back to a leather clad adult while smiling at the martial artist and her cargo. "Ready to go, Ranma-chan?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Ranma nodded amiably, then jabbed a finger back at Skuld. Hild found the goddess of the future still in the courtyard, hooking up some form of exotic hand held hardware into Banpei. "I could probably go a few more rounds, but Hinako's out of it and I don't think Skuld's martial arts vending machine would hold up."

The grand demoness simply sniffed with amusement, and began to cut through the courtyard through the front gate, the redhead following with her cargo. She snapped her fingers and shattered Belldandy's barrier field outright, causing Ranma to blink with slight amazement as the property damage they had wrought over the last twenty minutes was instantly erased from the world. "Then we'll be going. Ja-ne, daughter of mine!"

"Yeah," Ranma commented even as Urd floated down beside her sister with a scowl on her face. "And tell the kid I'll be expectin' more of a challenge next time."

Urd's left cheek twitched with the parting shot. A shiver crawled its way up Belldandy's as the redheaded mortal walked entirely too much at ease with what could only be considered ultimate evil manifest...

...and there didn't appear to be a damn thing they could to convince her otherwise.

* * *

**I**t was a nice day outside. Kids played outside on the field below, fluffy white clouds pursued a carefree existence along an infinite blue skyline, and tiny sparrows chattered at one another; chasing and being chased among the tree branches. By all accounts it was an idyllic day to be doing, well, just about anything in... Except being trapped within the bowels of Furikan High learning English on a Thursday.

_"...is an example of classic American literature. Now repeat after me!"_

Ranma's head lulled with thinly veiled boredom as his home room teacher's voice droned on, prompting a glance past the other students in his row to the back window; staring out longingly out into the perfect day beyond. English, he knew. Write? Okay, not so well, but he had picked the language up like how he had learned to unknowingly 'pick-up' goods from an unsuspecting food stand merchant at the tender age of five years old... and then picked up how to run from an angry mob shortly thereafter.  
_  
The old man's trip was just full of life lessons_, Ranma thought to himself with a mental roll of the eyes, though he had to admit that not all of them were absolutely horrible. _Just most of em',_ the pigtailed boy concluded with a rueful chuckle. It was quite literally impossible for him to count the number of idiotic, asinine ideas the fat panda had concocted over the years. Late one night six months back Ranma had, in fact, tried to do just that. Like counting sheep, however, the martial artist found himself fast asleep fifteen minutes later before reaching moronic idea #176.

Ranma's bored eyes glanced at the clock hanging by the doorway, noting its face with some measure of relief. _Just have to hold out for ten more minutes,_ he thought as the second hand ticked clockwise at an excruciatingly slow pace. Ten more minutes before he could make his escape from English purgatory. _Ten more minutes until fiancée hell_, he scoffed with the counterpoint. It would take at least a half an hour to lose them all, then another twenty minutes on the train to-

A piece of paper tumbled lightly onto his desk.

The martial artist stared at the haphazardly folded note, then traced its ballistic arc down two desks where Daisuke glanced back at him expectantly. Ranma stared back without comprehension until his classmate began to make discrete gestures to open the note. Ranma sighed while his brain tried to predict just what was so important as to actually write him a note. He never got notes... Especially not in _this_ class. He turned back to the note and began unfolding it with the same care it had been assembled, reading the contents.

_"Why hasn't she transformed back yet? Been like that all day._"

He blinked as his brain processed the words, then turned back to Daisuke, who in turned held him with a questioning look._ Figures,_ the pigtail boy grumbled and sent an uncaring shrug back in his direction to indicate that he didn't know and didn't care.

Neither were exactly the truth.

In spite of their mutual history, there was a small bubble of concern nagging at the edge of Ranma's consciousness concerning his home room teacher, who had declined to transform back into a small nine year old girl for the entire day. In fact, he knew that when he had dropped the unconscious Miss Hinako off at her apartment yesterday afternoon, she had been an adult then, too. _Didn't transform back after getting sucked dry by ol' Urd,_ the martial artist recalled, returning his attention to the home room teacher in the here and now. _Don't think she's drained anybody all day, either..._

No sooner had he finished the thought then another piece of paper skittered across his desk. This time Ranma didn't even bother to trace the source and unfurled it. _"Did you finally beat her with that sexy move of yours?"_

The pigtail boy nearly choked on his own tongue, and quickly shoved the note under his book to accompany the other one, his face blushing slightly with the reminiscence of that particular battle. The paper disappeared from sight, only to replaced with another. Ranma's hand arrested its slide, preventing the folded piece of 8x11 from overshooting the edge of his workspace. This particular note was folded intricately and with more care, indicating a female sender this time. The fact that it was pink may have helped to clue him in on the fact as well. The revelation also prompted a quick glance over at his part-time fiancée, who was staring at him and the note with curiosity, dashing any hopes that its receipt had gone unnoticed. Ranma quickly looked away, returning his attention to the note and began to pick it open with all the care one would put into handling a live nuclear weapon. Eight folds later, a nervous tick found its way to Ranma's left cheek.

_"Are you cheating on Akane and having a torrid love affair with Miss Hinako?"_

The note instantly imploded within his fist. With any luck, he could ensure its demise before being forced to relinquish it to-

"Saotome!" The throaty demand of Miss Hinako instantly jarred him from his covert plans, and he snapped his head up to find his fully adult home room teacher staring at him, her eyes glittering with the promise of punishment. "What have I said about passing notes in class?"

"Um, I didn't-"

"Then what are these, _hmmmm?_" The shapely educator stepped up to Ranma's desk and slid his book aside, revealing the incriminating evidence beneath. Miss Hinako leaned in slightly, affording the classroom an unobstructed view of her charms as the interrogation continued. Ranma gulped. The other males of the classroom appreciated his sacrifice even as they left the martial artist to hang. Miss Hinako picked up one of the notes and scowled, passing judgment in atone that brooked no argument. "_Detention_, Saotome."

The chime of the school bell marked her decision, and the rest of the class all too eagerly made a break for the door even as she whirled back upon them. "I expect a summary of the first chapter, as well a breakdown of the cultural significance for class tomorrow! Dismissed!"

Akane hung back as the class room emptied with a look of slight concern on her face; concern that evaporated the moment Ranma noticed it. She rolled her eyes for his benefit, as if the juvenile behavior and subsequent detention were not only expected, but beneath her notice. The youngest Tendo was gone through the door moments later and Hinako behind her, closing the classroom and sealing him within. She turned back to the slumping martial artist with a malevolent look and crossed the classroom back to her desk, seating herself while arranging the day's paperwork before her. Silence pervaded their company for another five minutes before Ranma took a stab at salvaging the situation.

"Look, about the notes... people were just throwin' em at-"

Miss Ninomiya Hinako looked up with a thoroughly bored look, interrupting him. "The notes don't concern me, Ranma."

The pigtailed teen blinked. "They don't?"

The brunette shook her head and stood up, making her way around the desk to lean on it from the front nonchalantly, while Ranma's sense of self preservation continued to scream the need to evacuate. She hopped back in a motion vaguely reminiscent of a child, sitting on the edge and crossing her long legs; reminding the marital artist that this was not some nine year old girl before him. Clad in her tradmark short yellow skirt, there was no doubt that Miss Hinako was _very much_ a woman at the moment.

"No," She continued nonchalantly, shrugging indifference. "I'll deal with them later."

The Saotome mentally winced, knowing there would likely be a severe deficit of ki in their future. _At least for the guys,_ Ranma revised, but couldn't bring himself to feeling too sorry for them after being thrown under the Hinako bus less than five minutes ago. That thought brought him unexpectedly short, and he cocked his head curiously at the woman waiting before him. _But can you? _He realized, connecting several related mental dots._ How ya gonna drain them if ya can't change back?_

"Ah, about your body..." He began tepidly, trailing off as he realized uncertainly how to proceed.

Spoken to any other woman in Ranma's acquaintance, that particular statement could have easily been seen as grounds for a pounding or holy matrimony... or both. This particular one, however, had no vested interest in either and simply nodded. "I was hoping you might have an answer to that."

With his required presence in the classroom suddenly clear, the martial artist stepped back from the brink of fiancée DEFCON one and simply shook his head. "You're guess is as good as mine. Probably a side affect of draining ol' Urd's mana, but I'm really just guessin'."

"Mana?" Miss Hinako quirked an eyebrow, and Ranma simply shrugged.

"That's what Hild-san calls it," The teen remarked. "I was callin' it heavy ki at first."

The educator simply nodded, contemplating the theory for herself before moving on. "Hild-san... The white-haired girl."

"Yep," Ranma nodded and the edge of a smile found his face. "Not that she usually looks like that. Only goes out like that for fun."

"For fun?" The woman cocked her head curiously. "She changes? Like me? And... you too?"

Ranma simply smirked at the torrent of questions. "Not exactly 'me too'. More like only with her help. Hild-san's great company, let me tell ya."

"You don't say," Miss Hinako murmured while not only fighting through her own ration of disbelief, but the near shock of actually seeing what could only be termed delight sparkling in the pig tailed boy's eyes. The educator blinked, as if to dispel the illusion, thought the action only served to confirm it. In the year and a half she had been exposed to the boy, he had only shown her three emotions... indifference, determination and aloof arrogance. Maybe four if one counted the nervousness invoked by the women constantly in his company, but there seemed to be little to the Saotome beyond that.

In short, he existed from within an emotional shell

After four schools and six years of teaching, She had seen enough students in her career to know what to look for, and Ranma exibited everything she had come to expect from an emotionally isolated child, even if he hid it exceptionally well. The fact that she had practical experience in the condition herself wasn't a fact she was willing to admit to, but the emotion that now sparkled in his blue eyes was different... _Magnetic_, even.

_And their idea of 'fun' is just like mine...  
_  
"I'm... Not certain I am willing to part with that form yet," She admitted hesitantly, taking a risk that she had taken with few others. There had been too many hospitals in her childhood. Too many doctors and not enough… "Do you think your... _Hild-san_ could help with that?"

Ranma stared; somewhat surprised that he was seeing something beyond the composed adult facade she normally wore. Before, there had been a clear line of separation between personas. Now, he wasn't so sure, and for a moment, the martial artist was unsure how to proceed. Instead of over thinking the situation, Ranma fell back on his martial arts doctrine and crooked a smile for the suddenly fragile looking woman. "Nah, Hild-san ain't gonna mind. The more the merrier."

"Thank you, Saotome," Miss Hinako brushed a lock of hair back as the traces of a grateful smile began to replace her timid exterior. "And perhaps I wouldn't mind more fun... with you and your friend."

"Yeah, no worries," Ranma shrugged it off in an attempt to avoid being the object of praise from the very person who was liable to rip the ki from his body. "Now if you wanna really want to thank me, you'll let me outta here so I can make my appointment."

"Appointment?" The woman finally stood off from the desk, walking to the door to open. Ranma followed, taking the silent invitation in kind.

"Yeah, don't tell nobody, but I'm teachin' myself." The doubtful look Miss Hinako sent back at him prompted his instant protest. "Hey, I can teach too, you know!"

"Martial arts?"

"Martial arts," Ranma confirmed with a grin, to which the beautiful teacher only rolled her eyes, opening the door.

"Then I'll ask you to keep my reputation as a harsh disciplinarian intact, should anybody ask," She added as Ranma bounced out the door. With that and a nod, he was gone down the hallway, leaving her to stand in the classroom door alone.

But not quite as alone as before.

* * *

**Authors Notes:**  
We'll, I'm slowly getting a handle on normal life once again. Thanks to everybody who offered well wishes for my father. He's doing better and starting to try his hand at walking again. As to this particular fic, fight scenes tend to slow me down a bit, so it was that and real life crap I was pushing through. Thanks for sticking with my worse than normal writing schedule.

**Hinako vs Mana vs Urd** – _Suck, suck, suck, suck! Spaceballs reference aside, Hinako is a one trick pony for the most part and I readily admit taking liberties with her technique to even have her stand toe to toe with Urd for even five minutes. This was ultimately an unwinnable battle for her, and was scripted as such._

**Saffron, the Readers Digest Version** _– If you're questioning why this was a driveby, there are two reasons. First, there were no changes to the fight and the most I wanted to do was illustrate Hild's influence on Ranma's thought process. Second, the entire theme of this particular fic is Hild's influence on canon events, not a rewrite canon itself. You'll (hopefully) notice that even though canon was progressing throughout this entire fic, I've specifically avoided retelling Ranma.5 from the manga viewpoint. My general policy is that if you, the reader, has to live through another retelling of canon, I had better address parts of it in ways you wouldn't wholesale scroll past like a fail plot dump of canon._

_Since I couldn't do that with Saffron's scene, I decided to keep it as brief as possible._

**Special Thanks**_ – Jeez, you people know who you are, already. Thanks a bunch, guys and gals.  
_


	9. Chapter 9, Part 1

**Hell is a Martial Artist**  
Chapter 9, Part 1_  
By Ozzallos  
_

_"But this isn't fair!"  
"Gonna have to do better than that!"_

**M**otivation.

For some people, it comes naturally. Ranma Saotome was one such individual when it came to anything that was deemed worth the effort, and those efforts were usually focused on martial arts. His father was largely to thank for that mindset, instilling within his offspring a slavish work ethic from the age of four using methods and techniques that would be considered war crimes in various countries. While some would likely consider such single minded devotion to be a self limiting waste of potential in an age where martial artists were by and large unappreciated outside of certain social strata, Ranma's pursuits had ironically led the otherwise socially inept teen down some of the more obscure back of the art in spite of his father's attempt to live vicariously through- and off -his son.

Motivation was therefore easy to come by, if only because the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu heir existed in a self perpetuating cycle to be the best, which invariably led him from one improbable situation to another. These, in turn, were mastered, ensuring that Ranma could converse on the most eclectic and seemingly divergent topics; including anything from fine dining etiquette to sewing ryu...

...Something Ranma would enthusiastically deny if ever asked.

Usagi Tsukino, on the other hand, had exactly the opposite problem. Though fated as the reincarnated princess of an empire long forgotten, the blond had little ambition of her own beyond those of any other normal teen her age. She was, in essence the quintessential teenager burdened with a role she had not asked for and suffered from the apathy of being carried along by the currents of destiny- as opposed to forcefully paddling her way to the nebulous goal known as Crystal Tokyo. Motivation was involuntarily heaped upon the blond with every step she took, and were she a more bitter soul, might have resented her lot and life.

That motivation usually consisted of life force devouring youma, demon possessed thralls and high powered magical fire fights which were otherwise the bane of her social life. Usagi's true mettle was usually held in reserve for only the most dire of situations, which in turned posed a problem for those looking to motivate her in other areas. Such areas included school... Exercise...

_"You said I could have that one!"  
"Nuh-uh, too slow!"_

...and, of course, Martial Arts.

Usagi lunged forward with a speed that impressed her audience, thrusting her hand toward the prize. For a girl generally considered to be clumsy and mired in sloth, the effort she put forth was respectable, but nowhere near fast enough to claim her prize. Ranma's hand snatched back at the very last moment to deny the girl her pink, sugary objective. A scowl replaced the brief flash of hope the blonde's face had emoted and the cupcake reappeared within the martial artist's grasp once more, up slightly and half a meter to the right. Usagi's crystal blue eyes focused once more on the treat and she committed to her attack.

It was an absolute stroke of genius in Ranma's less than humble opinion.

Another grab yielded the same result as the last, and the martial artist took a quick step back while the girl redoubled her efforts; grasping at the newly positioned cupcake that by pure coincidence just happened to be positioned in front of her instructor's carotid artery before the pastry disappeared, leaving Usagi grabbing at empty space. Ranma repositioned Usagi's sugary target mid body, and she snatched greedily for the cupcake once again. It was, by pure happen-stance, positioned just in front of the twelfth floating rib on the right side of his body. Like the previous dozen or so grabs, this one failed by millimeters, and the toll of exertion was beginning to creep down the girl's forehead in the form of a sweaty sheen. The future queen of Crystal Tokyo made one final attempt at the repositioned cupcake before her wrist was caught mid strike, jarring Usagi's focus.

She blinked, refocusing on Ranma and the easy smile he wore. The girl blinked once more as she realize their practice had just ended, then looked at the cupcake in her sensei's hands longingly even as he released hers. The longing quickly turned into a pout. "It's not fair."

"Probably not," Ranma commented easily, tossing the cupcake into the air and catching it. Usagi's gaze tracked it through its entire arc with almost zombie like focus. "But if you want it, you're gonna have to build your speed and endurance."

"But you're too fast!" The blond balked, wiping the sweat from her brow using the left sleeve of her pastel blue sweat suit she had worn for these specific practice sessions. Of course it was functional, but she wanted to look good for her audience. Makoto and Rei off to the side, she could have cared less about. _Mamoru-Kun_, on the other hand... She glanced at him as he lounged on the park bench and he noticed her attentions, flashing her a quick smile. She smiled back warmly, but returned her focus to her current source of irritation and torture. "Besides, I can't get as good as you!"

"Ah, too bad," The Saotome shrugged, completely indifferent to the girl's apathy. Hild-San had asked this girl to be his special project, and the girl would have to do better than puppy-dog eyes to elicit any sympathy from him what-so-ever._ Besides,_ he chortled silently, _used 'em too many times myself_. Ranma produced an exaggerated sigh for his student. "Guess I won't be needing this then."

Ranma casually tossed the cupcake off to the side, where gravity quickly exerted itself on the meager frosting covered mass. Time instantly slowed for Usagi, who watched in horror as the dessert fell to the ground at an excruciating pace. Four weeks of muscle memory and kata ad nauseum chained together like lightning in that moment, and her hand shot out. When time had resumed a moment later, the cupcake was in hand less than twenty centimeters from the park's well manicured lawn. Once confirmed safe, Crystal Tokyo's heir apparent relaxed.

"Whew."

She looked up from the pink frosting and sprinkles to find Ranma grinning down at her, causing her to wonder self consciously. "Um... uh, something wrong?"

"Only that's the fastest we've ever seen you move, meatball head," A black haired girl commented, walking up to the pair now that the hostilities seemed to have ended. The comment lacked most of teasing she normally employed, and Rei cocked her head in afterthought. "...Even if it's still just for food."

"Don't be mean, Rei!" Usagi balked, only to have the black haired girl stick her tongue out back at her.

Makoto stared as well, though not for quite the same reason. Unlike her sister in arms, the Senshi of Jupiter had her own foundation in martial arts and she saw quite clearly what Usagi's new sensei was doing through their games of cupcake keep away. Of course, there were the speed drills, and it was obvious that Usagi had gotten marginally faster over the last few weeks when pitted against losing her a favorite treat. The brunette's critical eye, however, saw _where_ the cupcake had been held... _Weak points, _she noted, still unsure on whether to applaud Usagi's teacher on ingenuity or shiver at what kind of thought process it took to use a sugary treat in order to train their fearless leader to unwittingly strike vital organs and fragile bone structure.

"Say, you like ice cream, right?"

The out of the blue question derailed Makoto's analysis and all three pairs of eyes turned on the martial artist. Usagi answered all too quickly. "Oh yes, definitely."

A pit began to develop in the brunette's stomach, and she found Rei glancing over to her with similar wariness writ across her face. Both turned back to Ranma as he continued the seemingly innocent line of questioning. "What flavor?"

"Pistachio nut," A masculine voice answered for the girl idly, and Usagi's head bobbed in agreement with her fiancé's assessment. Mamoru sidled alongside the blond, wrapping an arm around her hip. "She'll run through glass barefoot for a scoop."

Off to the side, Rei and Makoto were violently shaking their heads 'NO'. Usagi stared back at them without comprehension before a chuckle drew her attention back to the martial artist while her friends looked at him as if were some dark general. "That aside, you're doing so well I'll be sure to bring some next time."

The blonde's eyes lit up with the promise, while Rei and Makoto simply slumped in defeat. Usagi stared at her best friends again, completely missing their consternation. "Seriously, what?"

Makoto opened her mouth, then closed it as Ranma smirked back at them. In the end, she could only shake her head and sigh while Rei rolled her eyes. "If you don't know what by now, odango brains, I'm not sure telling you will help any."

"Whatever," The princess huffed, then stuck her tongue back out at Rei without a clue as to what she could possibly be upset about. Sure the training was a pain and the teasing with the treats was just borderline mean, but she knew Ranma was a nice guy and rewarding her with ice cream all but proved it.

"Speakin' of which," Ranma continued, this time addressing Mamoru directly in a slightly more serious tone. The teen looked at him curiously as Ranma motioned back to Usagi. "Sooner or later we're gonna be startin' hand to hand training. It's gonna be physical. Think you'll have a problem with that?"

"Me?" Usagi's fiancé looked at the black haired teen with confusion. "I'm sure you'll find Usagi surprisingly.._. durable_, but why ask me?"

"That's one way to put it," Rei mumbled softly.

"I heard that!" Usagi squawked, turning back to the source of the missive. The part time shrine priestess was busy looking up into the sky as if she had no idea what her friend was talk about.

"Just so there ain't any.. _misunderstandings_," Ranma picked his words carefully, ignoring the squabbling girls while explaining his position to Mamoru. "Ya seem like a decent guy and you might say I've had some experience in the matter. Just lettin' you know it won't all be dodging and katas."

"Ah," The taller boy nodded, receiving the message as intended. "I'm sure everything will be just fine. On that note, when will we be seeing you and your fiancée?"

The bickering from the other two girls stopped abruptly and the martial artist once more found himself at the center of attention. "Ah... She's been, ah... busy. School and stuff."

_Stuff like jumpin' to the wrong conclusion about all sorts of crap,_ Ranma grumbled mentally, now in no way eager to have something this important screwed by another bout of misunderstanding. His minds eye cringed at just such a meeting, prompting one of his first memories of Akane Tendo, her 'little match' and the wall she had destroyed less than a minute later upon losing her temper. And to expose his new student to that? _Not a goddamn chance_, the pigtailed boy firmed his resolve and forced a smile for the group that was intently awaiting more detail.

"I'll, uh... Try and pry her away from her studies," He finished lamely. _When hell freezes over_, the back of his mind echoed as his audience nodded their understanding.

"Sounds like Ami-Chan," Rei tisked. "All work and no play."

_If only_, Ranma winced as the guilt from sandbagging Akane reared its head. Sure, she was cute and held a special place in his heart, but... but there was past experience to consider. The chances of things going horribly wrong were exponentially greater than them actually going right; chances he couldn't afford to take until-

"Maybe we can come by your place then!" Usagi piped and Ranma desperately fought to keep the cringe from wracking his face.

"Uh, yeah, maybe!" The martial artist improvised hastily. "I'll run it by her. Oh, look at the time!"

It didn't matter that Ranma owned neither a watch, nor was there any sort of timepiece within his line of sight at the center of the park. Practice was over and the only time he was certain about was that it was time for a strategic withdrawal from the conversation. Usagi's fiancée idly looked at his watch, even as Ranma began to wrap their meeting up. "Same time Saturday. Gotta get going!"

With that final wave, Ranma was gone down the park's central path back onto the city streets, leaving the three girls and one guy watching after him with slight curiosity before dismissing his behavior as haste. Three hundred meters away and out of sight, Ranma slowed down his pace while breathing a sigh of relief. _Too damn close,_ he decided, reviewing the last ten minutes mentally while guilt continued to needle at him.

"Ah, whatever," He mumbled, shoving the dilemma to the back of his mind like he had done so many times in the past. Too many times in the past, if he was to be honest with himself, but today wasn't the day to confront that particular issue. Things had been relatively quiet since returning from China and he wasn't about to rock the boat by introducing yet more girls to the crew back in Nerima. _Another shit storm waiting to happen_, he decided and deemed his current course to be the right one, at least for now.

_At least until I can get Miss Pistachio Nut up to par_, Ranma smirked, wondering if the girl had any idea what next week's training was going to entail. _Fence walking 101_, he chortled, amused at the idea of leading the girl along the top of fence with a melting cone of ice cream in hand. The martial artist paused with the thought. _In fact, that sounds pretty damn good right now..._

The salivating of his mind's eye also processed the barely conscious shift into his female aspect; also coincidentally the aspect that the ice-cream would be all the more appreciated by. Ranma's male body became a trick of the light, causing a passing pedestrian to scrub his eyes out as the martial artist's body melted in upon itself and filled out in other areas, producing a shapely redheaded female whose gait automatically adjusted to her new feminine body. Inclusive to that gait was a subtle sway of the hips that had been drilled into her movements, that in turn began to draw the eye of those that hadn't seen her transform in the first place. She dodged left at the next intersection while a delicate hand floated up to the first clasp of her red silk shirt, releasing it to afford her assets a better view of the world.

The world, in turn, appreciated her consideration as she smiled pleasantly back at it. Ranma crossed the street at the next cross-walk and angled for the only ice cream shop she knew in the area... The Crown Arcade, whose automatic doors slid open to reveal the din of arcade games and vocal chatter within. It was a situation the girl was quite used to and she waited until the attendant behind the layered glass display of multi-colored ice creams happened to make eye contact with the new arrival.

The part time redhead smiled back, inserting a fractional amount of flirtatious heat into her gaze before commencing her attack run.

Before Ranma had even closed within a meter of the counter, the outcome was already a foregone conclusion. The teen- undoubtedly some part time help of some sort -found himself wallowing under her crystal blue gaze as she smiled at him, then turned her attention to the cartons of flavored cream beyond the glass, as if to mull over her decision. She tilted her head up at the attendant and aligned her body in a manner that afforded him a clear line of sight down her silk shirt while making it abundantly clear this particular customer felt that a bra was quite optional.

"What would _you_ recommend?"

For the teen in question, the open ended inquiry left far too many suggestive responses to reply with, and even if he were able to decide on simply one, his mouth had gone dry since his eyes were currently cemented to the inky void of her unbutton collar and the generous amount of cleavage that disappeared within. The girl bobbed up to something closer to his height, causing her charms to wobble in a delightful manner.

"I... I... uh..." Ranma struggled not to produce the feral grin cast across her psyche as the teen stumbled for words. Her control over him was absolute, which had been the intended goal from the moment she had considered treating herself to ice cream on the street. Sure, it had been painfully easy, but it induced nearly the same effect on her ego that the mastery of her martial arts produced. It was nearly_ intoxicating._ "I... maybe we should... I mean _you._.."

"Can I have a sample of_ that_ one?" She let his stumbling continue for another few moments before retaking control of the encounter. The flavor in question strawberry and it took several moments for the attendant to recover his wits enough to flash an eager smile. The display box was thrown open and a 'sample' was acquired: A full cone with a generous two scoops of creamy pink goodness, speckled with bits of strawberry interspersed therein. He all too happily handed her the cone, as if it were a sacred relic. Ranma's eyes widened with avarice, but she didn't neglect her benefactor and favored him with a clueless look. "Oh _my_... How much will this cost me?"

"On the house," The teen smiled proudly and the girl across the counter readied her final salvo.

"In that case,_ thank you._" She then put the cone to her lips and took a long, gentle lick with her tongue. By the time it had transverse from the side of the bottom scoop to the top of the second, a thin crimson line of blood had seeped from his nose. Ranma smirked from within her thoughts and began a mental countdown. _Three, two, one..._

_THUNK._

All eyes turned to the counter with the sound, only to find just the redhead; the counter attendant having mysteriously vacated his post. The clueless blinking returned and she shrugged, turning for the exit. Of course, the last part had been completely unnecessary, but it also probably represented her last bit of fun before she returned to Nerima, so- The exit swished open moments before she came into its proximity, admitting three chattering girls: Blond, brunette and black haired respectively. Ranma was caught flat footed upon seeing the three girls she had just left, and their conversation drifted to ear even as they walked by her completely bereft of recognition.

"...hope he remembers to go back for them."  
"Think it will cause him too much trouble?"  
"...wouldn't worry. Mamoru will wait for a few more minutes to see..."

Ranma almost asked them outright what they were talking about when realization suddenly hit her... _Dammit, _Ranma fumed and stepped out onto the sidewalk at a brisk pace before cutting into the nearest alley and taking to the roof. It was a simple equation, the martial artist realized as she leaped across the roof, then over to the next building to shave time off her route back to the park. She had come here directly from school, books in hand. Even now, said books were probably resting under a tree nearby the patch of real estate they had practiced on._ And with any luck, 'Sagi-chan's boyfriend is waitin' for me to pick 'em up..._

The redhead cleared the final building, landing on the soft green grass, The large tree her books were propped against in turn was twenty meters down range with no boyfriend in sight. Ranma filed the anomaly as inconsequential and made a direct line for them, arriving within the tree's proximity less than thirty seconds later. Its shade blotted out the waning afternoon sun and she was about to cover the final steps to her books when Usagi's fiancée stepped out from behind the opposite side of the thick tree, spotting the redhead instantly. He cocked his head with a curious, if somewhat amused smile upon sighting her.

"Oh, hello miss," He greeted Ranma cordially while the martial artist suddenly realized that she had failed to shift forms for the encounter. "Anything I can do for you?"

"Ah... um, just..." Ranma hedged, unprepared for the situation while simultaneously unwilling to reveal her condition quite yet. She eyed the books, then considered them sacrificial toward that end goal. Besides, it wasn't as if she couldn't just walk off and return as a guy in a few minutes. "I was... just looking for some shade."

"Of course," Mamoru returned agreeable and assumed a cheery smile. "I'm waiting for a friend as well. You can join me if you want?"

"I wouldn't want to-"

"It's alright," Usagi's fiancée insisted, stepping into her personal space while taking her hand gently. Ranma's eyes widened with the physical contact and he began to gently pull her further into the shade. "There's plenty to go around."

"I... that's..." Her brain was now racing as to the implications of Mamoru Chiba's smooth manner, which bore all too much resemblance to another smooth talker she had the unfortunate privilege of meeting. That particular meeting had ended in her first kiss, and if that was how _this_ one was going to go, Ranma had already decided that Usagi's boyfriend was going to die.

_And maybe I shouldn't be jumpin' to Akane conclusions, _she reconsidered as he stopped next to the tree itself_. Maybe he's just bein' friendly. Maybe he's just the touchy-feely type. Maybe-_ Ranma caught his eyes openly trace the contours of her body out of the corner of her eye. Her cheek twitched with the revelation even has he began to lean subtly closer.

_. . . Maybe he's gonna die._

Ranma snatched her hand out of the boy's grasp before that possibility would even have a remote chance of coming to pass, while the rest of her intellect fought to maintain her cover through a healthy dose of righteous indignation. "I, um... I really need to get going. Nice to... um, meet you!"

Mamoru frowned as the girl backed away, then outright fled the scene. Still, even that particular action allowed a lazy grin to cross his face as he admired her curves from the back while deciding that she was far better built than Usagi could ever hope to be. The redheaded beauty disappeared from sight and the teenager sighed, deciding that he had wasted enough time waiting for Saotome. With that final thought, he collected the books at his feet and abandoned the tree as well.

Neither could have known that their every move had been watched by a certain lavender kitten perched in a neighboring tree branch fifty meters away.

* * *

**B**elldandy, Goddess of the Present first class, category two hummed a simple tune as she tended to a hot stove top and the eggs frying on a pan she had set upon it. Realistically speaking, it was well within her divine providence to simply whip up a breakfast from ether- mana from heaven, if you will; though she gained more satisfaction from the act of creating a meal by hand... That, and it usually helped to center her thoughts after some of the more stressful encounters that were visited upon Keiichi and herself on a regular basis. The brunette-blond goddess considered the last few days and the tune she had been humming faltered slightly.

_POP!_

Belldandy blinked and turned to the source. One of the eggs in a carton of five spontaneously immolated itself, raining clear yellow goo around its immediate vicinity. The goddess frowned and removed the pan from its heat, then moved to the portion of the counter that had been spattered by the egg's payload with a cloth in hand.

The kitchen door at her back opened with the slightest squeak, and the Goddess of the Present turned to find the platinum tresses of her sister peering into the kitchen. Her eyes flicked from her sibling to the egg splatter along the counter-top, prompting a curious arch of her eyebrow. They stood staring at one another for another moment before Urd admitted herself fully into the kitchen, closing the door behind her.

"Anything I can help with, Bell-Chan?"

Belldandy looked from her sibling to the counter top and sighed. "It's... I don't know... She..."

"Keiichi is in the living room wondering why the TV began to smoke." Urd stated in a nonchalant tone, as if the fact were an everyday occurrence. The observation, however, caused the brunette to flinch slightly as the full realization of how much her last meeting with the Daimakaichō had affected her. Urd continued her silent observation before walking over to the opposite counter, leaning against it with a slight look of concern. "Wanna talk about it?"

Belldandy _didn't _want to, that much was certain, but it was either that or let her consternation leak out in destructive and not so subtle ways. "It's... what Hild-Sama said before she left."

"Seriously, Bell," Urd rolled her eyes with the mention of hell's mistress and her mother. "You should know better than anybody that she's a self centered, ego-maniacal-"

"It was about Keiichi," Belldandy cut her off softly, silencing the sister and earning her undivided attention. "About our future together."

"Oh," Urd replied tepidly, suddenly having a good idea of what the woman had said to Belldandy. In the end, she tried to dismiss it with a nonchalant shrug. "Head games. She's fond of them."

Belldandy held her silence for another moment, then turned back to the stove to return the unfinished eggs to their burner. "But I love him, Urd. He's not ready, but..."

"In time," The goddess of the past added, placing her hand gently on her sister's shoulder. "For the record, I agree with you. Keiichi's _not_ ready, but in time, he will be. Until then, she's simply yanking your chain." Urd's face scrunched up with irritation. "She's _good_ at that."

"It was the way she put it," The brunette insisted solemnly, adjusting the sunny side up eggs to a new position on the pan with the spatula in hand. "She said I was I was toying with him the same way she toyed with the young Saotome."

"Whatever," The tanned goddess snorted and turned to the refrigerator to her left. She opened it up easily enough and began to scan for an easily acquired snack. "Even _she_ knows what the kid means to you. Heck, that's the reason she brought it up in the... in..."

Belldandy watched as her sister stilled in the refrigerator doorway, then slowly straightened to her full height with a befuddled look on her face. Belldandy cocked her head, wondering what the woman was thinking. "Urd-Chan?"

"I..." The goddess's thought process stalled once more before her attention finally snapped back to Belldandy seconds later with new found intensity. "How _exactly_ did that conversation go?"

The goddess of the present still wondered at her sister's abrupt turnabout in attitude, but complied regardless. "I had advised her to stop the fight and informed her that heaven's consensus was that she was toying with Saotome. She responded by insinuating that I was likewise toying with Keiichi."

Belldandy watched the intensity on her sister's face fade into a puzzled expression. "But that's... She's..."

"What is it?"

"She plays games," Urd shook her head, still working the potential angles for herself. "They may seem like sadistic, petty games created solely for amusement, but I know her. _Mother_ always plays them with a purpose."

"But what does that have to with Keiichi?" The brunette goddess wondered with a certain amount of foreboding, dreading any further possibility of the Daimakaicho's plans for her fiancée while Urd paced the kitchen.

Urd opened her mouth as a thought found its way to her tongue, only to close it as another thought occurred. She cocked her head as the new revelation rolled around her intellect before coming to a conclusion that even surprised herself. "I... I don't think it _does_."

Belldandy simply remained silent as her sister worked through the supposition. "She knows you and Keiichi, and she knows you wouldn't play games with him like that. Of course, there's the distinct possibility that she's just indulging in her version of fun, but..."

Urd waved her hand, and the light woven template of an Yggdrasil holographic interface appeared. "Ranma Saotome."

The screen blinked with compliance as a picture of the martial artist appeared, his male aspect overlapped upon the female and thus indicating exactly which form he was in at the moment. Urd blinked as the portrait shifted to the female, causing her to shake her head as she reviewed the record; scrolling down with a single finger tracing down the display. Most of it she had already reviewed, and paid the majority of its content only cursory attention before reaching the end.

"Nothing exciting there," The tanned goddess commented, before continuing. "Chronology."

The record cleared and was replaced by a technicolor timeline detailing the life and times of Ranma Saotome, with major events marked off in discrete intervals. Urd scanned through the heavenly script and drew her finger across the screen, pulling more of the timeline into view until her eyes happened across a red square.

"Sealed," Belldandy noted, now quite interested in what her sister was searching for, then watched as she attempted to manipulate the block that obscured Ranma's future. "Sister, are you sure we should-?"

"Mother _dearest_ is up to something," The platinum haired woman returned bitterly as she continued to access the Yggdrasil command line, hammering code into the holographic keyboard. "Something more than using the kid as her own personal ball of yarn like we first thought." She tapped the 'return' key and nodded with satisfaction. "Access up-time records, Saotome Ranma."

"Up-time record: Saotome, Ranma; restricted access," A vaguely female voice droned from the interface, one that Urd ignored outright.

"Override."

The terminal floated silently for a moment before a response came back. "Access denied, insufficient privilege."

Urd blinked at the terminal, unable to comprehend what had gone wrong. She was a systems administrator. Time was the Norn domain. There weren't many people with _more_ authority than that. She turned to Belldandy and shrugged.

The Goddess of the Present decided to try her own hand, if only to ensure the threat to Keiichi was minimal. While she wasn't technically an Yggdrasil admin, she was still a Norn and held a marginally higher rating. "Please access up-time records, Saotome Ranma; override."

"Access denied, insufficient privilege."

It was Belldandy's turn to cock her head curiously, but Urd was already leaning out the kitchen door. "Hey squirt! Get your butt in here!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SQUIRT?" The black haired goddess of the future burst into the kitchen less than a minute later, her gaze flashing with irritation as it locked onto a smiling Urd. The youngest Norn began to stomp forward when her sister simply pointed to the Yggdrasil interface off to the side. Skuld looked from her sister to the terminal, and back to her sister, her irritation stymied for the moment._ "What?"_

"Access up-time records, Saotome Ranma," Urd began anew, causing the young goddess to scrutinize the record on display more closely. "Norn Command override, Urd Goddess of the Past two, one."

"Norn Command key acknowledged," The voice from the terminal replied. "Awaiting remaining command keys to proceed."

"Norn command override, Belldandy, Goddess of the present one, two." Belldandy continued with her portion of the command key trifecta.

Skuld looked from sister to sister with dawning understanding. Of course, she could refuse to offer her consent to this particular endeavor and stop their high level override into the Yggdrasil temporal database cold, but the timeline being display belonged to somebody now quite well known to her, and she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to take a peek. "Norn command override, Skuld, Goddess of the Future, two, one."

"Standby." The terminal stated with ineffable calm and the trio waited while it processed the request. A minute later the screen abruptly blanked out with a petulant_ 'beep!'_ and was replaced by a red window inlaid with divine script. All three moved closer to read the message it held.

_Sorry, girls. Access Denied._  
-Kami-Sama

* * *

_Dammit, dammit, dammit..._

**T**he thought flowed through Ranma's head even as she took to the ledge of another roof, flexing her legs and gaining a formidable amount of height while the forward momentum she retained did the rest. The street flashed below , but the red head hardly noticed as the encounter with Mamoru was review with equal amounts of anger and disgust. _Figures, _she scoffed with a measure of bitterness as she thought on the matter. _My first real student and her boyfriend's a playboy jackass. Wonderful._

Ranma hit the ground of the next roof and proceeded to traverse it at high speed, hopping over the occasional maze of ducting or dodging an air conditioning unit on her way to the opposite edge, where she leaped out into open space once more. _Gonna cause all sorts of problems too_, she decided while simultaneously wondering how long it would be before she would have to confront his inevitable demise by her very hand. It was the principle of the matter, Ranma decided as she continued her roof hopping back to Nerima. The sun's setting light tracing through Tokyo's skyline, highlighting her through its dying rays and setting her already red hair afire for anybody lucky enough to catch the martial artist in mid-flight.

_Sooner or later,_ she acknowledged, knowing that her own tolerance for that sort of behavior was on a short fuse thanks to some of the overly amorous morons she had met over the last two years._ Playboy will do something stupid, I'll deck him for screwin' with my student, she'll misunderstand things and I'm out of a job,_ Ranma summarized the situation, mentally scowling with the assessment. _Can't catch a goddamn-_

"ONEE-CHAN!"

Ranma's eyes widened as a young girl's voice pitched against her ears even as she passed through the apex of her jump. The redhead's attention immediately focused on the direction and found a young girl now standing directly in her landing zone on the next building- a landing zone she had ensured was clear of obstacles only seconds before. Panic, recognition and adrenaline collided simultaneously as Ranma fought the Newtonian physics that guided her fall, shifting weight and altering her trajectory just enough to avoid the lavender haired girl. Her landing was harder than necessary, and she touched down next to the seemingly prepubescent girl; avoiding her, but retaining the full momentum of the jump itself. A hard skid across the roof did its part in arresting her movement. The air conditioning unit in her immediate path did the rest. Metal shrieked as a martial artist magnitudes more durable than the unit itself slid headlong into its frame, shearing pieces of it away and all but ripping metal contraption out of its bolted foundation as Ranma continued on, tumbling a few more meters before coming to rest near the building's ledge.

The redhead lay dazed in a trench of shingles and assorted parts for a moment before shaking the impact off and attempting to regain her balance. Ranma lurched upright, twisted her neck right to squeeze a kink out and took a step out of the path of ruin she had created.

"Well, that wasn't any_ WAHHHH!"_

**THuNK.**

When the stars in her vision finally cleared, Ranma was looking at sky and the building she had just fallen eight stories from into an alleyway. No sooner than she had begin to assemble her wits to move did a pair of red eyes framed by a lavender crop of hair bob into view. "You okay, Onee-Chan?"

_Was doing great until some loli-succubus decided to appear, why'd ya ask?_ Ranma groused, shaking the cobwebs out of her brains as she attempted to stand once again. The Saotome turned to the pre-teen girl of her own approximate height clad in a strappy crimson red leotard and light blue bat print stockings. It took the redhead a moment to recall the relevant details concerning her, though the smallish wings protruding from the back and head were hard to forget. "Uh...wait, don't tell me... Lilith, right?"

"You remember!" The girl effused, offering her hand to the still sitting martial artist. Ranma took it and was pulled up briskly by the deceptively fragile looking demoness. She looked Ranma up and down, noting the disheveled state of her silks. "I didn't catch you at a bad time, did I?"

Ranma arched a skeptical eyebrow at the oblivious question, but let it slide regardless. "Just headin' home before everybody starts to wonder why I ain't there."

"Oh, well in that case..." Lilith decided and made a motion as if she were going to retrieve something, when her voice trailed off. Her face took on a distracted countenance and she cocked her head, sniffing the air. "Is that lust I smell?"

Ranma's eyes widened, unsure of how actually to explain the aforementioned lust and was even taken back that the girl before her could _smell_ lust. "Uh, that's... uh.."

"_Guy_ lust," The succubus elaborated, her sniffs probing into the redhead's personal space before eyeing Ranma with a mischievous glint. "Somebody_ likes_ you, Onee-Chan!"

Ranma blinked. Her face scrunched with irritation a moment later. "That _pompous asshole..._"

"Well he smells absolutely _delicious_," Lilith took another sniff before ceasing her lust detecting activities with a childish smile. "If you don't want him, maybe I can take him off your hands?"

Ranma opened her mouth, but the action failed to produce any sort of speech at first while her brain caught up to the improbable question. _Actually might not be a bad-_ "No, no... Not yet. Maybe... No."

Saying no, however, didn't make the prospect any less attractive to certain pernicious aspects of her personality seeking viable options to eliminate this newest dilemma she faced in Usagi's fiancé. On one hand, she wasn't the type to seek revenge and her student would probably find out the guy's idiocy sooner or later without her help. On the other, siccing a loli-succubus on Mamoru certainly tickled her sense of ironic justice, and said succubus was certainly eager. Ranma eyed the pleasantly smiling demoness once more as the possibility opened up again for a moment before she managed to shut it down. _No, no, no-_-

A shadow crossed overhead and Ranma only had a split second's worth of warning before a new battle cry echoed within the confines of the ally.

"PREPARE TO DIE, SAOTOME!"

The martial artist had only a moment to spin and grab Lilith, pirouetting her out of the strike zone before meeting dense red umbrella on its downward stroke with a cross arm block. Its spine slammed into her bracers, and beyond it, Ryoga Hibiki's furious expression as he landed behind the strike. The alleyway asphalt crumpled with the impact and Ranma winced with the force being transmitted through her frame, but retaliated in kind; scissoring upward on a single leg to send a hard kick straight into the lost boy's gut as he came down. Ryoga's eyes bulged as his stomach took the kick's full force and the gravity's fall to boot, allowing the redhead to redirect his momentum with that same leg into the wall to her left.

The brick structure failed with hit, producing a circular indentation that Ryoga wallowed in for a moment before recovering his senses enough to re-engage the martial artist in direct hand to hand combat while berate his rival for her moral indiscretions.

"_ANOTHER _FIANCÉE?" Ryoga growled, pummeling Ranma's guard with several combinations as he pressed the dodging redhead back. "AND A LITTLE GIRL AT THAT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D STOOP SO LOW!"

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Ranma balked, deflecting another hard fist aimed for her head and leaning out of the roundhouse kick that followed. "She ain't a fiancée, dumbass!"

"LIAR!" The lost boy's finger stabbed into the street, instantly causing it to spontaneously explode even though Ranma was already rolling out the strike zone. The pigtailed girl was peppered with asphalt fragmentation but shrugged it off, pulverizing Ryoga's ribcage with her chestnut technique in reprisal. He staggered, gasping for wind and she followed up with another mid kick to the gut, gagging him further. Her roundhouse blazed in for the side of his face, but the fanged martial artist snapped up with a glare, catching the punch in his left hand in order to exchange it for his right fist.

"They're _always_ your fiancées!" The Hibiki boy ranted as he set up for the right cross. "Every single last one of-"

_**WHAaaM!**_

"Just _SHUT UP_, dammit!" The redhead brought her head back and viciously head butted Ryoga with enough force to send both reeling. Ranma staggered back as stars danced on the edge of her vision. Ryoga stumbled around drunkenly for a few feet before a pair of arms caught him, stabilizing his balance. _The other girl._ He was just about to mumble an apology and get back to the fight when the lavender haired teen gathered him up in her arms, smiling down on him.

Ryoga blinked, but couldn't tear himself away from her all encompassing red eyes. "I... um... I have to..."

"_You_ have to come with _me_," She smiled eagerly and took his lips for her own. Ranma's eyes widened to the size of five hundred yen pieces as the lost boy spasmed in her embrace. A trickle of blood ran down his left cheek from his nose, undoubtedly, but the succubus maintained the kiss. She pulled the unwilling, nearly senseless boy further into her embrace, stroking his black hair as the frenching continued. The redhead's cheek twitched. The kissing became less and less unwilling as the seconds passed; lust building in the air around the demoness like a cloak that enveloped her prey until all struggling ceased.

_You've gotta be kidding me,_ Ranma stared in equal parts voyeuristic fascination and disbelief as the kiss continued for a full minute before Ryoga simply went limp in Lilith's arms. Once the boy was inert, she dropped him from the embrace like a sack of rice.

"Hm, that was yummy," The succubus mused introspectively, staring down at Ryoga, who's eyes were open in an unseeing glaze while a syrupy grin inhabited his face. Lilith licked her lips as if she had sampled a tasty snack, then turned her attention turned back to Ranma. "Can I keep him, Daimakaichoko?"

Ranma assumed the question was for her, but it had to be parsed no less than three times as she gawked at the scene that had just played out, then opened her mouth to object. She couldn't let her chief rival become demon bait, right?

Somehow, that's not what came out.

"Sure, why the hell not?" Ranma shrugged, already full up on drama for the day. She waved in his direction nonchalantly. "He's all yours."

"Yay!" Lilith gushed, bouncing over to Ranma and planting a friendly kiss on her cheek. The redhead jerked suddenly as the girl's aura came into contact with hers, prompting the red head to suddenly inhale as a ripple of lust was sent skittering across it. Female anatomy tightened pleasantly in response, and Ranma found herself biting her own lip with the surge. "Oh, I almost forgot!"

_That... that just ain't right_, her brain insisted headily, as if trying to convince the rest of her body that the sparkles dancing across certain parts of her skin were inconsequential. The feeling hadn't been overpowering and she couldn't blame the girl for what seemed like little more than an equalization of auras, but it was... distracting_. Very, _Ranma elaborated, failing to notice the girl as she pulled a thin scroll from empty air.

"Malcanthet-Sama told me to give you the technique for whatever body I found you in at the time," The lavender haired girl explained, proffering a well aged scroll to the martial artist who was only beginning to return to the here and now. "Here you go."

"A technique?" Ranma greedily latched onto the word and took the offered scroll, looking at the wax seal and ancient parchment. Even as she considered what it might contain, something the girl had said was picked up on. "Wait, 'bodies'? That means there's another technique?" Lilith simply nodded. "Can't I have both?"

"Nope! just one," Lilith tisked, prompting a disappointed look from the martial artist. "She said you can visit her for the other once you mastered the first."

"Oh," The martial artist's response lacked enthusiasm, but her mood quickly picked up. It wasn't as if Malcanthet was bad company, and those snack cakes she served were right up there with strawberry ice cream. A roguish grin replaced the pout immediately. "Well then tell her to be expecting me soon, because when it comes to martial arts, I'm the best there is."

"Okay!" Lilith confirmed, then turned back to her new toy now that her duty had been discharged. She looked down at his glazed expression with a puzzled look. "I hope he's not like that when I get him back to Nifelheim. I'm hungry!"

Incredulity reasserted itself on Ranma as she watched the succubus grab Ryoga's arm and commenced to dragging it toward the nearest shadow, both promptly disappearing as if sucked within. Much as she wanted to feel sorry for the lost boy, she just couldn't bring herself to that level of acting and turned back for home, scroll in hand.

* * *

_Dreams. _

**R**anma Saotome usually didn't dream, and there was a very good reason he didn't. Between, fiancées, rivals, his old man and other completely random encounters and events, the martial artist was quite a sound sleeper when it came time to apply head to pillow. Even then, a good night sleep was never guaranteed since the aforementioned spontaneous outbreaks of circumstance weren't limited to the waking hours of the day. As a result, Ranma Saotome, heir to the anything goes school of martial arts was a _sound_ sleeper when the opportunity arose.

The last week, however, had been a different matter entirely.

Part of it was due to the fact there had been actually very little random chaos after his return from China. As amazing as it seemed, there was actually peace in pigtailed boy's life for once, if only because the major players in his life were looking for a well deserved rest as well. It wasn't a peace that extended to Ranma's dream-state however. Whether it was due to the lack of action or the events themselves, Ranma's dreams were filled with fire and an immortal bird-king center stage. He was always bathed in fire, holding a rag doll in hand as he proclaimed his superiority to the heavens. Some nights, the doll would burst into flames. Some nights he would set entire mountain ranges afire as the doll smoldered in his clawed hand. Some nights they would fight, and Ranma himself would burn in agony.

Every dream ended the same, however. It ended with a tornado of ice eviscerating the mythical being to free Akane from his clutches; though it never ended as well as it had in real life. She fell to the flaming earth and shattered. She was consumed in the fires that held her. She was restored but died in his arms with burns to most of her body. She-

"Ranma?"

The martial artist froze mid punch, halting his Kata to tend to the voice of his nightmare. "Sup, Akane?"

The fiancée stepped through the doorway of the dojo that was hers by hereditary right, smiling uncertainly even as Ranma relaxed his form from the practice he had been engaged in. "You've been in here an hour. I was thinking that... maybe you would like to... maybe do something?"

"Do something?" Ranma mimed, unsure of what Akane meant while simultaneously unwilling to risk her temper if he was wrong.

"Um, together?" She added timidly, her eyes cast down at the tatami floor, as she traced it with her sock clad foot. Ranma stared at the girl as if she had grown a third head while her demure manner reminded him about everything he found attractive in the girl. She really was cute. When she wanted to be.

"I... I guess," The pigtailed boy found his voice, still unsure of where all this was headed. _Maybe I ain't the only one dealin' with the fallout from China,_ he theorized silently. In fact, she had been fairly mellow all week, now that he thought about it. With that thought in mind, he decided to take her lead. "Ah, got anything in mind?"

"I have a couple of bento," Akane's timid mood picked up with the acceptance, then watched mild alarm flash across Ranma's face and she quickly revised her statement. "Kasumi made them. Maybe we could go to the park and..."

Akane's voice trailed off and Ranma breathed silent relief that it wasn't her food they would be eating in the park. "I guess so. Been working up an appetite here."

The cobalt blue haired girl smiled gently and slipped her shoes back on, with her fiancé joining her moments later. Ranma slid the dojo's door closed and both walked the slate stone path back to the house. A companionable silence held for half the walk until Akane broke it tepidly.

"Um, Ranma...?" Ranma glanced over to the girl walking with him as they closed on the Tendo household. He opened the door for her and she took the invitation to continue even as they slipped out of their shoes once more. "Have you...thought about us?" The martial artist blinked cluelessly at the girl until she elaborated. "I mean the engagement?"

"Kinda," He admitted, completely misinterpreting Akane's demeanor as he outlined his take on their mutual situation. "I mean, what were the old guys thinkin' anyway?"

"Ranma-?"

"You were about as prepared for it as I was," Ranma shook his head as they moved deeper into the house, leaving the hallway for the kitchen. He cast a glance at Genma and Soun out on the porch they as passed, shaking his head in disappointment as the parental figures played their eternal game of shogi. Genma pointed to something across the yard and Soun glanced back, only to return his attention to a board that was now missing a vital piece. Ranma simply rolled his eyes, returning to the topic at hand. "And the other fiancées? Don't even get me started."

"Ranma-" Akane interjected again, but her fiancé was on a roll now.

"Seriously, I'm tryin' to find a way to get us all outta this," The martial artist shook his head; frustration evident in his voice. "I know you ain't-"

"Ranma!" Akane inserted herself forcefully into his monologue this time, bringing Ranma up short. He stared at her and she smiled gently. "I... I don't mind."

The pigtailed boy's eyes widened as he processed the statement, then made another pass in an attempt to dissect it further. "You... you don't mind?"

"It's okay," The youngest Tendo continued in that weird, passive-happy demeanor she had worn since breaking him from his Kata. He gave the girl a quick once over for any reversal jewels or otherwise out of the ordinary magical devices on her person as she continued. "It's okay... The marriage, I mean. If you're willing."

Ranma opened his mouth, only to find it suddenly dry. _What the hell?_ was the only thing that came to mind as his brain raced over what was under any other circumstance, _the_ worst case scenario come to life. _And she's okay with it?_ He found the girl watching him expectantly and he closed his mouth until something intelligent would come out. Unfortunately, the aforementioned intelligence had been caught completely blindsided and he had to make due with what was on the tip of his tongue in that moment.

"You... _you are_?"

"I've been thinking about it over the last week," She explained, either purposely ignoring or completely missing the incredulous note residing in his response. "And I'm ready... Whenever you are."

Ranma stopped short of the kitchen door, staring at the girl slated to be his wife since before they had even been born. Akane wasn't the joking type and certainly not one to pull pranks. Not to say she couldn't have fun from time to time; just that this was so far outside the realm of what she would even make fun of. A slow, horrible realization came to mind. _She's... she's serious!_ As impossible as it was, the martial artist was certain of it as he studied her eyes, and his thought process became little more than a tangle of neurons, all asking who, what, where, and why; not to mention a myriad of other important questions, most of which could have been summed up in three words that he dared not speak aloud...

...what the _fuck?_

"I..." The pigtailed boy stalled, taking a deep breath as he fought to compose the words. "I ain't sure what to say... It's pretty sudden..."

"Sudden, as in doing this for the last two years?" Akane teased with a light smile, and it literally took Ranma's thoughts several moments to catch up with the fact that _now _he was being teased.

"Heh, okay, you got me there," He scratched the back of his head, cracking his own smile; a smile that faded slightly with the portent of what she was suggesting. "But... Look, give me a bit on this, okay? I ain't sayin' no, but... Just have a lot on my mind, okay?"

Akane's smile lost a bit of strength as well, and for a moment, the martial artist couldn't help but to wonder if she would lose it right then and there. It wouldn't have been the first time and for a lot less, but she forced the smile back regardless. "Anything I can help with?"

_Unless you got an instant cure to all the crap the old man's saddled me with_, Ranma thought with an edge of sarcasm, but simply shook his head. "Nah, just need some time alone to think about it and all... If that's okay?"

He half expected it _wouldn't _be okay, but she surprised him again with another willing nod. With that, he made good on his promise to think it over while leaving Akane Tendo to her own thoughts... Thoughts that were interrupted minutes later by two inquisitive fathers who swooped in on her like vultures.

"We couldn't help but to overhear you and the boy..."

"So, how certain are you of this, Akane-chan?"

Genma and Soun scrutinized the girl as she considered her father's question, as well as the meaning implicit behind it. If she said yes now, there was no going back and she knew from past experience that the two would move heaven and earth to make their marriage happen. The youngest daughter considered the stakes, which invariably included her competition._ He saved my life and said he loved me! _The proclamation echoed through her psyche like a brand, firming her resolve. Ranma was probably out there now trying to think of a way to resolve the fiancee mess, but she knew in her heart of hearts there was only one way... With that, she returned her attention back to the two expectant parental figures with a determined countenance.

"_Absolutely certain_."

* * *

**T**en minutes away, Ranma walked. It wasn't the walk of somebody who knew where they were going or even cared ; and were more in possession of his wits , would have found his life comparable to his direction of travel. As it was, however, the heir to the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu was wallowing through the impossibility of what his Iinazuke had proposed. In fact, she had all but done just that- _proposed._ Akane Tendo was probably the one sure thing in his last two years in Nerima; the only pillar Ranma could rely on _not_ to marry him at the drop of the hat. Sure, it was tedious friendship at times and the girl was certainly cute when she wanted to be, but...

_But she's a real fiancée now,_ the martial artist shook his head with the slightest of remorse. It was the single biggest irony of their parents entire arrangement. Akane was the chosen one, favored by their parents from day one with unwavering resolve. It was the culmination of over a decade's worth of planning, but that status was something she had never cashed in on much to his relief. In fact, she didn't even _want_ it, which was fine in Ranma's eyes since he wasn't exactly looking to get hitched either.

And now she did, which made him the last man standing in this whole screwed up tangle of arranged marriages and fiancées.

_Freakin' great, _the pig tailed teen sighed as he continued his aimless trek through the suburb, contemplating the likely fall out. Akane's status was actually the _least_ of his concerns.

_My old man and Tendo are another story_, he decided. _They find out, it all goes south. Fiancees find out, ain't nowhere gonna be safe._ Ranma sighed, noting that the only glimmer of hope to be seen through the entire disaster waiting to happen was that Akane knew the situation as well as he did. _No chance she's gonna trust the old men or the other girls with this, which means I got some time to plan..._

_...Something._

What that something was, however, was a complete mystery to him at the moment. His last, safe harbor to stave off holy matrimony had just closed down and now he was surrounded on all sides. _Think I'd know better than to not take Hild-San's advice by now_, he snorted and finally turned his attention to actually paying attention to where he was actually going. All the good choices had run out, which only left-

"What a haul, _what a haul!"_

A slow smile crawled across Ranma's face as he localized the familiar cry, quickly finding it bounding across the rooftops further on down the street while various angry females gave chase on foot. There weren't many things he would consider the old pervert good for, the martial artist mused as he took to the rooftops himself, vectoring his jumps for an intercept. One of those things, however, was a good fight; which in turn made for stress relief.

_"Moko Takabisha!"_

Ranma had a lot of stress to relieve at the moment, and Happosai had to abandon his bag of ill gotten lingerie e as the Ki shot streaked in from his flank at close range. The technique's high pressure environment ruptured on contact, missing the old grand master entirely but hitting his cargo. Its detonation ensured the cloth bag's contents exploded in a silky cataclysm that showered the street for a good hundred meters with women's undergarments. Happosai's stunned look mirrored that of the pedestrians below as he watched his silky darling float down around him like so many snowflakes. Unlike the pedestrians, however, his gaze instantly fix the boy landing next to him with a hate filled glare.

_"You."_

"Yeah, me," Ranma replied in a flippant manner, though it took some effort to shrug of the aura of menace that the ol d man was throwing his way without his body betraying a shiver. "So whatcha gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna kick you ass, you ungrateful little whelp!" The perverted gnome growled back, suddenly exploding in an angry red bonfire of Ki. "And then I'll kick Genma's for not teaching his boy a modicum of respect!"

"Oh, now that's just a bonus ," Ranma smirked, rocking on the balls of his heels with the expectation of the aforementioned ass kicking. There was no doubt in his eyes that this was going to hurt one way or the other, but Happosai was the most convenient and possibly most effective stress relief available at the moment. With that thought in mind, Ranma pulled his hand out of his pockets, flexing them. "Let's do this."

"Damn right we'll do this," Happosai bit back, pulling the long stem of his pipe from the folds of his breast tunic, spinning it menacingly in preparation to attack. "And after I'm done scrapping you off the pavement, you'll model... model... eh... um..."

Ranma warily watched as all expression drained from the old master's face; his red battle aura guttering while his eyes widened in what the martial artist could only interpret as genuine unadulterated fear. The master took a tepid step back, then collapsed abruptly , prostrating himself fully before Ranma, who was in turn boggling at the sudden turn of events. If it was a trick, it was quite possibly the most unorthodox and humiliating one he'd ever seen the old man employ. "Look, old man, I ain't sure what you're-"

"Ranma!" Happosai snapped, raising his eyes just enough to glare at the his self proclaimed student. "Show your respect in the presence of the Daimakaichō!" Ranma blinked, then turned to find to find the Grand Demoness walking up behind him with a bemused expression even as Happosai continued, pressing his nose back to the rooftop shingling. "Please forgive this unworthy excuse for an heir, Hild-dono. I have been too lax in my efforts to steer him onto the true path and he knows not the disrespect he displays."

The surprise on Ranma's face was priceless in Hild's opinion, and she couldn't suppress the chuckle as she watched his head whip back and forth between herself and Happosai, then back to her, shaking his head meaningfully. "Y'know... I'm pretty sure this shouldn't come as a surprise."

"RANMA!" The pervert snapped ineffectually as the boy turned his back on him.

"What's he on the hook for, anyway?" Ranma continued, prompting Hild to simply chuckle as both ignored the frustrated gnome.

"A demonic apprenticeship, actually," The woman glanced at Happosai, then turned back to Ranma's curious expression with further details. "Not all of our staffing comes from the damned. Quite a bit comes from those who literally volunteer their souls to our service."

"Somehow, that just about figures as well," The black haired teen turned back to Happosai, who's own anger over Ranma's impertinence had morphed into complete and utter disbelief. "I guess your job is just bein' an all around pain in the ass?"

"Something like that," The grand demoness confirmed with a smile, standing side by side with the boy now. Happosai returned to his feet cautiously. Much as Ranma's attitude demanded an adjustment, to say that there was something off about the situation was the understatement of the last decade. The pair interacted far to easily to simply be passed off as coincidence. "Call them odd jobs here and there."

"Daimakaicho-Sama," The grand master inquired with nervous curiously as the inexplicable stacked up around him. "If I may ask-"

"_No_. You may _not _ask." Hild's leadened purple gaze lanced through the old pervert, who suddenly went deathly still with the attention. "And should you inquire further, I will ensure your apprenticeship is forfeit and simply devour your soul right here and now."

Happosai immediately fell to his knees once more, prostrating himself before his benefactor while Ranma watched with an arched eyebrow. "Well, now I know where my old man gets it from."

His attitude grated across the old master like glass across his skin, but that portion of his irritation was balanced by the fact that it was becoming quite obvious that not only did Ranma know the Daimakaicho, he was apparently _favored_ by her as well. That made his particular position in her good graces quite perilous given his history with the boy; a position he was reluctant to antagonize further without more knowledge.

"I trust he wasn't causing you undue trouble?"

Happosai's gut turned to ice with Hild's question, and he pressed his nose to the shingling with the slightest whimper while revising his estimation of the situation. _Perilous_ didn't even begin to describe the implications of her inquiry, and now he was all but certain his fate hung by the thread named Ranma Saotome. Unless he missed his guess, Ranma's answer here and now would determine whether his apprenticeship continued or if he was dropped unceremoniously into a lake of-

"Nah, just being the perverted old goat he usually is," The sudden change in timbre of Ranma's voice combined with the response caused the old master's head to pop up, suddenly finding a redhead conversing easily with the Mistress of Hell instead of the black haired martial artist from mere seconds ago. _Without the benefit of water?_ The urge to jump up and grope his unwilling heir didn't even come into play, however, as he hung on every word. "Besides, I was the one pickin' the fight... Stress relief, ya might say."

_Reprieve! _Happosai breathed silent relief with Ranma's response even as the rest of his brain was still dealing with the dynamic surrounding the pair. The fact that Ranma had just changed without water was almost unimportant when faced with the potential of eternal damnation at the Daimakaicho's hand.

"Another fiancée?" Hild simply cast matter of fact look with her guess while Happosai in turn was more than happy to be forgotten for this particular exchange

"Kinda," Ranma's expression dimmed slightly. "Akane now, if you can believe it."

Now _that_ was news to Happosai, though Hild didn't appear surprised in any way shape or form, which gave him some yardstick as to their interaction to date. " There are ancient words of wisdom for exactly this sort of situation, Ranma-Chan."

"Oh yeah? What are they ?" Ranma hung on her motherly tone, wondering just what sort of advice would help her out of the shit storm brewing in her future. The mistress of hell happily supplied them.

"I told you so."

The martial artist's face hit the shingling at her feet with the reply, while Happosai's cheek ticked with unease. Hild- dono... The grand demoness herself... joking with his Ranma-chan? _When the hell did all this happen! _His psyche screamed as he watched Ranma pick herself back up off the rooftop.

The redhead shook the stumble off, throwing an exaggerated glare back at Hild, who merely smirked back. "Yeah, yeah. Had the last twenty minutes to kick my own ass over it, too."

"For what is wedlock forced but a hell; an age of discord and continual strife," The white haired woman quoted grandly before posing her next question. "And what do you intend to do about this particular debacle?"

"I think Akane's smart enough not to involve our parents," Ranma explained, working the angles out loud. "That gives me a few weeks. Sooner or later the panda and Tendo are gonna catch on. That'll be a pain in the ass when they do." Hild simply patiently as she watched the martial artist's mental gears churn. "Heck, short of a training mission, I... I..."

Happosai watched Ranma turn toward him, and an unquantifiable dread settled in his stomach as her face took on a look of wonder, then was slowly replaced by a mischievous smile. "I think if they pester us, we might have to put Happosai's apprenticeship to good use. A good trainin' mission might do 'em a world a good, y'know? "

_You're learning quickly, child,_ Hild smiled inwardly at Ranma's impromptu punishment, while allowing herself an externally satisfied expression. "Quite fitting, if I do say so. If anything Happosai, is quite the task master. That said, I am bored and you are far too preoccupied with this development for your own good. I'm certain a happy medium can be found."

Ranma's face blossomed into a full blown smile of anticipation. "I'm certain you're right."

"Then let's," Hild held out her hand, which Ranma happily took.

A gout of fire consumed the pair less than a moment later, leaving Happosai forgotten on the roof; surrounded by lingerie and questions. Realistically, the questions didn't matter. Somehow, he was still unscathed in spite of the monumental miscalculation he had made in his designs concerning the Saotome child. Her answer had undoubtedly saved his eternal ass from being bathed in hellfire whether she knew it or not; a mistake he dared not repeat lest the redhead not feel so charitable the next time her opinion was solicited by the Daimakaicho. Moreover, there was also Hild-dono's complete lack of any objection concerning the redhead's requisition of his apprenticeship status- even approval, unless he completely misread her reaction.

_Guess it could be worse,_ he grumbled and began a circuit about the rooftop to collect his silky darlings. He had endured tasks far worse in his apprenticeship than being ordered about by a curvy Jusenkyo cursed martial artist, and while the idea of taking orders from the kid wasn't the most appealing, Ranma certainly had a fine grasp of ironic justice. _Maybe not a lost cause after all..._

_Besides,_ Happosai hummed to himself, bending over to pick up a pastel blue thong. _It's not like I wouldn't enjoy putting the ol' boys through hell again, anyway.

* * *

_

**T**he anemic pillar of flame exited in downtown Tokyo, three hundred and eight meters south of Harajuku's metro station, in front of a very exclusive high-end clothing store. It was one that Ranma would have recognized immediately if not glancing around, wondering why the crowd of people they had just exploded within hadn't so much as batted an eye. The tuxedo-clad doorman at the storefront however, did register their presence upon closing on the establishment, opening the door widely for Hild and her redheaded associate. Only by catching the gold stenciling of the word 'Mikasa' on the glass door was Ranma able to pin down her location as she stepped across it's threshold, even as Hild glanced back at her.

"What do you know of contracts, dear?"

"Aside from ol' Urd goin on about them and my old man using 'em to make my life miserable?" Ranma snorted, but shrugged; realizing Hild's meaning likely went deeper than the question itself. Personally, she had been involved in exactly one contract herself and couldn't help but to shiver as the memory recalled a vision of her mother and the gleaming edge of a katana; A threat that was still on the table unless Ranma missed her guess. Instead of probing further, she simply waited for the forthcoming explanation.

"There is that, of course," Hild nodded as they continued further into the store, passing the racks of causal wear while moving toward the back. "In my line of work, they are universally binding agreements, broken at the peril of all parties involved."

The martial artist trailing behind her thought on the matter for a moment before forwarding her first observations. "Peril... As in dangerous. I'm takin' it somethin's enforcing these contracts besides a random fiancée?"

"The Universal Force," The grand demoness chuckled, pausing at a higher end dress rack to pick through some of its specimens while continuing. "It is part of the wheel upon which the cosmos turns. Attempting to violate any contract using it as a foundation will result in disaster for the offending party in some way, shape or form."

"Well, damn." Ranma simply commented. While she didn't know where her friend was heading with all of this, she was more than happy to play along. _How many times would the old man have gotten bent over?_ she wondered in passing before confirming the notion aloud. "Okay, somebody tries to bail on a deal and gets their asses kicked by this force thingy?"

"In essence," Hild nodded, then pulled a dress from the rack. She took a silent moment to judge the red cocktail dress whose straps would wrap around the back of the neck before putting up to Ranma herself. The girl looked at the dress, then Hild with a blinking question before the dress was pulled away and returned to the rack. "Contracts are also a necessary instrument for my subordinates to carry out their work here on the mortal plane."

"Screwing bad guys over."

Hild smiled at the coarse twist. "Exactly. Properly written contracts are a form a control; an avenue by which the damned are sentenced. A properly constructed pact will not only damn the signer in the end, but allow for multiple possibilities to forfeit his soul along the way much sooner."

"Okay, I guess I can see that," Ranma nodded, though found her attention increasingly divided between just why they were talking about contracts, and why Hild-San occasionally plied a fancy dress to her body. Her expression lost a bit of the humor as she chewed on the rational, however, and she voiced her concerns. "But ain't that encouraging them to be bigger bad guys? I mean, given 'em what they want can't be any better."

"Which is why the contract's author must be quick in wit and skilled with prose," Hild added, then sized the girl up with a draping silver dress she had found. she looked at it for a moment before shaking her head. "If your opponent is intelligent enough, you may face a protracted battle and may even surrender unfavorable terms to him or her... Though depending on the circumstance, these could very well align with your goals in other arenas and contracts."

"Jeez, you're making it sound like a game of Shogi," The girl commented, watching the silver dress retreat. "And what's with all the fancy dresses, anyway?"

"Normally I don't involve myself in serving contracts," The Daimakaicho paused in her dress hunting to turn back her protégée, hesitating slightly before continuing. "You were very nearly an exception back... _before_, but it is- on average -grunt work. Tonight, I mean to show you what it means to take a soul via one of these pacts."

Any flippant that were forming in Ranma's brain died suddenly as her thought process crystallized around that central concept... _To take a soul_. Her own knee jerk reaction was to write the act off as cruel and undeserving, at least until she remembered her own trip to hell and the pit. Those people had deserved it just fine, in her opinion, though how one of these pacts entered into that process was still a large unknown. There was something else about the explanation, and Hild's hesitation hadn't gone unnoticed. Ranma shrugged, playing a hunch.

"Look, Hild-San, If you're looking for somebody to convince, they ain't here."

The slightest smile edged it's way onto the grand demoness' lips. "Indeed child, though I still feel it is... necessary given our association." A playful look sparkled in her eyes. "That, and I suspect you might find it somewhat... therapeutic."

"Heh," Ranma chuckled. "Kickin' ass and takin' names is always therapeutic, but I ain't so good with contract stuff."

"All in due time," Hild patted the girl gently on the head and played to the redhead's strengths. "A martial arts prodigy would undoubtedly find the creation of such pacts a trivial task."

Ranma glowed with the praise and Hild continued her dress hunting, retrieving a black skirt, studying it, then Ranma with a judgmental eye. "Yes. Black, I think. Not this one, but..."

"You're killin' me with all the dress huntin', you know?" Ranma watched the article of clothing disappear back into the hanger from where it came, though Hild didn't even bother to turn her smirk back on the redhead as she kept her search.

"As if you don't enjoy reducing men to an absolute stupor for your own petty amusement," The white haired woman commented, bringing an impish grin to the teen's face. "Tonight you shall merely observe... participate if you want, though I shall not require it of you."

"And this place we're going requires us to go as hotties or something?" Ranma smirked, idly picking her way through the rack herself now that her own curiosity had been aroused.

"Not necessarily," Hild countered absently. "Though you of all people should know how much sex and violence complement one another."

The redhead opened her mouth to balk at the comment, but found it instantly preempted by a single word. _Fiancées_. The grand demoness watched the girl's mouth snap back closed with a small measure of amusement and turned to a nearby attendant that had been hovering just out of earshot, beckoning him over. "I require Reiko-Chan's assistance."

Under any other circumstances, the young twenty something black haired male in his trendy untucked white dress shirt and black slacks might have politely advised his customer that the owner of the store was out and that he would be happy to assist them in any way possible; likewise happily collect any commission generated by their sales. That part would remain unspoken, of course. As with many events surrounding the Daimakaichō and her redheaded charge, however, circumstance tended to deviate from normal, and the associate in question was more than happy to fetch the establishment's owner since everybody working therein had been advised to assist any woman by a description of having tanned skin, white hair and purple eyes in any capacity she requested. It was also made clear by the owner that not doing so would mean their _immediate_ dismissal.

Tanned? Check.  
White hair? Check.  
Purple eyes?

Well, maybe. He would have called them lavender, but they were close enough to where his immediate termination hinged on this VIP's satisfaction. The attendant scurried off even as he had already had been forgotten about by the mistress of hell, who turned back to Ranma. "Our particular client tonight is Yakuza. He is the head of a clan and has ascended through the ranks with the help of one of our contracts. He has also broken the terms, according to the demon that normally handles his case, which makes him a perfect case study for our outing."

"And the dresses?" Ranma paused in her own browsing with the explanation, briefly studying a shimmering white gown before pushing it back.

"He is throwing a party tonight," Hild smirked. "Celebrating some territorial acquisition of some sort I'm told. I intend for us to mix business and pleasure."

Before Ranma could question the business or the pleasure, a black haired woman in black business suit and calf length pencil skirt strode up to them, smiling pleasantly as she adjusted her glasses. Her study flicked from Hild to the Ranma and back discreetly. "A pleasure as always, Hild-Sama... And your lovely redheaded acquaintance from the prior visit as well. Fascinating."

The redhead in question arched a skeptical eyebrow with the 'fascinating' tag, but opted to remain silent as her friend got down to business.

"I rather think so as well," The demoness quipped with an enigmatic smile, but continued regardless. "Ranma-Chan and I are going out for a night on the town. She will need to be divorced of her martial arts raiment for a more appropriate setting."

"Hey!" The girl squawked with the playful slight, causing Hild to turn an amused look on her. "I can dress myself up for this just fine, thanks!"

"My budget says otherwise," The Daimakaicho teased. "Now hush, child."

The redhead's face scrunched with exaggerated irritation, but she complied nonetheless as the white haired demoness continued. "Black suits her quite well, I think. Something that leaves nothing to the imagination."

"No bra." Ranma inserted quickly, causing Reiko to eye the girl curiously.

"Of course not," Hild assuaged, turning back to the store owner. "That would be counterproductive with her physique."

Reiko nodded her agreement, then began to circle the redhead with a studious countenance. "The black of the void to mix with her crimson mane would be quite captivating," She glanced at Hild. "The full treatment, yes?"

Hild loosed a slight chuckle. "As much as you can convince her of."

Ranma looked upon both women with slight suspicion as she wondered exactly what the details 'treatment' was, suspicion that promptly ended with the sharp clap of the store owner's hands.

"Misha! Seko! Kokura!" Three female attendants instantly materialized from the jungle of racks and clothing to stand at attention before Reiko herself. "I will tend to the Miss Saotome's evening wear and fitting personally. Your other appointments are cancelled. Ensure she is relaxed and refreshed before then."

"Yes, Reiko-Sama!" All three chorused simultaneously, dropping into deep bows while waiting for their charge to move. Ranma eyed them with foreboding, then turned back to Hild with a worried expression.

"This ain't what I think it is, is it?"

"Now where did you get that idea?" Hild's reply was nonchalant enough to cause Ranma's guard to drop slightly... At least until she caught the gleam in her eyes. "It's _much _more than than you think it is."

Ranma's eyes flicked back to the still bowing girls, Reiko and her business like demeanor and finally back to the less than business like demeanor of the grand demoness. The redhead gulped. "Do I haveta?"

The playful smile was maintained for a moment before lapsing into one that spoke of concern even without the words. "You have had a stressful week. Suffice to say, yes."

Her tone was gentle, but unyielding, causing Ranma to slump in defeat. Of course, she could have pressed the issue, but in spite of being in this exact same situation only weeks before, she could no more resist Hild than she had her own mother at the time. That, and there was something in her words that Ranma simply couldn't- nor wouldn't -ignore. The woman before her _cared_. That was a very, _very_ short list to begin with, and the pigtailed teen wasn't about to shorten it further by standing on worthless principle. Tonight she would submit herself to getting primped and pampered and never, ever tell another living soul about it.

_Ever._

"I... alright, I guess," Ranma sighed with all the finality of a prisoner facing her imminent execution. The attendants in waiting snapped up with her consent; all smiles and all too ready to lead her to a very feminine doom.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Won't put too much here since this chapter was originally a single work already exceeding 23k words unfinished, and this was probably the best place I could cut it off at for coherency sake. Ch9 Pt2 is still building and should follow along shortly.

**Fiancee!Akane;** Looking back at the series, the turnabout in Akane's character is a drastic one: from open ridicule and violence for nearly 37 books to near subservient acceptance within the space of the final arc with Saffron. With that in mind, I hope I'm portraying this steep character gradient as realistically as possible in terms of her reactions and implications for the future.

**Loli!Succubus; **Yes, that's Lilith from _Vampire Savior _aka _Dark Stalkers_.


	10. Chapter 9, Part 2

**Hell is a Martial Artis****t  
**Chapter 9, Part 2

_By Ozzallos_

**T**he district of Roppongi in lower Tokyo was busy... Busy with _sin_.

For the Hild, Queen of the Damned, it was business and business was good. She strode through the throng of tourist and evening party goers as if she owned the very ground they walked upon. They, in turn, unconsciously parted for the ruler of hell and her charge, one redheaded martial arts heir who hardly looked like a martial arts heir at the moment. Regardless of their respective titles or gender of the moment, both were playing the part of female bombshells and the attention riveted to their persons was quite deserved.

Hild herself was, of course, the least conservatively dressed of the pair. Her current fashion consisted of a long suede trench coat and skirt, though the proverbial devil was in the details since she couldn't wear_ just_ a trench coat and skirt. It was the way she wore it, which was to say as minimalistic as possible. The high collared suede coat itself remained nominally unbuttoned with nothing underneath, bound only by a leather waist cincher that wrapped around her generous curves which barely concealed her well developed charms; the rest flowing around her like a dress. The knee high skirt that followed was a lighter metallic blue that flexed with every movement...

…Movement her redheaded counterpart reproduced as only a martial arts master could hope to achieve. Ranma had indeed escaped the clutches of Asakusa's minions, but not before her entire person had been reduced to unwitting mass of relaxed jelly through a series of massages, rubs and shampoos. By that point, the blue eyed girl didn't even care that she was receiving a pedicure, manicure and full facial. A light pass of make-up followed, prompting a minor protest, then the fitting. When it was said and done, she had looked in the mirror and knew what everybody around her was staring at. The gown itself was a shimmering black silk, subtly embroidered with a deep crimson weave that only became visible at the right angle in the right light. The design wound its way around her body, taking on a quintessential Chinese motif of clouds and smoke while trace gold highlights helped the eye to follow any curve not revealed to the naked eye.

In some ways, it was slightly more conservative than Hild's dress, but only marginally since it gave everybody free license to stare at the strapless heart of her bust line that swayed with almost as much freedom as her patron's. The whole of her back was likewise left to the open evening air all the way down to the small of her back, where upon the dress once again took to the task of wrapping itself around her hips and down to her shimmering black stilettos she wore. Each purposeful stride, however, revealed the gown's thigh high slit that in turned revealed her left leg, which melted in and out of the black silk curtain as she walked.

For anybody else, the incessant staring of passing crowd might have been too much. Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts wasn't quite anybody else. Being raised as her father's son had ensured that the girl walking along side Hild had little to no concept of feminine modesty in any way that mattered. Being programmed from the day she could walk to quite literally be the best in anything that mattered only ensured that she would take this particular challenge head on. Even worse, she knew just how good she looked; staring at herself an hour ago in the mirror had made that fact absolutely clear. She had barely been able to take her own eyes of her own reflection and now for every man that passed out, for every geyser of blood that erupted along their path, her confidence was only fueled that much more. Like her art she took what she needed and in turn took ruthless, unmerciful advantage of what the curse had gifted her with two long years ago.

Ranma's only real protest had come with the accessorizing of the outfit, thought even then she had to admit that they only enhanced the already exotic qipao. There was the matching black silk ruffles that wound around her neck in a collar. The sparkling golden peacock feather clip earrings inlaid with sapphires and a similarly bejeweled anklet. The delicate gold slave bracelet coiled around Ranma's middle finger insisted upon by Reiko hadn't gone without protest either, but she acceded to that in the end as well. She fingered the unfamiliar weight of its triangular shield and accompanying red gems resting upon the back of her left hand, but had since decided that if Hild-san had to put up with the power limiters and crap that she wore regularly, then so could she.

"Oooof!"

A sexy, impish grin crawled across Ranma's face as another male walking in the opposite direction found himself hypnotized by her walk, only to run headlong into a salary man who also found himself fascinated by the switch of her hips. The two went down in a flurry of limbs and paperwork, allowing the redhead revised her score. "Eleven."

"Nonsense," Hild tisked playfully, glancing at her partner. "Foreigners only count as half."

Ranma's eyes widened as her sensibilities took a hit. "You can't just go changing the rules!"

"My business _is_ changing the rules," Hild smirked back, ignoring the girl's narrowing gaze. "Come to think of it, so is your art. Ten point five."

"Then what about that group back at the corner?" Ranma huffed, attempting to salvage her score. "If that's the case, you're down to at least eight."

"I am the Daimakaichō, dear," She patiently explained. "Natives and foreigners alike are my clients. Fifteen."

Competitive irritation simmered within the martial artist, causing her to turn back to her task with redoubled effort. After the gambling king incident, there were many who believed that Ranma couldn't act worth a damn, and to a certain extent, they were right. Bluffing or outright lying had turned out to be a lost cause, though few had ever thought to asked 'why?' and even fewer actually cared.

There might have been a number of reasons, really. Ranma's upbringing, for example, could have easily been to blame. Bereft of social interaction beyond his father, Ranma simply lacked the emotional evasiveness that most everybody else developed through simply cultural exposure. Another theory ran along the lines that Ranma's own skill and arrogance had cultivated that trait. What need was there to lie about anything when you were the best? There were a number of probable reasons really, but even if these concerned individuals had contemplated the Saotome's mental condition to such a degree, their hypothesis invariably missed something crucial concerning his psychology...

...Ranma could act _quite well._

Or rather, those acting skills simply required the proper venue in order to be observed. For the redhead in question, that venue was in the here and now on the streets of Roppongi. While it could have just as easily been a food vendor in Nerima or suckering Ryoga, Ranma now turned those formidable skills- skills further honed by Hild herself -upon a Honda passing by at slow speed. The vehicle itself spoke of money. Ground effects. Lighting. Spoiler. All of which meant nothing to the teen bombshell as she turned a smoldering gaze on its driver and his three companions. Her blue eyes locked with theirs and she sent a smoky look their way while ensuring that any eye that strayed from hers was immediately captured by the practiced sway of her step. The driver's mouth hung open and she licked her lips...

_THUuMP!_

The Honda's front end crumpled with the impact, its driver's attention having strayed on the woman for far too long to notice that the Toyota in front had slowed its pace. The white Celica jumped with the impact and time for the cruising teens resumed as they were jolted forward through the low speed impact. Ranma simply turned her attention back to her direction of travel with an almost sinister smile.

"Fourteen... _point five."_

For a moment, Hild was rendered the closest thing to speechless as she realized the girl's intent, and that intent was to engage the very mistress of hell itself in a game of one-upmanship. It really shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it did, if only because nobody _ever _did._ But then, it's never simply a game for you, is it?_ The Daimakaichō appraised the girl's attitude, knowing that she could no more _not_ raise the stakes any more than the sun could not rise tomorrow. It was part of her, and whether it a martial arts rival or the queen of the damned, Ranma Saotome would rise to the challenge because her very makeup brooked no alternative.

_What a demon you would make, child,_ the woman mused internally, but had already resolved that particular matter several weeks back. As it was, she was a mortal and thus outside her chain of command. It also placed her beyond the politics that usually accompanied such a position, and that made her unique in their interactions. That alone allowed Hild to consider the girl with other emotions beyond a simple leader-subordinate archetype, elevating the redhead to that rare position that had remained unfilled for several millennia. She was _special_ to her, and that made her smile at the girl's impetuousness.

"I see," Hild replied to the challenge with an overly stern tone that indicated her amusement in itself. "Eight blocks remain to our destination, Ranma-Chan. As the Daimakaichō I cannot, of course, allow you to win this challenge. "

Eager rebellion flashed in the Ranma's eyes as eager grin found its way to her lips. "Well as the heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, I'd like to see ya try."

_"So be it."_

And so it went. By the time the police arrived fifteen minutes later, bodies were everywhere. Their gut reaction was that an open turf war between neighboring Yakuza or Triad interlopers had taken place and actual firepower was called in to contain the situation. Even as armored vehicles were arriving, their theory was quickly overturned when further investigations failed to reveal any of the hallmarks of an organized crime war. No shell casings. No slashing. No broken bones. There was, however, blood.

Lots and_ lots_ of blood.

The National Institute of Infectious Diseases was immediately called in and for the space of a half an hour, six square blocks of Roppongi Hills was quarantined while space men in bulky white HAZMAT suits tested the area and isolated potential victims. A profile of the illness was promptly written up. Given the disparity of victims and their lack of direct contact, the unknown vector was thought to be airborne to some degree. Once infected, the victim usually suffered unconsciousness or blood loss within minutes, exhibiting either clumsiness or distraction as their sole symptoms only minutes prior; all virtually without warning. The demographic involved also tended to favor predominately young males , though there were a handful of females suffering from the same symptoms.

The department managing the quarantine and couldn't have known that the latter counted for double points.

By the time it was realized that the mysterious epidemic wasn't one at all, Hild and Ranma had arrived at their destination in good humor, laughing at their own antics as they closed on the nightclub known only as the Kaijin Karasu. The exterior wasn't notable in any way, save copious amounts of heavily tinted glass, soft ambient lighting, brass railing and a long,_ long_ line of people awaiting entrance along the sidewalk. The line, in fact was the first thing Ranma Saotome noted with slight dismay. Aside from the fact that everybody in that line was dressed in a way that spoke of means, it was still _long;_ prompting her to comment on the matter of its length.

"You gotta be kidding me," She complained as the pair closed on their destination, crossing at the final corner between them and the club. "We're going to be waiting all night in that."

"No, _they_ will be waiting all night in that," Hild corrected, motioning to the people they were now passing. "We will simply bypass it by advising the rather large doorman that we are on his list, thereby gaining instant access."

"We are?"

"Of course we are," She replied to the blinking redhead as they neared the front of the line. The redhead had forgotten the stares they were receiving now as she hung on her friend's explanation. "They are waiting to obtain a measure of self gratification. We are here to take a soul and are thus granted considerable liberties in the method by which we take it."

Ranma attempted to make sense of the answer, using her own logic to fill the gap. "_So... _you called ahead?"

Hild very nearly produced a giggle with her reply. "Nothing so mundane," She returned easily. "There are only certain, well defined instances where a celestial being such as myself may interact with the mortals of Midgard to that degree. One of those circumstances is in the execution of the contract... Similar to the authority granted by a 'kouinjou', if one were to use the equivalent local vernacular."

"The mighty force thing again, right?" Ranma hazarded, earning a delighted clap from the grand demoness.

"Very good!" She complimented, launching into a detailed explanation. "Moreover, an extension of it. Our unfortunate victim has violated our contract, thus removing himself from the protection of the Ultimate Force. From there, the demon submits a soul seizure writ to the Nidhogg-"

"Hell's giant computer," Ranma inserted, earning another nod from the white haired adult.

"-which in turn authorizes a time and date upon which the soul in question may be seized." The Daimakaichō finished up, watching Ranma's face as she worked through the details herself.

The redhead thought about the process. It seemed pretty straight forward, but there was one question that remained unanswered in her mind. "Okay, but what does all this have to do with us being on the list?"

"Simple," The mistress of hell replied, then turned her attention fully upon the bouncer and his partner as both females neared the head of the line. Ranma noticed her shift in attention, as well as the subtle change in her body language and adapted hers to follow the tanned woman's cue. The boy who couldn't act sank beneath a wholly feminine exterior and when the two pairs of male eyes finally rested upon the upon the them, they saw nothing but a tanned supermodel and a redheaded temptress. Hild's entire demeanor was playful lust. Ranma's was lazy flirtation. Both bouncers simply stared attention as the women captured their attention in its entirety, and the rest of the world was forgotten in their presence.

Hild took the lead, stepping just within first doorman's personal space with a sexy, lidded gaze. The bald headed bouncer was easily 180 centimeters tall and twice as wide as the woman before him, but her physical presence dominated the encounter. Ranma was more than happy to take a back seat to this particular meeting and used the opportunity to take mental notes as to her role model's handling of the guy. There was no conversation for literally the first thirty seconds as her presence was ingratiated upon the male until she favored him with the slightest edge of a smile. That was his invitation to finally speak.

"Nah... name?"

Hild glanced coyly at his partner before turning the warm gaze back on the first bouncer. The sudden sucking of his breath was heard, but it barely registered as the woman finally began to move her lips._ "Hild."_

She let her head loll to the right, indicating her partner's turn and their eyes reluctantly left the tanned woman for her shorter, but no less well endowed counterpart. To Ranma Saotome, this particular lesson was clear. Not only was it abundantly clear, but _amazing_. Hild's activities here were not about inducing fevered lust, though that was certainly a component of her mentor's actions. Its foremost priority was _control_- control induced through sheer presence alone_. _

_And she __ain't even usin' a battle aura for this…_ Ranma's analysis trailed off in that split second of realization as she realized just how similar the technique was to what she used regularly. It was confidence; an absolute, _unwavering_ confidence like the pigtailed girl had never seen before; even as she considered herself a pillar of confidence. With it, Ranma could manifest and shape Ki. Hild's confidence was a tangible, living thing that seemed to all but bend reality to her very whim. Lust was merely the flavor of the moment, and Ranma knew that the woman could have just as easily projected something else through that impenetrable wall of self assurance. Terror. Joy. Resolve. It wouldn't have mattered. These men would feel it because Hild _believed _they would feel it with unassailable certainty.

"Ran_-ma_," The redhead replied throatily, attempting to capture their attention in the same manner, and she did after a fashion. But that she knew- she could _feel_ -that her attempt was akin to a candle trying to share space with a lighthouse. The two bouncers basked in the glow of her attention as they appreciated all she had to offer, but that attention invariably wandered back to her partner as if they themselves were charmed snakes. It was a bittersweet defeat for the martial artist, who was forced to acknowledge the reality that she wasn't the best in this particular arena, nor would she be pulling any last minute retreats to execute an impossible comeback a few days later. The gulf between their respective skill levels was simply that vast and the only salve for Ranma's pride was the fact that the winner was not only considered a good friend, but a friend that had earned her complete and utter respect.

The first bouncer licked his very dry lips, taking only the absolute mini um amount of time necessary to scan the clipboard in hand and return his eyes to the impossibly beautiful creature before him. "Ya... You're on the list."

Hild smiled charitably for him. "Of course we are. Ranma?"

The redheaded girl fell into her white haired friend's wake with a lilting smile for the second bouncer, who was more than happy to pull the door open. A wall of bass suddenly perforated the air with the tinted glass door's opening, thumping in time and admitting the pair into a new atmosphere of haze, colored lights and overly loud music that did its best to pull at Ranma's attention as they weaved through the main hall and closer to what was obviously the club's interior. Hild turned back to her, continuing her nearly forgotten instruction now that they had gain entrance to the establishment.

"Once a seizure writ is issued, the Nidhogg utilizes the Ultimate Force to ensure that the demon assigned to the case will have the resources necessary to acquire the soul in question," The bass emanating from the main dance floor continued to try and override their conversation, but Hild's voice seemed to cut through the din unnaturally and Ranma hung on every word regardless. "Any potential barriers to that acquisition will be eliminated or circumvented, including position, power, physical barriers and, of course, silly lists that would otherwise bar access to an establishment such as this."

The scope of power that such a writ granted should have been enough to amaze the martial artist all by itself, but this teen wasn't exactly a stranger to power, nor had power ever been a major draw in her life. Nerima, in fact, had taught her that power could quite literally be tripped over in any way, shape and form to be wielded by the incompetent and undeserving. Hild on the other hand...

"They woulda just let you in, list or no..." Ranma all but mumbled to herself as she recalled the sheer presence Hild had projected at the entrance. That had been something to take notice of. No special techniques. No wishing swords. No instant power-ups. _Not even a shot of Ki._ She had done that through force of will alone, and a giant supercomputer rewriting reality paled in comparison.

The Daimakaichō picked Ranma's words out from ambient noise and paused, lifting her chin with a delicate finger until she had tilted the girl's gaze to hers. When exposed to a power that could quite literally rewrite reality, the girl had chosen to be impressed- even envious - by her ability alone. It was a priceless feeling that Hild savored as she cast a gentle, almost maternal smile down upon Ranma . "In time, child... In time. For now, we are here for a purpose ."

Ranma nodded firmly; a grin breaking out on her face as her white haired partner outlined the plan. "Our seizure writ goes live at 8pm . All that is required of you is to sit back and observe. ...or partake. As I mentioned, we are here to mix business and pleasure."

"Eh, partake?" It was quite possibly the first situation since the night began where Ranma Saotome suddenly found herself out of her element. Growing up on the road ensured social gatherings of any sort had been nonexistent, and the threat implicit from the club full of revelers around them was suddenly grasped with absolute clarity. There was dancing, drinking, close contact... The teen suddenly found herself feeling skittish. "Y'know, it's kinda stuffy in here... maybe I should wait out-"

"The room is alive with sin, Ranma-Chan," The Grand Demoness' attitude suddenly took on a more serious edge, her purple eyes glittering as she cut the martial artist's protest short. She swept her hand grandly across the mingling crowd. "Gluttony, debauchery, envy, wrath, pride, sloth and greed... I will not force these upon you, but your proximity to me will inevitably bring you into contact with them in quantities great and small . "

Hild hadn't meant the declaration as an ultimatum and she was more than willing to give Ranma the time , but the redhead had a rather simplistic logic tree when it came to obstacles, a decision process further simplified when pitted against one of the few people she could name as a friend in her life. While not quite as simplistic as a certain Amazon known to her, the Daimakaicho had inadvertently poised her continued association with the martial artist against the necessary evils of her position. Ranma's blue eyed gaze narrowed on her, and Hild cocked her head with little in the way of comprehension until Ranma snorted her defiance. The tanned demoness blinked and the face was gone, lapsing back into the lazy, flirtatious smile she had worn in; its owner pivoting on a high heeled foot to merge into the crowd of party goers at a lethargic, sexy gait.

"Well that was... _abrupt_," Hild murmured to herself as she watched the teen overcome her aversion to the scene through sheer force of will. There was no doubt in her mind that Ranma wasn't particularly enjoying herself, but that mattered little at the moment as the redhead had suddenly become quite busy becoming everyone's friend while Hild herself retraced the mental path that had led to this particular outcome. The end conclusion resulted in another secret smile, and she engaged the crowd, ensuring her path would intercept with Ranma. The teen's red mane ensured she stood out like a beacon, and Hild leaned in on the girl who was juggling the attentions of three men and another woman.

"One hour," Hild advised, whispering into her ear as she passed. From an outside perspective, the flitting, coy look she sent toward the others gave entirely the wrong impression. "Meet me by the red door in back."

Ranma simply giggled at the advisement, as if her message had contained some form of levity beyond the mere words spoken and turned back to her audience even as Hild passed out of earshot to conduct her own operations. In spite of the happy go lucky female mask Ranma Saotome wore as she wound her way through the crowd of clubbers, it was quite possibly one of the most arduous tasks she had ever voluntarily committed to. Using the dance floor to practice her redheaded seductress role wasn't so bad... At least for the first ten minutes. Dealing with the fallout from that particular role had all but blindsided the martial artist as she began fend off the males she had attracted like moths to a flame.

The attraction in and of itself wasn't so much the problem since capturing their attention was part and parcel to her goal. It was the underlying expectation that had completely caught her off guard, driven home as one of her dancers took to liberty of allowing his hands to slide up the curvature of her hips from behind, caress her side and brush along the flank of her right breast. He wasn't the first, nor the last. More than one of the men she had ensnared was bold enough to make purposeful contact with her posterior; a matter made worse by the limited number or responses available to deal with the trespassers. Under normal circumstances, she would have broken every last one of them. As it was...

Ranma's hand blurred into invisibility and one of her amorous wannabe-suitors jerked suddenly as his left hand inexplicably lost all muscle control centimeters from the ripe fruits of her derrière. The martial artist had to suppress a growl but pretended not to notice none the less, deciding that it was high time to extricate herself from the dance floor before the need to inflict substantial bodily harm on one of the men pursuing her person became a necessity.

It was a viscous cycle and Ranma was only now realizing it in full, mentally cursing as she sought passage through the crowd and the dilemma she had created for herself. She wasn't going to let Hild down, which meant staying in character, but that would only keep attracting the guys. In turn, she couldn't exactly beat them off with a stick either. _Sooner or later somebody's gonna notice 'em all mysteriously fallin' over around me, _she chuckled darkly to herself, then couldn't quite help but to frown as a new conclusion surfaced. She really had no other way to deal with the situation beyond resorting to physical violence, and that itself was mildly disturbing to the martial artist's introspective.

Hild had been absolutely correct. _Again._ The room was alive with sin and much as it was a bitter pill to swallow, Ranma was forced to admit that she was ill prepared for it._ Yeah, and whatdda I know?_ She berated herself and that blind spot that was coming more and more into focus with each passing minute. _All I got are some fiancees chasing me, and that ain't nothin' like this..._

Her eyes caught a darkened corner and a well dressed man lounging at one of the candle lit tables. Tan slacks, black shirt with a loosened tie and two barely dressed women wrapped around him. Their shimmering skirts were little more than strips of fabric; one sporting a red bikini top while the other a light blue silk top that barely covered the essentials.

_Not that I'm one to talk at the moment, _Ranma admitted as one of the women caressed him in the same manner that her own men had attempted on the dance floor, while the other tipped a martini up to his lips to be sipped. Their activities were well beyond her experience however. Her eyes drifted across several similar scenes that were studied and discarded until her retreat across the main floor was brought to a halt by the club's central bar.

Ranma found a seat with an already weary breath, taking in all the different colored liqueurs until her absent minded study was interrupt a minute later by the bar keep. A long stemmed glass was pushed up to her by the smiling man behind the counter. She looked at it, then the bartender with a satisfied look guaranteed to throw anybody watching off the fact that she didn't have a clue as to why she was receiving the drink in the first place.

"From an admirer," Her server's gaze lingered for a bit with the advice, his gaze drifting downward discretely before his work pulled him away. Ranma wanted to scowl at the fact that she had already picked up _another_ admirer, but took the golden-hued drink between her fingers, studying it. Wanting to scowl and actually doing so did not translate into the same things, however, and the teen couldn't help but to chuckled slightly. Truth be told, receiving free eats from suckers was well worn ground in her life, even if tonight's free stuff was beginning to err on the exotic side.

_Sure as hell ain't sake,_ she decided, replacing the delicate glass back onto the bar-top as her interest in it faded._ Champagne maybe..._?

She pushed the drink away with a single finger and returned to her contemplation. One hour had seemed like a cake-walk when she had first pranced into the crowd. Now she had forty minutes left on the clock and was having doubts as to whether she would survive the next ten without falling back on physical violence._ I can do it,_ she reassured herself. _Not gonna let Hild-San down. Not going to-_

A new glass slid into view. Ranma eyed its long, cylindrical form factor and the blue liquid within. The small umbrella sticking out from the top was especially gay in her opinion, but she turned her eyes on its purveyor regardless. The bartender smiled apologetically, which didn't stop him from admiring the view she provided yet again. "Another admirer, Miss."

Looking was fine. He could look all day long. With the mood she was in, however, attempts at touching might separate him from his hand, though she smiled warmly regardless. He stoled another glance at her before getting back to his rounds, leaving Ranma to her thoughts once more. _What would Hild do right now?_ She wondered silently, scanning the crowd and the dance floor beyond. Colored lights swept the room while excessively loud music filled the space. More than one couple danced in close- _very close_ -proximity to one another. Dancing in and of itself was not foreign to her... The writhing, highly physical contact was, and she shook her head sympathetically. _Would be married in a heart beat if I did that ta any of the girls..._

The slightest giggle found its way past her lips with the analysis, and here, it all seemed common place. _Maybe it was just Nerima that was up tight? Not like she didn't warn me_, Ranma chided herself, still wondering what she was going to do about it all until another glass joined the pair already awaiting her attention. This time, the bartender had an amused look for her, simply nodding before being about his business. This particular drink featured a wide mouthed glass with pinkish alcohol. Inset was a piece of lime, while the lip of the glass was lined with... Ranma put a finger to the crystalline coating, tasting a dab. _Salt?_ The redhead pushed the drink aside to join the others, not exactly liking the mental taste that salt and alcohol would create on her tongue.

Ranma rejoined her question as the drink was forgotten, coming to the unsurprising conclusion that, in the same situation, Hild would probably be living it up. _Probably already is anyway_, she smirked, scanning the crowed for her patron's white mane of hair. Hild-San was fearless. She was powerful. She was smart. _Probably knows martial arts, too,_ Ranma guessed, now that she thought about it. The need to be able to kick ass was undoubtedly pretty high on the job description.

Whether the redhead realized it or not, the Daimakaichō had become a role model._ Her_ role model. The _first _and _only_ that Ranma had ever known in the whole of his and her seventeen years beyond the rise and fall of her father from that position, and any action she would take in this club now would inevitably be filtered through that lens.

By the time the martial artist's attention returned to the bar, two more drinks had joined the others: one orange-ish and the other one a revolting lime green in hue. The orange one had a cherry floating within its volume._ Chick drinks_, Ranma unceremoniously categorized the offerings and commenced to ignoring them as she had the others... or rather tried. Five minutes hadn't passed before the next wave of alcohol was served up and within minutes of that, Ranma was looking at no less than eight glasses of various shapes and content.

"Oh for cryin' out loud." For the first time since her arrival, Ranma's control actually slipped and she stared at the menagerie of multi-colored vessels that had found their way over to her section of the bar. Her eyes flicked up just in time to find the barkeep ready to deposit another one, only to be stopped by a subtle, less cheery shake of her head. He blinked a bit of surprise at her inexplicably dour mood, but shrugged, returning whence he came; alcoholic beverage in hand. Ranma's attention turned back to the drinks and the dilemma inherently present in each and every one of them.

_Maybe if I drink one, the idiot who's sending them will just stop tryin' to guess_, She grumbled and began picking through the lesser of the evils. Five of the eight were immediately disqualified as being too girlie to even touch. Their fruity colours were simply too offensive to her more masculine sensibilities to even think about drinking. Ranma made quick work of the remaining contestants, discarding the champagne, while remaining too uncertain about the frothy lager next to it to experiment. What remained was an innocuous shot glass filled with a clear liquid, and she picked it up to give it a tentative sniff.

_Sake._ There was no doubt about it, which made it the proverbial evil she knew. Even better, it had been delivered in an obnoxiously small quantity that all but assured her that she wouldn't find herself completely blitzed five minutes from now. Ranma gave a moment of pause to curse the Furikan drama club for that particular memory before downing the drink in a single gulp. The harsh glaze of fermented rice that she had braced for never truly materialized on her taste buds. It was still sake, just that it was much cleaner than the crap forced down her throat by Kuno back when. _Almost kinda fruity,_ Ranma decided with the swallow, trying to analyze the drink that wasn't nearly as bad as she had been-

"Um, eh, excuse me... Miss?"

The redhead's dainty grip on the shot glass increased fractionally, sending a hairline crack halfway from the lip to the base before regaining control of her temper. Ranma fixed her sex-bomb countenance for the voice at her back and turned away from the bar to find the furthest thing from the playboy stereotype she had been expecting. He wasn't exactly older for starters. Certainly the salary man standing before her now was older than she was- twenty something unless she missed her guess -but every piece of body language emoted that of inexperience for the setting they both now found themselves in. His dark hair and tie had already been casualties of the night; both disheveled in a way that only augmented the pathetic and helpless aura he radiated.

Ranma snorted mentally at their similar positions, though she had the unfair advantage of having a stunning female body to hide behind and thus used it to her advantage. The martial artist looked him up and down with a marginal interest, inciting him to fidget. All in all, it was kind of fun to be on the giving end for a change, and she held a silent gaze on him before turning a faintly amused smile on him.

_"Yes?"_

She held the ending syllable of her single word question for a fraction longer than necessary, causing it to very nearly purr from her lips, which in turn caused the stranger to gulp uncomfortably. After another bout of stuttering, the young man was finally able to connect brain to mouth in order to form at least a partially coherent thought. "Ah, the drink... that you, eh, drank... is, um..."

"_You _sent me all of this?" Ranma arched an eyebrow as her irritation began to simmer now that it had a clear outlet.

"N-No, just the sake," he shook his head rapidly and the axe head of Ranma's displeasure halted its downward stroke. "Didn't want to bother you... Just my superiors... It was a challenge and..."

Ranma blinked with the halting explanation, then took a discreet glance at the table across the club from where he had originated. Several other men around were drinking at it, their business attire having been reduced to business casual through the night's activities. Also completely obvious was the fact that they were_ watching._ Her eyes flicked back to the young man, whose own eyes had settled to the floor. "It's a joke..." The guy mumbled, then jerked his head up with a panicked expression. "Not you! I mean the guys! They sent me over to..."

_Damn right it's a joke,_ Ranma thought blandly to herself and _at_ herself. She had seen this particular situation way too many times before and the sad, horribly ironic part about it was that her male aspect took the starring role concerning awkward situations with females and ill thought comments concerning them. Watching it actually happen from an external perspective to some complete stranger was like some freakish out of body experience- An uncomfortably freakish experience, since it already hit so close to home. The martial artist shook the deja-vu off and focused instead on the more relevant topic:_ What would Hild do in this sorta situation?_

The salary man mumbled an apology and was just starting to turn away when the redhead's hand flashed out, grabbing him gently by the wrist. His eyes widened even as she pulled him inexorably back to face her. If there was one thing that Ranma didn't like about the situation, it was that she had seen this exact set of circumstances before; led into making a fool of himself by other people in front of the opposite sex. The situation here was equally clear- This chump's co-workers had thrown him under the bus, expecting him to come over, get shot down by the redheaded hottie, then laugh his failure up when he got back. Ranma knew _exactly_ what Hild would do in this sort of situation, and it aligned with Ranma's sense of poetic justice perfectly.

She'd make him _a Legend._

She favored him with a sexy smirk and crossed her legs on the bar stool, revealing their long, slender perfection through the qipao's slit. The salary man's eyes drifted down, as if the local gravity around Ranma's person had doubled. It took him a full minute to realize just how obvious he was being. His head snapped up, his face pink with embarrassment. Amazingly enough, he still found the redhead quite amused. "I'm sorry! I didn't- It's! You're-!"

A single finger gently found his lips, halting his stammering. She leaned forward a bit to violate his personal space. "If I didn't want to be looked at, I wouldn't have worn it."

...Which was actually the truth in more instances than just this night was concerned, but that didn't help the young man's suddenly dry mouth. "I'm, ah... I'm... um... Hamasaki Toshido. Uh, call me Toshi."

"To-_shi,_" Ranma murmured as if the name held a more intimate connotation than actually implied. She motioned back to the bar and the other drinks. "I liked yours the best."

"Yu... Yumewa Masayume," Toshi's pulse quickened with lazy blue eyed gaze she continued to drink him in, and he struggled to make conversation. "It's... it's a Junmai Daiginjo-Shu type. Would you... do you want...?"

A lethargic shake of her head ended the query as quickly as it had been broached, though truth be told, the drink itself hadn't been too bad. _Probably paid an arm and a leg for it in a place like this,_ she quipped from the back of her mind as she considered the young man's fate. Another glass wouldn't exactly be unwelcome, but the warmth from the first was already making its rounds through her system.

It helped marginally reduce the inhibitions involved in her next decision.

"Maybe later," She let her finger run along the glass rim slowly before returning to him. Over his shoulder, she could see his former table and every occupant hanging on their interaction. Mischief radiated from within; her victim's fate decided. "For now, I think we should _dance_."

"D-Dance?"

No sooner had the word began to form on his lips did the red head stand up, now well within his personal space and all but invited him to examine certain perky parts of her anatomy through the close proximity alone. That particular activity was preempted by the acquisition of his hand within hers, and Toshi suddenly found himself turned around and led toward the dance floor. Not that he was all that resistant to begin with- and even if he had -was already too taken by what was visible in front of him; from entrancing roll of her strut, to the rest of her figure that just wouldn't quit. Not everything was visible through that strapless qipao of hers, but it damn near might as well have been, and he was helpless but to follow the beauty into the crowd.

Ranma, on the other hand, was less concerned about the guy she was dragging onto the dance floor and more concerned with what she was going to _do_ with him. Dance, certainly, but her impromptu decision was bereft of critical details, and she began to scan the dancing crowd around her for examples in just how to execute her plan. One thing that became immediately obvious was that the dance floor activities were in no way connected to her primary arena of experience: Anything Goes Ballroom Dancing. These people were engaged in activities far more intimate in nature, with close contact being all but essential. Her blue eyes flicked over several prominent examples of couples- sometimes threesomes -writhing body to body, hands wandering freely across one another's anatomy with little apparent want or care for personal space.

_Personal space, not a problem_, the redhead determined as she led her prey onto the dance floor. _Guys copin' a feel? Problem._

No matter how much fun it was to make people faint from blood loss, it created a dilemma in Ranma's mind: Personal contact with another guy- regardless of the body she now wore -wasn't exactly high on her list of priorities for the night. Even the very thought of such activities made her squirm mentally as her intellect attempted to reconcile her now ill-advised course of action against a complete inability to admit defeat. _Hild would do it_, she acknowledged reluctantly, though that alone did little to steel her resolve in regards to actually letting another guy hang all over her. _Hild could do it,_ the thought echoed once more with a slightly different twist, inciting a deeper vein of competitiveness that was a component part of her psyche. Unseen by her new companion, Ranma's jaw clenched as she set to the task. There was still no chance in hell she'd let the guy get all grabby, but she could control _what_ he touched.

_I can do this,_ the redhead decided with a deep mental breath as the plan formed, then tossed a flirty glance back at her companion. "Just enjoy the ride, stud."

The line was pure cheese in her opinion, but it had the desired affect. Toshi simply nodded like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. That alone helped shore up Ranma's confidence for the next part, especially now that his compliance was all but guaranteed. Emboldened, she picked out an example of one of the more notable women on the dance floor; a Japanese woman with golden blond hair, expert makeup and a revealing black leather mini much like the one Hild had bought herself several weeks back. The makeup made it hard to tell exactly how old the woman was, but Ranma was betting not much older than herself. Her movements, however, spoke of considerably experience in her chosen arena, while the guy she danced with had free reign of her body.

Ranma mentally blanched as the blonde's older, balding partner slipped his hand across her right breast to be fondled, then moved on to wander the rest of her anatomy. It was apparently fine with her since her ruby red lips only smiled with his efforts and encouraged him further by continuing to shimmy along his body. _Not a goddamn chance,_ the martial artist frowned through the warm blur of sake, though decided a little physical contact wasn't out of the question; especially when it was rationalized by the fact that she had done worse for far less in a fight.

Toshi's hands locked into hers and Ranma began her own dance, borrowing moves from the blond while incorporating a mixture of Anything Goes Ballroom that in turn bled into portions of other arts. The result was not simply graceful, but unintentionally sensual though that fact was largely lost on the redhead who was more concerned with keeping the salary man's hands out of trouble. Not that they proved to be much in the first place, as her partner was willingly guided through her movements like a puppet, neither wanting to unlock his hands from hers or caring to free himself. He was- as instructed -along for the ride and quite content in complying in the fullest even if his hands never made contact with anything important; another illusion built into the dance Ranma was executing on their behalf. It would have taken a bit more cognitive effort on his part to realize the narrow area they travelled, cognitive ability that had long since fled in deference to his libido. It didn't help that the redheaded temptress was shorter than him, which also afforded Toshi an excellent view of the erotic vision dancing with him; from the clear valley down her strapless charms to the bare, perfect leg that slipped out from hiding as she mimicked the other woman's movements.

With her confidence sufficiently stoked, Ranma shifted the pattern of her movements to bring Toshi's table of associates into view and was happy to see them gaping, already knowing what they were witnessing: the sight of their junior co-worker being used as some insatiable seductress' toy in what appeared to be a very intimate fashion. She stared up at salary man's glazed look, noting the trickle of blood seeping from his nose with satisfaction. She looked back at the table, ensuring she had their direct eye contact with a sexy, secret smile.

At least three of them choked on their beers outright.

_And my job here is done_, Ranma mentally cackled, and was about to cast off her boneless prop when she noticed something over the shoulder of the blond she had been sponging dance moves off of: a struggle. Two men, one woman toward the back of the club, moving through the shadows toward… _The red door,_ she realized, devoting less attention to her movement and more to the girl all but being dragged out of sight. The fact that the dragging had been done by two suits many times larger than the girl grated against Ranma's sensibilities, nor had it gone unnoticed that the crowd in that area of the club had to have seen the flailing girl, but chose to do nothing. That aspect of the public abduction alone only incensed Ranma, and she abandoned the dance completely as the pieces of a hastily assembled course of action began to congeal.

"Ain't happenin'," She muttered, only to have Toshi adopt a bewildered expression as his date broke from their dance. One hand had been set free, but the other was still firmly in her grip and now he found himself being led once more across the dance floor toward the opposite side of the club.

Half a room away, Toshi's coworkers watched in befuddled awe as their junior was willingly led off the dance floor to the other side of the room. The dance alone had inspired their libidos to new heights and every one of them could only feel cold jealousy that the most inexperience member of their business unit had been chosen to be the plaything of one of the hottest women in the club. The only question now was where was she taking their coworker? It was getting hard to see through the crowd and-

_"The red room!"_

One of the salary men hissed and the others instantly gagged on their own drinks, while a manager bolted upright from his chair to get a better view of the impossible occurrence. Their butterfly's bright red hair was impossible to miss as she led Toshi past the bar on a course that would intersect with the only point of interest in that corner of the bar.

The manager began to gibber.

Nor was he the only one. Everybody had been here before. The Kaijin Karasu was one of their boss's favorite hangouts, and everybody knew that it catered to those with _eclectic _tastes. Moreover, they all knew about the Red Room. Without connections, they would more than likely never see the inside of it themselves. However the legends were well known, legends that included wild tales of vice, debauchery, and women that would do anything all night long. Visions of trained courtesans and uninhibited prostitutes danced through in their minds eye as they watched the redhead guide their junior partner to the gates of nirvana.

It just was _not_ fair.

Nor did they realize just how unfair it was about to become.

Even as they cursed their co-worker and prayed for a sudden and highly improbable mind-body switch to occur, their division manager, Genko Tademei sat at the head of the table with a satisfied look. Like the others around him, he too wished for that sudden reversal of fortunes or that the redhead had favored his own lager instead of the Hamasaki kid- What red blooded male wouldn't? Regardless, any man that could hold the attentions of a young lady like that _and_ convince to her to escort him back to the Red Room was fast track management material. Not only that, but Toshi's catch was hardly the average woman of the night. She was a lady of means if his eye was any judge. The dress hadn't come from some corner boutique and the jewelry that adorned her most definitely had not. Money was obviously not an issue for the woman, and she certainly wasn't working the floor. If Hamasaki could attract that sort of clientele in his personal life, by God he'd see him as an assistant division manager by Monday.

_If there's anything left by the time she's done with him,_ Genko smirked, taking another drought from his pint of beer.

Neither Toshi or his Division Manager could know just how prophetic that thought would become as Ranma zeroed on the red door and the robust bouncer guarding it. By the time her gait had caught the attention of the door's attendant, the redhead had recovered her composure and was once again wearing her bombshell demeanor as she closed on her target. The subtle sway of her movements attracted his eye like so many other men that night, and an appreciative smile crossed his face. She returned his smile with her own lethargic smirk, determined to try it Hild's way first. Toshi was completely forgotten in that moment and she pooled her own confidence, wrapping herself within it as if it were physical clothing. She came to a stop before her substantially taller victim and played her part for all that it was worth.

"Can I come in?" She asked breathy, already fixing the outcome in her mind's eye._ Of course I can,_ Ranma smirked mentally._ I'm hot and you're just another sucker._

She held his eyes in her own, then endured his gaze wandering away to behold that which Jusenkyo had bestowed. Fortunately, Ranma had nearly two years of experience in putting it to good use and sighed dramatically, ensuring her prominent chest strained against the strapless top she wore. The bouncer licked his lips and reluctantly pulled his eyes back to her own.

"Ah, yeah. Sure you can," The bearded guard nod enthusiastically, then frowned, looking over her shoulder. "But he can't."

Ranma glanced back over her shoulder, suddenly reminded of her human prop. She considered his stunned look at the exclusion and was about to cast him off like the living prop he was in order to achieve the necessary access when another course of action wound its way through her thoughts. Telling Toshi to take a hike would make it _too_ easy. Getting him in past this guy using Hild's confidence technique? That would be a_ real_ win.

"But he's a lot of fun," Ranma countered with her new goal in mind, holding the bouncer with her gaze as if he was her sole focus. The reality wasn't too far off as she continued feeding her confidence like a bonfire while trying to reverse engineer Hild's technique for herself. It wasn't just about looking sexy and reducing somebody to stupor, it was about them_ feeling_ she was right and allowing no other outcome to take place through sheer will alone. Ranma willed the outcome to take place and the guard licked his lips, wandering her curves appreciatively before shaking his head.

"I'm lots of fun too." He smirked causing the redhead's cheek to twitch. "Maybe after my shift we can..."

The martial artists glacial blue eyes narrowed on the bouncer as her temper began to simmer with the innuendo. "No. you really _want_ to let me and Toshi here through."

"Nah," Her mark shook with a grin, folding his arms. "The girlie man can take a hike. You and me, on the other hand can-"

Ranma's hand snapped out, grabbing the guards left wrist and twisted it outward as her displeasure manifested itself in full. The guard squawked in pain, then fell to his knees as the joints in his left arm were forced to their stops. Muscle and ligaments began to burn like fire from the strain. A beefy hand clawed at the feather light one holding him in painful submission, but failed to dislodge it or impress the girl in any way.

"I ain't got time for this." She shook her head as if the man were little more than a bug beneath her notice now. She glanced back to her companion. "Toshi, door."

The salary man found himself staring in shock at his escort, his incredulous glance alternating between the redheaded goddess and the club bouncer wheezing painfully on his knees. The man several times her size began to beat at her arm, prompting her to merely arch a doubtful eyebrow at his efforts. The ineffectual display made his choice easy, and Toshi hastened to open the door for the diminutive beauty. The door was open in a matter of second, but in those few seconds it took him to return his attention to the girl, he now found the guard slumped over unconscious.

"Let's go." Ranma was already moving around him through the opening he had created, and while he could have refused the invitation in theory, the thought hadn't even entered his mind. Toshi followed her into a much more subdued atmosphere and closed the door behind him, muffling the harder edges of the beats beyond to a mere pulsing throb. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the softer lighting. When it did, he found... _bodies_. The room was made up of a series of sunken couches surrounding individual tables. Some of the tables had food on them. Some of them had drink. Occasionally his eyes wandered across a table with a female dancer sans clothing undulating and twisting in highly suggestive ways. The bodies themselves were invariably partaking of some form of entertainment, be it the food, drinks, dancers or themselves. Any couch not already preoccupied by sustenance or a swaying body invariably bore a couple or threesome intimately entwined in various states of undress.

Toshi gulped as he realized just what was happening around him and the implications of being in the same room with the woman that had brought him here. His nose began to trickle blood once more.

On the other hand, the salary man couldn't have known that his redheaded temptress was experiencing a similar bout of shock as she let her eyes drift across the room, exposing them and her sensibilities to more naked flesh in purposely compromising situations than she had ever stumbled across in her _entire life_. Sure, there were the bath house battles and Shampoo's own attempts to ply herself to his person, but this was so far beyond that or the dance floor that it was quite literally stunning. It took her several moments and a pair of mental reboots to snap out of her own stupor. It hardly helped that her eyes invariably fell on flesh in one form or another even after the fact, where they tended to linger in hedonistic fascination much to her annoyance of other parts of her psyche. Ranma shook her head clear once more to focus on the task at hand.

"Damn right the place is alive with sin," Ranma muttered Hild's own words and resumed her advanced deeper into the room while studiously ignoring the debauchery around her. Her passing drew only mild interest as she was dressed for the part, which in turn excused Toshi's own presence. Regardless, the girl nor her captors were nowhere to be found, which only left the a connecting hallway and a number of doors as the only possible avenues of retreat. Her thoroughly distracted date followed at a reluctant pace, joining the redhead at the mouth of the hallway where she waited, contemplating a series of black doors- five on the right, six on the left and a single red one at the corridor's end. The salary man looked down the hallway, then back to his escort with barely a clue as to what was about to happen to him. With any luck, it was going to be very, _very_ memorable.

"Ah, so what now?"

Ranma cocked her head, trying to decide her own course of action that differed decisively from Toshi's ideal. "If you were a kidnapped girl in a den of Yakuza, where would they stash you?"

"Ah..." Toshi blinked. It wasn't quite the question he was expecting, but he processed a response in spite of the growing feeling of dread in his stomach. "Uh, the red one?"

"That's what I was thinkin' too," She nodded and started down the hall. Gone was the sexy bombshell gait Ranma had worn for much of the night; discarded much like the shimmering black high heels that were easily slipped out of as they passed the rows of black doors. The young man watched them tumble deliberately off her feet and paused for a moment, bending down to scoop the pair up even as she continued her advance.

"Um, Miss Ranma, your heels-" He proffered them helpfully, only to be overridden as if he hadn't even been heard.

"We could go for subtlety here, I guess," Ranma mulled over her options while noting the concentration of ki on the other side of the door. Unlike the club to her back, it was saturated with negative emotions which all but assured her she was in the right place. She threw a cocky grin back at him. "Personally, I'm all out of subtlety for the night."

His mouth was just opening to form a reply when the same shapely leg he had admired at the bar flashed out, its heel impacting to the right of the handle and transmitting overwhelming force into its frame. The lock- if there had been one to begin with -buckled with the handle and forced the door wide in a shower of splintered wood that nearly caused the structure to leave its hinges entirely. Somehow it managed to maintain its integrity, but no longer served as an impediment to her advance or the activities within.

"Looks like you were right, Toshi," Ranma sniffed with sarcastic contempt as she surveyed the scene. Like the lounge she had just departed, this room was dominated by a voluminous cushioned sofa that held exactly one occupant: A middle aged man with overly greased hair slicked back into a tail, open buttoned pink dress shirt and black slacks. The cigarette in his mouth hung off his lip in a way that only assured the martial artist her entry had been completely unexpected. Next to him stood two more suits, these dressed something closer to business casual in a black on white shirt-slack combination and black sun glasses in spite of the complete absence of sun.

There was a table in front of the couch itself and that was the where the girl Ranma had seen struggling ten minutes ago was residing; if one could properly term being held down cheek-to-table by another suit three times her mass a pleasant space to reside. His partner shared the same stunned look as his compatriots, but unlike the others had his belt dangling and pants unzipped, giving Ranma a pretty good idea of what was about to happen.

The man lounging upon the couch adjusted the cigarette in his mouth and stared at the very pleasant sight before him, even if her method of entry left something to be desired. A smirk began to crawl across the five o'clock shadow that inhabited his face. "Entertainment?"

"Of sorts." Ranma shrugged nonchalantly. "You the boss?"

"Of sorts," He returned lethargically, propping himself back into a sitting position, noting her partner only in passing as her presence dominated the room. "And why would a pretty flower such as yourself want to know that?"

"No reason, really," The redhead's smile took on a pernicious edge. "Just wanna know who to save for last."

* * *

"A little more to the left," A pair of sturdy hands moved left across the tanned skin of Hild's shoulder blades, and after a moment managed to illicit a supremely relaxed smile as one of the many males around her vying for her attention plied his hands to her back. She ignored the rest for a moment and leaned back into the face of her masseur with a content, if somewhat wanton look. "You do realize that if you keep this up, I might have you spirited away."

"A fate worse than death, I'm sure," The goateed gentleman in black business suit returned her smile wanly as his fingers continued to knead her skin, then pressed down her back and began to threaten the integrity of the cinch that held her jacket in check and thus clothing the Daimakaichō.

"I'm sure," Hild agreed, smirking back at their shared humor; if not for the same reason he assumed. Another man, this one cleanly cut and sporting all the trappings of wealth jockeyed for a position beside her at the bar while making every effort to ensure he was seen by the mistress occupying the attentions of so many men. Purple eyes consumed him, his platinum rings, gold watch and dark blue silk vest lazily, and he postured further now that her attention was upon him.

"I, on the other hand, would supply you with an entire army of servants," The newcomer boasted with a self confident smile, then bowed with flourish. "Mashimata Hidiki, at your service."

The man massaging Hild simply snorted softly while Hild lolled with palatable boredom before taking to dismantle his ego. "Servants I have in abundance, _mister _Hidiki. Likewise, after so many zeroes money begins to bore me." She paused, as if to drive her conversational tedium home. "At least Hanada-san here plies his very fingers to my back. What can a man of such limited stature as yourself possible offer me?"

Mashimata produced a dry gulp as any reply he had formulated to impress the woman turned to ash in his mouth. All eyes were now on him expectantly. How would he impress this woman when their own ranks had failed to do so? "I can... I.. that is... eh..."

The Daimakaichō favored him with a falsely sympathetic look and held her empty left hand out, where a fluted crystal glass of golden champagne was gently placed within her grasp. She took a sip of the bubbly liquid and waited patiently.

"I can..." the business man reached for something to impress the ethereal beauty before him; something to sway her. Only one thing entered his mind. "I can massage your feet?"

Hild blinked, as if the notion hadn't occurred to her either. "That's not a bad idea."

Hidiki nodded eagerly and fell to his knees. While his ego had indeed taken a hit, the perfection that represented the tanned legs was some measure of salve to that end. His eyes traced their every curve until they disappeared into the high hemline of miniskirt she wore. She shifted positions on the bar stool she sat upon, revealing a fraction more of her thighs before they disappeared into the minimal shadows of the mini. The business man took another dry gulp and slid the sparkling black stilettos off before taking her feet in hand. Thumbs and pressure were applied moments later, causing a contented sigh from above.

"Very nice," She crooned, leaning further back into the warm body behind her now that her feet were receiving aid. "Perhaps I misjudged you, Mister Hidiki."

"Of course," His ego returned with the measure of approval. "I have many other talents too."

"Indeed?" The mistress of hell noted with false curiosity, then allowed a saucy smile to slip. "Might they involve your tongue as well?"

"I have been known to employ it on occasion," The man kneeling before her leered back as she took another sip of her champagne.

"Excellent," Hild approved, her face alight with malignant humor. "My toes will appreciate your efforts after a full night in heels."

The businessman's mouth opened, then snapped shut as he processed the likely meaning of her statement before making another pass at the anatomy vastly different from the one he was expecting to service. "Your... toes?"

"Yes, my toes." The white haired temptress confirmed, focusing upon him with dark intensity. "Suckle them."

The man's cheek twitched. "You're... You're kidding."

The Daimakaicho's face still held an amused look, but one look into her lavender eyes was all it took to determine any trace of humor had drained completely away. "Do not keep me waiting, Hidiki-san."

It took all the willpower he could muster to tear his eyes away from her all consuming gaze, and then even more to openly defy her. Even as the words left his throat, the foreboding dread emanating from her person made him want to curl up at her feet and beg for forgiveness. He managed, however, stuttering in weak defiance as he began to regain his footing. "N...No. I'm a chairman of Sumono Industries! Hell no!"

"Funny you should mention that," The grin slipped wider and she produced a single nod to one of the men standing in attendance. A 9mm chrome plated automatic etched with gold chaser dragons curling down the slide found its way to the side of Mashimata Hidiki's forehead, whereupon he froze in horror with the hard click of the pistol in single action mode. Hild's gaze was now once again locked with that of the now pale businessman's, sadistic mirth filling his view. "Hell, Hidiki-san, would like to have her toes suckled."

Cold steel pressed up against the businessman's temple, yet the only thing he could see was this woman's cold, pitiless eyes. Hidiki was a negotiator himself and he knew there was nothing in that lavender gaze that would spare him if he didn't partake of the indignity she offered. The director clenched his jaw and prepared for the humiliation; her toes wiggling as if to invite him lower. If he could do this and get out of this God forsaken club alive, it would be-

_**CRAaaSH!**_

Hild's gaze snapped up as the far end of the club- the red room specifically -exploded with activity. The red doors themselves were violently breached before her very eyes and a well dressed bouncer ejected in an uncontrolled tumble. The crowd broke, panicking as the club's muscle rolled to an unconscious halt on the dance floor, sending patrons scurrying for the exit even as another bouncer tumbled through the door. This time he was accompanied by the patrons from within, who now sought a screaming exit alongside the others. The Daimakaichō cocked her head curiously at the sudden bout of chaos, then consulted the Nidhogg's chronometer.

"Ten minutes early," She shrugged, then pushed off the business man's face with her left foot to clear the way. Hidiki went down with a tumble and the mistress of hell slid back into her own black stilettos as she stood up, departing from her entourage with but a glance to spare for them. "I would not advise being here whence the police arrive."

The men and women in attendance quickly scattered with the advisement, leaving Hild to navigate the hastily departing crowds. The music had been cut and with it the dull thumps of bass. Another crash was heard amongst the panicked chitter of the fleeing masses, followed by the crunch of something quite breakable. Body number three tumbled out from the red room even as she reached for the door, and Hild smiled at the unconscious man now lying at her feet before stepping over the victim and into the back room itself. Her smile only grew at the sight that greeted her upon entry.

Hild's eyes tracked a meaty fist as it swung wide, attempting to corral its redheaded opponent with a left cross that seemed entirely too slow to even of having the possibility of hitting its target. Her prediction proved accurate as the girl he was facing flowed under it like liquid mercury and took a blurring jab at his open left flank. It may have only looked like one strike, but six ribs snapped on contact, destroying the bouncer's ability to inhale any meaningful volume of oxygen and doubling him so that his face now resided at her height. The spinning round house it gathered served to destroy any form of consciousness, and victim number four was sent flying over a luxurious couch and through a layer of drywall.

Ranma completed her spin just in time to catch her next opponent's punch, blunting the blow and forcing the wrist inward with a sharp crack. The elbow was next as she drew him further into her combination, snapping it as well, then popping the joint of his left shoulder. The kneecap was next, and Hild had to suppress a giggle with every flinch of agonizing pain that flashed across the wide man's face; finally ending with the kneecap and a twitching fetal position on the plush carpet. In all, her charge faced four opponents, all of which were taller than the petite redhead and out-massed her by at least two hundred kilos, but not one of them would touch her unless it was the martial artist engaging them in some manner. The fifth dropped less than ten seconds after the fourth, this particular hired muscle taken out by a particular grandiose hand-stand suplex maneuver that drove his head through a solid wood table, but could have easily broken his neck if she had desired to.

The sixth moved to grab her, only to be flipped end over end for his trouble, crashing hard into the floor in spite of its plush cushioning. The suit lay inert for a moment before recovering his senses to find a smiling redhead waiting overhead. He made a scrambling grab at her and Ranma allowed him just enough time for him to regain his footing before taking the outstretched hand and sending him on another cartwheeling tumble. Even as the process began anew, the his boss stepped out of the hallway having followed the brawl into the main antechamber. He smoothed out his pink dress shirt and withdrew another cigarette from the breast pocket and set it alight with the snap of a match. The mob boss took a long drag of the cigarette as he watched the melee in progress, threw it to the side and withdrew a long barreled .45 caliber revolver from the small of his back to level off on the redhead.

Hild watched with a frown as his finger pulled down on the trigger and the weapon bucked in his hand, unleashing its ordinance in a smallish plume of fire even as the martial artist recovered from her third throw and blurred around directly into the shot. The grand demoness' eyes widened at the potentially fatal outcome and began to gather power around her, the room darkening even as time slowed to her bidding. Through the blur, she watched Ranma punch directly into the line of fire, extending a single index finger out to intercept the hollow point round directly. Hild allowed a self satisfied smirk as she realized what was about to happen.

Her concern wasn't warranted after all.

Ranma's finger knifed through the open air in real time, and the subsonic round suddenly exploded in a violent pop, accompanied by a plume of dust seemingly erupting from nowhere. The mob boss only had enough time to stare in wonder before the red headed dervish was on him with considerably more speed and violence than his henchmen. Her driving follow-through broke the middle aged man's sternum outright while her other hand deflected the firearm's aim away to prevent any further mischief. Two kneecaps collapsed before the nova of pain in his chest was even realized, while a final palm strike to his falling chin served to keep him upright for only a moment longer before the bloodied man fell to the carpet.

_Clap. Clap. Clap._

Ranma glanced up from the wheezing man crumpled at her feet to Hild, who was stepping away from her station by the door while scanning the chaos that had been wrought upon the back room. A smile broke the serious expression of Ranma's face as she considered the tan woman and her arrival, as if she hadn't just kicked the yakuza bosses handpicked muscle. "Heya, Hild-san."

The aforementioned Hild-san affected an exaggerated sigh as she continued to survey the property damage. "And you didn't even see fit to invite me to this party of yours."

"Nah, not gonna bother you for the trash," Hild chuckled with the humorous comment, and the redhead motioned to the man at her feet; his pink shirt now stained with dark splotches of blood. "This the one?"

Even as Ranma asked, his hand trembled for the revolver just inches beyond its grasp. Ranma watched with an arched eyebrow, even as the boss glanced back up at her and redoubled his efforts. The redhead shrugged and drove her heel into his wrist. It snapped immediately, inciting a new squeal of pain and effectively ended any further attempts to acquire the firearm.

"Indeed it is," The Daimakaichō studied the man contemptuously, kneeling down to his height for a better view. "You have been a naughty little man, Ozawa-san."

The yakuza boss' terrified gaze snapped from the smirking redhead to the new arrival. His next words came out as an ineffectual wheeze. "Who... who the hell are you people!"

"Names aren't important here," The white haired demoness simply shook her head, smiling charitably down on the man even as he attempted to shuffle away from her. "What _is_ important is that you broke your contract with us."

"Broke? I didn't..." his voice trailed off for a moment, then his eyes suddenly got wider. "No... Not you! I didn't break yours!"

"Ah, to the contrary," Hild tisked. "Page two hundred and three, section five, article eight, part two specifically states that interference with any infernal agents or their aligned forces constitutes grounds for breach of contract." Even as the objection formed on the man's lips, Hild was already overriding him. "In this particular case, that would be the assassination of your chief rival Kowatana-san as he too, was under contract."

"But, but, but... you can't...!"

"It's one of my favorite clauses, personally. And I see you're already acquainted with his daughter," The Grand Demoness smirked, glancing up to the mouth of the hallway where Toshi stood with a busted lip, supporting an equally disheveled black haired female over his shoulder; both staring on in shock as to the revelations occurring in their very presence. Hild singled her out directly. "Perhaps you would even like to stay for what is next, Miss Kowatana."

"What is... next?" The girl asked hesitantly, and the reason for the hesitancy was quite simple; the tanned woman's redheaded companion. The warrior-goddess-assassin had already torn through any resistance her deceased father's rival could offer, then literally destroyed a bullet in mid-flight before decimating the man himself. It was tough to see much topping that in regards to Ozawa's fate, but there was a twinkle in the white haired woman's eye that all but assured her she'd do her best.

Instead of answering directly, the woman simply ignored her trepidation and turned to the aforementioned warrior-goddess-assassin with a more serious look about her features. "I will not bind you to participate in this, Ranma-chan."

Any cheerfulness in the girl's demeanor likewise faded into grim determination, serving to fuel the girl's dread further. "And I told you I'm here to stay, Hild-san."

"Then it is time." The white haired woman declared, turning back to the fallen mob boss. "Of course, we could simply break your neck or snuff your pathetic life out by other similarly mundane methods to achieve the same result, but my dear child requires something a bit more… _showy._"

"Please, please, PLEASE," The boss gasped, attempting to push his way from what was now the biggest threat in the room to his long term survival. It was a pathetic struggle with both of his kneecaps broken and a wrist pulverized, but attempted it nonetheless as sheer terror overrode any concerns for pain. "I'll give you anything! ANYTHING!"

Hild chuckled. It was an evil, menacing sound and certainly not the last thing you would want to hear in the final minutes of your life. "But you've already given me the _only _thing that I could_ possibly_ want."

The yakuza boss managed another half meter of squirming before the Daimakaichō tired of his theatrics and grabbed at him. From Ranma's view, it looked like the lethargic swipe at his person would miss, only to watch her outstretched fingers snag a shadow. Her crippled prey suddenly choked and spasmed as her fingers curled around the barely visible shadow and, after a moment of twisting agony, gave it a good_ yank_. The multi colored shadow gained cohesion for a moment before her audience's wide eyes and writhed in her grasp as if struggling to return to its body before Hild gave it a final pull to free it from its mortal shell. Ozawa's corporeal being immediately fell limp, and the wisp in her hands melted into a glowing gelatinous mass which she appraised with idle amusement, rolling what Ranma could only assume was the man's soul in her hands as if its mass were mere play dough.

Ranma winced as Hild stretched it a bit, then glanced at the body whose ki she could feel rapidly dissipating. "Uh, I'm assumin' he's...um..."

"Yes."

"And that's his, eh..." The martial artist pressed, motioning to the glowing mass of shadow for lack of an appropriate descriptive. Hild nodded once more, entirely too absorbed in stretching it into odd shapes.

"His soul." She finished definitively. "From here, accounts receivable will process it, weigh the balance of his life and assign a suitable punishment." The white haired demoness paused with an introspective look, then held the soul out to Ranma. "Care to touch it?"

"Eh..." Ranma hedged, warily watching the soul in her hand pulse.

As a matter of fact, she most definitely _didn't_ want to touch the astral mass, but two things were working against that usually sound course of action. The first was her own ego, part of the very makeup of her own personality. Sure, it probably wasn't a good idea to touch another soul, but she had done stupider for less and now had an audience. The second was rooted in sounder logical foundations. This was Hild, and the woman had given her fair warning what to expect before even stepping into the place. She had even offered her an out at every stage, and the martial artist knew she was past the mental point of no return in her own thoughts.

The redhead held out her hand tepidly, then a single finger as Hild waited patiently. Ranma steeled herself in the next few seconds and gave it an experimental poke. At first, there was nothing beyond a warming sensation. That sensation vanished a split second later as a horrible feeling of despair accompanied by random flashes of memory stolen from the life and times of Nazi Ozawa flashed through her brain. Ranma sucked in a surprised breath and yanked the finger back. The mournful howling ceased as if turned off like a switch. She looked from the soul, to Hild, nearly panting.

"What the hell was that?"

"Unrestricted access to the late Ozawa-san's very self," The Daimakaichō nodded, pulling the soul back and crushing it into the size of a tennis ball between both hands. "Everything that he was and is. I assume it was all whiny and full of emotional despair?"

"Sure felt like it to me," The pigtailed girl nodded briskly, only to watch Hild shake her head, as if boredom had set in.

"You learn to ignore it after the first dozen or so," Hild quipped, now tossing the soul in hand with a complete lack of remorse in her tone. "As if they didn't know full well what they were getting into. Whiny teeth gnashers, each and every one of them."

"And off you go." The tanned woman gave the compacted soul a final toss into the air pointed her finger at in, forming a faux gun, then pulled the trigger. The soul immediately exploded into sparkling glitter with a pop, which rained overhead for a moment before dissipating entirely. Ranma winced again with the final scream echoing through her ki, but shook it off. By the time she had refocused, Hild had already moved on with a smile on her face. "We'll definitely have to do this again sometime. Perhaps... No, wait. I'm forgetting something."

The Grand Demoness paused, then turned fully around to the wide eyed salary man and yakuza heiress gaping in the doorway. Hild considered them with a tilted head for a moment; a thoughtful finger resting on her lips. "Technically I should be erasing both of your memories at this point."

That seemed to snap the pair out of their daze and both shuffled nervously as the woman contemplated their fate. She turned back to Ranma. "What do you think, dear?"

Ranma simply shrugged, using the change in subject to put the thought of blasting a soul straight to hell well to the back of her mind. "Toshi's been a blast. I say let 'em keep it."

"And so they shall," Hild nodded agreeably, joining Ranma to take her hand into hers. "Ta-ta!"

Toshi Hamasaki and Mina Kowatana watched as their benefactors suddenly burst into flames, leaving them staring at a room in ruin, complete with broken furniture, fixtures, unconscious bodyguards and one rapidly cooling corpse once owned by the now late Nazi Ozawa. The sight of her father's rival snapped the heiress out of her stupor and she adjusted her position in Toshi's hold, spitting on the dead body. The act effectively snapped the salaryman out of his own daze, and his brain finally reengaged in an effort to make sense of everything that had happened.

"Ah... what do you think-"

"I think we should leave," His female partner finished his thought immediately. "Before the police arrive with questions requiring answers we do not have."

While normally a law-abiding Japanese citizen, her course of action was probably the one thing he could agree with in its entirety. There was no possible way either one of them could explain the devastation wrought around them, and if he wanted a job- hell, if he wanted a _life _tomorrow -the best thing he could do would be to not be found here, period. Still, there was his new female friend to consider, and he adjusted his stance to carry more of her weight along his shoulder. "Should I get you to a doctor?"

"Thank you, but my place is fine," She shook her head even as they navigated out the back and toward the emergency exit. She smiled for him even as they limped along. "The redhead... A special acquaintance of yours, I'd assume?"

"Ah, kinda," The young man admitted nervously, but recanted. "Um, not really. I mean, it's complicated."

Mina simply giggled though his backtracking. "I like complicated. I think you and I will get along_ just fine_."

Toshi swallowed hard with the yakuza heiress' suggestive lilt, all while wondering just how his simple life had gotten so damn complicated so damn fast.

A certain redhead immediately came to mind.

* * *

"A limo," Ranma huffed as the interior swayed slightly as the limo in question rounded a corner. It was all she could do not to sink into the deep leather seats, never to be heard from again, and she grabbed the burled wood armrest to stabilize herself. Once that had been accomplished, she shot a skeptical look at the owner of the limo and co-occupant, the Daimakaichō herself. "Why does it always gotta be a limo? I mean, you can just blast us from here to there, right?"

"Of course I can," Hild smirked, flicking an errant bank of her platinum white mane back over her shoulder. "But what fun is money and power if you can't lord it over others?"

The martial artist simply rolled her eyes, noting landmarks that placed them on the outer edge of the Nermia suburb. "Yeah, great for you, but I don't need this kind of notice."

"Simply because you won't take the steps necessary to limit the drama in your life doesn't mean that I can't have my fun." Hild snickered at Ranma's discomfort before her tone turned a fraction more serious. "And your fun, for that matter."

Another streetlight flashed its illumination into the tinted windows of their mutual transportation before being left behind in the night, highlighting Ranma's bland expression briefly. She recognized the pointed life lesson immediately and simply opted to limit her response to a muted huff instead of justifying her stance to the one person who would not only empathize with her plight, but had been helping her with it. That same realization also brought forth another, and that was that the limo probably was her idea of help.

"Have it your way," The Saotome shook her head and expressed thanks in her own round-about way. "But don't think I won't learn how to do that teleportin' trick myself one of these days."

"Posh, I'm already having that arranged." Ranma blinked with the tanned woman's statement and stared intently as she continued. "I would teach you myself but barely have time for outings such as this, let alone instruct in basic spell primer."

"Basic _what?_" Ranma leaned forward, the woman having gained her complete and undivided attention. She dissected the meaning further, trying for the most likely conclusion. "Wait, you're gettin' me a _magic tutor?_"

"Better than finding you randomly experimenting with the tomes in my library, I should think." Hild sniffed with humor at the recollection of the teenager curled around a book nearly the size of her torso. "Miss McDowell owes me a favor and her instruction compliments your learning style. Between the two of you, I would expect you to have the basics down within a few months."

The incredulity of her statement was immediately replaced as the girl's ego roared to the forefront. "_Months?_ As if."

"If you insist," The tanned woman adopted a innocent look, one that all but advertised her overt manipulations. Ranma opened her mouth to protest the act, but it simply snapped shut a moment later, realizing she could only argue _not_ being able to learn the material within the expected time frame; nor would it actually change a thing. Of course, there was ego involved, but there was also that core part of her that would learn with an insatiable need. She would learn the material and she would exceed Hild expectations just like the woman obviously expected her to. Arguing the point was ridiculous in that light.

The martial artist was about to attack the conversation from a different angle when the limo began to decelerate, rolling to a halt seconds later. Hild's eyes twinkled at the fortuitous derailing of Ranma's train of thought. "Oh look at the time. It appears we have arrived."

"Hmmf," Ranma sniffed as she extricated herself from the soft leather couch of the limo. "Don't think I've forgotten about this."

"Oh, so you will be needing all those months of practice?"

Ranma's cheek twitched as she realized she had just fallen into the trap she had wished to avoid in the first place. She swallowed her pride with the faux defeat. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But it won't be takin' months."

"Nor would I expect it to," Hild nodded kindly as the door opened for the girl. "I'll send Mara over to arrange the schedule later this week. Until then?"

"Alright, be waitin'," Ranma nodded agreeably as she ducked out of the automobile, pausing thoughtfully midway. "And the ass kickin' was real fun. Thanks Hild-san."

"Think nothing of it," She smiled kindly, then shooed her away with her hands. "Now off with you."

The door closed, leaving the grand Demoness alone within the vehicle and her thoughts. The smile persisted even as she watched Ranma's antics through the tinted window- Looking around to see if she had been spotted before hopping over the gate instead of simply walking through it. _Though you might want to change out of that dress first, child_, she snickered to herself as the driver reentered and placed the limo in gear.

Tonight hadn't been the disaster it could have been, and while Ranma had taken obvious discomfort at some of their activities, she had mental fortitude that the Daimakaichō could only admire. _Not too much, too fast, however_, she decided as the limo began to wheel away. It was almost ironic that she was still shepherding the girl along towards an end, but not the end she had originally started out to achieve. That one had been spiteful and utterly devoid of any value beyond that of self-gratification. The thought caused Hild a twinge of guilt and the smile faded from her face with the thought. Destroying the redhead now was nearly as alien as causing her own daughter to suffer.

The grand demoness sighed and was brooding on the topic further when a group of girls on a street-lit corner caught her attention, causing her the slightest of smiles. "Pull over next to them, Goswell."

The driver complied and the eyes of the three girls instantly locked onto the limo as it drew near. Hild keyed the power windows down with a cool smile, targeting the trio's leader. "Tendo-san. Fancy seeing you out this time of night." Her lavender eyes flicked over the other girls suggestively. "Business or pleasure?"

Nabiki Tendo stared at the woman lounging comfortably in the limo, but very nearly choked at the implication. Her two associates' cheeks suddenly reddened as well, prompting the middle sister to fill any perceived gap. "Ahem. Business, I assure you. None of yours, I might add."

"I see," Hild nodded sagely, ignoring her frosty tone. "Perhaps with enough monetary leverage it might become my business."

"I don't think so," Nabiki drawled, clearly doubtful and likewise guarded given her last encounter with the tanned woman. "Besides, I seriously doubt you could meet my price."

"Fifty thousand."

Nabiki coughed with the number that Hild had simply dropped from the sky. To point, she watched as the white haired woman reached from somewhere in the limo and pulled a stack of cash that consisted of thousand yen bills. She briefly wondered if the woman simply had stacks of cash simply lining the interior of her limo, but thrust the errant thought out of her mind as she considered the tactical implications of the offer. She was willing to pay, and pay big.

The only question was how big.

_Seventy-five?_ She briefly wondered, studying the woman as she absently counted the requisite money seemingly without a care in the world. The Tendo's eyes flicked across the limo- a Bentley of some flavor -and crossed the number out mentally. _I'll bet you can burn seventy five and not even feel it. Eighty? Ninety?_

"Fifty thousand," Hild finished, fanning the money out before condensing it back into a polite stack. "Of course, I would require some assurance that the information is worth the sum I'm paying for it."

Nabiki's gaze narrowed on the woman as she mentally took a deep breath and launched her own outrageous gambit. "One hundred thousand, or you can simply drive on off."

Even the girls around her gasped, and the woman's cool smile slipped with the counter offer. "One hundred thousand?" Hild shook her head, playing her part of the game with flawless expertise. "Do you think I simply drive around dispensing large sums of money to any school girl waif prostituting themselves on the corner in the thorough of the night?"

"I _do_." Nabiki ignored the insult, proud to have finally gotten a reaction. Her own cool smile began to surface at the edge of her lips. "And for that indiscretion, one hundred and _fifty_ thousand."

"Indeed," The woman's mood sour externally, even as she all but chortled inside. "Then I shall partake of your advice and 'simply drive off' as you put it."

The slightest pang of panic lanced through the sister, but she suppressed it; having expected this particular turn in their bargaining. Nabiki was back in familiar territory now, and commenced to reel her mark in. "Consider it payback for the dojo incident. I assure you, however, that this information is worth every yen if you wish to further your association with Saotome."

The power window that had started traversing upward suddenly stalled. All that was visible of the woman now was her lavender eyes, and they appeared to regard the Ice Queen warily. The reflective window dropped once more, revealing Hild's neutral expression in full. "Touche, Miss Tendo. If this information is not to my satisfaction, I promise you I _will_ retain my funds."

"Satisfaction guaranteed," Nabiki folded her arms confidently even as her partners watched in disbelief as the woman added yet more money to the growing pile. Hild ran a finger across the edge, as if to count it before handing the money over to the middle sister, who had to suppress her own trembling._ One-hundred and fifty thousand! _Nabiki all but squealed from the confines of her own psyche, but quashed it upon seeing the waiting woman's irritated demeanor. She moved to assuage it without delay. "Saotome is getting married. _Tomorrow_. I was just making arrangement with the girls here to provide photo services, as a matter of fact."

A singular eyebrow shot up from Hild as she eyed the teen skeptically, yet could read no falsehood in the soul that was rightfully hers by contract. "This seems rather... sudden."

"That's my daddy and Ranma's old man for you," Nabiki snorted. "Heck, even my baby sister this time. If it seems sudden to you, think about arranging a tux, wedding dress, cake, photos... The whole nine yards. The last twelve hours have been hectic."

"And Ranma is not aware of this, of course," The Daimakaichō stated with certainty, confirmed by Nabiki's own testimony.

"He'll find out tomorrow." The mercenary smirked.

"With mirth in funeral and with dirge in marriage." Hild shook her head and played her own angle with a contemptuous sniff. "Though I am quite surprised you haven't charged the entire student body for this trove of information. Good night, Miss Tendo."

With that, Nabiki Tendo watched with a stunned look as the mirrored window slid back up until the woman was sealed within. The limo crawled away from the curb, leaving three teenage girls in their wake; two staring at the third.

"Boss? Boss?" One snapped her fingers in front of the mercenaries daze. On the third iteration, the sister snapped out of it.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that!" Nabiki blurted, startling the pair. She whirled on them an unholy gleam shining in her eyes. "We've been so damn busy!"

"What are you-"

"Forget the photos," She overrode her partner hastily. "I need an invitation for every single member Furikan by tomorrow. Light a fire under it, girls."

"At this hour?" One of them balked and the Tendo nodded fiercely, then clutched the girl's shoulders like a mad woman.

"Two thousand yen times _every student in Furikan_," She hissed, nearly shaking her partner in order to force understanding into her. "Plus gifts! What will a percentage of _that_ do for your beauty sleep, Hiroko?"

Hiroko's daze suddenly morphed into wide eyed realization; numbers crunching in her mind's eye. A silent 'oh!' formed on her lips.

"That's right." Nabiki set the girl loose with a feral smile. "Let's burn the midnight oil, girls. We've got a fortune to make."

Two blocks away in a luxuriously appointed limousine heading east, the Daimakaichō watched the excited trio of girls from a rear view mirror with a very evil smile across her face.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Alrighty. Damn I had to overcome enough barriers to get this out, but here we are. The completion of Ch9b marks the end of canon. It's uncharted territory from here on out, folks. Hope you've had fun so far.

**Kaijin Karasu** -_Translated; Ash Raven, a fictional Yakuza run club set in Roppongi Hills._

**Liar Liar** -_ Can ranma lie and act to the level shown in this chapter? Basing his ability on canon events alone, IMO yes. As alluded to, it's highly ironic that all of that ability seems to only show through his female aspect, indicating some form of mental compartmentalization or other psychological issues if one takes the story at least somewhat seriously. He scams free eats under this guise, fools a gym full of girls in order to get the Japanese nyannichuan, and lest one forget, actually donned a strapless mini in order to help his clone seduce guys. From playing Ryoga's little sister to his jilted love interest, Ranma's ability to act and lie competently is beyond question regardless of whether he can bluff the poker king or not. It just depends on which form you find him in at the time._

**Two Parts?** - _Chapter nine was originally intended as one whole, cohesive work. The problem with that is that it would have pushed over 30kw for a single chapter, while 15-20kw seems to be the perfered length by and large. If anything seems off or out of balance, it might help to view it in that light instead of two single, self-contained chapters._

**Junmai Daiginjo-Shu _what?_** - _A type of sake, usually discernible by how much the rice is polished to remove external proteins before fermentation begins. Higher quality sake is generally polished multiple times, reducing the individual grain sizes to less than half their original diameter and removing the outer proteins. The quality of the sake is also determined by how much other alcohol besides that produced by fermentation is used to augment the end product, though its presence does not necessarily indicate a lesser quality product. For the record, I hate _straight_ sake_ :p

**Special thanks** to all the same people in 9a. My editing is probably looser than it should be at this point, so thanks for putting up with it.


	11. Chapter 10

**Hell is a Martial Artist  
**Chapter 10

_By Ozzallos_

"**A**nd then you said, '_I kept trying to tell you how I felt, but it always came out wrong!'_"

Ranma cast a bland look at the girl on the bench across from him as she exaggerated her movements and dialogue into a form worthy of a play write. If cobalt haired girl perceived his disdain, it was largely ignored as she continued, swooping her arms skyward for the grand finale. "_I LOVE YOU, AKANE TENDO!_"

Ranma simply shook his head and snorted as Akane bowed to her invisible audience. "Like I'd ever say something gay like that."

"You did," Akane stated, sitting back down with an impish smile on her face. She retrieved her bento, only mildly surprised that Ranma hadn't finished off hers _and_ his. She took the pink spiral of the fish cake in between the tips of her chops sticks and popped it into her mouth before continued with a superior smile. "I have witnesses."

"Jeez," He huffed with nearly as much exaggeration, rolling his eyes for effect. "Say something dramatic when somebody's havin' a rough time and it gets blown way out of proportion."

"Is that what you call it now?" Akane's humor dulled slightly with the memory, but she forced the smile back. Fortunately, Ranma had been too focused on his own bento to notice. "But seriously... What now?"

Ranma glanced over at her, his face betraying no comprehension. "What do you mean?"

Akane's face took on the slightest tint of irritation. "I mean _what. Now._"

Ranma wince, picking up the stressed syllables in full this time, and it was actually a damn good question considering how the day started.

_"A tux, son! You have to dress appropriately for your wedding!"_

Ranma nearly winced physically as he recalled how it started. Actually, it started with a wooden mallet to the head shortly after waking up courtesy of his father and Soun Tendo, who happily informed him that he was participating in the Japanese equivalent of a shotgun wedding after regaining consciousness. Perhaps even more shocking was that fact that the bride-to-be, Akane Tendo, was surprisingly willing... As opposed to being knocked unconscious herself and blaming it all on him like last time.

Their mutual day went progressively downhill from there.

By midday the pigtailed martial artist was dodging live steel, explosives, projectiles and other miscellaneous weaponry delivered via fiancées and rivals alike. The former were more than happy to sabotage the wedding in the final hour in order to keep their foot in the door, while the latter consisted almost entirely of Jusenkyo cursed victims vying for the only cask nannichuanin in all of Japan. While completely unnecessary for the groom in question, the wedding itself was transformed into a battle royale as both factions waged all out war in the dojo like something out a bizarre martial arts flick, which in turn force Ranma into a battle of possession just to contain the property damage. Nabiki, of course, happily collected the monetary gifts from well wishers and thrill seekers alike, who had received her wedding invitations from far and wide.

And somehow, in spite of the melee over the nannichuan, the fiancée brawl and devastation inflicted upon the dojo, they were here. On speaking terms. _Actually joking with one another_. It was a damn miracle in Ranma's opinion.

_'Only question is how long it's gonna last_,' A strand of pessimism inserted itself in his thoughts, but he pushed it back in favor of the positive. It was a nice change of pace all in all, and he'd be a fool to claim otherwise. Ranma's attention turned back to Akane's question and its implicit meaning with the only answer he had.

"Beats the hell out of me."

"'Beats the hell out of _you_? '" Akane's pleasant demeanor took on an unamused cast. "Not, 'I'll set the other girls straight ?' Maybe, ' I'll stop fighting with rivals at our wedding ?' How about-"

"Yeah, how about keepin' your sister from invitin' em all in the first place?" Ranma returned edgily with each bitter point his fiancée produced. "Seriously, Akane, what am I gonna tell 'em that an actual_ wedding ceremony _didn't?"

"How should I know?" Akane's trademark temper surfaced as she bolted upright from their park bench, glaring at her betrothed. It wasn't at a full boil yet, but the martial artist knew the signs as she continued working up to it. "They're_ your_ fiancees! They're_ your_ rivals!_ You _need to deal with them!"

"What, you think I asked for all this?" Ranma bit back, standing up as well . Akane wasn't the only one who had had it up to here and his ego had already taken enough bruising for one day. "You wanna lay all this at somebody's feet, talk to my old man. He's the one that spent most of my childhood tradin' my ass for crap he never intended on honorin'."

"Look... It's..." The girl's glare continued before its edge faded slightly. It was obvious she was still pissed, but Ranma held out the smallest hope that some of that had actually gotten through to her. In the end her angry visage took on the distinct look of frustration as she shook her head. "Just... Just _deal_ with it. I don't care how, but I can't take another ceremony like that."

With that ultimatum, Akane turned away, making her way for the nearest street as Ranma watched with conflicting emotions. _Dammit,_ he returned bitterly as she walked out of sight. '_Just deal with it.'_ Her words echoed in his brain. Each iteration was met with contempt. Her response had been surprisingly _moderated _given the situation, but there was an ever increasing portion of Ranma's mind wondering if any of it was worth dealing with.

_"Another _ceremony,"He huffed. '_If I wanted to get married, I wouldn't need to get beat down to do it,'_ Ranma grumbled as he recounted the day's events even as he dealt with the older wounds Akane's parting words had reopened. '_And what am I supposed to do about them, Akane? Kick all their asses when you can't even handle your own sister?'_

The pigtailed boy sighed heavily, his sight catching a married couple and their two small boys strolling across the park near the swing set. '_Like that's gonna happen,'_ He snorted mentally at the mere thought of a normal married life. Ranma turned away from the scene, walking in more or less a random direction as his mind meandered in its thoughts. Was it worth it? Was _any of it _worth it? She was cute and all, but...

_'But it ain't enough,' _Ranma sighed, letting his gaze turn skyward. Even the admission made from the privacy of his own thoughts felt like a betrayal. However, when it came right down to it, it was the honest to God truth. If there was one thing he had in abundance, it was cute girls tripping over themselves to get to him. Sure it did wonderful things for the ego, but in that singular moment of brutal honesty, there was little he could do but admit that it had ceased to become a deciding factor in their individual, overall attractiveness.

And that only left what was on the inside.

Ranma shivered at the thought. '_Ain't like they're bad people,'_ He revised, trying to put a positive spin on what was becoming a somewhat dark train of thought. They just had... Issues. '_And I'm at the center of every goddamn one of them.'_ There was only one conclusion he could realistically come to after everything that had happened today.

"Fiancées suck," He huffed, kicking a small pebble at his feet.

" A sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with."

Ranma's eyes snapped up to the familiar female voice, finding the Daimakaicho herself closing on his position with a smile and skin. Lots and lots of tanned skin held in check by a metallic blue mini skirt and a small, plain white lycra midriff. Both articles of clothing were attached at the navel by a golden ring, merging the two into a smooth line that only accentuated her visible curves. A smile cracked along Ranma's face in spite of his previous brooding as he imagined just how many people the woman probably killed just walking here. She paused next to him and Mara trailed behind nodding to him pleasantly.

"What's up kid?" She smirked, looking him over. "You a married man, yet?"

"Hell no," Ranma snorted, somehow not surprised that either Hild or Mara knew of today's disaster. "Close though. Real close."

"For what is wedlock forced but a hell, an age of continual discord and strife," The Grand Demoness quoted theatrically, causing Ranma to arch an eyebrow as she finished. She saw his questioning look and smiled. "Shakespeare, dear."

"Gotcha," The black haired martial artist nodded, chewing on the wisdom inherent in the verse before chuckling himself. "My old man and Tendo should take notes."

She smiled kindly and walked back over to Ranma's bench, spying the half eaten bento sitting on them. She turned back to the boy with a slightly more serious expression. "Though the Tendo child does pose a valid question. Sooner or later this will catch up to you again."

"Ya heard that too, huh?" Ranma asked rhetorically, though having the white haired woman broach the topic riled him far less than his temperamental fiancée. He could trust Hild's motives. Handling Akane and her temper was more along the lines of juggling chain saws and live explosives. In the end, he could only agree with Hild's assessment. "Yeah... Only thing that saved us were all the morons Nabiki invited."

Mara kicked aside Akane's bento in disgust and plopped down on the park bench to stretch out even as Hild's face took on an impish countenance. "You can thank me later."

That proud announcement caused Ranma to pause, as he scrutinized the grand demoness and her non-sequitur. _"What?"_

"Possibly less elegant than I would have preferred, of course, but time was short." She elaborated while the martial artist's eyes slowly widened with realization.

"You?" Ranma blurted, now unable to help himself. "But Nabiki said... I mean, _how?"_

"Please," She tisked, rolling her eyes. "What am I to do, let a fond acquaintance wallow in the dirge of marriage? She is an easily manipulated little girl; I merely suggested the possibility of selling the invitations in passing."

"Um, thanks." Ranma mumbled as he continued to stare at the woman as he had done since the revelation surfaced. It had been an overall unmitigated disaster in so far as the wedding was concerned, but an absolute stroke of last minute genius in terms of actually _avoiding _holy matrimony.

_'And messy,' _He added mentally, but couldn't help but to see the results favor the pros more than the cons. The heat was still on him to do something, and while Mister Tendo and Akane had made that abundantly clear, Hild had bought him precious time to find out what that something was...

...And whether he even wanted it for himself.

"Don't sound so enthused," Hild sniffed humorously for another second before lapsing back into a stoic expression that held the martial artist seriously. The personal space around her seemed to darken as her lavender gaze fixated on his person. "Still the tangles of fate are tightening around you, child. They will either guide or strangle you if not severed."

Much as he wanted to, there was no minimizing the Daimakaicho's dire warning and Ranma barely suppressed the shiver that had accompanied it. There was no ego he could fall back on to dismiss her words, and while he suspected the rest was just for show, it succeeded in driving her point home like a hot knife through butter. Her warning didn't suddenly conjure a solution to his problem, but it did succeed in bumping the topic up several notches on Ranma's priority list.

"Dammit," Ranma grumbled with the realization and shoved his hands in his pocket. He turned his own blue eyes back to Hild. "Any ideas, then?"

"Only the one I've advocated since the outset," She shrugged nonchalantly. The act seemed to dismiss the weighty black aura rippling in the air around her.

"Kick their asses, take your ball and go home." Mara snorted from the side, brushing a blond lock out of her face.

"That's the one." Hild nodded, now pleasantly amused by her subordinate's input. "They need you more than you need them."

"Like it's that simple," Ranma huffed, but began to seriously consider the complexity of the problem at hand.

"Simplicity is a remarkably fluid thing," Hild remarked and began to walk away from the park bench and across the grass toward the main path. Mara hopped off and the martial artist followed as she explained further. "And I suspect the more pain this situation causes you, the simpler your decision will become."

Ranma arched an eyebrow at her dire observation. "Damn. Really spreadin' the doom and gloom on pretty thick today."

"I'll not spare a close confidant his preconceived notions simply to salve his ego in a matter such as this." The white haired woman stated plainly, looking back over her shoulder. Her face scrunched slightly in irritation. "That, and my mood is possibly due to an influx of whiny middle eastern terrorist-types complaining about the absence of their seventy two virgins."

A slight chuckle burbled from the boy who melted into a girl with the laughter. Hild appeared not to notice, though Mara cocked her head curiously as the redhead continued with a smile. "Dip 'em in lava?"

"Fed them to the Shai-Hulud." Hild smiled in kind, causing Ranma to blink with the unfamiliar name. She glanced back to Mara with a wondering look.

"Think giant sand worms, kid." The blond supplied readily, filling the knowledge gap.

A silent 'ah' formed on Ranma's lips before she moved on with an impetuous smile on her lips. "I woulda fed them to a giant Phoenix."

"No, Phoenix are hardly regular visitors to hell and it would try my patience to..." Hild's automatic response tapered off as she realized just how successfully the girl had engaged her in the improbable conversation. She ambled to a halt and turned back to the impishly grinning redhead, staring for a moment before smiling. "And where would you obtain access to such a creature, hmmm?"

"Heck, just had one fly through two months back," Ranma motioned back over her shoulder to the ward at her back. "Ate a ton before we finally kicked it out, so I'm sure it wouldn't notice a few extras. If that ain't enough, ol' Herb can point me in the right direction."

"They'd be fall off the bone tender by the time the buzzard got done with them," Mara cocked her head as she considered the effects of claws, beaks and a supernatural avian furnace on its victims. Mara glanced over to Hild. "Your kid's pretty good at this."

Being good at things was something Ranma could take in stride. Being good at finding creative ways to torture people in the afterlife was something the martial artist was still taking on a case by case basis, and she was suddenly feeling uneasy about the very topic she had instigated; even if it had started off as a bid to divert Hild's attention from the grind of her daily routine. Hild merely nodded for her part, already knowing that her protege wasn't quite ready to take on that level of responsibility. It didn't make Mara any less correct, but the girl's indecision over the matter was easy enough to see. The queen of the damned decided a tactical counter-distraction was in order.

"On that pleasant note, I think some lessons in the magical arts are in order." The Daimakaicho commented, instantly diverting Ranma's attention. She paused with a whimsical look. "Unless you have better things to do?"

"Ya mean like listening to the old men bitch and get chased around by psycho fiancées?" Ranma responded dryly, Hild simply grinned back. The redhead rolled her eyes as she continued. "I'm thinking that I can clear my schedule."

"Then let's go meet your new instructor." The white haired demoness nodded and the trio was abruptly consumed by a gout of magical flame.

At that same moment approximately six kilometers west of their former position, another would be practitioner of the magical arts was putting the final touches on his project. Hikaru Gosunkugi was by no means a master of the dark arts and to date, had seen little success in the craft. When voodoo hadn't worked, the socially inept teen had turned to technology. When _that _hadn't worked, he had begun the search for more potent magicks; the big guns as it were.

The pale, sleep deprived student put the finishing touches on the circular array of seals with a piece of worn chalk, glancing back over to a thick leather tome for reference every few seconds to make sure his depiction was accurate. A dusty chalk finger plucked at the page and turned it, his eyes scanning the next ancient illustration that had been crudely inked in by some scholar centuries ago. The book itself was a monumental find, especially for somebody who had fallen victim to all sorts of scams and dead ends in his quest to delve deeper into the shadows of magic.

This particular book- he still couldn't read the symbols on the cover -had been found at a rummage sale hosted by a local temple. Something told him this wasn't supposed to have been set out with the other miscellaneous clothing and random appliances to be picked through, but even his amateur recognition of all things magic determined what was laying on the table. One blind rummage sale proprietor and a thousand yen later, it was his.

_Parents are out, check._ Hikaru looked around the small space he had cleared on the porch of the apartment's meager balcony. Even 'balcony' was perhaps too generous a term for the patch of real estate that his mother used to hang dry laundry, but it would serve his purposes. He then checked over his remaining supplies, glancing over to a clear glass jar filled with viscous crimson fluid adjacent to the chalk sealing array. Beside that several accompanying herbs held down by rocks sat, lest the wind from living on the fifth story blow the items away.

_Chicken blood, check. Five stems of Belladonna, check._ The junior classman continued to run his finger down the page and its crudely etched kanji, verifying that his preparations were complete. He paused at a block of text, which in turn caused him to scramble up, race back into the house and return only minutes later with a ruddy brown cloth bag. Hikaru Gosunkugi settled back into position, dumping the contents into the circle. _Bones of a predator, check._

In this case, a neighborhood cat.

_Candles, candles..._the timid student squirmed in locating the wax lengths behind him and an accompanying book of matches. He untied the string binding five of them together and began setting them strategically around the array. After the fifth one was in place, he stepped back, admiring his work while simultaneously comparing it to the books crudely drawn illustration on the next page.

With a final nod of confirmation, he struck one of the matches and began lighting the candles, mumbling the chant principle to this particular summons. The flames flickered with the breeze but stayed lit, and he reached for the herbs next, setting them to the candle flame before throwing their smoldering lengths into the circle. The amateur sorcerer continued his chant in an uneven cadence and gathered up the jar, unscrewing its lid and dipping his fingers into the crimson fluid. Hikaru almost dry heaved right there as his fingers were enveloped by the blood, but he managed and began to slowly pour the jar contents along the outer edge of the circle.

The jar had emptied and he was on his second refrain, yet nothing had happened. The junior glanced back at the book with seeds of doubt, but continued as the circle smoldered with his work. It wasn't until the third repetition that something happened. Gosunkugi's eyes widened as the candle flames that had been on the very edge of blowing out in the breeze suddenly stiffened and brightened. He took a hesitant gulp between stanzas but continued. The deadly nightshade promptly burst into flames with the next verse, consuming the accompanying feline bones in an unnatural red blaze.

_Last verse,_Hikaru tried to steel himself with confidence he didn't have. Still, the fact that he'd even gotten a reaction was an amazing first and he yelled the last words that would finish the summons.

_"Avada Kadavra Crucio!"_

What had been a campfire burning in the middle of his parent's balcony suddenly roared, expanding like a violent fireball that would all but assuredly kill him and everything for fifty meters outright. The unnatural blaze reached out to engulf him and his bladder relaxed in terror. He held his arms up to ward the fire away and shut his eyes, knowing his parents would find little more than a cinder of his remains when they returned home. Heat roared and Hikaru Gosunkugi waited for the end.

And waited.

From behind his shielding arms, the student's eyes blinked open after several seconds. It took another moment for the boy to realize that he was not, in fact burnt to a crisp and that the balcony that he was curled up on in terror still remained. Hikaru slowly uncurled from his protective shell, and looked up.

"GAH!" The boy practically squealed in terror and scrambled back, pressing himself into a corner in a lame attempt to hide behind his mother's meager collection of flower pots. A pair of burning, flame-lit eyes stared down at him. The eyes themselves were owned by something with four horns, many jagged teeth and a body made of pure red muscle. It's left claw flexed and the broad sword points that represented its talons hissed together with the promise of whispered death.

Hikaru Gosunkugi whimpered in terror.

* * *

A girl.

_**N**__ot quite,_ Ranma corrected himself as he watched the young schoolgirl eyed him with thinly veiled boredom from her well cushioned crushed red velvet chair. The chair matched the room's overall theme of decadence and even he himself sat on an obnoxiously expensive seat as a girl several years his junior interviewed him; her attention wandering from a thick old book on her lap and his person.

"First we must establish a baseline, Saotome-san." Her child like timber carried with it an undercurrent of knowledge and experience. Yes, she was a girl. Ranma could see that plainly enough. A girl in a black gothic dress with frills and matching gold buckled heels. That, however, hadn't fooled him for one moment since her bearing was anything but.

"What do you know about mana?"

The martial artist shrugged, pulling at his meager knowledge on the topic. "It's like ki. Can be manipulated into doing all sorts of stuff."

"In other words, nothing." Evangeline McDowell finished for him in the most disinterested tone possible, causing Ranma to frown. She looked up from the thick book she had been absorbed in reading for the first time. "Tell me again why Hild-sama sent you to me?"

"Ta learn magic." Ranma stated simply, trying to reign in his temper for the benefit of his patron.

"And how am I supposed to teach you magic if you don't even know what mana is?" She sighed with what Ranma suspected was a rhetorical question. He answered anyway, determined to stand his ground regardless of how old the girl in front of him actually was.

"Yeah, I'm thinkin' that's your job." He retorted evenly, holding her gaze as she stared her displeasure into him.

"So you are telling me that the queen of hell sent me, a True Blood vampire and master sorceress, what amounts to a rank amateur?" Her left hand delicately closed the book, and she sat back into the red chair all but radiating arrogance and boredom. It was slightly unnerving for the martial artist given the disparity between her physical age and elder attitude. _Which's probably the goal to begin with,_ he suspected.

It also might have worked better for somebody not already familiar with bull-yeti-crane-eel curses. Ranma fixed an arrogant countenance for her benefit.

"I dunno,' He shrugged without a care. "Let's get her back in and ask her."

After a lengthy gaze of malcontent, the blond haired girl sniffed her contempt and began the lesson. "Mana is composed of the very fabric of reality. It is _not _ki. Ki is generated by those with lifeforce and is finite in nature. Mana and magic by extension is limited only by the skill of the sorcerer or sorceress involved."

_The very fabric of reality?_ Ranma mulled over the statement as his intellect began to pick over the heavier implications therein. _Would explain the curse, I guess_, he thought, drawing on the largest influence of magic as an example. It wasn't just a trick of some sort. It was literally _changing reality_; in this case his very gender.

Evangaline watched the boy think, idly wondering what conclusion he would come to when he suddenly shifted into a curvy redheaded girl. The blond arched an eyebrow skeptically and the redhead suddenly shifted back into a boy. Then again into a girl. '_No doubt the surprise Hild-sama had hinted to_,' she surmised curiously and watched the transformation happen two more times before the settling back into that of a female. The teenage girl's blue eyes focused back upon the vampire's person and this time she could see the gears turning.

"But ain't that sort of dangerous?" It wasn't the question Evangaline had been expecting. So much so that it bypassed her normal urge to produce a witty response that would invariably insult her student in some way, shape or form.

"All magic is inherently dangerous. How do you mean?" The blond girl asked, if only to probe the depths of the child's intelligence.

"Well, ki can be dangerous but you really gotta work at it to even use," Ranma mused, kicking the topic around aloud. "It just doesn't come overnight. If magic is just out there for the grabbin', any sort of idiot could get in trouble with it."

It was a rather insightful observation for somebody she had ranked as less than an amateur in the magical arts; one that allowed her annoyance over being used as the former boy's tutor to slip a fraction. Also evident was the fact that the child was obviously familiar with dealing with power, if not magic._ Hopefully It will make this farce a tad more bearable,_ she groused but answered the girl's question regardless.

"Magic is indeed a rather low hanging fruit." She admitted with a nod, opening her right hand. It was empty at first, but the space swirled into a foggy mist that condensed quickly to form a floating shard of ice. Ranma leaned forward with interest, studying the process as she continued with the explanation. "Anybody with even a mote of talent can pick it, though it takes study and practice not to reap a disastrous harvest. History is replete with fools stumbling across magical tomes, only to destroy themselves for lack of wisdom and knowledge."

"I'm thinkin' I know those people," Ranma loosed a dry chuckle.

"Then by all means, gift them with some book of dangerous magic," Evangaline smiled almost pleasantly and let the ice crystal drift from her palm. It took to the air, lazily orbiting her person. "They will invariably summon a Grue and likely be devoured by it."

_'Or take a wrong turn ta China,' _Ranma added mentally as she was forced to concede just how true the vampire's words were. "Hild-san's got half a library filled with those sorts of books. "

_'Such dangerous familiarity,'_ Evangaline observed of the girl who in spite of her association with Hild-sama was not a supernatural being or demon of any sort. Apart from the gender oddity, he and she read as a normal human; as normal as most of those attending Mahora Academy. Her familiarity with the Grand Demoness of Hell, however, was anything but normal and even slightly disturbing. '_Added to the fact that Hild-sama is willing to grant me a boon for her training...'_

...A boon she so desperately wanted.

With that thought firmly in mind, the underage vampire continued as if conducting a school lecture. "Magic bends these universal forces to the will of the user, enabling feats both great and small. Some of the more well known examples you may have heard of: Lead transmuted into gold, the Fountain of Youth, etcetera, etcetera."

_'...And goddamn wishing swords, and Nanban mirrors and dragon whiskers and reversal jewels,'_ Ranma groused mentally, compiling her own list as the woman continued the lesson.

"There are various ways to invoke these universal forces: Hand seals, words of power, runes; generally some catalyst that allows the caster to focus on the task." The blond haired girl explained, patiently traversing the room over to her student. "These methods are generally dictated by culture. Europeans have a fondness for vocalization, where as Asian schools have a penchants for hand sealing. Since you will be my pupil, you will learn the former."

"Can't you just think 'em?" Ranma inserted the question, instantly recognizing the tactical disadvantages in either method. You could stop a person from speaking. Hands could be broken. Evangaline responded with a simple nod.

"Yes, though it is recommended only for the most basic of spells since the mind is incredibly easy to distract." She explained, walking around the back of redhead's sofa as if to study her like an insect. "Whereas committing thought into action requires more focus. There is less room for error and subsequent disaster."

Ranma simply nodded and the vampire continued. "Most magic is a combination of the elements: Earth, fire, water, wind, divine and infernal. With these, a sorceresses can accomplish nearly anything."

"Anything?" Ranma asked skeptically, which stood to reason since she had seen a lot in the last seventeen years of her meager life thus far.

"Anything. Floating for example." Evangaline's face took on a sinister smile and she snapped her fingers. "Furo-to."

The redhead felt the shift in gravity instantly, thought it took her another moment to realize the exact cause of the shift. By the time she realized what was happening, the martial artist was levitating nearly a meter off the ground. Ranma's eyes widened with the surprise.

"Hey! HEY!"

"The levitation spell is a combination of both wind and earth," She ignored her victim's protests even as the teen thrashed about in midair. "Can you tell me why?"

"How the hell should I know?" Ranma snapped, completely disliking the unfavorable tactical position she now found herself in. She had no hand hold, no inertia and absolutely no Newtonian physics in order to help position herself. "Wind ta shift me around and Earth to drop my mass, for all I know!"

The blond vampire girl froze, staring at the pigtailed teen floating above her person with wide eyes. That had been a remarkably accurate summary of the spell components; even more surprising from somebody without any formal education in the craft. "Perhaps you are not the lost cause you appear to be, Saotome-kun."

"Yeah, well that's great and all shorty, but ya had better be letting me down!" Ranma fumed. Her position and current orientation made it impossible to see the annoyed tick develop on her new sensei's face.

"'Shorty', is it?" Evangaline hissed, her blue eyes suddenly flashing with sinister intent. "I'll just have to teach you to display more respect to your elders."

"Yeah, like I don't got enough of-_WHAAAAAAAAA!_" Ranma's stationary position suddenly shifted violently to the side with the flick of the vampires hand. She went from zero to forty kilometers per hour in the space of five meters. That wasn't so much of a problem. The sixth meter, however, was another matter entirely.

_**CRUNCH.**_

Stone and mortar buckled as the martial artist slammed into it with little in the way of preparation. The wall cratered, but held while Ranma herself bounced off and flopped to the floor in a daze. The stars dancing in her vision were accompanied by an pernicious giggle.

The redhead shook her vision clear and found the girl entirely too satisfied for her own good. Ranma sent a blue eyed glare back at her. "You and me are gonna have words."

Evangaline's giggling stopped, but the smile was still there. "In that case, I have but one word for you."

"Yeah, and what word is that?" Ranma tensed, ready to initiate her own hostilities.

The smile gained an evil edge. "Furo-to."

Gravity lost its hold over the cussing martial artist once again.

* * *

**G**enma Saotome had a problem.

Several, actually.

One might assume his problems were mental in nature, and one would stand a reasonable chance of being correct if they did so. After all, how many fathers sold their child for a meal consisting of a bowl of rice and two pickles? They would also be correct in citing Genma's questionable parenting practices, such as throwing his child into a pit of starving cats or taking him to training grounds reputed to be cursed.

Those who raised their hands concerning Genma's current mental state were only partially correct. While he could be reasonably labeled 'bat shit crazy', the balding martial arts patriarch suffered from another debilitating disorder: Impatience. He had wheeled and dealed all throughout Ranma's training sojourn, thinking he could leave his misdeeds in the dust of the various backwaters they had travelled through. It was a mistake that would return to bite him in the ass again and again; today especially.

Today, the wedding had gone wrong. Not just wrong, but horribly wrong by Genma's estimation. Fiancees, rivals, property damage and even worse: a distinct lack of holy matrimony in spite of Akane's unprecedented acceptance of the entire affair. Of course, none of this could be laid at his doorstep. His son was too damn indecisive for his own good, especially when Tendo's youngest was practically throwing herself at him.

_'Damn curse has made him soft,'_ Genma grumbled to himself from his rooftop vigil. Everything had seemed okay at first. Hell, he had watched the pair walk off hand in hand just after the crowd had dispersed and Soun said his piece. Something had changed, however. Akane wasn't angry per se, but her mood was off and Ranma wasn't around. _Not good,_the Saotome patriarch had since decided and gone searching for the boy to slap some sense into him. There was only one minor flaw in that plan, and that was the lack of a boy to slap sense into; as if Ranma Saotome had disappeared from the face of the Earth.

The notion wasn't far from the truth, actually.

It was also ridiculous, so Genma had simply assumed that his son had found a really good hiding place since he wasn't found with any of the other fiancées or his usual hang outs._ 'And thank God for small favors_,' He breathed another sigh of relief. The fiancées had always been a threat, and the balding martial artist was especially concerned that he'd find his son in one of their beds sooner or later, especially now that the wedding had fallen through. Still they were all accounted for and his son was not, which was far better that than the alternative.

_'And when he finally does come home, __he'll see the light,'_ Genma nodded sagely as he scanned the twilight's fading light for his son._ 'Whether he likes it or not.'_

The first signs of movement signaled the end of his hour and a half long watch over the Tendo property, though not in the manner he was expecting. Genma expected his son to hop over the property wall. Maybe try to sneak into the house from the back. There was also the off chance that the boy would engage him directly, which would only facilitate his offspring's eventual lesson.

What he hadn't expected was Ranma to use the front gate.

Genma blinked and adjusted his spectacles, watching the gate itself lethargically swing open to admit the boy. The father instantly knew something was amiss as Ranma took his first steps onto the property walkway. There was no energy to his gait. His clothing was a tattered mess. His very walk was bereft of the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu. The elder Saotome came to the conclusion available given the facts...

...His son had gotten his ass _beat_.

Genma's jaw ground down at the very thought. Who, what, where and why didn't matter. What did matter was that there were now two topics on Genma Saotome's 'to-do' list: First, instruct his son on his duties as a husband. Second? Remedial hand to hand combat instruction. The part time panda dropped off the roof without a sound, his stealth aided by the elongated shadows of the evening. He took up a final position behind a nearby tree and waited for his son to close the final few steps that would seal his fate.

_'Three, two, one,'_Genma counted off rolled out from behind his cover charging Ranma in a blur. "You've been slacking, Boy!"

Genma noted his observations were correct even as his initial combination blazed in on the unaware martial artist. His surprise had been total and it was a minor miracle that Ranma even pivoted into the attack with enough reaction time to dodge the first three strikes. Genma's kicks were wasted on a deflection courtesy of his son's bracer, but the fifth strike in the combination blew clean through his offspring's guard. His fist tagged the pig tailed teen's shoulder, destabilizing his stance and opening more holes to be exploited.

"Dammit, Pops! I'm not in the mood for this shit!" Ranma protested loudly as he fought to recover from the initial assault. His shoulder took a hard hit and he rolled with the punch while attempting to extricate himself from the setup. Already aching joints protested as he spun on the momentum and turned the impact into a spinning roundhouse kick.

_'Too slow!' _His brain screamed as he watched his father duck under the foot, catch it in his left hand then used it to jerk him back into close range. Ranma's ribs blossomed with pain as his father took advantage of his completely unprotected right flank. It was perhaps a small favor that those ribs had already taken their share of beatings for the day, and the pain's fullest measure was blunted by numbness.

"Where have you been, Boy?" The bespectacled martial artist queried rhetorically as Ranma attempted to break contact once more. Genma would have none of it, and followed his son's retreat while issuing a verbal scathing. "Don't even think about ducking out of your responsibilities to Akane!"

"I ain't duckin' nothing!" Ranma snarled, narrowly dodging a punch meant for his head. Unfortunately, he took the jab aimed at his arm, which promptly went numb. The junior Saotome profiled away from his father's next strike, continuing his shuffling retreat. "And I don't need this crap!"

"You'll take whatever crap I give you, lazy boy!" Genma continued to press his offensive, both verbally and physically. He feinted with a three punch combination and went low with a leg sweep once Ranma had committed. To his credit, Ranma saw the feint nearly instantly, but nearly instantly wasn't good enough once his abused body was taken into consideration. Ranma jumped back, but took a glancing brush from the foot, compromising his balance. His retreat turned into a stumble and Genma went for the kill in the form of a flying kick. "Now you'll get back in the house and apologize for whatever it is you need to apologize for!"

"_FURO-TO!"_

Ranma's frustrated cry stopped Genma instantly. Not only did it stop the elder Saotome instantly, but it stopped him in _mid-flight_, effectively bringing an end to their brawl. Much as Ranma wanted to produce a smile as sinister as the person who had taught him the spell to begin with, he was much to pissed to wear anything but a smoldering glare.

"Now it's time for you to listen old man," The pigtailed teen all but growled as the days frustrations overflowed onto the only target available. It was too much and Ranma's gaze flashed menacingly across the floating man. "I don't want this shit and I don't need this shit. Take a hint for once and-"

"LET ME DOWN, BOY!" Genma bellowed, thrashing in midair much the way his son had only hours earlier. "Show me how you did this and maybe I'll help you deal with Akane so-"

"Me and Akane don't need your help, dammit!" Ranma cut him off in frustration as righteous indignation over his father's idiocy finally boiled over. "You or old man Tendo, for that matter! You both need to just butt out and let us handle it!"

"Insolence!" His father retorted, still trying to figure out how to return to earth. "You obviously can't handle it yourself! Why if it weren't for our-"

Ranma responded by flicking his hand to the left. _Hard._Genma in turn suddenly flew to the left and hit the Tendo property wall at high speed. The sound of shattering stone and mortar almost wanted to make Ranma cringe, but he knew his father could take it and walked over to the dazed parental figure. Genma was still shaking his vision clear of the dark spots when Ranma stepped up to him, his expression still all business.

"From now on, you're gonna let us handle it our way." The teen martial artist issued the ultimatum even as Genma struggled to regain his footing. "No more plans. No more marriage ambushes." Genma lunged and found himself floating once again. His son shook his head. "I could throw ya into another wall and you still wouldn't listen, would ya?"

"Boy-!"

"Guess that's a 'No'." Ranma finished dryly and quickly evaluated his options. With little in the way of patience, Ranma opted for one that he usually would never had considered; one that Hild had steadily influenced for a while now. Genma's eyes widened as his son suddenly shifted into a redhead he knew all too well. She too wore the same unpleasant expression.

"Boy, how did you do that?" Genma asked hesitantly, suddenly forgetting the necessity to beat some sense into his son turned daughter, or that he was even floating to begin with.

"Found a cure, pop." Ranma stated, continuing to fix her father with a frosty glare. She melted back into a boy seconds later, causing Genma to gape. "I'm bettin' you would like one too."

"Damn right I would!" His father exclaimed, hope suddenly blossoming much as it had earlier in the morning upon finding out Soun had the nannichuan in his possession. His son shifted once more into his female aspect, and a cold, lifeless smile began to grow across her face. Genma suddenly felt a sinking pit in his stomach.

"Then you're going to do _exactly as I say_." She stated without emotion. It was clear that she now had his undivided attention and she used it. "Me and Akane don't need your help. We don't _want _your help. If you or old man Tendo pull any more of the shit you pulled today, I'll make sure you never see this or any other cure, got it?"

Genmas mouth opened to respond but his daughter had already turned on a heel to saunter off in a decidedly feminine strut. Seconds later, the spell that had been confining him to the air failed and he plopped to the ground; almost without notice. The thought to give chase crossed his mind, but it was balanced by the fact that he had just pissed off the only person he knew of with a real, live cure.

_'Let her calm down a bit_,' Genma rationalized easily as he picked himself off the ground. Too many thoughts were going through his head concerning the last five minutes, and he need time to get things straight. The Saotome patriarch watched his neo-daughter round a corner and disappear from sight.

Also disappearing from sight was the once clear road to the Tendo-Saotome pact.

* * *

"**S**tupid old man," Ranma muttered as she rounded the corner, adrenaline still burning in her veins. She angled off the walkway and hopped the nearest wall, leaving the Tendo property for the back alley. Things had turned to crap. That wasn't how it was supposed to go, but it did. Moreover, she realized why it had. _No more good options_, she concluded; an observation born of Hild's insight. That particular confrontation had been coming for a long time, possibly years, but she had put it off in the hopes that her father would back off.

_'No such luck there_,' The redhead grumped as she followed the dark alley out into a side street. Streetlights dominated the night now and Ranma paused on the sidewalk she now found herself on, replaying the confrontation over in her head. She had let the old man go unchecked and this was the result. Moreover, it had taken two trump cards just to reign him in. '_Which is what I get for waitin' so long, right Hild-san?'_

The question may have been rhetorical, but that didn't make the underlying logic any less accurate or poignant. Ranma sighed, realizing that her only solace in the entire confrontation was that it almost appeared as if she had gotten through to the stupid panda. _That_ she could count as a victory.

_'Bought us some space, Tomboy_.' Ranma nodded to herself, even if the aforementioned tomboy didn't know it herself yet. The thought bolstered her confidence slightly, which allowed her to let some of the resentment slip away. How much time, however, all depended on her ability to string her father along with the implied promise of a cure.

_'Need ta calm down and think this through_,' she decided and took to the nearest rooftop where she could be free from prying eyes. She jumped lightly from house to house until happening upon a suitable location, a moderate sized warehouse roof nine blocks away that she had used more than once when peace and quiet at the dojo was a luxury that couldn't be bought. The martial artist landed on the edge of the roof and made her way around the air conditioning units to the clutter free center, stepping into the initial stance of one of the lower impact katas known to her since childhood.

_One hundred and eight steps_, Ranma visualized her initial move and thrust a fist outward, then pivoted off to the left as if to avoid an imaginary attack. The visage of a panda came to mind as she did so and the martial artist revised her moves on the fly_. Sidestep, Counter attack._

The Panda had been neutralized for now, literally and figuratively. Her foot flashed out and her father's furry persona evaporated in her mind's eyes. The fiancées came in next and Ranma slid backwards across the roof in order to create space. '_No. Offense,' _she countermanded her instinct to avoid conflict and moved to engage Ukyo first. The Gambling King had ensured she didn't have a legitimate claim, but knowing that and actually getting her to realize that without destroying their friendship were two different things.

Ranma ducked under the swing of her battle spatula and pushed three rapid fire pressure points into her arms and chest. The girl went down and the martial artist spun around to meet Shampoo's bonbori already in their downward stroke. She stepped into its arc and disarmed the Amazon at the wrist, chopping at them with the knife edge of her hand and sending the weapons tumbling. She wasn't the real threat and Ranma rolled out just as Cologne joined her, stabbing at the rooftop Ranma had just occupied with the point of her cane.

The Amazon's had no real claim beyond that of village law and personal slight. Cologne blurred in, the tip of her cane leading the attack like spear point. Ranma dodged the figment of her imagination hastily and renewed her own attack. Her fists met the old Ghoul's solid guard, though she expected no less. Without Cologne, Shampoo's claim was nothing. She was the equalizer. Ranma hopped back out of another blurring strike and considered the old woman who now waited patiently in her mind's eye. Her threat, however, remained and Ranma knew she didn't have an effective counter to her presence. She cocked her head as an idea trickled across her awareness. With it came a slight smirk

_'That might actually work,' _Ranma decided, dismissing Cologne and Shampoo for the moment. Akane replaced them, but she had neither attacked or even taken a stance. The redhead smiled at the girl while acknowledging what she represented. '_We're workin' on it, right Tomboy?'_

The girl remained still, but a new presence flared at the pigtailed teen's back. Ranma spun around to engage with a roundhouse kick, only to pull it short in shock.

_Mother._

The kimono clad woman woman stood in wary stance, katana fully deployed and ready for action. Nodoka began to circle Ranma, who in turn jockeyed for her own position. The chestnut haired matriarch shuffled forward with respectable speed, sweeping the katana laterally. Her son-turned-daughter retreated a step to let the blade pass, then advanced three quick steps; literally yanking the blade from her grip and throwing it back off the roof.

_'If only it were that easy_,' Ranma grumbled as a new katana literally materialized in the woman's hands. Ranma hopped up and out of range as Nodoka renewed the stroke. Ranma studied her measured pace and careful advance._ 'What do you want, mom? What will get you to put that thing down once and for all?'_

Unfortunately, she already had an idea. Nodoka began to close the distance again and Ranma put theory into action, willing her gender to shift into that of a male. His mother instantly produced a radiant smile; the katana dropping from her hand voluntarily. The black haired boy melted back into a female and his, now her mother snapped the katana back up.

_Dammit,_ she sighed in frustration. It was the happiness she wanted for her mother, but it was happiness at the expense of her own. The now female martial artist shook his head. '_There's gotta be some other way to neutralize ya... '_

"This ain't helpin'." Ranma decided after a moment of silent introspection and broke the kata off. She stepped over to one of the air conditioning units and sat on it as a variety of emotions played out through her head, yet the calm center that the kata was supposed to have inspired had done anything but. '_What to do, what to do...'_

_A distraction_. Ranma smiled as the idea came to mind and she had just the distraction necessary to take her mind off the day's stress. Her hand flicked out and in it was a scroll she had obtained two days earlier, but hadn't been able to study for lack of opportunity. '_And now's as good a time as any,' _The redhead decided, her mood lifting for the first time since meeting Hild earlier in the day.

Ranma's fingers traced the seam of the Malcanthet's scroll and breached the red wax seal easily, allowing her to unfurl its meager length. She angled it to catch the streetlights better and found an unassuming ink chart comprised of two detailed illustrations of female body- front and back -and several dots interspersed across their surface. '_Pressure point map,'_The martial artist decided as her study flicked from one sketch to the other while noting the placement of the dots. Their labels, however, were completely incomprehensible. Whatever language the scroll had been drafted in, Ranma realized that she most certainly wasn't the target audience.

_'Good thing Martial Arts is a universal language_,' The redhead smirked and fingered what looked to be a sticky note tucked into the remaining roll of the scroll. Ranma fished the yellow square out and read the terse note scrawled in blue ink.

_Special Technique: Physical enhancement, female type._  
_Don't forget to use your ki!_

_-M-chan_

Ranma chuckled at the heart scrawled next to 'M-chan's' signature and pocketed the note as her gaze flicked back to the diagram. Six pressure points, three you had to tap multiple times and one very nearly close to being too private to mention. That she could handle, especially being all alone on the rooftop in the middle of the night. the pigtailed girl gave the pressure point map on last look and committed it to memory as she would any other martial arts technique then went to work.

The first was easy and she reached around to just above her shoulder blade along the left side of her neck. Ranma ensured the points matched and gave it a ki enhanced press. Two was likewise mundane, though slightly harder to get to in the small of her back. She had to pull up her shirt for number three and gave the soft flesh of her left abdomen three quick taps. Number four was likewise easily assessable and she held the point longer as indicated by the long line that had been drawn with the point. Number five was series of taps right below and inside the hinge of her right jaw.

Number six was where the martial artist hesitated for a fraction of a second, then committed to the follow through. Her hand plunged down her Chinese pants and trace up her left inner thigh to the point where her leg nearly connected to the rest of her torso. She tapped in twice and pulled away. Ranma waited for several seconds and was about ready to question the technique when the world wavered, as if she had suddenly lost her equilibrium. The redhead clutched at the air conditioning unit, though by the time she had, the disorientation had passed.

_'Weird,'_ She observed, shaking her head. She hopped up off the metal frame and took an experimental step, then two. Sensing no change, Ranma threw a punch in practice. It was quickly followed by a more rapid combination. Its normalcy only heightened her curiosity. _Maybe it enhances strength, _she mused and began to search for a suitable target to test her theory. The rooftop was found lacking, which meant she would have to find a park or something in order to-

_**FIRE.**_

The world suddenly turned white as Ranma Saotome's insides liquefied with molten need. Her knees gave out half a second later and the martial artist fell to the roof's gravely surface; her awareness melting and pooling into the erogenous zones of her biology. She couldn't catch her breath nearly fast enough.

_'Oh... Oh shit!' _

It was the only thought that managed to push its way through the log jam of neurons firing simultaneously as the impossible pleasure began to visit itself upon the anatomy she had never before paid attention to. What started as a modest flame roared into a bonfire, causing Ranma to buckle and flop over onto her side. She began to spasm in time with the waves of heat licking her body. The inferno beckoned her; begging for her participation.

Staring without sight out into the cloudless night sky, Ranma arched her back and _screamed_.

* * *

**A** glorious shaft of daylight crept up the contours of one Akane Tendo's face as she slept soundly, half wrapped up in a tangle of pastel blue sheets that bore the evidence of a fitful night's sleep. The shaft of illumination had seen steady movement through a gap in the blinds since sun up, traversing the centimeters over the youngest Tendo's mouth, up across her nose and finally, after several hours, prepared to burn her retinas away.

That was if the smell of cooking didn't get to her first.

The delightful aroma wafted across Akane's nose, slowly pulling her from her slumber back into the land of the living. That alone was more effective than any alarm clock, and a yawn extricated itself from her mouth as she stretched. In the end, Kasumi's cooking and the morning rays of light worked together, blinding the teenage girl the moment she opened her eyes.

"Uhg!" Akane squirmed in an attempt to save her sight, kicking the sheets free in order to gain the necessary mobility to escape. She slid off the bed with the barest shred of awareness, stumbling through the sheets even as another yawn racked her modest frame.

_'Morning,'_That fragment of intelligence identified, roughly guessing the time at around eight am since the family could all but set time by Kasumi's meal schedule. Automation took over from there and Akane fumbled with the her room door, stepping out into the hall after a brief battle of wits against the doorknob. The walk to the end of the hall helped to awaken her marginally, though another portion of her awareness already knew that wouldn't truly happen until she had had a decent soak in the furo.

Her hand reached for the door, only to watch the handle jerk away of its own accord as the restroom door itself slid open. Akane stopped short and looked up to find a person well known to her; one she hadn't seen for most of the day yesterday.

She also looked like hell warmed over.

"Ranma?" Akane blinked, taking in the bedraggled sight now standing before her. The redhead was clad in her usual attire of a red Chinese silk top and black pants, though both looked as if they had seen their last battle. While fraying and tears dominated the clothing, Ranma herself didn't look much better. Her hair was a sweat-matted mess and the bags under her eyes all but screamed 'late night'. Akane hesitated with her next question, all but knowing the answer. "Are you... alright?"

"Oh, hey Akane." Ranma mustered a weak smile, leaving the girl unsure if Ranma had been expecting her presence or not. The distracted note in her response became more and more obvious as she continued. "Yeah, I'm fine. Really."

"Really." The youngest Tendo challenged doubtfully. "Late night?"

"Something like that." Ranma nodded. Akane could sworn the redhead was looking _through _her and not actually at her. "Really late night. Say, ya mind if I use your room to change? Don't wanna deal with the Panda right now."

"Um, sure. I guess." the fiancee agreed to the unusual request, eyeing the martial artist warily. "What time did you finally get in anyway?"

"Ah, sometime around... around..." Ranma's blue eyes gained a distant look. Akane watched Ranma's mouth hang open with her last word for a moment before a shiver wracked her frame, followed by several panting breaths. The pigtailed teen grasped the door frame for support, shaking her head clear before returning her attention to a wide eyed Akane.

"Sorry... Sorry about that..." Ranma took a deep breath, her eyes seemingly lost focus. "Did I mention it was a late night?"

"I think you did." Akane nodded carefully, completely uncertain of what just happened.

"Alright. Gotta have a... chat with somebody. See ya later." The girl nodded and stepped around her, angling for her bedroom in an almost zombie like manner. The door clicked closed, leaving Akane Tendo alone in the hall and wide awake.

Three hours later, Ranma was all but ready to slit her own wrists as a young lavender haired succubus lead her down a familiar arched hallway tiled blood red marble with black marble supports somewhere deep within the bowls of hell. The martial artist threw a token nod in the chatty demon's direction, trying to appear as if she was listening while simultaneously desperate for eight fluid ounces of mental bleach. Or a cyanide pill; whichever she happened upon first. If one were to judge Lilith by her physical appearance, the sex demon couldn't have been more than thirteen years old. The one sided conversation she was carrying on with Ranma, however, spoke of far too much bedroom experience for the pigtailed teen's own good.

Or sanity.

"Then after I had my fill, I let Etna and Carrera take turns." The little demoness effused happily, detailing the entire sordid affair to Ranma, who in turn fought desperately to keep the tick off her face. Lilith's red stiletto boots clicked in time as she led her charge to their destination. "There was still enough energy left after that so we all three went in together. You know, he makes the cutest face when he lets go! It scrunches up like this!"

Ranma made a concerted effort to scrub the girl's imitation from her mind's eye while her brain desperately screamed:_ 'Change the subject! Change the goddamn subject!' _So she did. Or at least tried. "So, um... Where is he now?"

Lilith's chipper expression slipped into an apologetic look. "We lost him. One moment he was safely strapped to the bed, the next he was gone. Isn't that odd, Daimakaichoko? I mean we should have found him by now!"

_'At least that means I don't have to go saving his dumb ass_,' She thought before addressing the girl's concern directly. "I, ah, wouldn't worry too much about Ryoga. He's pretty good at the whole gettin' lost and escape thing."

"Ooooh. More restraints next time. Gotcha." The red eyed girl nodded knowingly, her attitude picking back up. "Thanks for the advice, onee-chan!"

_'Spoke too soon.'_ Ranma decided with a mental wince.

"By the way, you smell absolutely _delicious_." Ranma's eyes widened; her cheeks flushing pink with the unlikely observation. The smiling succubus pressed for details even though Ranma's thought process had frozen. "So how was it?"

"How... how was... what?" The redhead stammered in panic, staring at the girl with bug eyed denial and the vain hope that the demon wasn't suggesting what Ranma thought she was suggesting.

Lilith took another sniff around her personal space and produced a sly smile for her benefit. "You must have been at that all night long. On-nee-chan's been naugh-ty!"

"ACK!" Ranma chocked and tripped over her own feet, falling face first into the marble. It took a moment to fully peel her face away though the impact had done nothing to lessen Ranma's incredulous expression. "I, ah... I mean...How... That's, ah..."

"The residual lust chi in your aura," Lilith winked cutely, then turned a lidded, sultry expression onto the Martial artist. "I can help you with that, if you want."

The succubus stepped in front of Ranma with an eager gleam in her red eyes. Ranma gulped and stepped back; her own heartbeat pounding in her ears like a jackhammer as the last night's memories trickled back to the forefront.

"Now, now, Lilith-chan," The calm voice caused Ranma to snap her head around toward the waiting double doors they had been closing steadily on, finding a taller, more shapely female clad in little more than loose hanging silk toga that shimmered like black oil. The high succubus smiled lazily at the pair. "You are _her _toy, not vice versa. Should Ranma-chan desire your companionship, I'm sure she will make her position known."

"I was only trying to determine Onee-chan's position, Malcanthet-sama," The lavender haired demon pouted, but returned to Ranma with a cute wink. "After all, there are _so man_y."

Ranma choked on her own tongue once again with the blatant suggestion before Lilith's superior intervened with a patient look. "Ranma-chan and I have business with one another. Run along before I am forced summon your sister to punish you."

"Eep!" Lilith yipped, but spared a hasty bow for Ranma before being consumed by the corridor shadows. "See you soon Daimakaichoko-chan!"

The redhead was about to breath a pent up sigh of relief with demon's disappearance; at least until Malcanthet turned back in Ranma's direction with a mild tisk. "And _you_should know better than to tease poor little Lilith like that."

Relief evaporated like a snowflake on the very turf she stood upon. Ranma stared at her with bug eyed disbelief at the accusation. "ME? What'd I do?"

"While the scent of temptation suits you quite well, you all but beg a succubus or incubus of lesser restraint to, shall we say, sample you." The woman answered while her barbed tail swished with mischief.

"THAT'S YOUR FAULT!" The martial artist railed fiercely, pointing an accusatory finger at the High Succubus. It also just happened to be the entire reason she had made this particular jaunt to hell to begin with as her irritation over the entire incident finally found an outlet. "You and that ecchii scroll! I thought you said it was a martial arts technique!"

Malcanthet cocked her head thoughtfully, putting a single index finger to her chin as she considered the complaint. "Martial arts? I am a _sex demon_, child. What use would I have for a martial arts scroll?"

"But- But you!"

"Nor do I recall mentioning a word of martial arts at any time to either you or my instructions for Lilith." The demoness overrode the redhead' s objections in a matter of fact tone. "Any assumptions that the Oni Nushi Shikiyoku Bakudan was a martial arts technique were yours and yours alone."

"It's not my-!"

"Did you enjoy it?" The demoness favored Ranma with a secret little smile instantly stopped the flow of words from Ranma's mouth. It hung open for several seconds as horrible truths ran headlong into unchallenged preconceptions, creating neural gridlock.

"I didn't-!" Denial hung on the tip of Ranma's tongue. It all but screamed through her brain to be acknowledged like the well worn path it was through her thoughts. '_I'm a guy, dammit, and that never happened!' _Her tongue attempted to work again in order proclaim that obvious fact. Again it failed. It encountered resistance.

It encountered the truth.

Two years ago Ranma had stepped foot into Nerima as that manly ideal with a condition he wouldn't have wished on his worst enemy. He was a martial artist; a man's man afflicted by the ultimate expression of femininity: A redhead teenage girl with looks to die for and a body to match. Two years could also change a man, and it had this one as well. In that time Ranma had applied what he had been taught on the long road of Anything Goes mastery: to overcome, adapt and improvised; however unwillingly at times.

That philosophy had been redefined by the Queen of the Damned, initially by her head games and then further by the unlikely nurturing she had provided. She had planted the seeds of acceptance; that Ranma Saotome, gender cursed heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts had nothing to be ashamed of. The curse was merely another viewpoint, and he- she -could be both. In that soil, the seeds planted by Hild were finally yielding fruit in the form of a single word that hesitantly wrest itself from Ranma's throat; almost against her will.

"Mh-Maybe...?"

Malcanthet smiled gently, stepping up to the unusually vulnerable looking girl. The admission had obviously torn a large chunk of her normally boisterous self confidence away, leaving uncertainty in its wake. the succubus curled a sharp black wing protectively around the pigtailed teen, lifting her chin her index finger so that her eyes met her own.

"Then we shall talk about it, imouto," The woman stated, ushering Ranma into her lair through the waiting double doors. She patted the girl on her head affectionately. "And perhaps when that has been satisfied, we will see about getting a similar technique for your male aspect."

Ranma Saotome gulped with trepidation, but found herself unable to refuse.

* * *

"**S**o how was your day, Hikaru-kun?" The student turned his head right to study the older female dishing rice out onto his plate. Hikaru simply stared for a moment as the person aptly labeled his mother finished with the rice and doled out a portion of grilled fish. To her left, his father waited an answer expectantly.

"Take any good photographs?" Gendo Gosunkugi asked, focusing in on his son's silence in the hopes that he hadn't run afoul of the school bullies yet again.

The silence stretched indeterminately until both parents had ceased their meal preparations in favor of a concerned look meant for his person. The junior classman frowned, knowing that he would have to either answer or face further suspicion.

"Today was fine." Hikaru answered simply. "The cleansing of the Kora'katar pits was performed with fewer casualties than expected. I myself devoured eighteen of the damned in that section before the purging was complete."

He waited for a reaction from the pair. Both stared for a moment. Then smiled.

"It sounds like you had a very productive day, Hikaru-kun." His mother nodded happily and renewed her meal preparations, pouring him a glass of tea.

"So no bullies then?" His father confirmed. The result was a a dour look turned upon the man.

"I have possessed your son and will now summon the remainder of my host to scour this world of you pathetic insects." Hikaru Gosunkugi paused in his declaration, taking on a more introspective look. "Tell me where the most powerful resistance might lie, and we may save you for last."

"Oh, I hear the Sailor Senshi in Juuban battle demons all the time." His mother commented, picking at her own fish with a set of chopsticks. "Is this for one of your fan fictions, dear?"

"Juuban. Sailor Senshi." The student repeated, committing the name and location to memory. "They shall be the first to fall under the claws of Xang."

"That's nice," His father agreed absently, having already engrossed himself in the newspaper and thus tuned out to the rest of the conversation.

"Sounds exciting." His mother smiled and proffered him a bowl filled with light tan crisps. "Shrimp crackers?"

The possessed shell of Hikaru Gosunkugi favored the woman with a malevolent look before coming to a decision concerning her fate.

"Yes, please."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**  
See? I am still alive. New job and its hours have been putting a serious dent in my schedule, but things promise to even out later. Beta-ing Starwars Old Republic didn't help much either ;) The good news is that HiaMA 11 is almost half done, so the turn around time on that should be minimal. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. I read each and every one :)

**Shai-Hulud;** _The spice is life.  
_  
**Grue;** _You are likely to be eaten by one._

**Oni Nushi Shikiyoku Bakudan**_; Translates to 'Ranma-chan'. Actually, no it doesn't, but you can pretend it did if you want to ignore all the previous ANs :D  
_  
**Special Thanks; **All yas. You know who you are by now and its 1am. I'll catch you in ch11. My profound thanks.

**Misc Notes;** _Still tracking down the source of italic run-on formatting. Not sure where its coming from, just that it uploads like that since its not on my master copies. Might try a straight copy/paste next time and cut the ffnet uploader out of the loop._


	12. Chapter 11

**Hell is a Martial Artist  
**Chapter 11**  
**_By Ozzallos_

**S**oun Tendo's finger hovered above an ebony disk, contemplating its fate in relation to the other round white stones relative to its position. His tactical positioning in the upper left quadrant of the board was secure; his joseki had safely occupied the upper right and lower right corners of the board, and had been holding ground against his adversary's more aggressive tactics.

The Tendo patriarch glanced up at the stone faced man awaiting his turn at the board. If there was one person that knew his every trick and stratagem in go, it was Genma Saotome. Even now Soun was certain the man was layering contingencies upon contingencies within his own plans. It was one of his specialties. For every strategy the man initiated, there were layers to be peeled back like an onion. What looked to be his final gambit almost never was, while the execution of his plan was replete with false leads, feints and redirection.

Much like the man's very life.

It was, of course, what made Genma a Master of Anything Goes, but it also placed the man in some very unusual situations. Soun mentally cringed at some of the turmoil the man's maneuvering had wrought. It was also his best friend's single biggest flaw. When his plans worked, they achieved victory by overkill. When they didn't, they failed _spectacularly_. Soun glanced up at the man once again, who in turn attempted to look unconcerned through his spectacles. In the last two years, he oft wondered how their grand design concerning the children would end.

Soun set his finger down on the piece, rocking the stone along its curvature as he considered the likely outcome of their mutual family venture. The last time one of Genma's plans had gone bad, they had found themselves apprenticed to The Master. The mustachioed man suppressed a shiver with the remembrance.

"They've been getting along pretty well lately. Eh Tendo?"

Soun was jostled out of his reverie, finding Genma staring over his shoulder with a slight smirk, as if he had divined his thoughts via supernatural means. Soun glanced back to find Ranma and Akane sitting outside on the back porch chatting amicably with one another. He nodded in absent agreement with his friend's observation. The last week had been relatively rancor free for the pair; a marked difference from even just a week ago. They were talking. Without yelling.

It was _amazing_.

His first knee-jerk reaction to the unlikely wellspring of hope was to shore their odds up as much as possible, such as arrange an impromptu date night for the budding couple. Or possibly not. If Akane and Ranma's behavior was atypical, Genma's reaction was absolutely dumbfounding by refusing to buy in to the date night plan.

_'Let them alone, Tendo-kun.' _Soun remembered his best friend's' words at the time, staring at the man as if he had spoken a foreign language. Genma Saotome didn't leave things alone. He meddled. His character was marked by impatience. But to leave their children to their own devices when the very future of Anything Goes was at stake? It was boarder-line impossible. And yet every time Soun had tried to press his best friend into action over the last week, Genma resisted, insisting that the couple just needed time to themselves. Even more perplexing, it looked like the bald martial artist was actually right.

"Indeed they have, Saotome-kun," Soun murmured his reluctant agreement. A note of disbelief could still be heard in the Tendo patriarch's voice, but seeing was believing: Son and daughter were indeed getting along. The man turned back to his long time friend, allowing a smile to cross his face. "I guess we can finally relax and enjoy the good life."

"Don't tell me you had doubts, Tendo?" Genma smirked. Soun produced a weak smile for his benefit since they both knew how touch and go it had been with their two children for a while.

"Of course not, Saotome-kun." The mustachioed martial artist nodded agreeably to the rhetorical question. Someday they would look back on these last two years and laugh. Soun returned his attention to the board between them. His eyes widened in horror. "M-My positioning!"

The entire board had been rearranged. What had once been his strategic fortress in the upper left corner was now riddled with tactical faults only the blind could have missed... Or somebody who had been artfully distracted for several crucial minutes. Genma's smirk only widened with his best friend's sudden panic, but even this was old hat between them. Go was a simple game. Repeatedly placing one another in adverse tactical scenarios to be overcome, however, was a _real _challenge.

He chuckled as Soun's finger floated indecisively around the board as the man attempted to extricate himself from the truly horrible position he now found himself in. It gave the bald martial artist another moment to watch the couple on the porch as they got up and began to walk off into the beautiful day. Like Soun, he too wanted to hedge their odds of success as much as possible; to capitalize on this new found relationship. Unlike Soun, he couldn't do so, nor could he allow his best friend to do so in his stead.

Genma Saotome was being held hostage at proverbial gun point.

Even as the pair walked off, Ranma Saotome paused; looking into the house, across the living room and directly into his father's eyes with a cool stare, as if he too knew the man's very thoughts. The pigtailed teen held the cold look for another moment and Genma Saotome's smirk slipped from his face as the message was received loud and clear.

_"Interfere and you'll never see a cure."_

The boy broke off his stare and followed Akane out of sight. Genma held the breath he had been holding for another moment before letting it loosed with the slightest shiver.

* * *

"**B**ut I still don't understand why I have to come along." Akane glanced to her right and noticed Ranma's easy smile as the pair walked down the street under a blue sky. While she didn't know her fiancé's exact destination, but it was a nice day and she had nothing better to do. The girl smoothed out the yellow sundress she had chosen for the day while watching the boy next to her.

"'Cuz it's important." Ranma replied mysteriously, twirling the drab green hat that matched his mao shirt and pants. He turned a confident smirk her way. "Besides, you'll like it."

"Alright," She conceded reluctantly but still pressed for information while keeping pace with the martial artist. "But _what _will I like?"

Ranma's smirk gained another few centimeters as he savored stringing Akane along. "Well, y'know how you've been harpin' on me to deal with the other girls and crap?"

"Yes...?" Suddenly their path of travel became obvious to Akane and she considered the Saotome warily. This was the street that, after a quick left to cut through an alleyway, would only lead them to one of two places.

"Well I've been dealin' with the old men." Ranma stated, his smile slipping a fraction. "Wonder why they aren't botherin' us?"

The youngest Tendo simply nodded. As a matter of fact, she _had_been wondering why her father and Mister Saotome weren't pressing them into ambush dating or some other insane and completely unnecessary match making bid. She turned a skeptical look on her fiancé now. "So you're saying that you...?"

"My old man, mainly." Ranma nodded as they took the predicted left at the alley, all but assuring Akane of their destination now. "Got him to back off for a bit."

"That's... never worked before." Akane wondered, following Ranma with slight amazement. "I mean, _how?_"

"That," The martial artist smiled with a lengthy pause. Akane hung on it until Ranma winked. "is a secret."

"Idiot." Akane rolled her eyes, but turned her attention to their destination. "And this?"

"Time to put the women and children to bed." Ranma answered confidently. "Still not so sure how to deal with Ucc-chan, so I'm hittin' Shamps first."

"You... You're actually going to do it?" Akane blinked, unsure if she had heard the words coming from her fiancée's mouth correctly. As if to answer, the alleyway came to an end and Ranma made a right turn onto the sidewalk, bringing the Neko Hanten into sight. Another thought suddenly sprang into her brain; one that filled the girl with anticipatory dread. "But Cologne. Isn't that a bit risky?"

The pigtailed teen stared at her worried gaze, dumbfounded by the statement. _It's been risky since she got here and you're just realizin' that?_He balked silently, but managed to suppress the rebuke with dry humor. "Well, she's only a few thousand years old. Shouldn't be that hard."

Akane continued to stare as they closed in on the restaurant. After a moment she nodded and her hand silently found Ranma's own. The boy looked down in surprise at the offer, but wasn't about to dismiss the show of affection or confidence. For once, everything seemed to be going right.

He only hoped the next few minutes would go that way as well.

Ranma gave his fiancée's hand a reassuring squeeze and they stepped into the breach known as the Cat Cafe. Immediately obvious was the lack of traffic, but that was easily explained by the time. The lunch rush wouldn't hit for another hour, and only three of the dozen or so tables were currently occupied. His sight immediately caught on a purple haired Amazonian teen servicing them cheerfully, at least until the lavender silk clad waitress noticed Ranma and Akane standing in the doorway.

Shampoo's face flashed a frown that was only visible for a fraction of a second before it was replaced by an all too bubbly facade aimed squarely at Ranma, ignoring Akane completely. He felt Akane's hand tense up in his, prompting him to squeeze back as if to will trust into her.

"Airen!" The Amazon bounced forward, now completely ignoring the table she had been serving. Ranma stepped back, though Shampoo appeared oblivious as she stepped lightly toward the pair. "Shampoo too-too happy to see! Thought Airen dump kitchen destroyer!"

Anger simmered in Akane and she opened her mouth to respond, only to feel another reassuring squeeze, reminding her that this was Ranma's game. The fiancée still simmered but she could abide. For now.

Shampoo launched into a smothering glomp, only to be brought to a halt by Ranma's next words. "Need to see the old ghoul about our arrangement."

The girl suddenly stopped, staring as if to piece together her husband's intentions. After a moment and a thoughtfully cocked head, she nodded, her ever so cheerful mask returning. "This one will get grandmother right away."

One of her customers put a hand up to gain the purple haired girl's attention, but she bounced right by, disappearing into the back kitchen. She returned moments later; her soft footsteps accompanied by a tapping sound as the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku hopped behind her via cane. Both ignored the beckoning customer on their return trip.

"You have business with me, Son-in-law?" Cologne asked without preamble, already having noted the close proximity of Akane Tendo; hand in hand no less. She smiled, making it a point to notice it. "And I suspect with not so good news, hmmm?"

"Ya already knew what was comin' so I'm just here to make it official." Ranma stated conversationally. If he was worried about the outcome, it showed neither in his posture or demeanor.

"So you've finally seen reason and are going with my Shampoo." Cologne nodded sagely, as if the purpose of his visit had been a foregone conclusion. "Of course, my great grand daughter is thrilled."

"Now Airen and Shampoo can-"

"We're done, Old Ghoul." Ranma cut Shampoo off, ignoring her for Cologne before she could become a distraction. "There ain't gonna be anything between Shampoo and I."

"But Airen!" The lavender haired girl suddenly protested, but Cologne held up her hand in a bid to silence her heir.

The old woman's face took on a grim countenance. "I'm afraid that's impossible, Son-in-law. You know Amazon law."

"I also know that I ain't in China last I checked," Ranma folded his arms, seemingly impervious to the subtle threat. "I've decided and that's all there is to it."

"That is not 'all there is to it' boy," The gray haired elder hopped into the martial artist's personal space, her voice now filled with calm menace. "All the more irrelevant given that you acknowledged our law in a public proclamation to Shampoo herself; or are you so keen to forget the Reversal Jewel debacle? What of your word, Son-in-law? What of your-"

"-Honor? Bullshit." Ranma scoffed, taking his own step into Cologne's space. "If ya had any of your own I might actually care."

"You tread on dangerous ground, son-in-law." The elder's eyes narrowed menacingly. "I could easily inflict another pressure point on you if you insist-"

"And that's exactly the shit I'm talkin' about." Ranma shook his head, stepping away from the woman as if no longer taking her seriously. Inside, it was all he could do to contain the fear with the very technique she had taught him. "Funny how everybody wants me to take on impossible odds then throws honor in my face when I push back, huh?"

"Do not attempt to pass your own short-comings off on others, child." Cologne continued to cast a dour look upon the pair.

"Yeah, could say the same about you." Ranma shrugged uncaringly. "I thought this was all between Shampoo, Akane and me. Where do you come on this again?"

"I'm here to ensure a male doesn't shirk his responsibilities to my great-granddaughter." Cologne retorted coolly, losing patience.

"Because she can't hack it." Ranma finished, earning a leaded glare from the matriarch even as Shampoo sputtered denial but the martial artist continued without respite. "So here you are helpin' Shamps do the job she can't and you're gonna beat me with the honor card? Nah, don't think so."

"Shampoo can too hack!" The younger Amazon protested, but was largely ignored by the pair.

"Then let's explore the more unpleasant options available to us." Cologne brushed a lock of white hair back over her shoulder, readying for action.

"Yeah, let's." Ranma returned, his flippant demeanor suddenly vanishing. It was replaced by deadly seriousness as he uttered his next word. "Happosai?"

_"Sweeto!"_

There was a blur between the Amazon pair. Cologne snapped around to find a familiar face bounce up onto the nearest table, pipe in one hand and a pair of pastel blue panties in the other. Shampoo looked stunned as she patted around her hips, then looked to the pair of panties the old master was rubbing against his cheek. Even Akane gasped in disgust. Happosai turned back to Ranma. "Ah, that hits the spot, m'boy!"

"What is this?" Cologne hissed at her great-granddaughter's violation, her leaded gaze snapping from Ranma to Happosai and back, unsure of which was the greater threat.

"It's called evenin' the odds, ya Amazon mummy." Ranma stated, his emotionless glare never leaving the woman. "You made these rules, so it's about time I started playin' by them."

"Happi," Cologne turned back to the old master warily. The panties were tied to his belt now while the pipe occupied his left hand. "This doesn't concern you."

"Afraid it does, Cologne-chan." The pervert replied without concern, taking a puff from his pipe as if to express just how unconcerned he was.

"Then what would it take for this to be a _private matter_between the Saotome boy and I?" She inquired, seeking a way around the threat his very presence posed.

"I'm afraid you don't have the connections." Happosai stated cryptically, leaving Cologne without conversational recourse. He glanced over to Ranma. "What now, m'lad?"

"It's easy," Ranma returned his attention to the elder Amazon. "All you have to do is sit this out, Old Ghoul. If you don't, I give Happosai the word to make your life a living hell."

Cologne's eyes flicked back and forth between the pair. "And Shampoo?"

"Already told her I wasn't interested," Ranma shrugged, gaining a measure of flippancy back now that he was back on secure tactical ground. "But whatever happens, it's between us. Not you. Or we really start explorin' those _unpleasant options_."

"Ranma-"

The martial artist noted with some pride that it was the first time Cologne had called him something other than 'son-in-law', but ignored her nonetheless. He retook Akane's hand. "Let's go, Akane."

"See you soon, Cologne-chan!" The old master exclaimed as he bounced out the door behind them.

For the next fifty meters, Ranma was primed for some form of pursuit or last minute gamble by either woman. It wasn't until seventy five meters that Ranma finally relaxed, finding his fiancée staring at him.

"You really did it."

"I think I did." Ranma nodded, still somewhat surprised it had all gone so well.

"But Happosai?" She glanced up at the old gnome hopping the rooftops above them. "That's kind of cruel and unusual, even for you."

"Yeah, maybe." The martial artist shrugged. "But we're talkin' the 'obstacle is for killin'' people. Already brainwashed you once, remember?"

She did. It also made her feel a fraction less concerned about using Happosai against Cologne, allowing her to move on. "So what now?"

Unlike the last time, Ranma had an answer. "Ukyo, but that'll have to wait. I think one of these a day is the best I can do. Hate this crap and Ukyo's only gonna be harder."

"I see." Akane murmured with a slight nod. And she could. Almost. Ukyo was almost a friend; certainly more so than Shampoo in the competition for Ranma's hand. Her thoughts turned to a nagging question, however. "But how is it-"

_SPLooOSH!_

"Ack!" Ranma's exclamation was accompanied by the clang of a tin bucket bouncing at the now female martial artist's feet. '_Figures_,' she thought, staring up at the several open windows in the stories above without a clue as to where it had come from. It had happened too quickly to force the transformational override and even if she had, would then have had to explain it to Akane. '_Once things are settled_,' she promised herself.

Akane was found flattened against the wall and thus avoided most of the water, receiving only a few minor splashes for her trouble. Also obvious was the fact that Ranma, now a girl, was soaked. The sight produced a minor giggle as she focused on the redhead's perky anatomy. "One of these days you're going to have to think about a bra."

The comment tore Ranma away from her skyward search, prompting the martial artist to smile. She motioned down to her wet mao shirt and well developed charms with a mischievous smile. "Yeah, but why would I hide all this?"

"Pervert." Akane rolled her eyes, taking a shred of humor away from the obvious joke and resumed walking. Ranma matched her pace easily and retook her hand.

"_Not now._" The youngest Tendo whispered, pulling her hand back as if it were about to touch something hot. Ranma blinked, staring down at the hand, then Akane, who was pretending nothing had happened.

"Why not now?" The redhead asked, her tone bordering between curiosity and offense.

_"Because you're a girl!"_Akane whispered back in a scandalized tone while actually creating extra space between their persons.

_"And what's wrong with two girls together?" Malcanthet asked lazily form her throne; a well padded seat replete with long razor spikes, strategically placed silk and leather woven together and worked into a frighteningly artistic form. Around her, several men lounged at her feet in various revealing black leather outfits. One served her grapes from a golden bowl, from which the succubus' barbed tail stabbed at delicately to be eaten._

_"But its... That's... It's perverted!" Ranma rebuked from her own seat, which bore neither as many spikes or as much silk and leather. Still, it was comfortable and she had bigger things on her mind than infernal fashion and upholstery. A mental picture flashed through the redhead's brain. It featured herself and Akane in an advanced state of undress and a tangle of compromising positions._

_Ranma's cheeks instantly pinked._

_"Says who, hmmm?" The High Succubus challenged loftily. "Is love and desire such a small thing that it can be contained by mere gender?"_

_"I... I don't know." Ranma murmured after recovering from the rather explicit visual. It was a heavy talk with even heavier implications. For all her martial arts prowess, her life experience concerning matters of the heart and the libido were pitifully small and their conversation only highlighted the fact._

_"I do, child." Malcanthet reassured her. "Love... lust... desire... It takes infinite form with as many outlets. I seriously doubt the small minds forcing this girl and that girl upon you can truly comprehend such a concept."_

_"But as girls? I mean how does that even work?" Ranma boggled, prompting a mischievous smile from the succubus. _

_"Quite well, actually." The woman showed a length of fang in her smile this time and Ranma swallowed hard. The demoness cocked her head, caressing the two meter long curvature of her horns thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should summon Morrigan and Vecca for a practical demonstration..."_

_"NO!" Ranma blurted suddenly, causing the Succubus Queen to blink, then frown as the martial artist continued to gibber. "I mean, ah, don't really ah... need a demonstration."_

_"A pity." Malcanthet stated simply, then smiled, rethinking the matter. "Then possibly two of my harem males will-"_

_"Nononononono!" Ranma shook her head violently now, all but ready for another round of mental bleach. She studiously ignored the hungry smiles from the harem males in question._

_The High Succubus sighed. "I fear you shall never loosen up at this rate, child."_

_"I don't need demonstrations." Ranma crossed her arms, her body language firmly set in a defensive posture. Her face, however, was still a mask of uncertainty. "I just... I'm... I'm tired of bein' the pervert."_

_"You are less a pervert a more a slave to their ideals," Malcanthet shook her head, rising from her throne to accompany the girl beside her chair. Ranma watched her graceful movements, but it was her words that registered in her conscious mind. "Moreover, they simply don't understand your position. You are both. They are not. They expect you to conform to what they know, not what you are."_

_"I..." Ranma hesitated in confronting the existential dilemma that she had never known for the past two years, yet had always been there. She wasn't like the people she knew in both martial arts and the curse "I... what am I?"_

_"Whatever you want to be." The demoness smiled patiently, patting the girl on the head. "Moreover, however you desire to be it. Do you find women appealing?"_

_"Um, I guess." Ranma answered without too much in the way of deep thought. 'What guy doesn't like a cute girl? Unless they're homicidal nut-'_

_"Even now?" _

_Ranma's mental rant stalled as the woman to her right drilled the point home with ruthless efficiency. The martial artist's thoughts were once more force back to a rather ecchi scene featuring herself and Akane, forcing Ranma to gulp audibly. Malcanthet merely giggled._

_"And there is the answer to your overly existential question, imouto." She smirked. Her tone became more serious with her next inquiry, however. "The flesh you wear is merely a means to an end. The question then becomes can the object of your affection reciprocate?"_

Much like she had during her talk with Malcanthet, Ranma was forced to silently contemplate the dilemma. This time was different, however. This time she had the aforementioned object of her affection right beside her, doing her level best not to look embarrassed. The redhead frowned as the unintended slight sank in.

"So I'm a girl now." She pressed, her blue eyes staring at the youngest Tendo even as the girl did her best to ignore the attention. After a moment, the Tendo broke, her head snapping around on the martial artist impatiently

"Exactly, and girls don't hold hands like_ that._" Akane's replied testily, finally stopping to confront the topic directly. Her face took on a suspicious look. "You're not planning anything perverted, are you?"

Ranma's mouth opened, torn indecisively between a diplomatic reply and a scathing rebuke for the assault on her ego. In the end, her mouth hung silent for a moment too long.

"I... Yuka and Sayuri asked me to go shopping." Akane sidestepped the issue all too obviously, starting off in another direction. Her tone of voice turned artificially chipper, as if to spare her fiancé any hard feelings. "See you this afternoon, okay?"

She didn't wait for a reply. Ranma watched her turn the corner, stunned into immobility and silence even as the girl walked out of sight.

Unseen from the building above, Happosai watched the scene play out on the rooftop edge. Beside him stood another bucket rippling with cold water and waiting for gravity to take hold of it. It would, of course, require a push, but there was no longer any need for that since the first had done its job. The old pervert simply took a puff from his pipe and shook his head in sympathy.

_'Better you find out sooner than later, boy.'_

* * *

"**B**ow before the demonic might of Xang the Devourer!"

The statement had been designed to inspire fear; effectively scattering the insects around him in order to incite large scale pandemonium. The demon would enjoy watching the terrified mammals run in a pathetic effort to escape, then summon his brethren to reap the harvest. There seemed to be minor wrinkle in that plan, however.

Nobody was running.

In fact, Xang noted with some irritation he had developed a crowed of curious onlookers, standing aside to watch what he did next. _So be it_, the demonic thrall of Hikaru Gosunkugi growled. "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOULS AND FEAST ON YOUR CHILDREN!"

The junior classman thrust his hand out and conjured a two meter fireball composed of mana and hatred; his eyes began to glow menacingly. He snarled at the crowd and sent the fireball into the sky, where it promptly exploded in a sizable display of pyrotechnics. Xang returned his attention to the crowd, fully expecting to find chaos and panic. Instead, the onlookers looked amazed.

And clapped.

Xang the Devourer's cheek twitched, and a furious red aura erupted around the otherwise unassuming junior classman's form. Concrete began to blister and crackle with the heat transference and what had once been the body of Gosunkugi began to tremble violently. A pair of horns grew like burning embers off the side of his skull, curling like a wicked knife point even as two more smaller horns punched their way through the flesh of his forehead. Half meter long talons similarly grew from the teen's fingers and he finally turned his flame lit gaze on the crowd. Now they took an uncertain step back.

_"Run, worms." _Hikaru hissed. This time, the crowd had the good sense to panic. Screaming erupted from the general vicinity and the demon Xang began to cackle evilly, reveling in the mass of fear. Another fireball of roiling mana was conjured in the demon's left hand and he sent it streaking into a parked car nearby. It was immolated in a spectacular explosion, causing people to run for their lives. Behind it, a crepe stand was evacuated. It was all pink trim and cute advertising and offended Xang's sensibilities. The crepe storefront blew out violently as a new fireball impacted, erasing the dessert establishment from existence.

_Much better,_ Xang decided and turned back to a large panicking mob. The evil grin returned to his face once more and he lit another sphere of immolation. Then he frowned. It was _another _one of those horribly, offensively styled crepe stands! The demon's aim vectored three degrees left and fired. The stand had few patrons left that hadn't already evacuated and those that saw the fireball swing to bear on them quickly did so as well. Pink siding and plaster cartoon mascots died by fire moments later, showering the area with flaming debris. The demon possessed Gosunkugi snarled, picking out another crepe shop across the street; this one marked by a veritable rainbow of colorful artwork.

A third dessert shack spontaneously detonated.

Had Xang the Devourer delved deeper into the memories of the student known as Hikaru Gosunkugi, he would have realized that the launch pad he had chosen for his invasion lay squarely in the Harajuku district of Tokyo; known for its exceedingly odd fashion, astronomical rent, and of course, quite possibly the highest concentration of crepe outlets in Japan. In short, it was a target rich environment and all the cheery colors with their promises of tasty sweets were pissing him off. Crepe stands four and five quickly followed the first three, sending plumes of fire into the air as he cackled manically at their destruction.

"But why is he destroying crepe stands?" Sailor Venus cocked her without a clue; unable to resolve why this particular demonic evil had chosen to target dessert hangouts on its road to world domination.

"Maybe he just doesn't like crepes." Sailor Jupiter shrugged, equally perplexed. Another boom shifted the air around them, but its potential had been muted by the time it reached their rooftop position three blocks away. It ruffled her brunette mane slightly as she looked on. "I mean, at least he's not hurting anybody."

"Maybe we should just leave him alone." Sailor Mars suggested reluctantly. "It's not like there isn't one on every-"

"STOP FIEND!"

"So much for that," Rei mumbled as Sailor Moon hopped the rooftop, landing twenty meters away to confront the demon directly. Sailor Venus, Jupiter and Mars reluctantly jumped in behind her. They almost wished they hadn't with their leader's next statement.

"Crepes are symbolic of the fruity crème fillings of friendship to be enjoyed by the people who love them, not destroyed for demonic amusement!" Usagi proclaimed, pointing her finger indignantly at the blinking demon thrall. "In the name of the Moon, you shall be punished!"

"I swear those speeches are getting worse," Makato whispered over to Rei, who nodded with brisk agreement.

"I HEARD THAT!" Usagi snapped back, ignoring the demon for the moment as she rounded on her friends. "Taking our enemies to task is crucial to the dispensation of love and justice!"

"Can we just fight him already?" Minako complained, gesturing to the fuming youma. "All work and no play makes for a bad moon on the rise."

"Don't you mean a black moon?" Mars tilted her head, considering the statement. The blond shook her head.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's a bad moon." Minako insisted.

"Well the black moon clan was bad," Makato inserted, weighing in on the conversation. "That would make them bad moons too, I guess."

"Okay, a bad, black moon on the rise." Venus decided with a nod.

"_**SILENCE!**_" The demon thrall Hikaru Gosunkugi roared, instantly earning the four guardians' undivided attention. The blaze of his fury died off once all eyes were on him and he favored the girls with a cruel, fanged smile. "So you are the infamous Sailor Senshi, hmmm?" He began pacing, eyeing the girls hungrily. "I do so hope you have got your things together, Guardians. In fact, I hope you are quite prepared to _die_."

"Like we don't hear that five times a day." Sailor Mars rolled her eyes in sarcasm, earning a dark chuckle from the possessed junior classman.

"Then I would submit to you that your previous adversaries were of inferior quality," Hikaru grinned, buffing his talons across the button up shirt he wore. "You may call me-"

"_MOON TIARA ACTION!"_

The initiation of hostilities caught everybody by surprise. _Everybody_. So much so that even Sailor Moon's entourage was caught flat footed, staring as the girl took advantage of her opponent's distracted state and sent the golden shining tiara down range. Her surprise had been so complete that less than a second of flight time remained between the disk and Xang's head before he recovered from the shock, jerking his head to the right just as the weapon flashed mere centimeters to the left of his skull and _through_one of the curled horns it bore.

Xang was dodging even as his smoldering horn tumbled to the ground. Usagi was not. In fact, the entire setup bore more than a passing resemblance to her weeks of training: A high level threat. Food stuffs at risk. Automation ruthlessly drilled into her kicked in and she instinctively took the opening the demon presented. The infernal being dodged left off the sidewalk in order to evade her tiara. The blond however, was already charging up for her next attack.

The youma had barely recovered, then promptly received a solid pink beam of power straight to the chest. Hikaru Gosunkugi had only a moment to brace and the condensed beam of pink mana hammered Xang's natural magic shielding, blasting the demonic thrall into the ground and plowing fifteen meters of street before rolling to a stop in a cloud of dust.

Makato, Rei, and Minako could only stare, their eyes wide for the girl who now stood ready in a Teiji Dachi martial arts stance, ready to deploy another attack as necessary.

"That was..." Sailor Mars' stare snapped from the blond to the dust cloud and back, while her brain attempted to conjure a descriptive for what she had just witnessed.

"That was almost cool." Sailor Venus blinked, her eyes also wide in amazement.

"Whoa." Makoto agreed, her studied gaze noting the basic martial arts stance and how effectively the neo-princess had dispatched the demonic threat. It was a move that any competent martial artist could have countered, but their enemy wasn't exactly a martial artist. Two years ago, the girl would have struggled to deal with an opponent so efficiently...

_...or so ruthlessly_, the Senshi of Jupiter struggled for a sufficient adjective, surprised by the one she came up with.

"NOT SO FAST!" A male voice roared and the cloud exploded. The thrall Hikaru Gosunkugi burst forth from the amalgam of concrete dust and dirt. Three of the four Senshi turned into the renewed threat and braced to counterattack even as the demon blurred into point blank range; it's dagger claws bearing an angry fireball.

_"Venus Love Me-!"_  
_"Burning Mandal-!"_  
_"Sparkling Wide-!"_

Xang was inside their range within a heartbeat, his fireball bearing down on the same target that had already bested him before the other Senshi could even execute their attacks. Their intervention was also completely unnecessary. While it wasn't Anything Goes, Ranma had drilled the blond in basic hand to hand instruction hard over the last two months, and his methods insured that it stuck.

Usagi pivoted on the ball of her foot and stepped back to present her attacker with a minimum profile as he leaped in at high speed. The hand bearing the incandescent mana reached in and she sidestepped efficiently, snapping her own hand out to deflect Xang's arm along the inside of his wrist. The fireball went one way, destroying a post box for its trouble in a fiery blast. The demon tumbled wildly into an abandoned freight truck, demolishing it and its cargo.

Three Senshi continued to stare, their stupefied gazes alternating between the now crumpled truck and the teenaged princess that had wrought the destruction in the first place. They were all just about to utter their amazement when a yellow flash of intense light sudden lit up Usagi's frame, causing the girl to spontaneously detonate where she stood. Jupiter, Mars and Venus caught the periphery of the fireball as the blast wave took them in hand and slammed them to the ground. As the primary target, Sailor Moon wasn't so lucky and took the fireball's energy directly. The explosion ejected her from its radius violently, sending her into a fifteen meter tumble that ended with her plowing into a fashion storefront, collapsing the entrance with her impact.

Opposite of her, Xang had picked himself out from the ruins of the truck, his clawed hand smoldering from the retaliation.

"You girls still have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?" The thrall Hikaru sneered as the Senshi recovered their senses. Usagi was barely crawling out of her own pile of rubble as the demon continued his rant. "While I would certainly enjoy playing with you in this under powered body, world domination waits for neither man nor beast. It is time to summon my brethren."

Usagi fought through the coughing fits as she staggered upright, taking a lurching couple of steps while attempting to piece together what she was seeing through her temporarily blurred double vision. The fireball had hit her hard but she had been hit by worse over the last year and change. While not entirely debilitating, it was giving the youma the time it needed while Sailor Moon collected her wits, watched as an angry red aura began to boil off Xang.

The ground around the demon thrall came alive, glowing with a series of concentric circles pulsing with symbols around their radius. The debris at the demon's feet seemed to quiver slightly, then outright lifted themselves off the ground as if gravity had simply been turned off. Venus, Mars and Jupiter were all watching the same scene play out as they too picked themselves back off the battle scarred street. Xang clenched his fists defiantly and the angry aura around him seemed to intensify. Four more summoning rings flared to life around him: Left, right, front and back.

"That's a summoning field!" The priestess of their group realized as she and the other collected themselves. Sailor Jupiter took the urgency of her words to heart and thrust out her hands, bringing them to bear on the target.

_"Supreme Thunder!"_

Lightning was called down from the cloudless blue sky, using the guardian as a lightning rod. The magically guided electrical storm ripped through her body and coalesced into her white gloved hands where it leaped away, tearing through the intervening space and into Xang at the speed of light. Lightning danced around the demon, tearing angrily at the earth as it sought a point of entry through the array. A deafening boom marked the attack's limit as the electrical assault died off. The street around their opponent was utterly devastated. The opponent himself, on the other hand, was untouched and cackling madly.

_The four girls would have definitely been a challenge in this weakened body,_Xang admitted to himself as the summoning field ablated the attack in full. As it was, he could only channel a fraction of his own power through Hikaru Gosunkugi's frame and even that was beginning to take its toll. He had tried for five summons, only to find his skin starting to burn and flake away.

Four would have to do. For now.

_Pathetic,_ he balked at the circumstances that had lent themselves to his possession of the teen's body, but beggars could hardly be choosers. He would summon those he could, establish a beachhead and continue to summon in waves. '_And then the domain of Midgaard shall be mine_.' Xang grinned evilly as the field around him made its connection to the infernal plain. _Hild-sama will have no choice but to appoint me as its overseer!_

A fire based attack splashed against the screens of his ward, but he paid it little mind. There was little chance that they would disrupt a summon in progress since it was actually drawing on the power of the Nidhogg now and not just his own mana. The four arrays around him erupted into gouts of flame. Forms within began to take shape and the Senshi stepped back as a group, hoping for some opportunity to counter-attack. The cylindrical pillars of fire began to compress along organic lines that stood eight feet high and were only now taking on a vaguely humanoid shape.

"The hurricane gathers; the end shall come soon," Hikaru Gosunkugi chanted as the power of his own summoning circle built up around his person. The flames adjacent to him began to knit into fiery bones and organs. "The rivers of blood overflow! I call upon the voice of rage and ruin!"

Ambient power hung in the air heavily and the demon drew his own talons across his left hand. Blood dripped onto the summoning circle with warm splatter. _"DEMONIC SUMMONING!"_

The inferno around him flared up like a contained tornado as the gathered magic found its outlet and funneled into the summoning field. The sudden drop in pressure cooled the air around the Senshi, condensing the ambient moisture into an eerie light fog that enveloped the battlefield. The flames setting it a-glow died off, leaving their area suddenly cold and lifeless. The harsh sound of pavement crumbling beneath feet riveted the Senshi's attention to the figures stepping out of the fog... Horns. Teeth. Hooves.

"Oh_ shit_." Minako whispered while some separate part of her brain noted that their gangling arms were dragging alongside them; their meter length talons scrapping at the earth as they advanced. Rei merely produced a terse nod, already knowing this wasn't going to be their normal run of the mill fight against canon fodder youma. These were the real thing.

Usagi's own wide eyed stare flicked from demon to demon as they came to a stop in a loose line, parting for the much smaller figure that had summoned them. All in all, they looked like terrifying reptilian minotaurs, not the possessed vending machines she was used to fighting. The girl fell into a loose tiger stance through sheer automation, even though fear gnawed at the periphery of her senses. Hikaru Gosunkugi's fanged smile favored them as he presented the teen guardians to his entourage.

"This is our opposition." He stated with no small measure of arrogance. One of the demonic minotaurs snorted.

"You called us... for this?" It's voice rumbled as it passed a doubtful judgment.

"They will make enjoyable playthings," The other off to the far right decided with slightly more, if twisted optimism.

"If they survive." A third grumbled, flexing its talons menacingly.

Xang was only mildly disappointed that not a single girl cowered before their number. Of course, he couldn't have known they had been down this road before, even if their previous opponents had been less menacing. Regardless, the threat was the same and each of the four took up their own attack stances. The demon mere smiled arrogantly at their defiance.

_"Take them."_

For the Senshi, words were largely unnecessary. Despite their teenage tendencies, all four knew how the other would react through actual battle experience. The four newly summoned demons charged in a wall of talons, fangs and horns. Fire and lightning met their advance, staggering one of the hoofed demons outright, while it partner on the right flank was knocked flat on its back by Sailor Moon's own Gorgeous Meditation. Gosunkugi watched the demon skid back by him in disgust while the remaining two closed into hand to hand combat range.

Venus whipped around and pointed a single index finger into the third demon, raking him with a solid beam of charged mana that was unfortunately the wrong tool for the job. The Crescent Beam had excellent penetration and punched through the infernal being's frame as if it were tissue, but apparently failed to hit anything vital. The demon winced in pain, but continued its barreling charge, head butting the blond brutally to send her tumbling across the street and into a car.

"VENU-_OOF!_" Rei's distraction and concern cost her as she took a fireball in the face courtesy of the forth demon, knocking her to the ground like a fiery sledge hammer. The concussion manhandled Makoto along side her, but the Senshi rolled with the kinetic wave of pressure being a martial artist herself and retaliated with her own bolt of lightning through the skid. The infernal youma was just about ready to curb-stomp the stunned, smoldering priestess further into the crumpled asphalt with a huge spiked hoof when the lightning bolt flashed across his scaled body. The damage was fair, but the neuro-muscular failure the attack created was priceless, allowing Sailor Moon to rush over and bodily pull the Senshi of Mars out from under the demon while it twitched uncontrollably.

Youma number three was hot on her heels. Usagi flicked her tiara out once more for a shot from the hip and golden disk arced in, checking the monster's advance as is cowered in a defensive crouch. The glowing scythe had been meant for the demon's head, but found a protective bicep instead, gouging a huge slice through flesh and muscle before executing its return arc.

_"RAWWWAARRR!" _

The beast bellowed in pain and was ready to renew its attack when a new line of condensed mana ripped through the same arm. The youma tried to turn toward the direction of the attack, only to be impaled by another golden white lance. Sailor Venus had extricated herself from the wrecked car and was found pirouetting around on the ball of her foot for another attack. A third Crescent Beam punched through its torso, then another through the leg as the girl continued her offensive. Five beams impaled the demon in the next eight seconds as Sailor Venus danced through her attack, forcing the creature to its knees as its healing ability fought for parity.

He was, unfortunately, only one of four youma. The demon electrified by Makoto was finally shaking off the effects of its shock and began to circle the trio of girls warily, while they in turn helped Rei to her feet. The demon was soon joined by the other two, while the fourth hung back in recovery. Behind them, the thrall Gosunkugi cackled madly.

"And to think this is merely the first wave you face." He sneered, shaking his horned head. "Soon I will have enough power to summon the next and you will be overwhelmed."

"Our friends are on the way!" Sailor Moon rebutted fiercely. "And when they arrive, love and justice will rain down to smite you... you bad, evil youma, you!"

"Then hopefully they are of better quality of opposition than yourselves," Xang merely tisked, as if mildly disappointed. "Though I'm afraid there will not be much left of you by the time they arrive."

"I'll give you one last chance to reconsider your evil-"

"Finish this," Xang rolled his eyes and walked off. One of the demons leaped forward through the air, his claws outstretched for the neo-princess while the others rushed in behind him. Time slowed for Usagi as the demon fell from it lunge, its shadow covering her even as she considered some desperate last minute evasion. She instinctively slid into a stance and watched his dagger claws fall upon her in slow motion. The timing would have to be perfect. Usagi brought an arm up...

_**BOOOM!**_

A bright blue flash exploded against her vision, followed by the harsh wash of overpressure as something crashed into the demon from the side, effectively removing it from combat like an airborn jackhammer. The flash was immediately followed by a black haired teen that rode the demon into the ground on its head, savaging it with three brutal kicks that beat the youma into a shattered crater. Sailor Moon stared incredulously at the pig tailed boy wearing an all too familiar green mao shirt as he flipped off the dazed monster's torso to land next to her.

"C'mon, Bunny. You're making me look bad here!" Ranma turned a smirk on her, causing Usagi to all but choke in panic.

"B-Bunny?" She squeaked in denial. "I don't know what Bunny you're talking about!"

"Yeah, and I'm just teachin' everybody a tae kwon do-kempo variant," He snorted, turning his attention to the remaining two creatures. The third was completely unconscious and the forth had barely recovered from its wounds enough to stand and stagger over to the brawl. Ranma jabbed a thumb back to the remaining three girls. "I'm bettin' they're your friends, but damned if I can make the connection by lookin' at em."

"You... You're completely mistaken." Mars stammered in a last ditch effort to maintain the facade.

"_Hiiii, Ranma!_" Sailor Venus' honeyed voice swooned, immediately shattering any hope of maintaining said facade. She waved at him and winked.

"And that's gotta be Minako-chan." Ranma laughed, prompting a defeated sweat drop from Mars. The martial artist then returned his attention to the now wary demons. He cracked his knuckles; his grin turning downright cold. "Let's wrap this up and then ya can tell me all about the magical girl thing."

"Ah, alright. I guess, um, Sensei." Sailor Moon hesitantly abandoned any pretense of deception and returned to her own stance.

"You presume far too much!" Somebody hollered and Ranma had to look around one of the demons to see the source. It was pale looking teen with bags under his eyes. The school uniform he wore looked like it had seen a battle, but it definitely look like a Furinkan uniform. Ranma blinked as the pieces fell into place.

_'Remove the horns, subtract the fangs,'_ Ranma stared, and the conclusion dropped from his mouth with a slight edge of disbelief. "_Gosunkugi?_"

"So... you know this one?" The demon possession smirked, crossing his arms arrogantly. "A friend of yours, perchance?"

"Eh, not exactly," Ranma replied as he wondered what had happened to his anemic classmate. The near English accent was particularly grating. '_Probably more magical bullshit,' _He surmised, a hypothesis quickly confirmed by the boasting demon.

"I borrowed his body," Xang stated almost apologetically. "But then it was only fair since he did offer it to me."

"Contract?" Ranma arched an eyebrow, trying to figure out the demon's angle. The question only prompted a wider fanged smile.

"Ah, a connoisseur of the arts. Fascinating." The thrall noted with amusement. "But alas, no. The boy was barely even a novice and failed to bind his seals properly. I gnaw on his frightened little soul as we speak."

"How could you inflict such torture on an innocent human being!" Sailor Moon balked only to find Ranma glancing back with a barely caring look.

"You wouldn't believe how many times he's tried this crap," The martial artist motioned to the boy across from them. "If it wasn't this, it was voodoo. Or spells or somethin'. Finally bit him in the ass."

Usagi frowned at her sensei's description of the boy's predicament, but couldn't necessarily argue with the logic if he had such a long track record of mystical malfeasance. Still, now that the Gosunkugi boy was clearly a possessed human, she had just the tool for the job. "Sensei, if you can hold him down, I can remove the demon from your friend."

"Got a better idea." Ranma's muscles tensed. "How about I just beat his ass until he lets go?"

Usagi blinked and opened her mouth to provide a counter argument, but the pigtailed teen was already gone in a blur. When she could finally track him clearly, his fist was buried in the stomach of the closest reptilian minotaur, sending the beast upwards with an audible 'oof!'. A hammer hand attempted to knock Ranma aside, but the martial artist intercepted the effort and leveraged it, throwing the demon to the ground. The second still mobile demon stepped in with a heavy downward stroke of its talons and Ranma simply batted them aside and unleashed a Moko Takabisha into his chest. The youma was blown up and back when the ki saturated sphere detonated.

His first opponent began to remove itself from the ground once more and this time it took a solid beam of golden light straight through its forehead just as Ranma was about to deliver a final punch. The demon staggered back and fell over anti-climatically, allowing the pig tailed teen a moment stare at the now disintegrating beast, then back down the vector of attack. Sailor Venus stood in place, her index finger pointed down range. She pulled back as if it were a gun and gave him a saucy wink for good measure.

Ranma couldn't help but to snort his amusement at her irreverent antics and turned back to the two remaining demons and their master, one Hikaru Gosunkugi. '_Time ta cut the head off this chicken,' _He decided and glanced back at Sailor Moon. "Think you can handle these two?"

"Yes, Sensei!" The neo-princess was already powering up her attack with her sisters in arms following suit. Ranma nodded with the confirmation.

"Good," He decided, turning his attention fully on the demon Xang. "Cuz this asshole's mine."

_"YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!" _The the possessed high schooler raged and conjured a fireball in hand. Ranma conjured a Moko Takabisha in his and the pair charged one another at high speed. Mana met Ki and detonated in a spectacular display of life force and magic even as the girls beyond concentrated their firepower on the two remaining mobile targets.

Blows were exchanged as the pair blurred across the battle torn streets, each exchanging either ki or mana as they did. Ranma kept in close and feinted, acting as if he were powering up another Moko Takabisha. Xang began to power up a fireball in turn, only to watch the teen's ki wink out of existence suddenly, leaving him overly committed with the spell. Ranma ducked around the fireball's intended launch in a burst of speed and pulverized the demon thrall's left flank with a fully uninterrupted volley of Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken enhanced punches.

Any buffer his spell armor may have provided instantly buckled under the three hundred punch assault, sending the fireball wildly away while opening the creature up to a more advanced combination like a can opener. Blow after blow tore into Hikaru as Ranma sent him tumbling down the street. The demon would try to get up and the martial artist would beat him down with damage that far outstripped his ability to heal. Xang took another roundhouse kick and tumbled across the street, barely remaining upright as his glowing opponent followed up.

"I won't... I won't be def-"

The backhand of all backhands ended Xang's resistance, sending the junior classman spinning through a bus stop billboard and into the store behind it with a crash. Saotome paused for a moment to check on the girls. The third demon had rejoined the battle and while they weren't exactly winning, they weren't losing either, which was good enough. He turned back to Xang's crash landing, walking around the mangled bus stop and through the ragged hole that served as the demon's entrance into the store. Ranma picked over the aluminum framework of the structure and climbed inside the shadowy darkness, finding the thrall crumpled against a shelving unit that used to house all manner of sporting goods. He kicked a hockey stick out of his path and stepped up to the ineffectually struggling creature.

Xang caught sight of him and thrust a claw out, creating an anemic fireball that only caused Ranma to favor him with a bland look that clearly communicated that the attack would hinder him in no way, shape, or form. Blue eyes leveled on the beaten demon. "Seriously now?"

There was something in the store particular susceptible to fires of any nature, however, and the outlet's sprinkler systems took particular offense to it. There was a hollow pop and the next thing Ranma knew, it was raining inside courtesy of half a dozen ceiling mounted nozzles. Ranma rolled his eyes as the cursed washed over him too fast to even think of overriding it. "Now see what ya did?"

Xang saw, alright. He now saw a shorter full figured redhead girl in translucent wet silks. More importantly, he saw _who_he had done it to and the demon stiffened in spite of the pain wracking his possessed body. The fire in his hand fizzled and died as he scrambled to prostrate himself before her.

"Da-Daimakaichoko!"

_Again with that weird name,_Ranma puzzled, but prevented the curiosity from reaching her face. Instead, she affected an unamused countenance. "Yeah? And what of it?"

"I... We had no idea that you had claimed these grounds as your own!" It babbled, groveling before the martial artist pitifully. "Had we recognized your other form, we would have never-!"

"Ah, just shut up already." Ranma cut Xang off impatiently while trying to decide what exactly she was going to do with the creature now that her ass kicking had been derailed by the monster's suddenly pathetic nature. She flipped her wet pigtail back over her shoulder with her finger. "Ya really tore up the place, ya know that? And I really ain't particularly happy that you attacked my student."

"A thousand apologies, Daimakaichoko!" The demon whined, then was caught short upon realizing the magnitude of his trespass. "Your student?"

"Then again, it was pretty good training..." Ranma mused, tilting her head as another hearty crash echoed from outside.

Seeing a glimmer of hope that wouldn't end in a few hundred years of torture, Xang sought desperately to extricate himself from what was appearing to be a dire miscalculation. He had imposed on the Daimakaicho's favored and set foot upon her own field of culling. There was no good way that could possibly end well unless he seized the meager strand offered to him in her idle musing.

"Shall-Shall I release the thrall, Daimakaichoko-sama?"

_Thrall? _Ranma blinked. It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about since there was nobody else to release except his nuisance classmate. "You mean Gos?"

"Yes, Daimakaichoko!" The demon could barely keep his voice from quavering.

"I ain't so mad about that," Ranma shrugged. "Guy brought it upon himself. What were you gonna do with him anyway?"

"Consume him once our plans to take over the world had come to fruition." The infernal being answered carefully, only to have Ranma snort sarcastically at him.

"Yeah, that went real well, didn't it?" The redhead berated the idea even as the sprinkler system finally emptied of its reserve. The patter of water died off into lethargic drips. "I doubt you'd get past Yokosuka before stumbling upon somebody who'd kick your ass. I can name half a dozen people off the top of my head."

_Are we that badly out-classed?_Xang wondered soberly, but attempted to rise to his own defense. "This body can only channel so much power... It is truly pathetic."

"That's Gos for ya," The girl commented blandly. "Look, I ain't got time for ya now so get out of here." The demon began to slink off when her musings caught it anew. "On second thought, I may still want to keep ya around to help the girls spar though."

"You... You do?" _No punishment? _The demon blinked, surprised that he wouldn't be remanded to the lava pits. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he was being offered a position as her vassal... A position he'd be a fool not to take given her proximity to the Queen of the Damned. "Would you find it acceptable to use this 'Gos' to keep in contact?"

"You can do that?" Ranma arched an eyebrow in surprise as the demon carefully picked itself up from its groveling position.

"He is mine to consume," The thrall nodded, inclining his horned head respectfully. "Or not. Your convenience is mine."

"Alright, then let him stumble home or somethin'," The teen nodded amiably. "If I need ya I'll just...?"

"...Say my name in his presence, Master."

"Gotcha." Ranma nodded, somewhat pleased with the unlikely outcome. The redheaded girl glanced out the improvised entry way, cocking her hear to listen to the fighting still in progress. "Alright. I'm gonna kick your ass out and you're gonna order a showy retreat, got it? Girls ain't gonna learn much more from this so..."

Ranma grabbed Gosunkugi by the scruff of the collar, inciting a surprised squawk from her victim, then threw him back out the store the same way he came in. The demon bounced across the street and tumbled for a moment before the recovering his senses, cursing. He turned to the battle and a cursory glance appeared to favor his side. _Alas,_he grumbled but found it hard to insert too much animosity into the forced outcome. Not only was there a distinct lack of torture, but the Daimakaichoko herself had offered him a position within her power structure; a sign of favor if there ever was.

It made the decision even easier in the end.

"HELLSPAWN, RETREAT!"

His brethren stopped and stared as he had grown a second head. They were winning, after all. Xang's irritation began to grow._ 'I will not lose favor because of these idiots!'_"I said retreat, you morons! We have more pressing concerns to deal with than these girls!"

Three demons hesitated a moment longer before merely turning back to the guarded Senshi with a shrug, then severed their ethereal link to the prime material plane. The girls blinked surprise with the sudden cessation of hostilities and watched the infernal creatures spontaneously immolate themselves in separate angry pillars of fire. Xang held them with an angry glare for a final moment before snapping his fingers grandiosely through the air, disappearing in his own fires.

Ranma shifted back into his male aspect before stepping out, looking about as if trying to find his adversary. After a moment, he shrugged. "Well that was fun."

"But where did they go?" Jupiter likewise looked around just in case the teleportation by fire was simply a trick to lure them off guard.

"Where ever it is that evil demons go, I guess." Rei wondered, likewise glancing around and failing to find their adversaries as Ranma walked up to Usagi.

"Good moves. Gonna have to work on your footwork, maybe something a bit more advanced if you're gonna be playin' youma tag." He critiqued, looking the girl over, then smiled. "A bit too much reliance on the magical stuff, but we'll fix that too."

The neo-princess nodded with each point, playing the role of a surprisingly dutiful student in the eyes of the other girls as the pigtailed boy continued. "Anyway, we'll talk about it over ice cream." He gestured to the Mars, Venus and Jupiter. "You all too, once I find out who ya are."

"Maybe Mamoru can join us!" The blond effused, causing an almost imperceptible shadow to cross the martial artist's face. The girls likewise nodded with smiles at the promise of help. Ranma flashed them a weak one in return, but pulled Usagi subtly to the side.

"Sensei?" The girl inquired, puzzled and her teacher's voice dropped deliberately lower.

"And, um, when you get a chance I need to speak to you about somethin'." The martial artist hesitated, as if thinking something over as they threaded their way off the devastated street.

"About what, sensei?"

Her innocent tone almost made him want to call the entire thing off, but it was part in parcel to why he had to tell her in the first place. He twisted back around to glance at the other three, ensuring they were safely occupied in their chatter. "It's, um, private. About you and your boyfriend.."

Usagi's eyes widened, but she nodded her assent. Curiosity began to eat her alive.

* * *

**T**he Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku looked out upon the streets of Nerima from the rooftop of the Neko Hanten; balanced perfectly atop a meter's length of gnarled wood as the orange rays of the setting sun traced through the modest skyline of the prefecture. It was, in her eyes, fitting symbolism representing their time in Tokyo and how the sun was also setting on the best laid plans. The Elder sighed as she reviewed the last two years and attempted to trace just where that plan had gone wrong.

Ranma Saotome had indeed proved to be the wild horse of his name sake, but even wild horses could be tamed. They merely required more patience and subtlety than the average male. Had he been that, Ranma's fate would have been sealed the moment Shampoo turned up naked in his futon; which she had already managed several times. She would have taken him with a few choice Amazonian pillow techniques and that would have been that.

But Ranma Saotome was not the average male. He was the premier martial artist of his generation. Worse, he knew it. Not only that, but fate had conspired against their operation at every turn. While Shampoo was a stunning example of womanhood, the martial artist was all but surrounded by prime specimens of physical beauty and most quite willing to bed him at the word 'go'. If that weren't enough, he himself harbored a curse that had done its best to strip the mysteries of womanhood from him and lay it all bare before him. His father had engaged him to females on end; most were formidable fighters in their own right. The child himself absorbed martial arts like a sponge, ensuring that there was no way for her great-granddaughter to catch up and potentially subdue him.

And now, it was looking like the time for subtlety was over.

Leading the martial artist around by the nose with techniques and undermining his confidence in those around him had worked well over the last two years, but something had happened in the last few months. Perhaps it was the encounter with Saffron. Perhaps the child had simply finally grown up and taken the blinders off. Perhaps... '_Perhaps many things_,' the elder shook her head mentally with the admission. Too many things to count given the boy's life, but the use of Happosai this afternoon spoke of a marked shift in the Saotome dynamic. The pair had come to some accord and worse, the boy had the foresight to leverage that accord against her. In short, he was finally making his own decisions and after two years of keeping the child carefully reacting to fires and steering him in the direction that the Amazons chose, he had lit his own.

_'Damn you, Happosai_,' she cursed to the wind, hoping that it would somehow make its way to the singular force that had any hope of neutralizing her plans for the boy. Truthfully, it wasn't entirely his fault, but Cologne maintained a smoldering coal of anger in his name regardless. Happosai was merely her foil. It was Ranma who was finally deciding for himself and she could no longer play her game of shadows. '_At least not so brazenly,'_Cologne thought. Her great-granddaughter was the sole remaining piece in play and she would have to be coached carefully to avoid forfeiting the martial artist entirely.

Cologne glanced back at the waiting Amazon and her lavender silks. "Tell me again what you saw last week. Leave no detail out."

"Airen was training a girl." Shampoo responded in mandarin. They were her first words in over a half hour as her great-grandmother meditated on their predicament. "Other girls were around but he only trained the one."

Cologne merely nodded and drove deeper. "Was he teaching Anything Goes?"

"No Great Grandmother," The purple haired girl recalled the day in question. "Basic martial arts. Tae Kwon Do and Kempo."

_'No wedge to drive between him and Happosai, then,' _the elder decided as she looked for tactical angles to play. "And his interactions with the girl?"

"Airen was a well behaved male," She reported, trying to keep her answers as detailed as possible for her grandmother's analysis. "He also refused the advances of the other women."

_'Surrounded by yet more women, hmm, Son-in-law?'_ Cologne mused silently. It would have been more amusing if not for their current predicament. '_And can it be used to our advantage?'_

The Amazonian elder thought deeply on the matter as the sun crawled slowly toward the horizon, sending a strand of clouds a-blaze in its final rays._ 'His parents_?' Cologne wondered but instantly discarded them. She had already done her level best to weaken what little respect the boy held for either his father or Soun Tendo. It was a well beaten horse in so far as leverage was concerned and one more whipping wouldn't produce the desired break.

_'But there is one person we can always count on,'_She smiled slightly. It would have been a disconcerting sight for those looking upon her in that moment, though only Shampoo bore witness and had but one question.

"What must be done, great-grandmother?"

"We will twist the knife one more time," Cologne began as a plan took shape. "Subtly, child. Your involvement must never come to light in this." She paused, ensuring she had the girl's full and complete attention. "You, of course, know whom I speak of?"

Shampoo nodded as her own pernicious smile took place. "I do, great-grandmother."

"Then go," Cologne ordered. "Allow her to learn what her fiancée has been up to. If she knows, we lose nothing. If she does not..."

"I have not seen her at any of the practice sessions." The younger Amazon confirmed. Cologne nodded, hoping their rival's absence from the practice indicated what she thought it did.

"...If she does not, then we may yet have the opportunity to watch their inane pact burn to the ground for good."

* * *

"**H**e wouldn't do that." Usagi stated with certainty as she walked along side Ranma. The others had gone ahead to the Crown Arcade and now the pair took a longer route for their private discussion. Ranma merely nodded, already expecting the denial from his student and part time magical girl. "Mamoru is completely faithful."

"I know, I know," The pigtailed boy assuaged the odango'd blond as they turned the corner. A streetlight flickered to life; the result of the ever lengthening evening shadows falling across downtown Juuban. "I'm just tellin' ya what I saw."

"Then she must have been coming on to him." Usagi rationalized, prompting a sigh from Ranma.

"Wasn't like that," He shook his head, extracting a grumpy pout from the girl walking along side him. He attempted to explain his position further. I'm just lookin' out for my student and I ain't fond of Don Juans as it is. He was hittin' on her."

"But you never returned to get your books until a few days later." Usagi shook her head as if something didn't add up. "How could you have seen anything?"

"I was hiding, alright?" Ranma returned with a slightly testy edge to his voice then sighed as he realized his trespass. "It's not easy to explain."

Usagi nodded slightly, trying to rationalize her sensei's testimony with what she knew of her fiancé. Sure they had started out a bit rocky but that had changed over time, especially when they knew exactly who the other was. _'We were meant to be together,'_ The schoolgirl rationalized and turned her attention back to Mamoru's defense. "He's been nothing but a complete gentleman through our relationship, Sensei. I believe you, but I_ know _him."

"Yeah, it's askin' a lot," Ranma admitted as he tried to find a way around their respective impasse. "Would it help if I knew the girl and vouched for her character?"

"Maybe she just likes him," Usagi winked. "My Mamoru is devastatingly handsome."

"I don't like him like that!" Ranma protested forcefully, then caught the girl's wide eyed stare and quickly back peddled. "I mean... That's not what I mean!" The staring continued and Ranma finally stopped on the sidewalk with a thoroughly defeated look. "Alright, Usagi-chan. I got somethin' to tell you. Somethin' I've been keeping from ya."

Usagi nodded slowly, taking in her teacher's antics and coming to her own conclusion. "Does... Does Akane know?"

"She knows," Ranma answered heavily and shook his head. "Look, this ain't the easiest for me."

Usagi's expression brightened suddenly and she wrapped the pigtailed boy in an unexpected hug. "It's okay, Sensei!"

Ranma blinked, looking down at the blond wrapped around him. "It... It is? But you don't even know..."

"Haruka and Michiru are the same way." Usagi gave him one more reassuring squeeze before releasing the befuddled martial artist. She tisked him with obvious playfulness. "But my Mamouru-kun is off the market, so you can look but not touch."

"Look but not..." Ranma mouthed the words, blinking several times before coming to the most obvious conclusion in horror. "IT AIN'T LIKE THAT!"

A couple of pedestrians stared as they walked by, ensuring they took a wider path around the pair and their disconcerting outburst. Usagi likewise stared and Ranma's brain fought for a coherent explanation, constructing it on the fly. "Look, you know how you're a magical girl and ya don't want everybody in the world to know it, right?"

The blond girl nodded slowly and Ranma continued. "It's kinda like that."

"Kind of like what?" The neo-princess pressed, seeking clarification.

"Like your magical girl thing." Ranma confirmed. Usagi's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"You're saying you're a magical girl?" She cocked her head, clearly confused now. Ranma frowned as his frustration mounted.

"No. I mean yes. Kinda." He temporized back and forth before settling on an explanation, heaving a labored sigh. "Alright, just watch and promise me you won't jump to some stupid idea, okay?"

Usagi nodded hesitantly as Ranma waited until another group of pedestrians had passed. Once they had done so the blond's eyes suddenly widened in disbelief as her teacher's physic suddenly melted; loosing height and gaining curves that could only belong to that of the opposite sex. A whispered gasp overtook her as she watched his hair brighten to a bright crimson and the clothing slacken along Ranma's new frame, prompting the newly formed girl to pull it taught. Even Ranma's eyes had gained a clearer shade of blue and they watched Usagi, waiting for a reaction from the girl. The pigtailed girl didn't have to wait long.

"You look just like-! But She's-! We-!" Usagi took a step back, her gaze flicking from head to toe and back, then snapped her mouth shut as her brain underwent a mental reboot. Her next question came with an uncertain note attached to it. "R-Ranma?"

"...Saotome," The martial artist finished for the befuddled magical girl, her serious expression gaining a slight edge of mischief. "Sorry about this."

"I wasn't expecting... _That_," Usagi finished with an unnatural pause, staring at the newly formed girl . She began to step around Ranma, as if officially inspecting her. "You... You're a Starlight?"

"No idea what that is, so probably not." Ranma shook her head and decided to tackle the more salient points of her transformation for her student. "I was born a guy and this all started off as a Chinese curse. Had it for two years before a friend of mine gave me some control over it."

"Chinese curse?" Usagi's head tilted, still staring. "So you're not a magical girl either?"

_'Not unless you count McDowell-san's lessons_,' Ranma snorted mentally, but kept that detail to herself. "Nah. Just regular 'ol me."

The blond nodded reluctantly as the shock wore off. Her silence hadn't gone unnoticed and Ranma's cheerful expression slipped into one of doubt. Usagi noticed and hastened to rectify any misunderstanding. "I mean... It's just that you look like somebody I know. _Knew_."

"Heh," Ranma's cheer began to return. "Another Japanese chick with red hair? That I've gotta see."

"Heh." Usagi mimicked, but without the same note of humor. In her mind, thoughts began to chain into one another with clarity born of shock. Pieces began to fall into place as they revisited the previous topic. "And _you _were there? With Mamoru?"

There was no missing the emphasis placed on the word you, assuring Ranma that her current gender identity was the focus. "Yeah, 'me' the redhead. I forgot which body I was wearin' and stopped by to get my books that day."

_'Forgot what body you were wearing?' _It sounded just as ridiculous when Usagi repeated it from the privacy of her thoughts, but set the oddity aside in favor of the more important matters. "And he came on to you?"

"Yeah, and trust me; I've had enough experience in guys comin' on to me." A look that mixed displeasure and pensiveness overtook the redhead's features. From anybody else, the girl's claim might have sounded like boasting, but this one actually was a guy and had a fiancée to boot. Setsuna had even recommended him, which at least implied the woman had known all of this ahead of time. The thought that Ranma wanted Mamoru for himself- _herself_-was briefly entertained before being discarded as ridiculous. Blue eyes once again waited for her to sort through her thoughts, this time all but predicting them. "Want me to to start again?"

"Um, yes. Please." The confused neo-princess confirmed and the pair began to walk once more.

Half an hour later, Ranma was on his own wondering if he had made the right decision as he walked home alone through the falling night. Usagi-chan's confusion had turned to dismay the more he told of her boyfriend's transgressions, but the girl hadn't quite dissolved into the heart broken mass that he was all but sure would result. His student had held herself together, quietly nodding with each damning piece of evidence that Ranma brought to bear.

_Better than some of the chicks I know_, he decided and honored her request for some time alone. That was for the best. It was shaping up to be another late night and by that point it was already well past time to get back to the dojo. Any later and he would be facing Nabiki's interrogation and subsequent extraction of funds from his person. The martial artist spared a moment to berate her interference as he turned the corner, catching sight of the dojo property wall and gates.

_'And now if the old man doesn't give me a ration of shit, it'll be perfect,'_ the martial artist thought as he hopped over the gates, pausing a-top the wall itself to look for his father. Neither man nor panda was present, encouraging him further as he landed on the interior grass and walked up to the door. A quick sniff of the ambient atmosphere brought a smile to his face. '_Dumplings,' _he guessed and his mouth began to water.

He clicked the door open and stepped into the hallway, sliding out of his shoes and then proceeded into the living room where he found his fiancée waiting. He favored her with a nod and she smiled back. Everything seemed alright, but the martial artist couldn't help but to wonder. There was food and by the sound in the dining room, it had obviously been served, so...

"Already eaten, 'Kane?"

The girl shook her head and the pleasant smile remained. "I was just waiting for you."

Ranma puzzled at the comment and the smile, but took both at face value with cheer. "Well here I am, so let's go eat."

His fiancée chose to flip through the magazine on her lap instead. "How was your day?"

"Ah, pretty good." Ranma answered thoughtlessly. The girl smiled amiably and flipped a page. The smile flickered for the briefest of moments and the pigtailed boy was wondering if he'd even seen it at all as her next question came.

"So where were you?"

The subtle hint of danger began to make its presence known as Ranma considered the question, then the now unusually smiling girl who had yet to move from the couch. Had he not been a martial artist or been in close proximity to the girl for the last two years, he wouldn't have noticed the trickle of hostility boiling beneath the crafted smile. As such his answer was carefully neutral. "Was out."

"Out where?" The question still harbored an innocent tone, but the smile had dropped from Akane's face, confirming what his senses had been telling him since stepping into the room.

"Out." He elaborated hesitantly. "With friends."

"What sort of friends?" She asked as the innocent facade was slowly stripped from her demeanor. Her gaze narrowed on him suspiciously and Ranma knew that somehow she knew and was going to rake him over the coals for it. A month ago, he might have let her. A month ago, he hadn't been ass deep in trying to make things work.

A month ago, it wasn't quite so old as it was at that very moment and the girl's demeanor reopened a wound that had been steadily ignored throughout the day.

"What, I ain't allowed to have friends now?" He retorted, unwilling to play the game of conversational insinuation any longer. He was rewarded as Akane's face took on an unpleasant countenance.

"_Girl_ friends, Ranma!" She balked bolting up off the couch as if freed from the chains of acting. The magazine flopped to the floor and she nearly stepped on it. "You've been out with _girlfriends_!"

"And this why I didn't tell ya in the first place!" Ranma reacted to her tone, this time unwilling to back down. '_I'm not a pervert!' _the thought screamed from his mind, hardening his resolve. "Why do ya always got to jump to the worst conclusion?"

"Because you're always proving me right!" The girl stomped around the living room table to confront her fiancé directly. Family began to lean into the dining room entryway to watch the commotion, but neither paid them any mind. "I'm tired of the fiancées, Ranma! I'm tired of competing for you! What were you doing with those floozies anyway?"

"They ain't floozies and I was only teachin' one of em martial arts!" Ranma snapped. He was done backing down and stepped fully into the offensive. "Got a problem with that?"

"Oh, so it's okay to teach some random _slut _martial arts, but not me?" Akane hissed back as her insecurities took a hit. Her eyes glinted dangerously now. "How many women do you plan on stringing along?"

"And how long are you gonna ignore the obvious, tomboy?" Ranma snarked back, causing the girl's jaw to clench in barely contained fury. "When have I ever touched any of 'em? Why the hell can't ya just trust me for once?"

"Trust you?" Akane all but shrieked now. "You're a pervert! A transvestite! God knows what you're doing when people aren't watching! You _can't_be trusted! You can't even be trusted with your own cure!"

Something about that statement sliced through Ranma's thoughts like a molecular knife, stalling out his anger and indignation to focus on it and it alone. "_My own cure_?"

"You destroyed the Nannichuan and the wedding, just like you destroy everything you touch!" Akane continued heedlessly, completely unaware of the cliff she was driving toward at full steam. "You probably would have destroyed it sooner if I had let you know about it!"

All thought stopped in the martial artist's brain with that single revelation. He stared at the girl as if she were now something to be wary of. "You... You knew?"

"And I was right!" Akane proclaimed as if her logic was the lynch pin to her victory. You and your fiancées destroyed everything!"

She struck her hands to her hips and waited for the martial artist's response. Ranma just stared as her words replayed over and over in her mind until they were replaced by a single statement laced with disbelief. "You knew."

"Of course I knew, idiot." Akane rolled her eyes. "And if-"

"You kept the cure... addressed to me... a secret?" Ranma's voice took on a harsher edge as the full import of what had actually happened during the wedding became crystal clear.

"It was for the best," Akane folded her arms imperviously, ignoring the dangerous note inherent in the pigtailed teen's voice. "Father was-"

"IT WASN'T YOUR GODDAMN CASK!" The dam of emotional betrayal suddenly burst as Akane's continued denial hammered the last conversational nail into the coffin. It didn't even matter that a cure was completely unnecessary by that point in the wedding. What did matter is that the girl before him had bent him over time and time again. If Hild hadn't already given him control of the curse, the girl before would have cost him_ another_ cure, this time _on purpose_. Akane's mouth opened up in rebuttal but the martial artist overrode her before she could get a word in edgewise.

"How many times, Akane?" Ranma leaned fully into her personally space, nearly nose to nose with the girl now. "How many times have I saved you from kidnappers? How many times have I saved this fuckin' dojo? How many times have I bailed all yas out from crap and you still don't trust me?"

"DON'T TALK LIKE THAT TO MY LITTLE-"

Soun's demonic visage roared to life and poured into the living room, only to meet a low powered Moko Takabisha in the face. The technique dispelled with a dull thump and Soun Tendo was sent staggering back, but Ranma never took his glacial gaze off the girl in front of him. "Well?"

"How can I trust you, you pervert?" Akane recovered from her shock and leaned back on the only form or reconciliation she knew. "I saw you kiss Ryoga! I saw how you wanted to buy that dress! You wanted to hold my hand as a girl! God knows what you're doing with that body while we're not looking!"

_Pervert. Homosexual. Idiot. Moron._The names slapped him time and time again as they were recalled in their voice of origin. Each iteration killed of any feeling he had for the girl in front of him until it became a visible sneer on his face. "Yeah, well at least I ain't takin' piglet to bed every night."

The insinuation was clear, even if Akane never realized its fullest measure. A snarl overtook her features and she wound back a hand. "You_ bastard!_"

The youngest Tendo put her full force behind what promised to be a brutal slap only to have it yanked to a stop by Ranma's own hand. Akane's eyes widened as she tried to force the blow, but found her wrist rooted in concrete. Ranma shook his head and stared into her own enraged expression without remorse. Another insult was making its rounds to his tongue when a single word stopped its formation.

"SON!"

Ranma blinked, his anger denied its heat by the single word from his mother. She stepped fully into the living room with a displeased look. He looked from his mother, to Akane and back, then let his fiancée go to confront her. "I ain't apologizing for it."

"Nor would I expect you to." Nodoka confirmed, causing Akane to all but gasp with betrayal. "A wife should know her place, something young Akane still needs to learn."

Ranma blinked in surprise. On one hand, his mother had just dealt him a decisive victory. On the other, her stern visage remained, all but assuring him she wasn't done yet. Her next question confirmed the fact. "But I would also expect her husband to behave as one. Is it true?"

"Is what true?" The pigtailed teen fought for understanding as his mental state attempted to reorganize itself after dealing with Akane.

"That you are engaging in unmanly activities with your curse?" The Saotome matriarch pressed in a tone that spoke of complete seriousness.

Ranma blinked then frowned, gesturing to Akane. "Not like princess there thinks."

"That's not an answer, Son." His mother drove straight to the point as both ignored Akane's sour look. "Dresses?"

"Ah, kinda." Ranma admitted. The unamused look across Nodoka's face became more serious and the martial artist hastened to shore up his answer. "But that was only for fun!"

"Flirting with other men?"

"Not like that!" Ranma protested. "I mean me and Hild-san only did it to-"

"_Kissing_?" This time Ranma could hear the direness in the question and it advertised her displeasure clearly.

"Ah, only on accident." He admitted, suddenly finding the carpeting far more interesting than his mother's unyielding gaze.

"I see." Nodoka's gaze continued to bore into her son. She studied his meek demeanor for another moment before passing judgment. "In other words, the curse appears to be corrupting your manly nature. This is unacceptable. Genma."

Ranma looked up, wondering where his mother was going with her condemnation as she turned toward her significant other. Genma began to watch his life flash before his eyes as his wife called him to task. She wasn't in a kimono, nor did she have a blade in hand, but the woman in a simple house dress was still a potent threat to the man.

"This is partially your responsibility, husband." She continued in a voice that would brook no interruption. "You and Ranma will set out on a mission to find a cure. You will not return until one is found, is that clear?"

"Mom?"  
"Nodoka-chan!"

"You will ensure his behavior his manly," She ignored the protests of her husband and child, favoring both with a cool gaze. "Once a cure is found, you may return and your plans for the dojo may proceed." Akane was nearly grinning until Nodoka's gaze turned upon her. "In the mean time, I will ensure that Akane Tendo receives remedial education in the art of womanhood."

Genma Saotome stared at his wife in horror as he envisioned another ten year trip on the road searching for a cure. He had the good life here and now he was being forced out on what could potentially be a fruitless quest, especially when the boy- The bald martial artist's eyes widened and the words slipped from his mouth even as the desperate plan was formed.

"The boy has a cure!" Genma blurted. Ranma's wide eyed stare fixated on him as his father sandbagged him yet again, but the man continued regardless. "I can instruct him on manliness from home!"

Even Akane stared at Ranma now, clearly surprised that not only was there a cure, but her part time fiancée had declined to actually use it. Nodoka's interruption that tore Ranma's glare away from Genma Saotome. "Is this true, son?"

"Ah, yeah?" The martial artist admitted hesitantly. Nodoka nodded as a course of action solidified.

"Then you will use it." She state in no uncertain terms. "From this point forward, you will never be seen again in your cursed form. Genma-dear will instruct you on manly behavior from home and I will enroll you in an all boys school, do you understand?"

Ranma stared at the woman called his mother in complete silence as a torrent of thoughts waged a war for supremacy along the limited neural bandwidth available to his stunned intellect. "But... I..."

"Just say yes, boy!" Genma whispered in a hiss. Ranma continued to gaze upon her.

"Son?"

The heavy words slipped from his lips and his heart without thought. "What if... I... can't?"

Nodoka Saotome blinked, failing to understand the question he had posed. "Preposterous. You have a cure. You _can_ and _will_use it."

Technically she was right, some portion of Ranma's brain admitted. He had complete control over the curse thanks to Hild-san and could even lock it if he wanted to. It was also a technicality drowning in a sea of reality that wasn't so clear cut. The curse was fun thanks to a good friend. He had grown used to it. He had control over it. It was no longer the water born nuisance it once was. Ranma couldn't help but to think that sealing it now would be like cutting off an arm or a leg... He was _that_used to it, and now his mother... What would she do if...

The pigtailed teen finally found focus, his voice regaining some measure of certainty. He recomposed the question he very nearly afraid to ask again. "But _what if_? What if the cure doesn't work? What if there isn't one out there?"

"You are my manly son." Nodoka confirmed and for that singular moment, Ranma Saotome found hope. It was crushed by her next statement. "Of course you will find a cure."

Ranma's mouth opened and closed as a dozen thoughts formed and reformed before settling into the same question. "But what if I can't? What if I _won't?_"

"The curse is unacceptable." She stated, missing the new component he had posed to her. "Your cure will work or you will find one."

It was like talking to a brick wall and Ranma realized there were no other possible alternatives according to his mother's logic. The martial artist stared at her for another lengthy moment of silence before his voice returned. He turned to the other occupants for any form of support.

"Kasumi?" She merely watched, completely willing to sit this one out. Her younger sister and father likewise watched. Genma was violently shaking his head in an effort to wave him off from his current course, but that was to be expected. Ranma turned to Akane. Her wide eyes made it clear she had understood the meaning of his last question, but wouldn't be offering up her assistance either. _Pervert. Transvestite. Idiot_. Another little piece of him died and Ranma finally turned back to his mother. "M...Mom?"

"Use your cure, dear." She returned in a motherly tone. It was a tone that insisted by its very nature that everything would be all right. "Then you can join us for dinner."

A cold feeling settled over Ranma's body; a numbness that seeped to his very core as the actual meaning of her words sank in. Sadness, regret, betrayal and anger roiled within the boy, all dissolving into absolute impotence. Again, Hild's words rang true.

_There will come a day when there are no good choices left._

"Sure... I'll... I'll be right back." Ranma nodded weakly and turned to leave the room. The martial artist left their sight and a door clicked closed.

It wasn't until two minutes later that they realized that it was the front door.

* * *

**A**n unfamiliar sound greeted the of Queen of the Damned as she stepped up to her office door, causing her slight pause as she considered what lay beyond. The wooden medium between herself and the space beyond muffled its auditory components slightly, but that didn't hinder her recognition in any way. Hild cast a concerned sidelong glance to her secretary, who merely nodded with her own concerned look. The Daimakaicho's glance flicked back to the door momentarily.

"How long?"

"Half an hour, Hild-sama." The demoness reported, glancing at the door herself. "I've ensured she hasn't been disturbed."

Hild simply nodded, the report meeting her satisfaction and the door opened with a mere thought. The white haired demoness stepped in while her lavender eyes carefully scanned the scene that met her. For the most part, it was still her office, left unmolested save the sole occupant there in.

Her normally unoccupied desk was occupied at the moment. Several large books lay opened to various pages, invariably surrounding a redhead girl engaged in the most unlikely of activities. In fact it was one she had _never _seen her charge engage in during their months of friendship. Another sob wracked the girl, whose face was buried in the protective curl of her arms. Hild frowned and crossed the plush carpet quietly, moving alongside the desk where she began to carefully close the large leather volumes one by one as the girl continued to sniffle oblivious to her activity. The last book was closed and a her richly tanned hand settled lightly on the girl's red mane and began to stroke it gently.

Another sob was choked back into a half sniffle as the girl realized another was present. Ranma raised her head from the desk and turned her gaze toward the only other person who could realistically be found in the same office. Hild's frown deepened as she found the girls' normally crystal blue eyes dulled, set in puffy red flesh that indicated just how long she had been crying. Her mouth opened but the Daimakaicho but a single finger to her lips and pulled her red head into the warmth of her body where the crying renewed in earnest. Pink and black lycra began to damen with the tears.

She let the child in her arms cry it out for several more minutes before speaking to her softly. "Loss is something I am well versed in Ranma-chan. There was a day long ago when I lost everything. My love, my station, my world; all gone."

Sniffling replaced the depressed sobbing as Ranma fought to concentrate on Hild's words. She slowly pulled herself away from the woman to look upon her directly, wiping away another line of tears that she had been unable to stop for well over thirty minutes now.

"My world was gone that day," She continued softly, brushing the bangs from Ranma's eyes. The pain and regret were clear in her voice, but she continued regardless. "Even my daughter had forsaken me."

Ranma could see it all in her eyes and she knew that the woman next to her knew. Her own testimony spilled forth in the presence of a kindred soul. "I... They... I ain't what they want... Not even Mom..."

"They cannot see you for who you are," Hild nodded knowingly. "The angry Tendo girl cannot see past her own myopic view of the world, while your father wallows in gluttony at the expense of everybody around him. Pride constricts your mother to any possibility beyond that what she expects of you."

"But... can't they see?" The girl shook her head and thumped her bosom. "I'm still Ranma in here! It's just a body! It's like they can't... they can't..."

"They cannot Ranma-chan," The Grand Demoness confirmed gently but firmly. "They are crippled by their sin and it colors their every action just as yours does you."

"M-Mine?" The redhead blinked, momentarily jarred from her depression by the observation.

"Pride, of course," She patted the girl's head with a smile. "Not unjustifiably so, but pride none the less. There is none without sin, child. Even the eldest Tendo girl."

The mere mention of her brought back the stinging memory of Kasumi and her complete reluctance to intervene at any point. _She just watched! _Part of her snarled, while another realized just how many times over the last two years she could have intervened, but hadn't.

"Envy." Hild correctly interpreted the flash of pain then anger across Ranma's face. "She plays the perfect home maker while secretly coveting the lives of others, yet fails to do what is required to break those chains. Apathy is now her sole comfort. If she cannot be bothered to lift a finger to help her sisters in any meaningful way, why would she do so for you?"

_"Don't mind Akane... She's just a violent maniac."_Kasumi's voice filtered through her mind and Ranma's head nodded slowly with the brutal analysis of the Tendo's condition. Understanding didn't lessen the pain however, and it all came back to the horrible reality that any illusion of a happy ending had been blown clean away, revealing the ugly reality beneath.

"I can't... can't be what they want me ta be..."

She had known that fact the moment she had stepped out of the Tendo household, but this was the first time she had dared to speak it aloud and it seemed to add some measure of finality to the heartbreak within. In that moment she knew she had changed... Changed too much to be truly be accepted within the household. _ 'Even by mom_,' she thought bitterly. She would be tolerated yes, but accepted for who she was and who she had become? Glistening eyes turned back to Hild's soft lavender.

"I...I can't go back, can I?" The very admission nearly choked her up and she could feel her chest tighten as another round of sobbing threatened to take hold. Not even the denial that she was a man and men didn't cry held any weight in that moment. For her part, Hild held her with a solemn look, staring down at the frail girl for several long seconds.

This was the moment she had been waiting for since the beginning if she would have gone with the original plan to reshape the girl into a toy for her own amusement. Ranma as she was now was waiting to be broken, manipulated and reforged; to dance to the Daimakaicho's whim and enjoy every moment of it. Even Asgard expected such an outcome, generally believing that the martial artist had irrevocably fallen into her clutches.

And she had.

Just the Daimakaicho had fallen into Ranma's.

That scheme had ceased to exist months ago and now where an easily manipulated child now stood before her, Hild saw anything but. Her eyes drifted across the desk to a simple folded piece of paper sitting beneath a designer glass orb paperweight. The memory of its receipt prompted a fond smile to find its way to her face. The Queen of the Damned returned to the helpless girl and stroked her hair once more, then held out a waiting hand. The redhead looked at it with the slightest of uncertainty, but took it regardless and Hild's smile grew.

"Come with me, child," She stated and Ranma stood up, following the white haired woman out from behind the desk then the office door past Hild's demonic secretary. Amanda paused in her paperwork activities to watch the pair exit and Ranma soon found herself in a familiar demonic horse drawn carriage with Hild, who seemed to be humming pleasantly.

After a few minutes of travel down the major metropolis that represented the administrative district of Hell, curiosity finally overcame Ranma's sorrow and she asked the all too obvious question. "Ah, Where we going, Hild-san?"

The clack of the horses fiery hooves measured out time and Hild turned a patient, if amused look upon the redhead. "You'll see."

The horse drawn carriage turned a corner and Ranma did see; specifically she saw the curvature of a massive three pronged spire that stretched into the cavern's sky. Her blue eyes traced the dancing twine of green energy as it floated lethargically skyward and through a hole in the cavern's stone roof. _The Nidd-somethin_' Ranma remember from her last ride through the streets of Niflheim. Only this time, it wasn't some monument on the horizon. This time, they were taking what looked like a central road directly to it. The martial artist shot a questioning glance back to Hild, but the woman merely smiled as their forward progress continued unabated.

Their route took them under several over engineered arches, all featuring gothic scenes cut into their black stones, while the roadway itself was lined with gargoyle and angelic statues, seemingly locked in eternal combat. Ranma's head twisted on a swivel with each new sight, at least until she realized something important. She turned back to the silently amused Daimakaicho.

"You coulda just zapped us there." The martial artist observed, only to watch Hild snicker.

"Then would have been deprived of the pleasure in seeing all of the unusual expressions you have created between here and there." Ranma cast an exaggerated sniff at her humor, but returned to the sights none the less.

The Nidhogg now towered skyward, dwarfing them in its shadow as the clomping of hooves continued until they were brought to its very gates. Ranma's first impression as she hopped off the carriage was that of an elaborate temple from some action movie, while Hild took the lead. Scores of mostly humanoid demonic sentries snapped to rigid attention with her presence and Ranma followed as a pair of black obsidian doors opened soundlessly for her. After a short hallway, another pair of doors opened and Ranma was treated to the sight of a veritable army of demons engaged in a flurry of activity. Most were stationed at a myraid of holographic terminals, performing some operation that was undoubtedly important to... _Somethin'_Ranma guessed without a clue.

"The nerve center of Hell," Hild gestured for Ranma's benefit, prompting the girl to slow her pace in studied awe. "Here is where contracts are processed and the damned are assimilated. It is also our primary communications link to the Nidhogg's counterpart in Heaven."

"Heaven's got one of these too?" The redheaded girl blinked as she paused to stare, then shook her head. "Figures I guess."

"Indeed," Hild chuckled and continued the tour. Ranma watched as the demons prostrated themselves as their leader passed but the Daimakaicho paid them and their occasional groveling little mind as she lead her charge deeper into the complex. The path led to the center of the control room where Hild stepped on a two meter wide circular platform, then beckoned Ranma to join her.

Once on board, it shivered slightly then lifted skyward, leaving the control center below as platform ascended in a lazy spiral toward a balcony that oversaw the entire complex. The transport locked into place with a slight click even while Ranma stared off the edge, watching the activity that now looked like so many ants below. Hild stepped off onto the balcony and the click of her heels, drew the redhead's attention to her original reason for having accompanied the woman to begin with. She followed the Daimakaicho into an alcove, whose dominant feature was a blood red crystal nearly as tall as she. The artifact floated above the room's gold-tiled floor. Symbols etched into the tiles glowed bright blue, arranged in a circle around the crystal itself and Hild stepped within their circumference, beckoning Ranma to follow.

"This is the Nidhogg's Primary Interface Node accessible only by myself and no other." The grand demoness gestured to the faceted red crystal, then presented her to the crystal itself. "Nidhogg, meet Ranma Saotome."

An eerie hum filled the chamber and the crystal pulsed with a soft glow as Ranma stared. The air between her and the crystal suddenly shimmered and her own two dimensional image was conjured before her very eyes. Within the holographic image, a smaller picture of her male aspect sat and paragraphs of indecipherable text began to scroll out along right boarder.

Ranma arched an eyebrow as the text began to gain density and bulk. She stared, then glanced back to Hild. "It knows me?"

"The Nidhogg knows everybody." She explained, circling around the martial artist to step up next to her. She turned her attention to the crystal. "Command line."

Ranma's picture was instantly swept away and replaced by blank air holding a single blinking cursor. A holographic keyboard materialized at Hild's outstretched hands. The redhead next to her watched the woman began to type lines of nonsensical symbols into the air, to which the blinking prompt would occasionally produce its own similarly formatted responses.

After a solid minute of typing, Hild paused and turned back to Ranma looking down at the shorter girl. A maternal smile found its way to her face before speaking. "You asked me something back in the office and this is my answer."

Ranma stared without comprehension, though the Daimakaicho hadn't expected any as she continued. "Yes, you can go back. You can go back to the Tendos, to your mother and father and hope that things may yet change despite all evidence to the contrary. You can go back, but..."

Now Ranma was becoming concerned as emotion hung heavily in the woman's voice. "Hild-san?"

"...But I have grown quite fond of you." Hild admitted hesitantly, as if the very words had cost her something. A warm feeling began to replace the coldness that had seized Ranma's stomach for the better part of the night, but she still didn't know what the woman was driving at until her next words were spoken.

"You could go back, but I would rather you did not." Hild took Ranma's hand once more. "I would rather you stayed with me. As my own."

Ranma's eyes widened as Hild's meaning was fully realized in her consciousness, creating an impossible tangle of thoughts and words in the process. "But...That's... You... What about...!"

"Urd will always be flesh and blood, but like your family, she does not accept me for who and what I am," Hild shook her head with the sad reminiscence, but it faded with a look that spoke of hope. "But you have become the closest thing to a daughter, and a son, that I could ever hope for. If you are willing, I would like to formalize that bond."

"I... I don't know ta say," Ranma now had a look that roughly equated to that of a deer stuck in the headlights of an eighteen wheeled semi. She stared at the patiently waiting woman before his eyes wandered to the terminal she had been typing at. Sudden enlightenment struck her. '_The Nidhogg manages the Super Force,'_ she realized, remembering Hild's earlier explanation. '_The Force is a piece of reality.'_

The scope of Hild's proposition almost cause Ranma's jaw to drop.

It also caused a swell of pride. Another emotion flooded in to replace the betrayal and it was one that Ranma hadn't felt in a _very_long time, and she wondered if that was what Hild was feeling as well. Hild merely smiled as she watched the martial artist stare in awe. "Do you understand now? One press of his key will rewrite existence. You will become my son and daughter, and I your mother. Any evidence that you were born a Saotome will cease to exist. Those closest to you may remember your association to them, but as to the rest..."

Ranma's eyes traced down Hild's tan arm, to its jeweled hand and along the fingertip. Below it, the keyboard hovered and one key in particular blinked softly. The prospect of what she was suggesting was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying; Somebody was willing to _rewrite reality_just because they cared so much for her, not for who she was expected to be. Nobody had ever offered her so much. Not her friends. Not the Tendos. Not even her father or the very girl she was supposed to have married.

The redhead's hand reached out slowly for Hild's, captured it in her own and slowly pulled it away from the keyboard. Resolute acceptance began to form on the Daimakaicho's face until that same hand disengaged from hers and found the key for itself. The warm smile of acceptance upon Ranma's lips told her everything.

_Beep._

_Niidhogg Access Tier One: Hild_  
_Command Line, record Ranma Saotome_  
_...Pulling Geneology. Done._

_Mother: Saotome, Nodoka _  
_...Status - Read Only._  
_Father: Saotome, Genma_  
_...Status - Contested._

_Transfer Request Initiated._  
_...Ranma /mortal /true_  
_...Hild /daimakaicho /true_

_Dual lockout in effect. Polling Dublet..._  
_Nidhogg approves._  
_waiting..._  
_waiting..._  
_Yggdrasil approves._

_**[WARNING] **__Direct changes to root systems will update the Supreme Force in Real Time. This change cannot be undone or restored! Do you want to continue? Press command key to Commit, any other key to Abort._

Three hundred and eighty million files were processed the moment Ranma Saotome touched the Nidhogg's keyboard again as the super computer and its counterpart in heaven began to propagate the updates across their respective databases. The entire operation was complete in less than a fifth of a second, leaving Ranma to watch the red crystal glow in anticipation, then puzzle over its sudden cessation of activity. The girl cocked her head, then looked about the room for any other evidence of activity. She had felt the slightest of tingling, but beyond that...

"Ah, that's it?" Ranma looked up at Hild, who in turn smile mischievously for her benefit.

"You were perhaps expecting to sign a contract? Maybe to be drained of your ki, die and have it replace with mana or something similarly complex and completely unnecessary?" The woman snickered.

"Yeah?" Ranma admitted only to have Hild pull her into a warm embrace.

"Nonsense, my daughter." The Daimakaichō kissed the top of the girls red head. Ranma tensed momentarily, but relaxed into her embrace as she heard her new title spoken aloud, banishing any fears she harbored over the process. "Theatrics are unnecessary. I am your mother now, just as you are my child. Nothing else is required beyond formalizing the bond."

"Ah, gotcha, Hild-sa-" A single tanned finger found her lips, causing the martial artist to smile slightly with the correction. "Yeah, Mom. Got it."

"Of course you do." The white haired demoness smiled maternally, then paused. "There are still details to be taken care of here and there. I will summon Mara to guide you through them. I however, must take care of a few loose ends myself."

"Sounds doable." Ranma smiled. It was the first time in months that she could honestly say that the smile was genuine, not something laced with ego as a front for the world to see. It was a lightheartedness Hild shared for the first time in millennia. All was right with the world.

_Almost._

* * *

**T**he patter of rain danced across the Tendo household, causing Kasumi Tendo the slightest pause as she stared out the kitchen window and the sheets rain that raked the dojo beyond. The world flashed and a bassy rumble accompanied the peal of lightning seconds later. Its reverberation caused her dishes to tremble slightly and the Tendo was grateful that she had done all her shopping before the storm front rolled in. The falling water invariably brought her to thoughts of Ranma as she idly wondered where the martial artist wandered off to last night. He was undoubtedly a 'she' in that sort of downpour, Kasumi decided in a rare moment of humor and continued to wash the dish in hand.

Outside the gates of the Tendo property, there was another being considering Ranma's welfare with substantial more weight than those within and she prepared to exact retribution upon their household. Before her, three others attempted to sway her from her course. They were the Norns and they stood before the Daimakaicho in a last ditch effort to appeal to her conscience.

"But everybody deserves a chance at salvation, Hild-sama," Belldandy pleaded with the woman who stared impassively at the house just beyond her person. The Grand Demoness arched a skeptical eyebrow and focused on the woman barring her path.

"In that we are in agreement, Bell-chan," Hild nodded, surprising the Goddess. A grin took over her features, however, assuring Belldandy that they weren't at all on the same page. "Everybody does deserve a chance at salvation. She has had hers and now she is _mine_."

"And you think the gender jock is going to approve of this?" Urd pushed back at her mother's logic from a different angle. There was something going on between the pair. What it was she had no idea, but it might just make the difference in the here and now.

"Approve? Perhaps. Perhaps not." The Grand Demoness tilted her head thoughtfully. "But my daughter will certainly understand."

"I don't approve of this at all!" Urd shot back in frustration, unable to comprehend her mother's logic concerning her person. "I sure as heck don't understand this or you!"

Hild favored her biological daughter with a measure of mirth. "No, you wouldn't, would you?"

"Just leave them alone, Hild!" Skuld inserted for lack of a more substantial argument and the woman in question simply laughed.

"I will not 'just leave them alone'." Hild disagreed and the space around her steadily began to darken. Lightning cut through the sheets of rain, casting her in an evil light as she stared back down upon the Goddess of the Future. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, a foot for a foot, little goddess. I shall take all of these _and more_."

Skuld shivered with the sight and Urd pulled her sister back protectively. Hild held her sinister smile even as Belldandy renewed her own attempt at negotiations. "I would regard it as a personal favor if you simply gave her a few more years. Perhaps to grow up and out of this-"

"Much as I would so love having you owe me a favor, Bell-chan, the answer is no." Hild shook her head, declining the offer outright. "I have an open ended writ of seizure that was live the moment she broke our accord and now I fully intend to use it."

"Hild-sama-"

The Daimakaicho ignored the brunette and brushed past her. A gust of wind accompanied her passage and forced the gates, causing them to be ripped from their cast iron hinges. Wooden planks splintered around her as she passed onto the property itself. By the time she had crossed halfway to the household, the porch light clicked on and the door opened. Kasumi Tendo peeked outside to locate the source of the commotion, her eyes locking instantly on the white haired woman wearing a pink and black lycra body suit. More notable was the remains of the devastated gate strewn in her wake..

If that wasn't enough to warn the eldest Tendo of the Daimakaicho's intentions, the malicious smile was. Kasumi began to back away from the open door even as she called for a more appropriate greeter. "Oh- Oh my! Um, father? Akane? I think we have a visitor!"

Hild stepped through the doorway, completely ignoring the eldest sister as she continued to babble as Akane arrived on scene. The youngest Tendo instantly recognized the white hair and the tan skin, even if it was slightly misplaced. "Hey! You're that perverted woman!"

The woman in question ignored Akane and continued to move deeper into the house while making a path for the stairway, at least until sister tried to stop her. Akane grabbed Hild's arm and suddenly felt her strength evaporate. The girl's legs gave out as if no longer able to support her body. She tried to cry out in shock , but even that registered as nothing more than a barely audible gasp. Hild let youngest Tendo maintain her grip on her arm as the girl began to melt to the floor. The next thing Akane knew, a pair of predatory lavender eyes were smiling down at her.

"Oh, how I would so rather have you than your sister," The Daimakaichō mused while a terrified Akane desperately tried to regain control of her own body. Hild tisked her own fortune with a shrug. "I would have personally ensured your torment to be most exquisite for what you have put my daughter through. Perhaps next time, Akane-chan."

The girl wheezed again, but Hild was already moving along, flicking the girl's hand off her arm as if it were a piece of trash. Akane flopped fully to the floor and could suddenly breath again, if not actually move. Hild was continuing on when the daughter's name was screamed in the form of a battle cry.

_**"AKANE!"**_

Soun Tendo's first sight was his child lying in a heap and the intruder hovering over her. Instinct cut in and the Tendo patriarch flushed with adrenaline as he rushed into save his girl from what was obviously an evil witch of some sort. The evil witch in question merely snorted in contempt and gestured to the side. Soun Tendo was instantly pulverized by an invisible force and thrown through the living room wall, the empty guestroom and out into the drenched courtyard beyond.

Hild took to the stairs just as Nabiki Tendo had exited her room. She was removing her headphones when she suddenly caught sight of the ascending woman. The sharp edge to the woman's smile put her on edge immediately and she backed up a step while attempting to engage her verbally. "Just so you know, there are no refunds."

"I'm not here for a refund, Nabiki Tendo." Hild shook her head and continued up the stairway.

The senior schoolgirl retreated further until she was back to her bedroom door. "Then what are you here for?"

"She's coming for you, Nabiki!" A strained voice that she barely recognized as Akane screamed from down stairs, causing Nabiki's eyes to widen. More than that, her sister still hadn't come to stop the woman, nor had her father, both of which only indicated a dire situation.

"She's right, of course." The Queen of the Damned grinned evilly. "But I am not just here for you._ I'm here for your soul._"

The middle Tendo's eyes bulged and she instantly stepped back into her room and locked the door. Panic welled up from within as she bolted across her bed to the desk phone and dialed 119. Static hissed back at her and she slapped the bridge of the phone several times to reset the connection. By the time she was ready to dial again, the door abruptly fell off its hinges, thumping to the ground.

The grand demoness stood waiting.

"I, ah, I take it back!" Nabiki recanted shakily, backing away to the far wall. "A policy change just for you! How much do I owe you?"

"One soul." Hild smiled patiently. "No more. No less."

"You...You can't be serious!" The middle Tendo babbled as she recalled the terms of their original agreement, while something about this woman wanted to make her curl into a ball and scream in terror. The stranger stepped fully into Nabiki's room and she began to lean on her last resort.

"Ranma Saotome lives here, you know?" Nabiki's tone quavered with barely contained fear. "He's the best martial artist in Tokyo. Cross me and you'll cross him."

The Tendo girl was unsurprisingly dismayed by the sinister chuckle that drifted to her ears. Hild continued her advance on the girl, who was now backed in the far corner. "You mean the very martial artist you've betrayed time and time again? The same one that you sold nudes of internationally? The very same martial artist you had shackled and sold to Hong Kong pimps in order to cover your debt? The martial artist whose very virginity you sold to me?"

"I... he..." Each point the woman brought forth seemed to push the possibility of Ranma's last minute intervention further and further away, and the blowup with Akane certainly hadn't helped matters. She desperately attempted to rationalize her extortionist activities laid bare. "He... He had to pay for-"

Hild's grin widened as she reached into her personal space. Nabiki Tendo whimpered in terror as the jeweled hand approached. "And so do you, child. _And so do you._"

Nabiki's scream echoed through the house as her soul was ripped from her body.

* * *

**Author's Notes**- Okay, so this was a longer one, but I didn't want to divide it up. There has been a hard rule I have maintained throughout this fic and I'm finally happy to share it with you: Nabiki does not escape. At all. The next update my take a bit, but rest assured this is not the end yet. Thanks for sticking with me so far. You guys and girls are pwnsome :)

Mamoru OC; _"OMG TUX ISN'T LIKE THAT!" ...And you'd be right.  
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Ranma!Sold; _Nabiki selling handkerchiefs with Ranma's nude bust to pay for a ticket, Nabiki selling Ranma to pay for dinner the Ten Yen challenge dinner.  
_  
Dublet Lockout; _Works under the theory that any large scale change affecting reality must pass checks from both the Yggdrasil and Nidhogg to be approved and enacted._

Vecca; _A professional nod to CRose, who should write more of anything. :)_

Bad, Black Moons; _No member of CCR was harmed during the composition of this fiction.  
_  
**Special Thanks to: DragonDagger, Materia Blade, Slade 13, Dumbledork and, of course, DCG.**


	13. Chapter 12

_"Justice, child? Justice is a flawed ideology arbitrarily assigned to sate the bloodlust of society. Who deems what retribution is fit and what is not? I do. The girl down there has struck against my blood and this is my retribution, Ranma-chan. My justice."_

_-Hild_

* * *

**Hell is a Martial Artist **  
Chapter 12

_By Ozzallos_

**T**he mirror he stared at was a work of art, framed in bold leaf and inset with a dragon motif that coiled and swirled along its frame. It was a masterpiece that stood nearly two meters tall off an armoire that was its artistic equal. Where the mirror was the mythical Chinese dragon of legends, the dresser itself was blossoms and clouds trimmed with similar gold appointments. Hundreds of artisan man hours had undoubtedly gone into the individual creations, yet for all their intricacies and detail, neither were what held Ranma's attention at the moment. It was what lay in the reflection of the mirror that had him captivated.

For the most part, it was the same face he had grown used to over the years; a rugged handsomeness that would always ensure a second look from any lady that passed without falling on the rocks of the pretty boy stereotype. That wasn't the martial artist's concern, however, and he willed a transformation to take place. The pigtailed teen in the reflection melted into a redheaded girl. Ranma stared at those features with similar interest. Again, no major changes had taken place beyond the ones she had expected. Her face was now one of exotic Japanese beauty set atop curves that were nothing short of a visual delight despite her petite stature. It had taken her two long years to get inured to that fact, but doing so was the bedrock of Anything Goes.

Martial Arts had only taken that acceptance so far, however. Ranma had then met Hild and in doing so turned grudging acceptance into a fact of life to be enjoyed and indulged in. All of that was present in the mirror now, but Ranma shifted again; his clothing tightening to accommodate a more masculine frame once more. This time the martial artist leaned forward to scrutinize the single change that persisted across both forms.

"Weird."

And at the same time, not so, he decided. The last twelve hours had been a roller coaster of betrayal and revelation, and it was with an odd sense of calm that Ranma studied the only change wrought upon his person by one of the most powerful forces in the universe. In his male aspect, his eyes were a grayish blue and the only evidence of his family's more exotic genetics. In his female aspect, they took on a crystal blue hue that contrasted against her red hair and porcelain skin. That was the past, much like the last two years in Nerima. The blue eyes were gone now as if they had been plucked out and replaced with jeweled amethyst. Ranma cocked his head, staring into the mirror from a different angle, then willed the shift into his female form once more. The amethyst remained.

'_Like Hild-san,_' she noted, then mentally corrected herself as a fond smile found her lips. '_But not a -san anymore._'

It also went a long ways in explaining the eyes, Ranma supposed as she tilted her head to get a better view. They now held the same iridescent shade as her mother's own and if the blue of yesterday was striking, the glittering lavender of today only enhanced her already exotic heritage. The redhead hesitantly tore her attention away from the alteration to take the rest of the room in, only to find it as amazing as she last left it. The bed alone took up a full quarter of the space and promised enough decadent cushioning to consume her outright should she attempt to lay upon it and its four pillow accompaniment. Wood and brass gave the bed further structure that angled into almost a dozen hand carved drawers that featured its own naturalistic scroll work covering every inch.

Her eyes flicked across the room to a door that remained half ajar. She was almost afraid to look into the master bathroom.

"Hey, 'fridge is fully stocked too!" A coarse female voice called out from beyond the bedroom itself and the topic of food was more than enough to entice Ranma from the grandeur of the suite itself...

...And back out into the grandeur that was the living room and kitchen.

It was all obnoxiously extravagant and it was all apparently hers, from the entertainment center that would require an engineering degree to operate to the spacious master chef's kitchen that would require a master chef to fully appreciate. Even now, Ranma watched as a familiar blond clad in a fire truck red leather mini skirt and similar leather jacket dig around in the stainless steel refrigerator nearly the size of a closet. In fact, if the woman leaned any further into it, she could all but climb in.

"Got it!" Mara proclaimed and leaned back out having retrieved a silver cylinder which she promptly cracked open with a sharp hiss. The demoness grinned, winking at Ranma. "A beer a day keeps the angels away!"

The woman then proceeded to tilt the entire contents of the can back, chugging it for nearly fifteen seconds before depleting the alcoholic beverage while Ranma watched. Mara let out a satisfied '_ah_' then turned back to Ranma. "Sapporo's pretty good in a pinch. Want one?"

"Nah, think I'm good," The red head decided and made her way to the kitchen to join the demoness. Plush golden-tan carpeting gave way to slate tile and Ranma likewise leaned into the refrigerator. It was every bit the closet on the inside, packing everything from meat to poultry and eggs to milk. The beer waited upon the bottom most shelf, but her eyes caught the red of an apple instead and she plucked it out as her stomach growled its discontent. It wouldn't be nearly enough, but it would do for now.

_knock-knock._

Ranma's head swiveled toward the sound, but Mara had already turned to address the knock on the door. "Whatdya want?"

"Delivery for Testarossa, Ranma?" A male voice pleasantly inquired through the closed apartment door. "Asakusa Boutique sends its regards."

'_Testarossa?_' Ranma was mouthing to herself even Mara was moving around the kitchen's island counter top to engage their mutual visitor.

"About time," The demoness quipped, but allowed the door to open with a mere thought. It clicked open to reveal a man already dipped in a low bow. Behind the white collared executive were similarly dressed women baring a number of carefully wrapped boxes. Mara arched an eyebrow at their subservient antics. "Yeah, yeah," She rolled her eyes and waved them in with little fanfare. "Over there by the couch."

The martial artist watched as the young manager and his entourage filed past with the white packages, each bound by black and silver ribbon bows. Ranma's confused study flicked from Mara, to their guests and back. "Um, Mara-chan?"

"Boss figured you would need a new wardrobe." The blond supplied as the sale representatives retreated back out to the hallway for a second load. The perplexed look persisted until Mara elaborated. "Your stuff back at the dojo got nuked the moment Hild-san made you official."

The second wave of boxes were being deposited at the redhead's feet as she stared. "So all of this is _clothing?_"

"Pretty much."

"Miss Testarossa, if you could sign here?" The younger manager stepped towards Ranma in a half bow, presenting her with a small clipboard. He noticed her persisting confusion and added, "The receipt of delivery, of course."

"Ah, sure." Ranma blinked, shooting a sidelong glance at Mara who merely grinned back as if everything were going according to plan. The redhead had little choice but to play along and scrawled the sloppy equivalent of her new family name across the statement.

"Very well." The manager bowed lower as he retrieved the clipboard with both hands. Behind him the girls also bowed and the group filed back out without a word. Mara watched them go until the manager was outside bowing once more at which point the demoness promptly slammed the door in his face.

"And that's the end of today's lesson." She brushed her hands off as if her good deed for the day had been discharged.

Ranma arched an eyebrow at her antics, but had more pressing concerns now besides either her behavior or the white boxes strewn around her. "Testarossa?"

"Ask your mom," Mara shrugged indifferently. "My guess is that all your crap Earth-side here still needs a family name for the records and that's what she gave the Nidhogg... That is unless you actually _still want _to be a Saotome?"

While her tone held enough skeptical doubt, the very question caused Ranma no small pause. She had been a Saotome since birth. The name was very much a part of her, like an arm or a leg. _And now its gone,_ Ranma took a deep mental breath. An arm or a leg it might have been, but it was a cancer ridden appendage and it ultimately came down to which was more painful: Living out her life as a Saotome or lopping it off at the joint to begin anew?

"Gonna be weird, but Testarossa is doable." The martial artist decided with a firm nod that belied the separation anxiety the decision had created.

Mara stared at her for a moment longer, as if seeing through the facade. Finally it passed and her grin reappeared. "Good. Would have been a bitch to back out the change and guess who would have had to do that?"

Ranma smirked as she made her own peace with the topic. "There's more beer in the fridge."

"I knew there was a reason I liked you, kid!" The blond proclaimed and stalked back toward the mammoth refrigerator. The beer was acquired seconds later, and with it a smug look on her face. "In fact, I've got an even better idea." Ranma stared, waiting for the woman's smug countenance to bare fruit. Mara motioned into the living room with her beer. "I say we find out how to work _that_."

Ranma's attention was brought to bear on 'that', a fifty-five inch television surrounded by speakers and flanked by a chocolate brown suede couch that could have been mistaken for a modest sedan in terms of size. Below the TV sat several consoles nestled in the entertainment center. A couple could be identified as game consoles while others were beyond her ability to discern.

"Oooh! controllers!" Mara was already digging into the glass cabinet of electronics, pulling out two game pads, then dumped several compact discs across the floor to be sort through as Ranma looked on. "No. No. No. Gay. Urd might like that one. No. Ah-ha!"

A single disk in particular was clutched in triumph and the demoness pulled one of the consoles out from the entertainment center to be accessed, plunking the CD in and slamming the lid back shut. Mara waved Ranma over and promptly handed the martial artist a controller as she turned on the TV and hunted for the auxiliary channel.

Ranma looked from her to the ribbon clad boxes until a sofa cushion bounced off her head, causing her to blink at the blond as she got comfortable on her own cushion. "Don't just stand there all brain dead. Let's rock this!"

Half an hour later the Daimakaicho of hell itself paused outside the apartment she had acquired for her child. The last time she had been in a similar situation, it was a heart breaking sound that could be heard through the closed door of her office twelve short hours ago. Now it was anything but. Hild smiled to herself as she opened the door softly and was greeted to the sounds of battle in progress.

_"Hyakuretsukyaku!"_  
"I don't think so!"  
**_THaP!ThaP!THaP!_**  
"No! You can't-!"  
_"Shōryū-reppa!"_  
"Ha ha! Suck it!"

Hild stepped in silently, sliding behind the sofa as she watched the pair battle it out by proxy. On screen, red, blue, green and yellow colored gems fell on each side then promptly exploded as sufficient density was achieved. The grand demoness grinned evilly.

"Did you just tell my daughter to 'Suck it', Mara-chan?"

"ACK!" Mara twitched violently, throwing the game pad aside as if it were suddenly burning her hands. The improbable contortion of her body brought the Queen of the Damned into sight. She stared down upon the pair in mirth even as Ranma tiled her head back to view at a somewhat upside down angle, but with a smile none the less. "Was just getting ready to kick her ass."

"As you should," Hild nodded patiently, beckoning her over. Ranma hopped up and joined Hild's side curiously, only to be surprised by a kiss on the forehead that left the redhead blinking with application of motherly attention. It was... Ranma struggled for the appropriate word and only found one. _Nice. _Hild was already surveying the apartment and the unopened boxes around it. "I see Asakusa has made their timely delivery."

"Yep. Miss Testarossa signed for it," Ranma quipped with an inquiring look. The white haired woman turned an amused one back at her.

"I will admit to being _displeased _with the Saotome clan at the time and your activities on Midgard will all but require a family name regardless," Hild explained. Her expression took on a slightly more serious note, as if she understood the potential ramifications her child faced. "I can, of course, have Mara back that particular change out of the Nidhogg."

"I... Nah." Ranma hesitated as she mulled over the matter once more before shaking her head. Amusement returned to her face "Does that make you Hild Testarossa then?"

"In any matter concerning your legal guardianship, yes." The Grand Demoness nodded, her pleasant demeanor returning.

"Could be worse," The redhead shrugged with the explanation. She glanced at the her blond gaming partner, who was finishing her task of storing their source of entertainment back into the cabinet. The demon's activity reminded her that she had her own cleaning up to do. Ranma took in the white boxes stacked strategically across the apartment. "Guess I better get these put away."

"And while I help you do so, we will discuss the more salient details of your new life," Hild nodded, accompanying Ranma to the nearest pile.

"Such as?" The martial artist asked as she picked up a box. The answer she received was foreboding in spite of her new mother's pleasant tone.

"Oh, just life. The universe. _Everything_."

* * *

**P**olice Officer Tsubiki Kiba sighed for perhaps the twentieth time since his followup visit to the Tendo Dojo. On one hand the man before him was a respected member of the community; one he knew by name. On the other hand, the events over the last twenty four hours had deeply shaken the Tendo, and the Tsubiki was beginning to fear for the man's sanity.

_'Hasn't been the same since his wife passed on_,' The forty year old officer thought to himself sadly._ 'And now his middle daughter.'_

"But you have to believe me, Kiba-san!" The pleading demand met his ears again, forcing Tsubiki to address the here and now.

"Calm down Tendo-san," He urged, hoping to spare the the man his dignity while throwing him a token of understanding. "Of course strange things happen around here. That's why-"

"We need to find the woman who did this! " Soun Tendo trembled with simultaneous grief and anger as he clutched the frame of the doorway he stood within. "I gave the description to the police last night!"

"Which is why I'm here, Tendo-san." Officer Kiba attempted to placate the martial artist. "Still, you have to understand what we found last night isn't-"

"She was_ murdered_!" Soun interrupted, as if he already knew what the officer was going to say. Tsubiki took another sigh and fished the notepad from his breast pocket. A pen accompanied it and he clicked the point.

"Alright, she was murdered." The police officer agreed reluctantly, hoping to take the situation from a different angle. "Let's go over what happened last night one more time. What did she look like?"

"White hair. Tan," The Tendo patriarch stated definitively. "Nearly 180 centimeters." He leaned back through the doorway and into the house. "Kasumi! Akane! Join us at the front door!"

Officer Tsubiki watched over the father's shoulder as the girls approached. The younger one had a blank expression on her face. The other had red eyes that bore the only evidence of crying. They joined their father and he in turn wrapped his arms protectively around them. "Officer Kiba has a few questions for us. Kasumi, do you remember the woman's eye color?"

"B-Blue I think." The eldest Tendo sister stuttered slightly.

"Almost purple." The youngest corrected firmly. Soun nodded.

"Akane-chan did get the best look." He reported to the officer, who in turn scribbled into his notebook.

"Tan, white hair, approximately 180 centimeters and purple eyes." Tsubiki repeated back, to which the trio in the doorway nodded. He glanced up with the slightest edge of skepticism. "I would imagine such a woman running around Tokyo would stick out like a sore thumb."

"Exactly!" Soun nodded fiercely. "She should be easy to apprehend!"

_'Not exactly what I'm getting at,'_ Tsubiki mused but kept his thoughts to himself. "Have you seen her before this?"

Akane nodded instantly. "She challenged us. Two months ago."

"Alright," The officer continued patiently, hoping her testimony would lead somewhere. "Us? She challenged other people? What was the challenge over?"

"There were four of us: Myself, Ukyo, Kodachi and Shampoo." Akane nodded again, ticking the names off on her fingers then paused as if remembering something. "Wait, there was a blond woman there watching us fight."

_'The Kuno girl as well?'_ Tsubiki noted with a mental frown. Any incident involving the insanely wealthy, emphasis on_ insane_, would be problematic. Any incident involving a Kuno known to dabble in exotic opiates and potential narcotics would be even worse. '_And for Soun's youngest to associate with her?'_ The Officer suppressed his disappointment.

"Description?"

"Another foreigner," Akane supplied. "About the same height, I think. Pale skin, blond hair."

"Eye color?" Tsubiki prompted and this time Akane shook her head.

"I don't remember." She admitted. The police officer waved the oversight away as inconsequential.

"It's alright, Akane-chan." He returned easily. "What was this particular challenge over?"

The girls expression hardened. "She was trying to be another fiancee."

"Another...?" Officer Kiba turned his perplexed look from Akane to her father.

"One of Ranma's problems." Soun supplied as if the statement explained everything, but the confusion persisted.

"Was this Ranma at the challenge?" The officer's gaze flicked back and forth. The girl's sudden irritation was completely out of place for the situation they were discussing and he made a note to probe it further.

"No." She huffed. Her expression turned downright sour. "He wasn't here last night either. He could have stopped this whole thing."

_'Stranger and stranger_,' Tsubiki noted and pressed deeper. "Should he have been here last night?"

"Of course he should have!" Akane exploded, balling her fists. "He lives here! He should have been here to stop this! Hell, he causes it half the-"

"Akane-chan, calm down." The Tendo patriarch pulled the daughter closer to him. The angry look persisted, but the daughter lapsed into silence. Tsubiki stared at the girl, then Soun Tendo. He glanced back down to his notepad to consult its information.

"Did you take in a boarder recently?" Tsubiki cocked his head thoughtfully, trying to make sense of the increasingly odd conversation.

"Of course not." Soun merely shook his head. "Even with Genma making peace with his wife, that still doesn't leave much room with the spare bedroom occupied."

"Occupied by _who?_" This time the police officer put a fine point on the question, causing Soun to stare at him oddly. Genma and his wife he was familiar with. But the other name...

"By Ranma, of course." Soun answered as he tried to figure out where the conversational disconnect was occurring.

Tsubiki Kiba scrunched his eyes as frustration began to get the better of him. "Alright, I'll need a full name and description of this Ranma."

"Ah, ha ha ha." Soun laughed nervously, eyeing the officer strangely now. "Funny, perhaps, though I'm not sure this is the best time to be joking, Kiba-san."

"You're claiming there was a murder in this house." Officer Kiba's tone dropped any pretense of familiarity. "I assure you, Tendo-san, I'm not joking."

Soun Tendo stared silently at the man before him. "But... You know... Black hair? Blue eyes? 160 centimeters? Engaged to marry my Akane here?"

The description did nothing to incite understanding in the officer's expression. Instead the man dutifully took down the information, glancing up as he did. "Well I supposed congratulations are in order for the young lady, though I'm sure it could have come at a better time than now."

He watched as Soun Tendo gaped at him and struggled for the right words. "You... You know Ranma. He lives here and you..."

Tsubiki shook his head. "First I've heard of it or him, I assure you."

"I... I... Ridiculous." Soun's tone finally firmed up. "You'll recognize him on sight. Kasumi?"

"Y-Yes father?"

"Fetch a photo from the wedding. The one with Ranma and Akane." The Tendo patriarch specified and his daughter ducked back inside the house to fetch the requested photo. She knew exactly which one he was talking about because it was the only good one to have emerged from the entire wedding debacle. Every other picture had scenes of fiancees fighting, rivals fighting, Akane and Ranma... arguing?

She came up to the shelf the picture was perched on and her step faltered even before she had come into arms reach of it. She stared as she hesitantly took it in hand. After a wide eyed moment she returned with it, thoughts whirling even as her father glanced back at her. The police officer waited beyond patiently. Kasumi held the photo out for him with reservation.

"Um, f-father... There's something-"

"Ah, here it is, officer." Soun took the silver framed photo from her thoughtlessly and transferred it to Tsubiki's possession. He looked at it for a moment, nodding.

"She'll make a fine bride one day," Officer Kiba stated evenly, handing it back. "Where is the one with this Ranma in it?"

Soun stared, then looked down at the frame handed back to him. It was Akane in all her bridal glory. The white wedding dress alone had cost a small fortune to rent, but it had been worth it to see her on the cusp of womanhood. There was only one problem.

It was _only _Akane in the photo.

Soun Tendo's eyes widened. He shot a glance to Kasumi, who shrugged helplessness, then to Akane. The girl was utterly clueless and attempted to get a better view of the picture. The sudden, audible gasp told him she had seen exactly the same thing.

"Tendo-san, look..." Officer Kiba began wearily. "It's been a trying time. You know that and I know that."

"I'll get Genma on the phone right now. He can confirm-"

"I also know what the first responders found last night," The man held up a patient hand, interrupting Soun. "Some storm damage, certainly, but no evidence of a break in. No evidence of a struggle. No fingerprints beyond those of your family. No-"

"My baby girl did not die of a heart attack!" The father erupted suddenly and began to encroach on the police officer's personal space with righteous indignation. "That witch killed her!"

Tsubiki's eyes flicked from him to the two daughters who nodded with the proclamation. Another tired sigh escaped his lips. This time he shook his head reluctantly. "Alright Tendo. Stranger things have happened. I'll submit the report, but-"

"Thank you officer!"

But," Kiba interrupted his enthusiasm before it could gain any further steam. "I want you to carefully consider what you're telling me. I'll be back by tomorrow. If you want to _change _it in any way, I would suggest you do it then."

"Why would I-"

"I feel for your loss, Tendo-san." Officer Tsubiki Kiba simply shook his head, then bowed. "Good day."

Two daughters and their father watched as the police officer turned and walked off. They were locked in their staring until Akane pulled the photo out of her father's hands to stare at it instead. The youngest Tendo sister boggled. It was as if she had taken a solo glamor photo in her wedding dress. That was strange by itself; eccentric even, but not nearly as strange as the fact that the man she called her fiance was _completely missing_ from the photo they had taken _together_.

By the time Akane had scrambled back into the house for further confirmation, another drama was unfolding four kilometers to the south as the school day started anew at the last bastion of educational hope known as Furinkan High. An eight year old old girl with long brown hair yawned obnoxiously as she hopped up into her chair and shuffled paperwork across her teacher's desk until finding one document in particular. She eyed the list for a moment and nodded to herself before returning her attention to the class.

"Attention class!" Her preadolescent voice piped. While there wasn't much authority to be found in its tone, the promise of a Five Yen ki draining technique ensured the pre-class gossip subsided with the girl's announcement. She waited a moment longer before reading from the paper in hand. "As some of you may have heard, the Tendo household has suffered a tragedy; thus Akane will not be in attendance for the next few days. I will be available to forward any sympathies you may have for her and her deceased sister, upperclassman Tendo, Nabiki."

She allowed the murmur of discussion to permeate the room for another moment before beginning the roll call. "Koyasu, Daisuke!"

The boy in question stopped his side discussion with the student across the aisle from him and raised his hand promptly for the eight year old rather than risk a his ki being drained so early in the school day. "Present."

Miss Hinako glanced up to confirm her student's presence before moving to the next name. "Jinnai, Tatsuyuki!"

"Present!" Another voice replied briskly, his presence discarded by the diminutive educator as quickly as it had been brought to her attention.

"Kounji, Ukyo," Miss Hinako continued without even looking up as she checked the requisite names off the attendance sheet.

"Sensei." The okonomiyaki chef raised her hand absently as she considered the empty seat representing Akane's absence. Ranma was likewise absent, though that made sense. '_Maybe duck out at lunch to see how things are back at the dojo_,' Ukyo decided silently as the child educator continued her role call.

Miss Hinako had moved on in that moment, checking off several names in the meantime.

"Tsujitani, Hiroshi!"  
_"Here!"_  
"Makato, Suji!"  
_"Present, Sensei!"_  
"Saotome, Ranma!"

Silence. Miss Hinako sighed with an edge of annoyance and looked up for the first time since starting the morning ritual. _'No Ranma,_' she immediately noted, though that in itself was hardly a surprise. Punctuality was not the martial artist's defining trait, even if that punctuality was normally handicapped by external circumstance more often than not. Even though the very though annoyed her, today she was willing to let it go due extenuating circumstances.

"Miss Kuonji," The girl behind the desk snapped, jarring the teenager from her thoughts. "Ensure Saotome and Tendo receive their homework."

Ukyo nodded dutifully but smiled internally at the perfect valid excuse to visit the dojo. Off to her left, Daisuke raised his hand.

"Um, Sensei?" The teenage boy asked somewhat tentatively, looking around the room as if distracted. Miss Hinako nodded her permission and the student cocked his head with a befuddled look, asking his question. "Who's Saotome, Ranma?"

Ukyo blinked. Miss Hinako stared, equally perplexed as she considered the unlikely question. _'Who's Saotome, Ra-?'_

"Yeah, I was wondering that too," Another girl piped up, and both Ukyo and Ninomiya's increasingly bug-eyed staring tracked to her now. "Is he a new student?"

"Is he cute?" Another girl wondered aloud.

"Just what we need, more competition for Akane!" A boy to the right groaned, finally causing Ukyo's dam of incredulity to burst.

"What do you mean _'is he a new student?'_" She stood up from her desk abruptly, favoring her fellow classmates with rising ire. She pointed blindly to the row behind her. "He sits right there!"

Silence held the class as they stared at the agitated girl until finally another spoke up. "Um, that's Suki-chan."

The chef blinked, whirling around to the seat whose location she knew by heart to find... Ukyo's head lolled to the side in befuddlement. There was no empty seat belonging to Ranma Saotome. It was, in fact, occupied by Suki Makato, who in turn stared back in uncertainty. Ukyo Kuonji's mouth hung open for a moment, at least until the gibbering began.

"But that's... He's... You're not supposed to be..."

Even Miss Hinako was standing up now, but she wasn't merely focused on the single out of place student. Now that Ukyo had drawn attention to it, she could see that the entire classroom's desk layout was subtly different. Something told her that Suki was supposed to be in exactly the spot she sat, something that directly conflicted with over a year's worth of memories. It was either one supremely odd practical joke to be playing, or... The part time child began to shift through her paperwork even as Ukyo began to interrogate her classmates.

_'Last week's tests.'_The girl confirmed and began to shuffle through the manila folder that held them. Her frown grew the deeper into the thirty page stack she progressed until she reached the bottom. Miss Hinako stared at the stack, tuning out the somewhat heated conversation that was brewing beyond her desk and slid open the bottom left drawer of the desk. Detentions slips. Seating chart. She rifled through the small stack quickly, then shoved the drawer shut. The brunette hopped from her seat and produced a key from her dress, quickly stepping over to a filing cabinet that was almost as tall as she was in her current form. A squawk of alarm caused her pause and she turned to find the teen chef bodily lifting Daisuke from the ground by the collar with threats of physical violence to which the panicked boy continued to plead his innocence.

Some of the class looked for their mentor's intervention, only to watch her shrug and return to the cabinet. She unlocked the middle drawer at eye level open and stood up on her tiptoes to actually see, let alone reach, inside in order to access the student files. After another five minutes and a second pass through them, the girl slid the cabinet shut. An uncharacteristically serious expression fell upon Ukyo Kuonji, who now had the same wheezing boy pinned against the south wall with the edge of her battle spatula.

"Miss Kuonji!" Fiancee number two stiffened, as if she had just realized her method of interrogation left a bit to be desired. Even as the apology left the black haired teen's lips, Miss Hinako cut her off. "Come with me. The rest of you will study chapter twelve until I return."

"But something's-!"

"_Now_, Miss Kuonji." The brunette girl demanded impatiently, prompting irritation to play across Ukyo's face. She cast a glare back at her victim, causing the boy to flinch before finally relenting with a contemptuous sniff. Ukyo turned on the ball of her foot and slung the spatula back across her back as she followed Miss Hinako from the room and into the central hall where it took a just under a dozen steps for the girl to find her voice again without care of reprisal.

"Sensei, what the hell is going-!" The okonomiyaki mistress blurted, only to be silenced once more by Hinako's chiding tone.

"Language, Miss Kuonji!" She glanced back over her shoulder with a no-nonsense look that would have looked completely out of place on any other child. This one could back it up, however, forcing Ukyo to merely stare back expectantly. The girl seemed to take a moment to compose her own thoughts until she stopped completely, favoring her student with a serious countenance.

"You remember Ranma-kun. I remember Ranma-kun. The rest of our class does not," The eight year old girl explained, point back toward the classroom. "Nor is he in my records. Not on the seating chart. Nor the tests. No detention slips. Nothing."

"But that's..." Ukyo blinked, likewise turning back to the class room as a feeling of dread and wonder began to settle in her stomach. She turned back to Miss Hinako. "It's a joke?"

"An incredibly stupid one," The girl huffed her annoyance and returned back to her path of travel. The chef fell in step behind her as she continued to voice her annoyance. "Not to mention easily disproved."

The pair rounded a corner and Miss Hinako was suddenly all smiles as another teacher approached from the opposite end of the hallway. The girl became quite animated before Ukyo's very eyes, all but leaping for the other teacher's attention. "Miss Ginko! Miss Ginko!"

The slender black haired woman's attention was pulled away from the book she had been engrossed in as she walked and onto the girl. The physically older woman adjusted her glasses as teacher and student approached. "Miss Hinako? Shouldn't you be-"

"You've heard about Akane Tendo?" The child didn't let her finish and the woman's face was suddenly filled with emotion, indicating she obviously had.

"That poor girl," Miss Gino shook her head sympathetically and chose the wording of her condolences carefully. "Granted, her sister wasn't the most... _popular_ student in school, but a tragedy is a tragedy none the less. I take it Akane-chan has taken leave?"

"Of course." Miss Hinako made her own token show of sympathy before moving onto the the real focus of her chat. "How do you think it will affect Saotome-san?"

The teach blinked. "Saotome-san?"

Any expression remaining on Ukyo's face vanished into a complete emotional void as the conversation descended deeper into the rabbit hole. The brunette child's smile remained, now plastered on in spite of the worrying confirmation she was receiving. "Yes, I wonder how he's taking the death of Akane's sister?"

_'Cheering and lighting off fireworks, probably,' _Ukyo thought sarcastically, but watched the drama before her continue to play out as a confused expression enveloped the older woman's face.

"Are they related?" Miss Ginko asked. Cocking her head without seemingly any clue as to who Ninomiya was speaking of. The brunette helpfully filled in the details.

"Oh, he's her fiance." Miss Hinako replied easily, causing a minor gasp from the woman.

"But so young!" The teacher shook her head as if it were the very first time she had heard the news. The girl, however, knew otherwise. Everybody teacher in Furinkan knew of the tumultuous relationship between Ranma and Akane as well as the mutual entanglements it created. It was regular teacher's lounge gossip as a matter of fact, but the eight year old humored the woman's knowledge gap regardless.

"Arranged marriage." Miss Hinako nodded, prompting wider eyes from the woman. "I mean, who does that now-a-days anyway?"

"Ridiculous if you ask me," The black haired woman shook her head in amazement. "Some parents-"

"Good chat! Gotta go!" Hinako suddenly effused, drawing the conversation to an abrupt close. She gave the woman a wave and turned back to Ukyo. "Come along, Miss Kuonji!"

Miss Ginko blinked at the sudden abandonment, watching as Ninomiya began to pull her student down the hallway. She shook her head again, contemplating the juicy tidbit of gossip that had landed in her lap until stumbling upon another piece of realization...

...Like shouldn't the girl be teaching a class right now?

* * *

"**L**unch is ready!"

The announcement was unnecessary for the most part, since all but one of the meal's participants were present and accounted for. Belldandy's gaze flicked across the table she had set the tan bamboo tray of turkey sandwich rolls upon, then across to those gathered. Keichii was present, of course, sitting at the head of the table; waiting like the patient soul he was. The Goddess of the Present smiled lovingly for him and it was returned in equal measure. Skuld, on the other hand, was animated impatience. The black haired girl leaned away from the table to stare down the hall in the hopes that the forth person would have heard her elder sister.

Belldandy too watched the hallway expectantly; expectations that fell on the rocks after another solid minute of inactivity. A perturbed sigh erupted from the Goddess of the Future, and she see sent a pleading look up to her brunette sister.

"Can we just eat without her, onee-chan?" Skuld cast another glance down the hall, then returned to her sister with another sour look of annoyance.

Belldandy simply shook her head, favoring the girl with that same gentle smile. "Patience, imoutu. I'm sure she'll be right out."

"But we've been waiting ten minutes already!" The little goddess complained, staring longingly at the lunchtime meal that was every bit an artistic creation as it was actual sustenance. The older sister considered the argument and couldn't help but to find some merit residing therein.

"Perhaps," She assuaged patiently, reassessing the situation for herself. "I'll go and check on her."

"That means I can start in, then?" Skuld eyed her sister hopefully. Belldandy's shake of head dashed her hopes.

"Patience." The brunette reiterated. "It won't take but a moment."

The Goddess of the Present untied her white ruffled apron and laid across her own chair's backrest and smoothed out her light pink dress before proceeding into the empty hallway herself. Two doors later she came upon the third, partially cracked open. Belldandy cocked her head as the murmurs of conversation drifted to her ears from the room.

"Maybe it all ties into the that insane gymnastics girl?"  
"No, I don't think so. I mean look over here... There's her brother who he met first."  
"Okay, so they're both insane."  
"Well, sure, but what does it all have to do with Mom?"  
"She could have driven them insane."  
"What, insanity through association?"  
"Well, they're both after him, right?"  
"Well yeah... But... No, let's keep it simple. We're missing-"

"Urd-chan?" Conversation ceased as Belldandy pushed open the door, finding the white haired goddess sitting cross-legged on her bed talking to the modest sized rat next to her. Both turned back to the newly arrived goddess, who in turn stared.

"Oh, hi, Bell-chan." Urd waved nonchalantly and watched as her sisters gaze flicked back and forth across the room. In any other household, it would have been the white haired supermodel conversing with a rodent that would have attracted the wide eyed stare. Not so here. This household was the residence of one mortal and three Norn goddesses, routinely visited by infernal agents, spirits of all sorts and occasionally family and friends.

No, it wasn't her sister talking to a rat that held Belldandy's undivided attention now. It was the pictures. Boys. Girls. Adults scattered here and there across the wall. There were easily two dozen of the 3x4 glossy photos pinned to the wall, every last one of them interconnected by a red strand of string that ended up criss-crossing every available surface. The goddess of the present's study flicked from photo to photo, following the thread that invariably intersected with three larger pictures of the center. Two were of Ranma Saotome as a black haired male and redheaded female. The other was of the Daimakaicho herself.

"I... This is..." Belldandy blinked, still tracing the thread across its endless circuit from one photo to the next. She finally shook her head, focusing back upon her white haired sister. "What is this?"

"Piece of work, isn't it?" Urd swung two shapely legs to the beds edge and bounced up before stepping over to her sibling. She turned back to the wall, gesturing to it. "_This_is the life of the genderjock."

"Okay," The brunette hesitated, her eyes once more tracing the string. "But what is it doing in your room?"

"We're trying to find out where the involvement between the Daimakaicho and Ranma stems," The gray rat answered back. He shook his his furry head in an almost sympathetic manner. "The kid's life is an absolute train wreck."

"We were hoping we could untangle some of the mess and see where it led," Urd continued the explanation as her finger began to unconsciously trace the red string. Belldandy watched with moving finger with slight concern but let her sister finish. "But Gan-chan's right. It isn't just a train wreck. It's a train wreck with wings and fire juggling clowns on rocket engines." The finger paused an the Goddess of the Past paused with the thought and an introspective look. "Say, maybe we should get Keichii in here to take a look at it."

"Ah, perhaps you should take a break for lunch," Belldandy forced a smile withe the attempt to divert her sister from enlisting Keichii engineering expertise for the project. "I've made sandwich rolls?"

Urd seemed indecisive, her attention wavering between the door and the thread strewn wall. She turned back to Belldandy. "And sake?"

The brunette nodded all too readily. "Of course!"

The elder sister took a final look back at the wall, but nodded. "Yeah, I think we could use a break. Come on, Gan-chan."

The scruffy rat likewise nodded, jumping onto the tanned hand Urd had lowered for him. He ran up her arm and found a perch onto her shoulder and both followed Belldandy from the room and out to the table. Skuld caught sight of her sisters rolled her eyes.

"About time!" She huffed, her hands already moving to intersect with the sandwich roll. "I thought we were going to starve out here!"

"Stuff it, squirt," Urd rolled her eyes, pulling out a chair even as Belldandy circled around to sit next to Keichii. "Besides, Kami-sama doesn't lock time lines down without a reason."

"So?" The black haired teen eyed her sister. "Figure it out yet?"

"And just what do you think I was working on?" Urd snorted sarcastically, but shook her head. "But seriously, if you're not part of the solution-"

_Knock-knock-knock!_

"I'll get it," The only male of the group stated easily, pushing away from the table with thoughts mainly geared toward not wanting to be at the table when the bickering between Urd and Skuld finally came to a head. And it would, Keichii reassured himself, and abandoned ship for the doorway.

"Well it's not my fault you're mother is a meanie!" The conversation continued as Skuld returned fire between bites.

"Scaredy cat." Urd stated simply, prompting another glare, while Belldandy ate peacefully. She could interfere but there was still a chance- A shuffling attracted her attention and she turned to find Keichii stumbling backing back into the dining room.

"Ah, ha ha... just calm down with that!"

The bickering stopped as all eyes turned upon Belldandy's fiancee. He wasn't alone. A teenage girl with long dark brown hair followed, no, _stalked_him as he retreated. Nor was she alone. The length of a long, flat edged weapon followed threateningly in hand and behind her was someone everybody at the table recognized. All three women stood up as Keichii scurried behind them.

"That's her alright." The black haired girl sized up the three women, focusing on the white haired woman instantly. She gave the stainless steel weapon a twirl as a twenty something adult woman in a pale yellow mini joined her and nodded.

"So it is."

"Then lets get this over with," Ukyo Kuonji frowned at the trio of women and the man behind them. "I'll ask this one time and one time only: _Where's Ran-chan?_"

"You can't just barge in here!" Skuld stamped her feet, pointing indiscriminately at the pair. "And _you_again!"

"Yes, me again," Miss Hinako leveled a cool gaze on the girl. "Since your delinquency apparently knows no bounds, I have returned."

"Cool it kiddo, I got this." The Goddess of the Past stepped forward with a smirk for the woman. "You really want to try this again? Because I can guarantee the result will be the same as before."

"Urd, please, not this time." Belldandy advised, stepping up along side her sister. She placed a restraining hand on her shoulder, gently pulling her back as she decided a more active role on her part would be necessary if property damage was to be avoided. She studied both women for herself and could all but taste the hostility rolling off them in waves. "Perhaps you can tell us what is troubling you?"

Ukyo's grip on the shaft of her combat spatula flexed impatiently, though Miss Hinako placed a similarly restraining hand on the girl's shoulder and took up the negotiations for herself. "A student of mine is missing. You are likely to know where he is."

"So call the police already," Urd rolled her eyes, then stopped short with sudden realization. "Wait, let me guess. The kid, right?"

"His name is _Ranma_." Ukyo stressed, her voice laden with threat.

"But what makes you think we know where he is?" Belldandy worked the situation patiently, trying to figure out what had agitated the mortals so badly.

"Because of the way he disappeared," Ninomiya Hinako advised with cool accusation. "Some would say '_magically_'."

"What does that have to-" Urd's rebuttal stalled as she turned the matter over in her mind, chaining several facts and the boy's association with her own mother into the equation. She reset her train of thought. "Magically how so?"

Miss Hinako eyed the tanned woman, weighing the pros and cons of humoring her tanned adversary further verses outright attacking. Their last confrontation hadn't gone so well in her favor, making Ninomiya a fraction more amiable towards furthering the conversation. "Records have disappeared. People have forgotten he even exists."

"Not to mention the little voice in the back of our heads insisting that its all normal," Ukyo huffed, tapping the side of her skull with an index finger.

"Little voice in-" Urd blinked, then turned to Belldandy with a concerned look. "That almost sounds like..."

"I think I'll go check on it." Belldandy nodded hastily and turned to depart from the dining room. Skuld and Keichii stared after her while the two antagonistic mortal females refocused on Urd.

"More delinquency?" Miss Hinako arched an eyebrow, this time inciting a very serious reaction from the white haired goddess.

"Much as I love mine, no." Urd shook her head, her attitude all business now. "My sister is going to check on something that might be helpful."

"So you're saying you _didn't _kidnap Ranma?" Ukyo eyed the tanned woman warily. The near accusation was met with an exasperated sigh.

"How many times can I say it?" The eldest goddess placed her hands on her hips imperviously. "What the heck would we do with him anyway?"

"Marry him." Ukyo stated blandly. Urd merely rolled her eyes.

"As if." She rolled her eyes. "Not my type and definitely not my-"

"Urd, come quickly." Belldandy was back in the hallway with a grave look on her face beckoning the woman over. The white haired goddess looked at her, then to mortals and back, abandoning the standoff to come to her sister's aid.

"Bell-chan?" She eyed her younger sister, who actually seemed pale.

"I... It's...You won't believe..." Belldandy stammered uncharacteristically through her concern. Urd stared at the woman's wide eyed eyes. "She... She did it... She did it..."

"_Who_ did _what?_" Urd pressed. Belldandy hesitated for a moment before leaning in to whisper in her ear. The tanned goddesses' blue eyes widened with the hushed whisper. Her mouth opened but nothing came out as her brain promptly ran out of mental bandwidth.

Ukyo and Miss Hinako watched their adversary faint dead away.

* * *

"**A**w, come on. It can't be that bad." Ranma eyed his mother as she watched him fuss over the sleeve of his newest clothing acquisition. It was a black silk Chinese shirt custom tailored to fit. Not only was it custom tailored to fit him, it was custom tailored to fit _her_as Hild had advised early in the session. Every single item in the black and silver boxes had been magically imbued to resize itself in order to accommodate his body... No matter which he found himself in at the time.

The former Saotome fussed with the sleeve one more time, watching himself in the mirror as he did so. He gave his own trigger a mental push and the boy in the mirror shrunk into a redhead girl. The shirt and black silk pants continued to fit perfectly and she smirked with slight satisfaction. Of course, that wouldn't work with the mini she had tried on just a few moments before without some embarrassing explanation involved, but she was no longer at the beck and call of a water based curse. It was his now. And hers.

"Might makes right in most of hell and many will ask you to demonstrate your dominion over their person." Hild explained, simultaneously enjoying the dress up session she had engaged her daughter in while explaining the infernal facts of life. "While I am all but assured you are in the upper bracket of that right of way, the minions I employ would smear your greatest adversary to date across the landscape. You remember Neltharion, perhaps?"

That caused the martial artist pause._ Neltharion_. The giant black dragon. The one that actually could gobble up Saffron, the guy she barely eked out a victory against, in one bite without suffering from Phoenix King heartburn.

"Thus, much as I would like you to run around hell proper without escort, it would be ill advised until you choose to ascend." The Daimakaicho explained nonchalantly. She rocked herself up off of the bed and circled Ranma with an appraising look, picking at the black silk in order to straighten out any imperfections. "Marvelous. Simply Marvelous."

"Well, I guess if..." Ranma began, then paused, turning back toward Hild. "Wait. _Ascend?_"

"Of course, silly girl. You're my daughter now." The grand demoness held the redhead with a bemused smile. "The mortal shell you reside in is hardly fit for a celestial being, let alone my progeny. It simply waits to be discarded."

Ranma blinked at the white haired woman before her several times as her brain abandoned dwelling on the bitterness of being outclassed in an attempt to parse her mother's statement. M_ortal shell. Celestial being. Discarded. _The redhead opened her mouth, then closed it, shaking her head. "I still ain't sure what that means."

"It's quite simple." Hild offered patiently. "Twenty four hours ago you were a mortal. You would live, die and be judged in the fullness of time. Now you are my lineage. You are still mortal after a fashion, but it is a transient state. As my child, your destiny is now that of a celestial being."

"I... I guess?" Ranma cocked her head, trying to get a handle on the concept. She shook her head and hazarded a guess. "So I'm gonna die and be like you?"

"Or you could simply choose discard your mortality here and now," The white haired demoness shrugged. "Neither is without consequence of course. As a mortal you virtually have a free hand in your interaction throughout Midgard, though your influence in the celestial realms are limited. You could quite literally live out your days doing whatever it is mortals do until you died of old age."

"Or I could just chuck it and ascend." Ranma finished, failing to see a down side to the whole celestial thing. Hild simply nodded her own confirmation, but had a bit more to add.

"But not without consequence." She warned carefully, ensuring she had the young girl's undivided attention now. "Being my daughter would grant you power. Influence. _Awareness._You would literally be reshaped for a higher state of being, but for everything you gain you would loose such here on Midgard." The woman held her purple gaze on Ranma , then absently picked at a stray thread she had found on her silks before continuing. "It is not a choice to be made lightly, as you would be bound by the very same accords I would; especially since you would be less of a demon and more of an heir."

_Her heir? _She hadn't thought about it from that angle and Ranma was suddenly reminded of the jewelry that cloaked her mother's person and her inability to directly interfere in the Saffron battle. A frown enveloped her face. "Well that sucks."

"Some days more than others," Hild merely chuckled. "Though it is certainly not without its-"

**_THUNK-THUNK!_**

"MOTHER!" Whatever the demoness was about to say was left hanging on her tongue as a series of sharp reverberating thuds cut through the atmosphere. Both mother and daughter turned toward the open bedroom door as another heavy handed salvo was heard, followed again by the harsh female screech."WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOU HAD BETTER LET US IN OR ELSE!"

"Or else what, my impetuous offspring?" Hild sighed to herself, shaking her head. She cast a patient smile over to Ranma. "Whatever do you so suppose she wants?"

"A swift kick in the ass?" Ranma smirked back, causing the Queen of the Damned a chuckle. "Barrin' that, I'm thinkin' she caught wind of last night."

"As do I." The Daimakaicho nodded, proffering her hand to the redhead. Ranma took it and Hild gave it a tender squeeze. "Shall we introduce Urd-chan to her new family?"

"Do we gotta?" Ranma hesitated and Hild responded by gently pulling her on behind.

"You of all people should know that sooner is better than later." The tanned woman responded, noting that Mara was already leaning against the doorframe, rolling her eyes as the yelling continued from the other side. Ranma nodded reluctantly. Best deal with the fallout now as opposed to letting it pile up. _Like last time_, she noted sourly.

"Should I let her in, boss?"

Hild put an inquiring finger to her chin, cocking her head slightly as if still trying to decided on the merits of letting her other daughter in. "Perhaps we should let her stew for another moment longer."

"Hild-sama, we would request that you see us immediately," A gentler voice followed from beyond the door, prompting Mara to look at it, then the Daimakaicho.

"Sounds like they brought the entire gang along." The blond observed and Hild merely nodded. The demoness eyed Ranma as well. "What do you wanna bet that the squirt's out there too?"

"And her tin can robot?" Ranma speculated with mild amusement.

"Quite the party." Hild chuckled agreeably and nodded to Mara. "Best let let them in. Besides, Belldandy is much more fun to tease in person."

Mara grasped the doorknob and turned. She had barely opened the door open a crack before nearly being bowled over as it was forced, admitting no less than five new women. Ranma watched the females rush in, recognizing every last one. The most animated was undoubtedly Urd, who had a crazed look in her eyes as she waded directly into the apartment's living room. Following her was the brunette she had come to know as Belldandy, who, in spite of her surreally calm nature seemed visibly agitated. Skuld followed, though her gaze was solidly transfixed on Hild and held more than its share of trepidation.

It was the last two women that caused the redhead's eyes to widen in surprise, however.

_'Ukyo? Miss Hin-'_

"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Urd exploded, stepping up to her mother to confront her directly. Hild merely arched a single doubting eyebrow as her estranged daughter's meltdown continued at full steam. "Taking the middle Tendo girl was bad enough, but accessing the supreme force at the root level just for you stupid games? At first I thought you were just a self serving nihilist. But this... Him! Her!"

"Now now, don't spoil the surprise, Urd-chan," Hild tisked, having noted Ranma's suddenly focused attention. She winked for the redhead, favoring her with a mysterious smile before turning back to her other daughter. "Perhaps we should continue this discussion when you have calmed-"

"I will not calm down!" Urd stomped on the plush carpet. The action seemed to ramp up the amperage around her person and the Goddess of the past began to crackle with electricity. "Are you actually trying to tear reality apart just for your amusement?"

Hild opened her mouth to respond once more only to be interrupted again. This time the source of the interruption was mortal and armed with a combat spatula nearly her height. "And what the hell are you doing kidnapping my Ran-chan!"

This time Ranma opened her mouth to answer the charge against Hild, but like her mother, didn't get very far. "Look, it's not like-"

"This behavior is irresponsible at the highest level, Hild-sama," Belldandy admonished sternly, drawing the Daimakaicho's attention now with a bemused look. "Heaven cannot and will not overlook such abuse of the system. Release the child so that we may-"

"And who's sayin' I need saving?" Ranma spoke up, stepping in front of Hild as he confronted the trio of Goddesses directly. The brunette favored him with a sympathetic look.

"This for your own good, Saotome-kun," The woman took the redhead's hand gently into her with a charitable smile. "Please come with us and we can straighten this out."

Ranma stared at the hand for a moment before a dead chuckle escaped her lips. She raised her gaze to the well meaning goddess, favoring her with a cool amethyst gaze just before brushing the woman's hand off completely, breaking contact. Belldandy's smile slipped into uncertainty as she the girl's stare bore into her. "I already got enough people thinkin' they know what's 'for my own good' _without_your help."

Belldandy very nearly flinched at the measure venom in the redhead's tone, knowing in that moment that they had made a dire miscalculation somewhere concerning the the pair's relationship. The words were one thing. The eyes were something else entirely; a disturbing something else, and the goddess couldn't help but to look upon the Daimakaicho with a dawning realization that ran the borderline between awe and horror.

_"Hild-sama, what have you done...?"_The hushed whisper escaped unbidden from Belldandy's lips and a secretive smile was her only response from the tan demoness. She was about to press the issue when Ukyo stepped up next to her to take up her case.

"She's done something to you Ran-chan," The chef motioned over to the white haired woman behind her fiance, favoring her with a glare in the process. "A potion, a spell, I don't know, but she's erased you from everything!"

"I know."

Ukyo opened her mouth to throw her weight behind another argument, but stopped as the full portent of the girl's words was processed and comprehended. She blinked at Ranma, staring at her as if she had just grown a second head. "You_ do?_"

"Then what the heck is wrong with you, kid?" Urd blurted, all but ready to smack the martial artist upside the head. "You still don't get it! She's using you! These are games to her! She's the Queen of Ruin and Damnation!"

"She's my _mother_," Ranma stepped forward with growing irritation driving into her tone. The redhead invaded Urd's space directly, flexing her right hand into a fist as she continued the verbal rebuke. "And yours too if you pull your head out of your ass long enough to appreciate the fact."

"Oh, hey Urd," Mara waved from the sidelines with a cheeky smile in spite of the growing tension. The platinum goddess glanced at the blond demoness with a scowl, which Mara gleefully ignored. "That makes you sisters now, doesn't it?"

"IT DOES NOT!" Urd nearly screeched back, only to be diverted by a tug on her robe. She turned back only to find the cutest little redhead with puppydog eyes all but bouncing at her feet.

"Onee-chan! Onee-chan!" Ranma tugged incessantly, adopting the role of cute but supremely annoying little sister with uncanny ease. She stopped her hyperactive prancing and cocked her head innocently. "Can we go to the movies after we're done?"

"STOP THAT!" The goddess snatched her sleeve away, but couldn't quite keep the tick from her cheek as the redhead's personna posture faded back into cool arrogence. The smirk and conceited hand on her hip only irritated Urd further and she pointed an accusing finger at both mother and daughter. "You're not my sister and she's not my mother!"

"If you ain't family, then maybe its about time you haul ass." Ranma snorted, jabbing a thumb to the apartment door. "Don't let it hit you on the way out."

"Why you little ingrate...!"

"Dear, please stop antagonizing your sister." Hild smiled sweetly as she gave the girl an affectionate pat on the head. The twitching on Urd's left cheek only increased. "She merely needs time to adjust."

"When hell freezes-" A gentle hand on her shoulder stalled her rebuke, and Urd watched Belldandy curiously as she stepped back to the fore to confront Hild directly.

The brunette goddess stared at the embodiment of all known evil, then the girl standing in close proximity to her. Something was very off. The master-servant relationship she had expected the Daimakaicho to be grooming the Saotome child for was completely absent. It was almost if... Memories flashed unbidden through her mind's eye as an unlikely thought began to congeal.

_"The general consensus from above is that you are toying with her for your own amusement. It cannot continue, nor shall we allow it."_

_"Toying, hmmm? Like how you toy with the Morisato boy?"_

_"She knows you and Keiichi, and she knows you wouldn't play games with him like that. Of course, there's the distinct possibility that she's just indulging in her version of fun, but..."_

A silent 'oh' formed on Belldandy's lips, eliciting a more pronounced smirk from the Queen of the Damned. The brunette glanced back to Ranma and watched as Hild pulled the girl into a comforting embrace. The Goddess of the Present blinked several times as several thoughts collided into a jumbled mass, forming into something slightly more coherent, but no less believable.

"My, my. Such effort," The woman opposite of her merely chuckled at her realization. "Are you finally getting it, Bell-chan?"

Belldandy stared for another full moment before producing a simple nod. "I believe I am, Hild-sama."

"And here I was hoping for a few more days of worth of doubt and uncertainty to stew in that pretty little head of your's," Hild sighed, as if somebody had just revealed the punchline to a joke before its time.

The goddess ignored the implied insult and focused on Ranma instead. "You do realize there is no going back from this?"

Ranma's face scrunched with annoyance, as if the redhead had just perceived another insult. "_I pushed the button_."

_And allowed the child direct access to Hild's own personal node within the Nidhogg,_Belldandy summarized the path from 'A' to 'B' and the implications directly supporting her own theory. There would be no reason to let an underling within arms length of that access point, and that was because Ranma wasn't an underling.

Ranma Saotome was _family_now.

Hild's daughter. Urd's half sister. And now with the backing of the Ultimate Force, all of creation would acknowledge the fact.

"Going back from what?" Ukyo finally cut in, unable to bear being so far out of the loop as to not even comprehend what was going on. She focused her helplessness squarely on Ranma. "What button? What in the world is going on here?"

Ranma eyed the person that was perhaps his oldest childhood friend, debating how to explain something she herself wasn't quite yet ready to put into words, let alone explain. the redhead sighed; the action seemingly affecting her very gender as the girl was reshaped into a man before her very eyes. The chef stifled a slight gasp as she realized that apparently a cure was amongst the other mysteries as yet to be explained. She sough an explanation in his blue gray eyes she had known for so long and found something else entirely.

_Lavender. _

Like the woman's behind him. her gaze flicked back and forth warily and Ukyo gripped the shaft of her battle spatula with more purpose. "Ran-chan, what's going on? Your eyes..."

"I... I'm out, Uc-chan." Ranma stumbled at first but gained a measure of confidence as Hild gave the boy's shoulder a supportive squeeze. He shook his head, his tone becoming more forceful with each word. "I'm done with the Panda. I'm done with my mo-that woman. I'm done bein' whored out like a piece of meat."

Ukyo stared. It was probably the most substantive thought Ranma had ever shared with her... Possibly even with anybody she knew in Nerima, but there was still the question. "But what does that have to do with... her? This?"

Ranma took a deep breath, steeling himself for the explanation that could break either way with the girl. He had considered this moment for a long time and still wasn't looking forward to it._ 'Goddamn mummy was easier than this_,' the martial artist groused mentally as he took every last second available to him to decide on how to break the news. Another light squeeze on the shoulder simultaneously comforted him and prodded him forward...

...Into the breech.

"I disowned 'em, Ukyo." The black haired boy shook his head as the reminiscence of a wound only twenty four hours old played through his mind's eye. Anguish raked across his psyche, though the only outward evidence of its passing was a heavy sigh as he continued. "I got family, but it ain't a Saotome and it sure as hell won't be a Tendo."

Ukyo stared as her synapses took to rapid fire through the shock, breaking down the terse explanation. '_He disowned them!'_ It was a shock, but at some level, not so. She knew first hand his old man was a piece of work. She suspected his mother was one thing short of another, but was willing to humor the woman if it got her closer to Ranma._ 'He disowned them!' _the thought thundered through her brain again and with it more cascading revelation. Not only were his mother and father no longer a factor, but the Tendo's were out. Gone.

_'Akane!'_

It was almost too much for the chef to hope for. The single biggest barrier to any relationship with Ranma had just been removed. There was still Shampoo, of course, but that well had been poisoned a long time ago by her estimation. It was all she could do to restrain the victorious shout welling up from her soul, but there was one thing preventing its escape. Ukyo's eyes flicked up to the woman backing him. It was _her._The woman from that night in her own restaurant. It was the way she stared down her, her amethyst gaze consuming her like an insect waiting to be dissected. It was her thin, cryptic smile and how it seemed to hold the punchline to a joke; a joke that undoubtedly promised to be on her.

_'Their eyes are the same...!'_

Several unlikely thoughts vectored through and around one another, giving rise to a singular moment of inspiration as their very last meeting in the restaurant was recalled with vivid clarity. The hows and why's were still a huge unknown, but he had disowned his parents. The Tendos were out. _'And this woman, his friend...?'_

_'Fortune favors the brave,'_she decided, taking a gamble far larger than the one she had as a little girl in some backwater betting hall. She squared up her shoulders and took a deep breath, ensuring that the woman's attention was completely on her before dropping into a formal bow. "If it would be considered proper, I would like to formally request to be considered as Ranma-kun's fiancee."

The enigmatic smile remained when she finally recovered from the bow, but Hild had arched an eyebrow now, as if she hadn't expected this particular outcome. Ukyo watched as the woman seemed to cock her head slightly and consider the the question even as Ranma himself was left stunned and blinking. The chef had her answer seconds later.

_"No."_

Ukyo opened her mouth to shore up her case, but was instantly overridden by Ranma. The fact that he had shrunken into the form of teenage girl was almost a footnote compared to the verbal torrent she released.

"Dammit, Uc-chan, I ain't a piece of meat!" The redheaded martial artist blurted a fraction of a second later, pinching her nose in frustration. Ukyo recoiled physically as the words hit her. "I didn't flush it all just ta jump right back into it! I'm done bein' everybody's fiancee. Done with the Panda sellin' me off. Done bein' some violent chick's punching bag."

"But... but..." The Okonomiyaki master reached out to take Ranma's hand or simply touch him, but he backed further into the tanned woman's embrace, retreating to her the comfort.

"I'm off the market." The girl shook her head emphatically as her agitation slowly seemed to wind down. Hild merely stroked her daughter's red hair as the scene unfolded. "That includes Akane, Shampoo, Kodachi and... And it includes you too."

"But... I... Me and you..." Ukyo faltered as the very words she had never wanted to hear were voiced aloud. She stumbled back a step, using the shaft of her spatula for support as she shook her head in denial. "No. No, no_, no no..._"

The thought had just formed in Ranma's brain to reach out to her on instinct when the dark haired teen's head snapped up, her eyes full of fury. "WHAT ABOUT MY HAPPINESS, DAMMIT?"

"AND WHAT ABOUT _MINE?_" Any sympathy instantly evaporated with the girl's challenge, prompting Ranma to respond in kind. "I sure as hell didn't ask for this!"

"Your fat-ass father-!"

"That fat-ass ain't my father!" Ranma cut her off again, this time disengaging from the Daimakaicho's embrace to make the point as her ire rose. "If you got some beef with the Saotomes, take it up with a Saotome because I ain't one of them."

"He's your blood!" Ukyo insisted as her own her own ability to cope with the situation began to exceed any measure of goodwill she had for Ranma. Her mouth opened when the white haired woman stepped to the redhead's side with a malevolent look.

"No. _He is not._" Hild advised gravely. The very space around her began to darken as an blanket of despair wound itself around the occupants of the room. The woman's gaze lingered on her as if she were no longer just a bug, but a bug to be stepped on. Squashed. '_Eliminated_,' the word came to mind, effectively curbing any rash statements from being spoken without substantial consideration as to her own well being. The tanned woman stepped past Ranma to confront Ukyo directly, circling her person like a shark.

"Hild-sama, you will not-"

"You are in _my_abode, little goddess." The Queen of the Damned warned, largely ignoring the brunette stepping up in support of the Ukyo. She stopped after contemplating her prey, then lifted the chef's chin with a single tanned finger so that her eyes stared directly into Hild's amethyst gaze. The teenage girl trembled as the mischievous grin faded away, leaving something distinctly unpleasant and quite predatory with its passing. The battle spatula slipped from her grasp and dropped to the floor unnoticed.

"She is my daughter and I am her mother, little one, no one else," The woman's smooth melodic tone harbored a fatal note as she explained the situation in detail. "Your pacts, your history, _your very existence_ are irrelevant here. What _is_ relevant is that you have asked and received your answer. My child holds too much regard concerning your well being for her own good. _I do not_."

Ukyo Kuonji swallowed. Hard. The lump was clearly visible, transversing down her throat from the point Hild held her chin up. She wanted to tear her gaze away from the woman. Hell, she wanted to run, but seemed completely unable to communicate that fact to her frozen body as the lavender jewels threatened to consume her very soul.

"I suggest you think long and hard on this development, Miss Kuonji," The daimakaicho advised with surreal and deadly calm. "Else our next meeting may be less... _congenial_."

Hild removed that single finger from the girl's chin and she staggered back, gasping for breath. The light seemed to return to the room as the white haired woman,_ 'Witch!'_ Ukyo mentally amended, sauntered back to Ranma's side. She stared after her perfect form with no small wellspring of residual panic, then to Ranma, hoping to find... _something _in the redhead's eyes. An apology. Reprieve. _Anything._The redhead stared back, then shook her head solemnly, lowering her eyes to the carpet.

"That... That's it, then." Ukyo's voice faltered, audible only due to the silence of the room. When Ranma didn't look up, she knew. There were still huge gaps in her knowledge concerning what exactly had transpired between the pair, but one thing was now crystal clear. "I'll... I'll see my self out."

The okonomiyaki chef filed through the assembly of women and reached the door only a few steps later, where Mara opened it without a word. Ukyo gave one last look back to the still downcast redhead, then turned her back on her oldest friend, stepping across the threshold and out of sight into the hallway.

Silence hung about the room until Mara broke it with sarcasm, eyeing the remainder of the women as she held the door open. "Well? Anybody else?"

Urd cast a glare at the blond and the demoness threw a cheeky smile back. Belldandy merely nodded. "We will be going as well."

"Bell-chan, we can't possibly-" Urd attempted to sway her sister to continue the fight, only to watch her sister shake her head.

"The situation has become... _complex_," Belldandy overrode her older sibling, glancing back to Hild and her charge in study. "There is much to discuss."

"But!"

"Please, Urd-chan." Belldandy took her sister's hand's hand and began to gently lead her to the door. She gave one last look to the pair behind her. "We will be in touch, Hild-sama."

"I do so enjoy our little chats, Bell-chan." The daimakaicho smiled charitably for the goddess; too charitably and waved her hand. "Drop by _anytime._"

Belldandy frowned, but led the withdrawal of the Norns; leaving one person nearly forgotten in the commotion. Hild cocked her head at their last guest. She had entered an adult but now held the form of an eight year old child; reverting back unnoticed at some point during the tense standoff. Ranma watched her as she in turn watched the pair themselves until Ranma finally tired of her teacher's study.

"I'm suppose you got somethin' ta say about all this too?" Ranma asked with heavy emotion, already steeling herself for another confrontation. Miss Hinako stared for another moment before stepping forward with a neutral expression, stopping just before entering the redhead's personal space. The martial artist stood by warily and the moment hung between the two for a moment before the long haired child held out her hand with a smile.

"My name is Hinako, Ninomiya ," She chirped cheerfully, as if the past half an hour had never happened. Ranma boggled at the girl as she asked a completely unexpected question. "Would you like to be friends?"

Ranma blinked, now finding it impossible not to stare at either the girl or the hand outstretched to her. The idea stewed for a moment before a slow, friendly smile began to spread across the redhead's features. She took the brunette's hand in kind.

"Ah, yeah, Testrossa, Ranma. I think I'd really like that."

* * *

**Author's notes;** Merry Christmas! This is, of course, your main Christmas Present. If you can't find the other one, you'll have to set the story filter to 'M' or add me to your alerts next time :) 3am comes too damn early, so no comprehensive notes this time. I know this chapter seems a bit shorter, though that's probably due to the more focused subject matter. Hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Testarossa; _Meaning redhead in Italian. Japanese naming conventions just weren't doing it for me (ex; Ranma Misaki) and Shioran can be blamed for putting me on the westernized naming kick. Any fail in choosing Tesstrossa is purely mine. No relation to Nanoha or any other anime._

Name Game; _This could have gone several ways; anywhere from Ranma keeping the Saotome name and simply disassociating himself from the family to dropping the last name completely and going by just 'Ranma'. First, I considered that if the Ranma I have built to this point is disgusted enough to tell his family and reality to screw off, he's capable and quite possibly even willing to ditch the family name entirely. Second, Japanese societies place emphasis on family names with those without being at a distinct disadvantage._

Game On; _Initially I was going to portray Ranma as somewhat clueless concerning video games (growing up on the road and all) until Slade seemed to remember this not being the case. I did some research and sure enough you can find Ranma playing video games with Miss Hinako in book 30._

_**Special Thanks.** The regulars. Yo know who they are by now, right? DCG, Slade, Trimatter, DeltaTheta and of course, Dragon Dagger. This partticular chapter may have been rougher than usual since I didn't help her spank it completely like I normally do, but the sleep meds are kicking in and I want you to get this in time for Christmas :)  
_


	14. Chapter 13

"_All must find their own path, Child. You, Mara, Ranma and yes, even Hild-chan. I can on occasion, stack the deck, however. Just as Ranma is finding his own way, Hild will as well. Now, they will find it together. I have not yet given up on either."_

_-Kami-sama_

* * *

**Hell is a Martial Artist  
**Chapter 13

By _Ozzallos_

**O**nly a few days ago the bedroom had been hers and hers alone.

The space devoted to an actual bed and wardrobe were fairly small considering, but she insisted on elegance even if there was no actual reason to sleep or store garments since being a deity eliminated the necessity for either. Instead, a full third of the room had been taken up by an elaborate chemistry set that no Earthly scientist would recognize, and on any other day that chemistry set would be bubbling and smoldering with compounds any earthly scientist would sell their soul for.

Some actually had.

But that was the work of a different agency. Her _mother's_ agency. Urd's brow crinkled with the errant thought but pushed it aside to focus on the here and now. As such, the desk and its chemistry set sat silent, accompanied by the least likely of scientific implements: A pair of scissors and a sizable length of red ribbon cut haphazardly at both ends. They were also ignored in favor of the wall opposite of the set, a wall dominated by nearly two dozen three by four glossy photos of various individuals tacked to the wall in question. Less than twenty four hours ago all of those individuals had been interconnected by the severed ribbon lying on her desk. The photos still remained, but only two individuals remained connected now and the Goddess of the Past silently contemplated their meaning.

"She can't be serious about this," Urd murmured, more to herself than anybody else as she sought to derive sanity from the insanity of the last twenty four hours. Hild. The Daimakaicho. Queen of the Damned. _Her very mother_. The woman's picture remain pinned to the wall, one of the two still interconnected by the red ribbon. The other was Ranma Saotome. Martial arts heir. Gender jock. And now apparently her _half sister_.

Urd's brow crinckled with overt irritation at the thought. On one hand, Hild couldn't be serious about forming such a pact. She was never serious. About _anything_. On the other hand the Grand Mistress of hell had overwritten reality to formalize that bond. For a game, it was complete and utter overkill on an epic scale...

"I think she's quite serious, Urd-chan," Belldandy spoke softly from behind. The Goddess of the Past turned to find her sister waiting patiently in the bedroom doorway. The tanned woman simply pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"This is seriously screwed up," She grumbled and turned to fully face the brunette as she began to vent. "One moment we were trying to save the kid from eternal damnation and the next I have a half brother! Sister! Whatever! What the heck just happened?!"

"I don't think this is a game to her anymore," Belldandy shook her head softly, stepping fully into the room to join her sister. The Goddess of the Past stared as if failing to comprehend her statement, so she elaborated. "Remember when you explained to me that everything she does has a purpose? There's always a reason behind her actions?

"Sure. And her purpose is to mess with our-" Urd's irritation began to spin up again before being shushed by the single finger held up by Belldandy in a bid for patience.

"When we were first introduced to the Saotome child I accused Hild of the very same," The Goddess of the Present explained, her gaze passing over the picture covered wall before returning her attention to her sister. "I accused her of using Ranma for her own selfish ends and while her response wasn't necessarily a rebuke, she turned my own accusation back upon me and even insinuated that heaven was at fault for his circumstance."

"This is my mother we're talking about, Bell." Urd commented dryly, failing seeing the point. "She'll blame everybody but herself when things don't go her way."

"But you said it yourself," Belldandy pushed back gently. "She knows my feelings concerning Keiichi and yet she turned my accusation back at me. I'm certain now she was actually offended by my words!"

The platinum blond stared at her sister for several long seconds before responding. When she did so her tone was careful and deliberate. "You realize what you're implying, don't you? You're saying that the Wicked Witch of the West actually has a heart."

"She does," Her younger sibling replied with certainty. Urd's mouth opened to reject the premise but Belldandy inserted herself once again. "Perhaps not as you or I see it..."

"And how does Saotome fit into all of this again?" The Goddess of the Past raised a skeptical eyebrow, but allowed her sister to continue with the improbably hypothesis.

"Perhaps she sees something we don't," Belldandy shrugged, but traced the ribbon connecting the pair of photos with a light fingertip. Hild to Ranma. Ranma to Hild. "Hild-sama was attracted to her for a reason, but that reason has apparently transfigured..."

"Transfigured into my half sister." Urd rolled her eyes. "Or brother. Flip a coin."

"I simply can't see her utilizing the ultimate force for her own selfishness." The brunette shook her head, returning her attention to her sister.

"And I can," Urd stated blandly. "I can see her tugging on the Ultimate Force just to mess with us; justas easily as she turned Keiichi into a-"

The Goddess of the Present's cheeks pinkened. "I believed we agreed not to mention that again."

Her elder sister merely smiled knowingly, but it vanished into a look of consternation as quickly. "You just don't tweak the Ultimate Force for fun and games, and even then the dual lock out should have..."

Belldandy watched as her sister's expression faded into perplexed curiosity.

"The dual lockout." Urd stated, now completely distracted by the new train of thought. "Why didn't the lockout prevent...Oh my Kami-sama..."

"Urd?"

The Goddess of the Past's head snapped up, her focus renewing with intensity. "The dual lockouts should have prevented this. Hild would have initiated the request from the Nidhogg, which would have passed it to the Yggdrasil..."

"Which should have declined the request outright." Belldandy concluded easily, even lacking Urd's IT expertise.

"We were... We were _hacked!_" The blond's expression turned grim. The Goddess of the Past was suddenly quite animated as she stepped around Belldandy for the bedroom door. "I'm going to call in the breach. We're rolling everything: Anti-virus, IO lockdown, attack protocols, the works. That woman hacked the Yggdrasil and Lord knows what she's been doing since."

With that declaration, Urd was gone from the room leaving belldandy in wonder. After a moment of thought, she followed, resolving to make her own inquiries.

* * *

"Calm down, Tendo."

"She's what?! My condolences, old buddy. Nabiki-"

"By a witch?"

"No I haven't seen him. Maybe he's-"

"Yes. Yes. Spirited him away? Impossible."

"White hair? Tan?"

"Alright. Yes, I'll be right over. We'll get to the bottom of this."

_Click._

**G**enma Saotome set the receiver of the phone back onto the cradle with a light click and considered his best friend's words now that the said best best friend was no longer sobbing in his ear. It was an implausible tale to say the least- one with a tragic ending. The bespeckled martial artist stared at the phone with a measured look, weighing the components of the story as it was related to him: A witch, home invasion, murder and his own boy nowhere to be found through any of it.

_Not good._

On one hand he sincerely doubted that his son could simply be spirited away by anyone; witch, fiancee or otherwise. He'd never acknowledge the fact other than in the privacy of his own thoughts, but the boy was just that good and Genma couldn't help but to attribute Ranma's absence to another factor- The fight between Tendo daughter and his son.

'_Boy just doesn't know what's good for him,' _Genma concluded irritably and turned to the more troubling topic at hand. Nabiki Tendo, Soun's middle daughter was dead. _Killed._ While his own boy had been spirited off or not was very much in doubt, the murder of Soun's daughter was hardly conjecture or hearsay. '_And at the hands of a so-called witch, no less,'_ Genma thought grimly. If his old friend was to be believed she had not only murdered Nabiki, but betwixt the local law enforcement into believing the whole thing was merely an accident. In a world of pressure points, magical curses and memory erasure techniques, the balding martial artist was more than willing to take that portion of Soun's tale at face value; certainly it was more plausible than his boy getting kidnapped by the witch in question.

'_Ridiculous,' _Genma snorted mentally, finally turning away from the phone to walk the space of the dining room. He leaned into the kitchen, finding his wife preparing the morning's breakfast in a long royal purple nighty. A leering grin crept along the martial artists' face as his gaze lingered before catching her attention by clearing his throat. "There's been an incident at the Tendos. Soun needs help."

The chestnut haired woman blinked back curiously, pausing in the stirring of the soup bowl in hand. "It's not serious, is it?"

"I'm afraid it is." Genma shook his head. "I'll try and be back before noon. If Ranma comes home, send his butt over."

The Saotome patriarch was just turning away from his wife and the kitchen when her next question stopped him cold.

"Ranma?" The woman stared after her husband with a perplexed look even as he slowly turned back to her. "One of your old friends?"

Genma stared. And stared. Words failed him in that moment as Nodoka Saotome considered him curiously. The martial artist's mouth opened, then closed as his brain processed the unlikely question. The playful and downright sarcastic responses to her question were discarded as Soun's own description of events trickled back to the forefront of his mind. Foreboding settled around him like a cloak and he composed his answer simply.

"Ranma. The boy. _Our son_."

"Our _what?_" His wife blinked, her expression turning incredulous, then skeptical as she stepped forward to scrutinise her husband further. "Were you out drinking last night?"

"I-" It was the only word Genma managed as his spouse stepped into his personal space to give him a sniff.

"Or is this some kind of distraction?" Her countenance turned accusatory. "You had better not be looking for an excuse to haul off with Soun and the Master again. Don't think I'd forget how _that_ used to go, Dear."

"Nonononono!" Genma waved his hands in the face of her menace, stumbling back a step. "Tendo's daughter. Nabiki. She's passed and he needs help sorting it out."

Nodoka's eyes widened as the news forced a mental reset of her attitude. "Oh, how unfortunate!"

"Indeed, happened sometime last night,." He answered quickly in order to divert her further from the topic and the possibility of a katana in his future. "He thinks there may be something more to it, so I'm heading over to give him a hand."

"So tragic..." His wife's voice trailed off in concern as the events of the last two decades flashed through her mind. The man had already been unfortunate enough to see the death of his wife, but now a daughter as well? Nodoka's attention returned to the here and now after a moment's reminiscence. "I'll make a few calls while you're out. Maybe some of the other wives in the neighborhood can help Kasumi and Akane through the grieving."

"I'm sure he would appreciate it." Genma nodded, thankful to have averted the subject of Ranma until he could get a better handle of just what was going-

"And about this Ranma?" '_Damn,'_ He muttered from the privacy of his own thoughts. He could only watch as she continued her scrutiny of his person. "Last I checked, we didn't have a son."

"Ah, I meant _like_ a son." The martial artist ad libbed quickly. "He's _like a son_ to me. If he drops by, send him over to Tendo's."

Genma waited with nervous anticipation as she continued to stare at him skeptically, then signaled his reprieve with a simple nod. "Of course. Perhaps I will send lunch along with him. Tendo must be a basket case and will need all the help he can get. What does he look like?"

"Who?"

"This 'Ranma' friend of yours," Nodoka pressed patiently as she turned back to kitchen and stepped past the counter to open the refrigerator.

"Ah, uh.." Genma's mental stumbling continued as the implications to her question were rammed home through his thought process. Soun had mentioned that the local police had no recollection of Ranma and that the boy had somehow been erased from their pictures. '_The witches' doing, no doubt,' _he surmised grimly, but to affect his wife as well? What was even the point? Nodoka turned back towards him with another questioning look and Genma realized he had been quiet for too long. "Ah, about my height. Black hair. Wears it in a pigtail. blue gray eyes."

"Now that you mention it, he does sound vaguely familiar," Nodoka Saotome paused, placing a finger to her lips while tilting her head inquisitively. Genma's hope was just beginning to blossom with the recollection, only to have them dashed by her next recollection. "Didn't we have him over for dinner once a while back?"

Genma's staring returned for a solid minute until Nodoka turned from the kitchen counter to scrutinize him once more. She tapped the kitchen knife she had retrieved upon the cutting board with a subtly menacing frown. "Are you sure you're not hiding something?"

"Nope!" The bald martial artist stiffened as if plainly caught up in some sort of subterfuge. "Not hiding anything! At all!" Genma edged for the kitchen exit. "And if you see Ranma... Who is clearly _not_ our son... Send him over!"

His wife cocked her head to the side doubtfully but Genma had slid out of the kitchen and beyond her ability to pry any further information from him via spousal browbeating.

"Ranma..."

Nodoka rolled the name around on her tongue, trying to remember the occasion they had hosted him in the first place, but drew nothing based on Genma's description of the young man. She stood in silent thought for another moment before abandoning the effort with a slight shrug. The chestnut haired woman repositioned the kitchen knife in hand and resumed her chopping, secure in the fact that a visit from Genma's friend was sure to jar her memory.

* * *

"**N**o, I don't suppose remaining at Furinkan would be the best idea," The brunette on Ranma's right arm mused, her tone harboring a wistful tone even though she was resigned to accept the idea. The twenty some year old disciplinarian brushed a strand of her long mane off to the side of her cheek and considered the topic further. "While I won't pretend to understand it all yet, I will, of course, insist on his continued education."

"Oh, insist, shall you?" The white haired woman on the martial artist's left arm chuckled slightly but nodded in kind. "I have already arranged a special tutor for him, but I suppose a continued education in the here and now might be of some benefit."

"I've been called upon by a number of schools for special assignment in the past," The brunette offered as they walked down the sidewalk. Off to the side, a man walking in the opposite direction tripped and stumbled into a curbside store display. Miss Hinako didn't even register it as she continued. "I can compile a list of schools I would deem acceptable for Ranma-kun."

"I'm right here, you know?" The pigtailed boy raised his hand and waved it as if seeking permission in class. Both women continued on as if he hadn't spoken. Ranma rolled his eyes and let his attention wander as the pair continued.

"I have already deemed Juuban High an acceptable alternative," Hild offered, having already settled the matter well before miss Hinako's unnecessarily helpful input.

"Juuban..." The educator cocked her head, considering the woman's choice in educational facilities. It was one that she was quite familiar with. "Juuban's principle is Setsuna Meiou as I recall. I spent a few years straightening up a bullying element within several classes at her request. A strict woman, but fair."

HonkHonnn-**CRUNCH!**_Thump! _**CRaSH!**

Whereas the other two women didn't even bother to glance back at the street, Ranma did and found three cars joined bumper to bumper via warped fenders and mangled plastic. The collision had obviously been low speed in nature, but that didn't stop at least two out of the three occupants from staring at the three women far longer than propriety allowed for, causing the the black haired boy to smirk slightly. Their state of distraction was understandable, of course.

Miss Hinako, for example, was wearing her traditional pale yellow skirt that, while quite modest on the nine year old girl that was her alter ego, became a scandalous mini on her curvaceous twenty something adult body. Hild's wardrobe, on the other hand, consisted of nothing but scandalous clothing, and her current state of dress was no exception. Her skirt was black. _Shiny _black. The garment seemed to devour sunlight, intimately stretched across her tan skin until falling upon her upper thigh where it turned into a garter and stockings of the same rubber-like anybody else, they would have been stripper clothes.

'_Or fiancee clothes,' _the martial artist amended mentally, before rationalizing her fashion. This was Hild and therefore quite acceptable in Ranma's eyes. Trailing behind, Mara was wearing tight red leather pencil skirt and similar bodice; her charms all but bouncing out of the red leather crop as her heels clicked in time with Hild's.

Then there was Ranma himself. Where he could have gone just as ostentatious as his guardian or her entourage, the last twenty four hours had left him mentally exhausted and playing the bombshell just wasn't in the cards. In the end, the marital artist kept it simple with a button up tee and a pair of pants. It was the least he could get away with after Hild's wardrobe intervention, which made him just a guy... A guy surrounded by three of the hottest women in Tokyo. While actively participating in causing three car pile ups would have certainly been fun, the looks of pure envy were one hell of an ego boost in and of themselves. Not that he needed any more guys looking to kill him or girls looking at him like he was a piece of meat, but without the obligations of honor attached, he had to admit it was a hoot.

Regardless of the fun, the conversation hadn't gone unnoticed and he had to clarify a single point.

"Hey, isn't Meiou-san also that chick-"

"Her reputation precedes her," The Daimakaicho overrode her son with a gentle, slightly mischievous smile that Miss Hinako failed to notice. Ranma took the hint and decided not to pursue Hild's association with Miss Hinako's mutual acquaintance. Instead, he made the requisite mental note to ask about it later and took a conversational backseat.

"I also suspect that the lack of conflict will be equally beneficial," The Furinkan educator postulated as she considered the method by which her former student was extricated from his former life. "Though I must admit to some concern over the means by which it was executed."

"A little magic trick, nothing more," Hild waived her concern away even as Ranma fought to keep the incredulity off his face. The woman had _rewritten reality_ to make this happen. 'A _little_ magic trick' was perhaps the understatement of the millenium and the pigtailed boy fought to keep his face neutral as his mother continued. "Certainly no worse than the various tricks initiated by the parties seeking to take advantage of my son."

Now _that_ was hardly an exaggeration in the martial artist's not so humble opinion.

To that the part-time adult educator could only produce a silent nod. Delinquency was rampant in the Saotome's life and most of it was actually not of his doing. Still, there was that single nagging question, and Ninomiya Hinako indulged in it. "...And to coincide with the loss of Miss Tendo, no less..."

"The loss of Miss Tendo?" Ranma's attention focused sharply, glancing from woman to woman. "Which Tendo? What happened?"

Miss Hinako eyed the ambivalent tanned woman for a reaction before continuing for Ranma. "I don't know the details, but it's sounding like Nabiki Tendo passed away of heart failure sometime during the storm last night."

"Ah, so, _so_ tragic," Hild's voice dripped with melodrama that was clearly evident to her subordinate and Ranma. Mara smirked to herself while the teen beside her eyed his mother warily as she continued. "To be cut down in the prime of her young, innocent life... _like chaff from the wheat_."

Ranma stared at the white haired woman with wide eyes, who turned a sweet smile down upon her son. "Don't worry. I'll be sure to support you through this oh-so-tragic loss, Ranma-chan."

"Eh, right," The former Saotome hesitated, nodding mechanically while all but certain that something very, _very_ bad had happened to the middle Tendo sister... beyond that of simply dying. She watched the woman that was now his mother sigh with regret.

"As will I," Miss Hinako agreed solemnly, completely missing the cues that Ranma and Mara had already picked up on. The educator rested a consoling hand on the teen's shoulder. "I'm sure we will all have time to reflect on her loss."

'_...For better or worse,'_ Ranma added blandy but produced a nod for the woman regardless. The moment Ninomiya's eyes left the martial artist, Ranma was staring at his tanned patron with an incredulous stare; one that clearly communicated his need for more information.

'_All in due time, son,'_

Ranma nearly stumbled as the sound of Hild's voice intruded on the wild speculation of his thought process. Surprise wedged itself between the curiosity of Nabiki's fate and the warmth realized through Hild's acknowledgement of their bond. He was barely able to conceal the shock over his adoptive mother's voice resounding in his head while a myriad of question bubbled up like a wellspring though his thoughts. Even as Ranma was picking over which to address first, Hild glanced over with a smile.

"_Only those thoughts you care to broadcast loud enough, dear,"_ She supplied warmly, her lips never moving. Still, Ranma's unspoken question now had an answer, as did another major point of curiosity_. "Of course you can. You are my child, after all. Go ahead and give it a try."_

Ranma tried to shut out the distractions around him and did exactly that.

"_Mrfff fflllfrr luuuff rrrf."_

The results were less than optimal, causing the martial artist's brow to crinkle with annoyance. Miss Hinako witnessed the odd expression and decided to address it aloud. "Are you okay, Ranma-kun?"

"Ah, yeah," the martial artist ad libbed all while the light jingle of Hild's amusement echoed in his brain. "Just, uh, kinda shocked about the whole thing with Nabiki and all."

"If you need anybody to talk to, I'm here of course," The brunette offered with a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, none the wiser.

"I as well," The white haired grand demoness added amicably.

"_A fine first attempt for one not innately gifted in telepathy,"_ Hild complimented even as she emoted outward sympathy herself. The lesson continued within Ranma's mind, who in turn readily consumed it. "_Think _at _me. Picture me or look at me before composing your thoughts."_

"_Mrglgrlgrlgrlgrlgrlgrldammit…!"_ The martial artist thought at her in frustration, somehow knowing that what he was saying and what she was receiving were two entirely different things.

"_Mental sideband,"_ The Daimakaicho supplied, picking up on the note of curiosity through the annoyance. "_Still, I would be remiss in not mentioning that this would be much easier if you were to ascend."_

"_Mrf."_

"_I thought not,"_ Ranma could feel his mother's mental confirmation and all but see the nod in his mind's eye as she continued. "_That being the case, master this technique and I shall indulge your many questions concerning our dearly departed Nabiki Tendo."_

Ranma Testarossa could barely suppress his eagerness with the overt challenge.

* * *

**F**ifteen kilometers away, the famous- or infamous, depending on one's perspective –Cat Café was busy. The lunch rush was upon the proprietor and her two charges, taking and dispensing orders with a flare the establishment was well known for. Watching dishes fly and martial arts performance easily justified the slightly elevated price its patrons paid, which more than justified Cologne's ability to continue operations in the heart of the Nermian suburb. Since actual profit wasn't out of the realm of possibility, the Amazonian elder had taken to hire part time help, which in turn freed the others to run deliveries.

"Five orders, all within the business district," Cologne confirmed the separate receipts, sliding them across the counter to her great granddaughter. "Number three special, Pork buns, Five Season Delight, Kung Pao pork and…" The old woman stared as she watched her great granddaughter assembled the orders into the carry box for her bicycle. "…Why do you have six orders?"

"One is for Airen, of course!" Shampoo replied enthusiastically. She elaborated on seeing the confused look upon her Great Grandmother's face. "Too bad thing happen to mercenary girl. Shampoo take food to celebrate!"

The mercenary girl she knew, but something wasn't quite right. The Green robed Amazon elder pressed for an answer to the unspoken question. "Husband?"

"Of course, who else?" The lavender haired girl responded offhandedly as she put the final touches on securing the delivery box. It took another thirty seconds of staring to get her great granddaughter's undivided attention. "Shampoo do something wrong, great grandmother?"

"Deciding to elope, for one," Cologne started, cocking her head with curious suspicion. "Not telling me with whom, for another."

Completely at a conversational loss now, the young girl forced a smile. "Is kidding, yes?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding, granddaughter?" The old woman frowned, likewise trying to reconcile the missing piece of the puzzle.

To be fair, her great grandmother _never_ looked like she was kidding, but even she could tell there was something intrinsically wrong with their communication. Shampoo did the only thing she could and elaborated. "Is Ranma, of course. Great grandmother know well?"

"A Japanese male?" Cologne frowned deeply, now looking even more unamused than before. "Do not tell me you are wasting your time with one of these Japanese weaklings. I would even give Mousse my blessing if that is to be the case."

"Aiyah! Is not so!" Shampoo reeled with the threat while warning sirens finally sounded within her thought process. She glanced quickly around the restaurant as if trying to locate something or someone. "Is something wrong if not know Airen!"

Cologne restrained herself with the girl's sudden panic, also sensing something was amiss; if not for the same reason. "Then why don't you tell me about this 'Ranma'?"

"Ranma Saotome," Shampoo elaborated quickly and launched into a shortened version of their mutual history. "Is too-too skilled martial artist. Broke Amazon law by eating challenge feast! Was girl at time so Shampoo give Kiss of Death?"

Cologne's eyes narrowed as she remembered the feast in question. "You _won_ that feast."

If there were sirens in Shampoo's brain before, they were full-on air raid alarms now, and she eyed her great grandmother carefully. "You… no remember feast correctly?"

"Of course I do," The Elder shook her head, deciding to resolve this mental lapse one way or the other. She turned from the counter and directed an order back to the kitchen door. "Mister part-time, front and center!"

Several pans rattled within the kitchen but Mousse appeared seconds later, adjusting his coke bottle glasses with a sigh. "What now?"

"Shampoo's tribal challenge back in China," Cologne asked, temporarily ignoring the male's impudence. "Who won?"

Mousse blinked at the old woman, wary over such an obvious question. "Shampoo did, of course."

"Is not so!" Shampoo blurted, shaking her head with growing trepidation and utter confusion. "Is not right with both of you!"

Mousse stared curiously at the purple pastel clad girl through his thick glasses. Nor was he alone. Cologne didn't like where their conversation was going and where it pointed to. She had been around long enough to know a memory technique when she saw it and right now Shampoo's situation screamed memory alteration. Still, most were quite easily defeated and the elder was quite certain she could defeat this one as well. They always came down to details and once those unraveled, so did the technique. The old woman began with that premise in mind, focusing on the most obvious discrepancy.

"You gave her the Kiss of Death, yet we speak of a male," Cologne began carefully, wondering just as to the width and breadth of the memory alteration. "Please explain in the native tongue."

"Ranma is Nyannichuan cursed, great grandmother," Shampoo switched to Mandarin, explaining with equal care while her thoughts all but mirrored her great grandmother. She had firsthand experience with those same memory techniques, but for her the questions became who and why? Regardless, she continued the recollection with the same goals as her elder: To break the technique through a deluge of detail.

"He- she at the time –had set upon the challenge banquet unknowingly and I took offense," Shampoo continued the tale. "I took her too lightly and after the days' many matches, found myself easily defeated."

"And thus you gave her the Kiss of Death," Cologne concluded, to which the girl nodded.

"You later took me aside and told me that my actions were foolhardy and frivolous, but that I was bound by them nonetheless," The lavender haired teen explained with a measure of regret. "So I pursued her across China and into Japan, later finding that the person I had deemed a mortal enemy was actually a male skilled in the Art."

Cologne continued to watch, carefully measuring the girl's behavior while waiting for the proper fulcrum to present itself. "You would be obligated to him if this were truly the case."

"It was so," Shampoo continued, sighing. "The attempts on his girl-type's life had made Ranma wary of me and he was yet promised to another... Several others as I would come to find out. My limited grasp of Japanese also worked against my efforts and I was forced to return to China with neither goal accomplished."

"That bastard!" Mousse blurted and found the matriarch's cane applied to his cranium with a solid 'thunk'.

"Silence, male," Cologne ignored the boy massaging the painful knot out of his head and got right to the point, already knowing what such a theoretical failure would entail for her great granddaughter. "And your punishment?"

"Remediation, grandmother," Shampoo answered unhappily. "You challenged my skills over Jusenkyo itself and I was found wanting. I fell into the Spring of Drowned Cat."

"Indeed," Cologne arched a withered eyebrow, weighing the statement itself. After silently studying the Amazonian teen for another moment, the elder turned to Mousse. "Fetch us a glass of cold water."

Shampoo watched as the white robed teenage boy made his way to the nearest facet while the Joketsuzoku elder made her case with blunt force honesty. "You are a bright girl, so I will be succinct: You are under the influence of a memory erasure technique. We will determine who and why later, but our first priority is to return your perspective to that of reality."

"Great grandmother, you must believe me!" Shampoo pleaded as Mousse returned with one of the restaurant glasses. "It is you who have been affected by—"

Cologne swung the tip of the staff up, tapping the glass with just enough force so that it was jarred from the boy's grasp and upturned into the air. There could only be one target and cold water splashed across Shampoo's person even as the glass itself landed upright on the countertop without breaking. It twirled along its base and customers clapped at the old woman's antics, but it was Shampoo who stood by shell shocked.

"Who has been affected now, great granddaughter of mine?" Cologne posed the question to the dripping girl. The teenage Amazon stared at her hands as if they were alien to her body.

"I'm... _cured?"_

"You were never cursed," The Joketsuzoku matriarch corrected. "The reality is this: You won the tournament you supposedly lost and ate your prize that night with many of your sisters. There was no vagabond martial artist, no kiss of death, no ill-fated romance."

"Then why are we here?! In Japan?! There is no other reason but for my husband!" Shampoo was all but hysterical now, torn between the elation of being cured and the possibility that there was something distinctly not right with the world.

"Your win at the tournament secured a number of opportunities for you," Cologne released a patient sigh, humoring the teenager. "One of which was a training sojourn to expose the Amazons to the customs of the outside world."

"I... That's... not right..." The lavender haired Amazon all but fell into the nearest seat, dazed by her grandmother's recount of the here and now.

"The empirical evidence lies in the absence of a curse, supported by our very testimony," That elder shook her head sympathetically. "Rest, granddaughter. Take some time to reflect on my words. We will talk more when you are less addled."

The wide eyes persisted even as Shampoo stood, still unable to comprehend what had just happened. Last night all had been right with the world. Today she was being told everything she knew was wrong. Worse yet, even the complete lack of a curse seemed to support that point of view...

...But she _remembered_. In detail. It was directly counter to everything she knew of memory alteration, having been a student in the techniques herself. The very first thing they were taught was to keep it simple since a complex alteration had a higher chance of being seen through. Shampoo thought back to her early encounter with Akane as a prime example of such execution. That had been a simple alteration and would have withstood breakage if not for the strong affect her husband's insults had on the Tendo.

"No." Shampoo's resolve firmed as her own memories withstood the test of logic and detail. Cologne frowned even as Shampoo turned away, rounding the counter to make her way to the exit."I am right and there is something very, very wrong here."

"Shampoo-"

"I will return with proof, Great Grandmother." The teen announced and was gone through the exit. Cologne shook her head with regret and turned back to Mousse.

"Follow her," She ordered sternly. "She is not in her right mind and the perpetrator will undoubtedly still have interest in her."

For once, Mousse completely agreed with the full time thorn in his side and set out after his unrequited love.

The moment Shampoo had exited the establishment she was yanking her delivery bike from its position leaning against the storefront, destination firmly in mind. Something had altered the memories of her great grandmother and there was only one place she would achieve final closure as to who was actually the afflicted: The Tendo Dojo. The Amazon ignored Mousse's cries to wait up and pedaled hard out into traffic, dodging cars and trucks with prenatural agility before hopping a curb, using the bump to achieve the height necessary to mount a nearby fence.

Without traffic, the girl quickly picked up speed, silk and lavender hair buffeting with the wind as her velocity increased. Her thoughts turned to more strategic matters as she negotiated the fence top route; matters beyond her personal plight.

Who would do this and what was their motive?

The 'who' had to be quite formidable if they could successfully alter the memory of an Amazon Elder. She had never seen great grandmother bested in any challenge which meant her shadowy opposition had to be exceptionally good and _that _she had to step carefully in her pursuit. 'Why', on the other hand, was quite obvious to Shampoo. Her husband was a desirable commodity, plainly put. She had been willing to resort to mental manipulation more than once, so why not another fiancee in waiting? It made sense, but there was still one other glaring discrepancy...

_'...Why not me?'_ The teenage girl wondered as she kicked the bike just enough to clear another fence segment before departing it entirely for the sidewalk. Three pedestrians scattered, but Shampoo was through them before they could finish their terrified yelps. Her mystery opponent had already established the high end of his or her skill by subverting her own great grandmother. They had also determined what they considered loose ends by including Mousse, so why not include the primary competition- Herself?

Shampoo continued to chew on the various theories as she banked into a hard turn to around a street corner. A car honked at her trespass but she left it behind at high speed. There was also the question as to what she would find once she arrived. Her husband completely deprived of his memories? A new fiancee inserting herself into her rightful position? Maybe even-

The Amazon warrior's chocolate brown eyes picked out a pedestrian through the alley on an adjacent street. Shampoo suddenly re-prioritized her transit. The lavender haired girl kicked the back wheel out, executed a hard skid and went sideways into the alley wall where she peddled into the horizontal plane along the wall briefly before returning to the ground. She cleared the alleyway and locked up the brakes, skidding to a stop.

Silver steel was already swinging to behead her.

The Amazon teen abandoned the bike outright and watched it get cut in half by an oversized spatula as she flipped over the attempt on her life, landing just out of range of the okonomiyaki master. Ukyo Kuonji reset her guard, twirling the combat spatula as she tracked the girl with a menacing glare.

"Not in the mood right now, Sugar,"

Shampoo merely acknowledged her warning with a nod. "Is okay ask question?"

"You just did." Ukyo replied irritably, but waited, her weapon lowering slightly.

The lavender haired martial artist took the comment and lack of hostilities as license to continue. "What Shampoo change when cold water splash?"

This time a look other than irritation found its way to the chef's face. She arched a skeptical eyebrow and answered the overly obvious question. "A purple kitten?"

"Aiyah!" Shampoo exclaimed, bouncing into Ukyo's personal space to hug her violently. "Pizza girl do remember! Shampoo not crazy!"

"Off! Get off or I'll beat you down on principle!" Ukyo attempted to pry the enthusiastic girl from her, finally succeeding thirty seconds later. "Why are so excited about... _Oh_. That."

"Is nobody remembers, Airen!" Shampoo blurted, eager to tell her story to somebody who at least had a correct recollection of current events while missing the chef's turn of depression. "Great grandmother and Mousse have memory erased! No remember Ranma!"

"And they're not likely to anytime soon," Ukyo mumbled, instantly gaining the Chinese girl's undivided attention.

"Not likely what?" Shampoo blinked, cocking her head as her words demanded answers. "Spatula girl know something?"

"It'd be just deserts if I just left you to find out yourself," Ukyo shook her head, finally sheathing the spatula. She shrugged lifeless and decided. "What the hell. Misery loves company, right?"

"Misery?"

"The white haired chick, remember her?" The Okonomiyaki mistress began and Shampoo lept to the most obvious conclusion available.

"Is her fault!" The Amazon all but screamed. A jian blurred into existence as the target of her frustration was realized. "I kill!"

"Not quite, kitten," Ukyo shook her head, attempting to explain in a lifeless tone. "It was her mother. Or sister. Or something. They look nearly identical. But Ranma..." She couldn't bring herself to actually say the next part for several moments, then continued after a deep breath. "...It was Ranma that pulled the trigger."

"Pull... trigger...?" Shampoo tried to conceptualize her words without much success.

"He wanted out," Ukyo could all but feel the tears threatening to break once more. "He was done with the whole fiancee thing... With us. The chick's mother made it happen."

"Not believe you," Shampoo eyed the Japanese teen skeptically. "No reason to leave, have beautiful Amazon wife."

"Ha!" The okonomiyaki heiress laughed bitterly. "And here I was the cute fiancee, go figure."

The Amazon teen could all but hear the heartbreak in her tone, forcing Shampoo to at least hear her rival out. "So what mother do?"

"Beats the hell out of me, Sugar. She's an evil sorceress or something and..."" Ukyo admitted readily, then seemed to catch herself mid sentence with a put-out look.

"...And God, i'm starting to sound like Kuno," She berated herself, rubbing her forehead. After a moment, Ukyo managed to reboard her train of thought. "Anyway, she's more dangerous than your grandmother if that serves as any sort of measuring stick. She did some voodoo, cast a spell or did _something_... But after she was done, _nobody_ remembered Ranma Saotome. Not the class, not the teachers. Miss Hinako did, but nobody else."

"Is like great grandmother and Mousse," Shampoo admitted with growing concern over the talk of scary powerful witches with the ability to influence memory on a massive scale. She clutched the handle of her sword, determined to see her mission through, however. "This one is going to Tendo. Come along, yes?"

"Count me out of this one," Ukyo her head solemnly.

"Is coward."

"Call me what you want, but I looked into that witch's eyes," Ukyo Kuonji simply turned away and began to walk. She paused and glanced back with depressed resignation in her eyes. "Besides, I think Ranma might be right."

Shampoo merely waited, and the teen turned back to the sidewalk, finishing the thought as she did. "I think we all need a break... From this."

And Ukyo simply walked away.

* * *

**B**e it ever so humble, there's no place like hell.

At least that's what those that worked there thought. The realm had its good points and its bad points, and as long as you didn't piss the Daimakaicho off, you more than likely wouldn't be paying a visit to those bad points. For the rest of hell's population- that is to say the legions of the damned sentenced to an eternal stay -hell was one bad point after another.

A good portion of those souls were simply the unpleasant sort, like rapists and murders. Some had unwittingly slipped into a life of unrequited damnation. Salvation was refuse as a matter of principle and there was always occupancy available. Others were luckier. Their stay in hell was transient in nature until they balanced their karma by participating in less tortuous tasks...

...Such as tugging on a multi megaton iron gate under the infernal gaze of an all seeing eye.

There were a special few that were universal pitied, however. They weren't simply damned... They were on Hild's shit list. She didn't have the time or patience to manage the eternal suffering of every pissant serial killer and megalomaniac that found his or her way to hell, but for some people, she _made_ the time. Nabiki Tendo was one such soul. The second daughter of Rumi and Soun Tendo hadn't been an especially _bad_ person, certainly not when compared to the rest of hell's denizens, but she had entered into a personal contract with the grand demoness; a grand demoness with an axe to grind against the Tendo family as a whole.

It went a long ways toward explaining why the middle Tendo sister was plying a heavy steel shovel to a 150 kilo pile of smoldering, gaseous dragon manure. She was caked in grime. Bone tired. Anorexic. Yet she somehow summoned the strength to plunge the rusted shovel onto the pile of stench and extract a sizable mass of the excrement to be dumped into a battered wheelbarrow along side it. The devilish winds around her shifted and the fumes coiled around her, causing Nabiki to nearly lose consciousness as the stench invaded her olfactories. She suppressed the urge to gag. In fact, she didn't' have _time_ to gag. Nabiki Tendo was on the clock and if this pile wasn't disposed of by the time-

The orangish glow of hell disappeared suddenly, replaced by a cooling shadow. The former Ice Queen froze, slowly turning around to her fate. Red scales and two malicious yellow eyes stared into the remains of her soul and the shovel fell out of her suddenly trembling hand. The air vibrated around her as the twelve story tall red dragon craned its neck down to her level, nearly giving her second degree burns simply by breathing on her. Nabiki whimpered and fell to her knees on the stone dungeon floor. The dragon spoke.

"Why is this not cleaned up?"

The logical answer was that the dragons who had produced the waste in question had feasted on particularly stringy souls over the last week and had thus produced more excrement than usual. Nabiki Tendo and one or two select others had been hard pressed to keep up with their output and by extension had fallen behind on their waste management duties. Nabiki had long since learned that such well composed explanations were largely unappreciated however, and instead appealed to the dragon's moral sensibilities.

"Please don't eat me again!" The girl squeaked, clutching herself in a terrified shiver.

"I think I shall," The dragon rumbled, and calmly dipped down to snatch the girl up with its jaws.

"_EEEEEeeeeEEEEEKKK-!" _They snapped shut and with it, Nabiki Tendo's primal scream of terror ceased.

Ranma winced from a balcony hanging far above the pit, her cheek twitching every time the dragon crunched on something sounding suspiciously bone like. Wide eyes stared, her mouth hanging open as far too many thoughts sought to make their way to her lips. She turned that stare on to her own benefactor, who was likewise watching the scene play out next to her with a satisfied air. The redhead turned back back down to the dragon as some of the words managed to finally clear a way to her vocal cords.

"She just got... What the... That's pretty damn..." Hild merely watched the girl struggle for a coherent thought with a tilted head until one finally found dominance amongst the others. "Wait... '_Again'?_"

"It wouldn't be much of a punishment if she were simply eaten once, Dear," The supreme ruler of hell gestured to the dragon below, explaining. "Now she will be digested over several weeks within the dragon's molten stomach. There, she will burn in agony until she is expelled like the waste she is to begin the cycle anew. Time dilation is quite a wonderful tool."

"That's... that..." The martial artist shook her head, her eyes locked onto the dragon as it stretched for a nap. She turned back to Hild. "Isn't that... Kinda... I mean it's that a bit much?"

Her adoptive mother looked upon her with curiosity as her daughter continued to sort her thoughts out aloud. "And I'll be the first to agree she was pain in the ass and all, but... That ain't exactly justice..."

"Justice, child?" Hild mused with a kindly smile. Her lavender eyes glowed with malice however, as she took her daughter's hand gently. "Justice is a flawed ideology arbitrarily assigned to sate the bloodlust of society. Who deems what retribution is fit and what is not? _I do._ The girl down there has struck against my blood and this is my retribution, Ranma-chan. _My justice_."

Once more Ranma's mouth opened, but words failed. _Completely. _

The white haired demoness took the opportunity to drive her point home, pulling the still pliable girl into a protective embrace. "My family is very important to me. Just as Urd is my daughter so are you... And there is no obstacle that will keep me from those seeking to inflict suffering upon my own."

Ranma simply allowed herself to be held. That alone was something she had never experienced and it was... Emotion warred within, preventing her from fully resolving the sensation. On one hand the woman holding her hand- her very mother by universal decree -had taken it upon herself to protect her after a fashion. It was no small thing in Ranma's eyes, nor was the feeling of belonging that flowed through her mother's embrace. On the other hand, her version of justice was _overkill_... Overkill on a _massive_ scale. Overkill she just couldn't overlook.

The redhead took another selfish minute to enjoy the embrace before slowly withdrawing from it, looking up at the taller woman. "But I can't... What you're doing to her is... It's just..."

"More than once she tried to sell you... Like a common _whore_," Hild tipped the redhead's chin up toward her eyes to ensure she had full understanding. "She _deserves_ this."

"It's just... It's just too..."

Hild watched the girl as she struggled with her words, recognizing the obvious pains she was taking not to offend her. The woman sighed, stroking her daughter's head. "Never let it be said that this mother does not dote on her children. Wait here, dear."

Ranma watched as the tanned ruler of hell simply step off the ledge and begin to float down as if she were merely a leaf on the thermal currents buffeting the sheer white wrap she wore. She touched down gently before the yawning dragon thirty seconds later who immediately perked up at her presence. The giant red beast stood up, bowing head and wings differentially.

"What service may this one perform for you, Daimakaicho?" The creature rumbled, awaiting her decree submissively.

"You already have," Hild assured him, then made her orders known. "Expel the Tendo,"

The dragon's massive cranium tilted with curiosity, but it ultimately shrugged its wings in compliance. The reptile heaved and choked, its hacking reverberating off the cavernous walls as the Daimakaicho stood by, merely content to watch as a slight bulge reversed its way up the beast's gullet. Its gigantic maw opened and the dragon gave one last heave, violently depositing a steaming, sulfurous blob of phlegm directly onto the stone floor.

The Queen of the Damned nodded her satisfaction, dismissing the dragon as she turned to the sickly orange-green slime. "You may go now, Koratha-kun. I have business with this one."

The dragon respectfully dipped its head once more before leaping skyway, dust to peel away from its launch site. None of it touched the white haired woman, who merely watched as something struggled within the regurgitated mass. After several more moments, a female hand thrust its way out, clutching at the open air. The squirming intensified as the body dug its way out of the steaming phlegm, gasping for air as its head finally cleared the goo. Nabiki's nude body flopped clear of the scalding slime and onto the bare stone, pink in some spots while obviously burned in others like a badly cooked steak. The former Tendo continued to hyperventilate from her fetal position for several long minutes until a new voice intruded on her world of pain and suffering.

"I assume you are quite done with the theatrics?"

That voice alone stilled the girl instantly. It was one ingrained in her darkest nightmares. One she would never, _ever_ forget. Her frozen state lasted barely seconds, only to be replaced by full on trembling as she uncurled just enough to confirm the presence standing above her.

"Pleasedeargod..." Nabiki whimpered, only to watch the Daimakaicho's smile widen.

"Oh, he'll be of no help to you here, Nabiki-chan," Hild's eyes glittered with malevolence, but instead of inflicting further suffering upon the girl, she merely held out a tanned hand. "You instead owe your salvation to my daughter."

Nabiki stared at the hand as if it were a snake. _Or worse_. After a full thirty seconds of staring, the whited haired woman grew bored. "I would advise taking my hand... Or you may return to your former duties."

The middle sister hesitated, as if weighing the evils of cleaning after and being eaten by a dragon to those represented in the smiling woman standing over her. The former Tendo whimpered a little more, shuffling away from the hand. Hild merely sighed, becoming thoroughly irritated over the girl's abject terror.

"Meet my expectations and no harm shall befall you," The grand demoness offered matter-of-factly.

Nabiki continued to stare at the jeweled hand as indecision waged a war in her mind, indecision that last only as long as it took for the woman to turn to walk away. Nabiki Tendo snapped out for her hand desperately. Hild's evil smile renewed with the frantic contact and dark streamers of black energy coiled from her palm to flow over the teen's arm and around her body.

The mercenary cried in terror and tried to recoil from the tendrils of magic, but found the hand interlocked with her own unyielding. The black coils tightened around her body, nearly asphyxiating Nabiki as they healed her burns and cleansed her body before settling lightly around her to form clothing. A black, skintight cheongsam wove its way around her, leaving a long slit up her left leg while black six inch stilettos were grafted to her feet. Black lace stockings rose to her upper thighs and a steel cuff flashed into being around the girl's neck before the black magic wound back up around her head, depositing two diminutive bat wings into her refreshed hair before dissipating entirely. A two meter chain hung from the cuff and Hild gave it a slight tug to pull the girl out of her petrified state.

"Such irony," Hild appraised her handy work with amusement and resumed their dialogue as Nabiki scrambled to her feet, gaping at the changes. The Daimakaicho led the way as the chain bound girl trailed behind her. "My expectations are quite simple: You will serve my daughter in any capacity she sees fit. If she wants you to run errands, you are to run errands. If she wishes you to entertain her, you are to entertain her. If she wishes to use you as her sexual play thing, you will quite happily attend to her with every fiber of your being. Are we clear Miss Tendo?"

"Yes, Daimakaicho," Nabiki answered lowly, hoping she wasn't merely trading a bad deal for a worse one. Gravity suddenly lost its hold and both women drifted upward.

"If your service to my daughter does not meet my expectations, you shall find yourself... _demoted_," The white haired woman glanced back with an evil smile. The former Ice Queen gulped and Hild merely smiled. "I see we have an understanding."

Nabiki nodded furiously. The grand demoness merely turned back to their upward transit and Nabiki could now see the cliffside they were approaching now. Of all the things she didn't expect in hell, it was some girl wearing a white button down t-shirt and blue jeans. She focused on the wide eyed girl, knowing that there was a connection she wasn't making. They settled on to the ledge and Nabiki studied her new master- '_owner_,' she mentally corrected herself -carefully. Recognition was firing through her brain now. It was definitely somebody she knew... but she had been down in the pit for _so long_. Cleaning and being devoured. Being devoured and cleaning. _Years_ of circular torture without ceasure...

"Nabiki...Are you...?"

That question, or rather the voice, broke the dam. Nabiki Tendo sucked in a breath as recognition hit her full force. The corresponding name finally found its way to her lips. "Ra... _Ranma?!_"

"Kneel." Hild ordered sternly, squashing the slightest glimmer of hope that had sprouted while reminding the girl of her place instantly. Nabiki fell to one knee but was unable to tear her gaze away from the pensive red headed martial artist. The teen watched as the mistress of hell walked around her person and handed Ranma the other end of the chain. "Serve my daughter as you would serve me. _Fear_ my daughter as you would fear me. Treat her words as if they were from my very lips."

"Y.. Yes, Daimakaicho!" Nabiki stuttered, barely covering her lapse in respect through the shock. Hild dismissed her presence, turning a more kindly countenance upon her child.

"You will undoubtedly feel the urge to treat your new pet gently," The tanned woman took Ranma's hand in hers while lecturing her instructionally. "Such familiarity breeds contempt. Remember that you are her master at all times and do not fail to discipline her as necessary. If you should lapse in your duties to do so, they will fall to me... And my discipline can be _quite_ unpleasant."

This time both teens gulped, but Ranma found her head nodding mechanically, already and knowing just how unpleasant her mother could be when she put her mind to it. Only two words came to mind in light of that realization.

"Yes mom."

'_I have imbued her with enough power to make her useful until you see fit to ascend yourself,' _Hild's voice echoed in her mind as she stepped alongside Ranma, stroking her child's head. '_Likewise, I have instilled with her numerous incentives to see to your well being. Between these and her lessons below, you should find her quite pliable.'_

'_Yes mom,' _The redhead reiterated mentally, but was unable to keep the gnawing guilt from her mental tone. Hild merely gave her a kiss on the head.

'_Be at ease, my child,'_ The queen of the damned returned, her voice flowing through Ranma's thoughts like a soothing wind. '_In time you will learn your place. I am your mother and you are my daughter and all are beneath us. Your new minion will come to enjoy her role and you will see she is much better off for it.'_

Ranma produced a half hearted nod and her guardian gave her a final reassuring squeeze before stepping away, speaking aloud this time. "I suspect you will need time to reflect on this development. Your apartment?"

"Ah, yeah," Ranma agreed faintly, staring at the cheongsam clad tendo while tracing the chain from the girl's neck to her very hand. It was all the redhead could do to maintain her hold on the leash as Hild spoke once more.

"Very well then," She nodded, snapping her fingers.

Ranma Testarossa and Nabiki, formerly Tendo, disappeared in a gout of three meter fire.

* * *

"**S**tatus report," Urd, Norn Goddess of the Past Class Two, Category One ordered as she we strode onto the command deck of the Asgard mainframe, studying the focused flurry of activity born from the various other deities tasked with managing the Yggdrasil's well being. Melodic stringed tones echoed through the white chamber as the gods and goddesses pulled the relevant data from eternities supercomputer by plucking on the golden harp strings.

Their tones coalesced into a melodic symphony while secondary visual holographic displays provided further information. A cyan haired goddess caressed the strings at her station once more, eliciting several more notes before turning back to the tanned goddess. "Firewalls answering full lockdown, Ma'am."

"Anti-virus down and running," Another reported as she keyed her own data into holographic structure that teamed with activity. "No contacts to report."

"Diagnostics clean, Ma'am," A god advised from across the room as he analyzed the musical resonance that the Yggdrasil was reporting back to him. He turned back to Urd as she made the rounds. "No unusual activity for the last two weeks."

"Except for the complete rewrite and permissions change of a mortal file less than forty eight hours ago," Urd replied as she leaned over and keyed in the god's data for him. "Look further back. Bounce it off the hard copies if necessary."

"What exactly are we looking for, Ma'am?" A goddess with a pixie haircut and pink hair asked, raising her hand as if in grade school.

"Lexia, right?" The Goddess of the Past walked over to her and scrutinized her display before answering. the young goddess nodded in response to her name and the Norn continued. "Anything that would enable the Nidhogg to push through a request to alter a mortal file."

"That's impossible!" The god she had just left blurted, staring at Urd as if she had grown a second head. "The dual lock out would have prevented-"

"-Such a thing from happening in the first place," The white haired goddess finished for him, agreeing in full. She turned to the open air and addressed the supercomputer directly. "Yggdrasil, display last Nidhogg access."

The air shimmered just above their mutual heads and the main chandelier of golden wind chimes shimmered, displaying the requested information as light blue symbology.

「Last Nidhogg access request: 2236 minutes ago.  
Request type: File modification, Genealogy.  
Originator: Nidhogg Terminal 0001.  
File: Saotome, Ranma.  
Notes: Surface level rewrite of local events required.  
Dual Lockout polling required.  
Decision: Nidhogg [1] : Yggdrasil [0]  
Verdict: Request Declined.  
Override received.  
Outcome: Request executed 」

"And that is what we are facing," Urd announced after giving the room time to parse the data for themselves. Her serious gaze swept across every deity in the command center. "If they can do it once, they can do it again, so lets get moving on this one. They've got a thirty six hour head start on us."

It only took a moment for the information to sink in and when it finally did, the room exploded with activity and music as each operator deviled into their own resources to work at the threat that the Goddess of the Past had uncovered. Urd found an empty station and began to strum the harp interface herself in order to pull up further information on the event. First there were the logs of Ranma Saotome.

'_What did I miss?'_ She question herself silently as she went through the major events of the cursed boy's life, all of which abruptly ceased thirty six hours ago with the Daimakaicho's interference. It didn't take much to see that they both had things in common. They were cocky. Arrogant. Narcissistic. The problem with that was her mother wasn't big on charity and that there were cocky, arrogant and narcissistic people everywhere. Why was Saotome so special?

'_Must have sent her a mother's day card or something,'_ Urd rolled her eyes with the sarcastic thought and continued to scroll through the file as her thoughts turned to different tactics. '_Could be the kid himself is actually the penetration aid into the Yggdrasil?'_

She clicked her fuchsia nails on the desk station she was sitting at, contemplating the possibility, then decided. '_Alright, a core dump it is then.'_ Urd gave the harp several notes and the overhead chimes sung back. The holodisplay occupying the open air to her right began to flow with dense symbology that she began to pick apart. The curse was certainly a corruption in Ranma's mortal basecode and even that reeked of Hild. The goddess highlighted the relevant section and began to run a search. Another screen materialized off to her right seconds later.

「Jusenkyo; Cursed Springs.  
Classification: Transfiguration.  
Threat Level: Six.  
Specifics: Death magic reservoir.  
Source: Jusendo ley line. 」

'_Now we're talking,' _Urd nodded to herself, sensing a lead. She pulled up a holographic keyboard this time and began typing furiously, digging deeper into its creation logs.

「Administrator: Sing Ho Fong [INACTIVE]  
Affiliation: Monk, Chaos.  
01132905BC - 05202761BC [truncated]  
Status: Deceased 」

The Goddess of the Past's study narrowed as she eyed the Monk's affiliation and the terminal header associated with it. Her typing began anew and this time, the results came as no surprise.

'_Gotcha,'_ she crowed mentally, reading through the output.

「File: Sing Ho Fong [deceased]  
01132905BC - 05202761BC [truncated]  
Custody: Niflheim, Hel  
Last Known: VP of Curses and Hexology Division  
Oversight: Daimakaicho, Hild. 」

Jusenkyo was no random occurrence. It's creator not simply some chaos sympathising monk. It had been created by a minion of Hild... Who was now vice president of her Curses and Hexology division. The implications were dire. '_Just far back did that witch plan this crazy-?'_

"Miss Urd?" Lexia's hand popped up once more and the white haired goddess sighed to herself as her train of thought was broken by the interruption. The goddess managed eye contact without looking overly put out and the junior analyst continued. "I think I may have found something."

"Something?"

"I think you had best see for yourself, miss Urd," The pink haired goddess looked slightly uncertain. Urd grumbled to herself and sauntered over to her station, eyeing the logs she had pulled up. Lexia picked one specifically. "I've been tracing the path of the interrupt that caused the override and-"

"And you found Hild's fingerprints all over it," The Norn finished blandly, only to watch the younger goddess shake her head

"But the origin is internal!" The girl insisted, causing Urd to blink with surprise at her statement. Lexia rushed to shore up her case, pointing at various coding blocks. "Here, here and here! Asgard codes and authentication up and down the pipe!"

Urd simply stared. _She was right._ It was all legit. New conspiracies began to congeal within her head. '_An inside job?'_

"I ran the codes as far as I could with my access, but..." The pixie haired goddess shook her head, clearly at a loss.

"I've got this," Urd frowned and began to manipulate the access string with her own access privileges. The fact that the codes were completely above board was worrying in and of itself. It turned their situation from one of external forced entry to one where the door was opened for them... _from the inside._ Even as she pulled on the access path, her brow crinkled. "Just how high up does this crap go?"

The access list narrowed as she continued her own high level incursion into the Yggdrasil encrypted database, already combing through class one, category one deities. She knew she was raising red flags just by being there and running the trace, but if she could make the source of the...

Urd, Category Two, Class One stopped her typing cold as a the latest authentication protocol was unencrypted. Her eyes widened and she slowly removed her hands from the keyboard as if they were directly wired to a bomb or software virus. Next to her, Lexia's eyes had also widened. "It's that...?!"

A phone rang. The old fashioned bell was a sharp contrast to the melodic information gathering that permeated the atmosphere of the Yggdrasil command deck and all eyes turned to an antique brass phone sitting politely at the center of the room, perched atop a marble pillar that looked almost roman in origin. All activity stopped as it rang again. This time the IT staff stared at the room's senior officer.

Urd swallowed the nervous lump in her throat down and walked over to the phone. It rang a third time before she mustered the nerve to ply her tanned fingers to the receiver, pulling it off the brass rocker with a light click. The goddess put it to her ear with a weak smile.

"Yes, Father?"

* * *

**S**he had cried for an hour straight.

Ranma Testarossa, daughter of Hild and heir apparent to Hell itself watched helplessly as the the former Ice Queen of Furinkan High sobbed, curled up in a fetal ball on the living room's massive chocolate brown suede sofa. The redhead was at a loss of what to do with the woman. The pleas to stop crying had done nothing to placate the girl and after fifteen minutes of that, Ranma could only watch. At half an hour, her nervous pacing had stopped completely and she sat beside the former Tendo, hoping to calm her.

No such luck.

In the end, An exasperated Ranma simply reached for the TV remote control and decided to wait it out next to her by watching something. '_Martial arts flick,'_ the teen frowned as the picture clicked to life, forcing the arduous task of learning how the remote control and its myriad of buttons actually worked just to change the channel upon her. Two minutes and some experimentation later, Ranma finally fondled the remote with enough competence to extricate herself from the settings menu and various blank input screens to switch channels. The martials arts show and its bad choreography was banished, replaced by something with cars. Another click found an American serial Western. The redhead watched the bad acting and gunplay for all of about two minutes before thumbing the remote once more.

'_Iron chef?'_ Ranma cocked her head and set the remote aside, watching as Chairman Kaga began to unveil the secret ingredient for the show. The large silver platter came off, revealing...

"...Snails?"

Ranma blinked at the voiced observation, finding the puffy eyed girl next to him partial uncurled from her fetal position and watching the show. The martial artists studied her with a bit of surprise but smiled slightly, returning her attention to the show. The snails on screen were actively trying to escape from the platter, but their highest attainable top speed made the feat impossible as the various chefs gathered around to make short work of them.

"Guess you could make some decent Escargot out of 'em," Ranma commented as the chairman enthusiastically began the match. Activity exploded on screen as the chefs rushed to their stations with the intent on outdoing their opponent via extravagant culinary means. "Get some garlic butter, maybe wine..."

Ranma's voiced trailed off as she found Nabiki staring at her intently. The black haired girl averted her eyes suddenly, speaking in a shaky tone. "I wouldn't have figured you being the french cuisine connoisseur, Saoto- I mean, Master?"

The quick correction to 'Master' caused Ranma a mental flinch, but she put on a smile for her regardless and shrugged with amusement. "Hey, you try getting locked up in an iron bodice and see if you don't learn a thing or two about french cuisine."

A fractional smile found its way to the edge of Nabiki's lips, but if faded with her downcast gaze. After a long moment of silence, she finally spoke again as a tear trailed down her cheek. "Please don't send me back, Master."

The redhead's shoulders slumped with her utterly defeated tone of voice, and this time she put her own hand on Nabiki's clenched ones. "I ain't gonna send you back, alright?"

Eye contact was hesitantly made. Hope dimly shown in the former Tendo's eyes. "R-Really?"

"Yeah, really," Ranma sighed, shaking her head. "Mom may be good with that, but I can't do it. Some people really deserve it, but... but I think the job gets to her sometimes."

"Thank... Thank you, master," Nabiki smiled gratefully, but Ranma's own mood soured.

"Don't thank me," The teen shook her head with regret and guilt. "I know Mom well enough to know she ain't just gonna let you go because I ask. Maybe in time, but..."

"I deserved it," The mercenary admitted firmly, surprising Ranma. "I was stupid, greedy and short sighted. I entered into that contract willingly and have had a lot of time to reflect on just how arrogant I was."

"That's not..."

Nabiki pulled Ranma into a firm embrace, clutching at her as if she were drowning and the redhead herself was a life preserver. "You saved me from that pit! From that woman! I'll do whatever you want! _Be_ whatever you want! Just don't send me back!"

"I already told ya I wasn't gonna," Ranma pried the frantic girl from her gently. "And the only thing I want ya to be is Nabiki Tendo... Just with the bitch end pointed at someone else."

It took Nabiki a moment to register the faint smile the last was spoken with and she couldn't help but to produce one herself. It wasn't full of that same spark of life Ranma once knew, but it was a start. The former Ice Queen nodded faintly.

"That... I think I can do that, Master."

* * *

**Author's Notes- **I had to rewrite a significant portion of this fic, which is what ultimately contributed to the delays in writing. Part of it was procrastination- yay, a rewrite -another part was just crazy life schedules. I appreciate you sticking around for it tho. Hope it doesn't disappoint :)

**Wrap Up; **_Some readers have been dismayed by the assumption that it's all downhill from here; that there is little left of the plot to be be told beyond the wrap up and ending. To those harboring such assumptions I must report that neither Elvis nor the fat lady has left the building. Or Tupac. He's still here too. __**And you pissed him off.**_

**A Bad Day; **I had to balance Nabiki's torture out to a degree against the overall tone of the fic. Technically this is hell and it probably should be a lot worse. On the other hand I didn't want to sugar coat it either. I hope scooping crap and being digested by dragons provides some meaningful penalty for you while not completely blowing the mood.

_Special thanks as always to... Um, Materia Blade, DCG (who always says boobs are a sound writing strategy) and DD._


End file.
